


When The Day Met The Night

by Bixiayu



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Blood, Bullying, Cancer, Child Abuse, Cuddles, Death, Depression, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Relationships, F/M, Fake Dating, Fanart, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, High School AU, Hospitalization, Howard Stark’s A+ Parenting, Hurt, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Loss of Parents, Lots of Angst, Lung Cancer, M/M, Married Tony and Steve, Mental Instability, Molesting, Mourning, Neglect, Nightmares, Nosebleeds, Oscorp - Freeform, PTSD, Pain, Panic Attacks, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Drug Addiction, Past Drug Use, Past Rape, Past Sexual Abuse, Past physical abuse, Peter is a dork, Recovery, Redemption, Sickfic, Spideypool - Freeform, Strangers to Lovers, Superfamily, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony is Overprotective, Traumatic Childhoods, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Violence, Warnings May Change, breakdowns, im sorry, my first spideypool fic, oral rape, terminal illness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2018-09-17 20:26:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 22
Words: 162,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9341858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bixiayu/pseuds/Bixiayu
Summary: Peter had come to believe those good things in life came to people who wait. Things had to get worse before they could really get better. Not even so much better, really, but he wouldn't mind some of that luck. He guessed that with the way that his life is turning out, it's the only way he can look at it.Happiness trailed behind sadness.Good followed bad.Sickness usually crept up behind health.Sickness is an all too familiar feeling for him."All you need to beat cancer is the right attitude."That quote had been said to him by the bunch of various doctors that have come and go to treat him. It made sense though, how can you really comfort someone with lung cancer?He had been homeschooled since he could remember...until he finally decided to try something new.At this point, his life was complicated enough. Overprotective parents and cancer eating away at his lungs aren't exactly the best mix someone could ask for.  He didn't think that his life could possibly get any worse until he enters the eleventh grade for the first time, and meets Wade Wilson. Possibly his most beautiful mistake.





	1. When The Sun Found The Moon

**Author's Note:**

> *ignore typos please, too lazy to beta at this moment (-~-)*

"You know, you don't have to do this.." Tony muttered, standing outside of Peter's doorway.

"He is right," Steve agreed. "Maybe you're not ready yet."

Peter slipped on his black converse from the foot of his bed. "But I really want to." He said. Today is supposed to be his first day of school.

As an eleventh grader.

He had been homeschooled all of his life since getting the diagnosis of lung cancer from the age of four. Until he was ten years old, he was mostly bedridden and lonely. His naive child like self-was too young to understand what was actually going on. All his Dad and Pa said was that his body wasn't doing so well, and he will be home before he knew it.

His childhood was mostly hospital visits, chemotherapy, and radiation, surgeries, and then maybe a month at home if he was lucky enough before the whole cycle repeated itself for years on end.

Until he got really sick when he was ten and went through this surgery that basically saved his life. They thought that he wouldn't make it through the procedure because he was too weak to actually breathe on his own. 

But it was either going through the surgery that _might've_ saved his life, or death since he was expected to die in a couple of _weeks_.

The doctors said that it was a miracle that he even survived. 

After he recovered and had some tests done, his family found out that the cancer was still bad, but not as fatal as before. Although the cell division slowed down it was still very abnormal. He was able to leave the hospital and finally reconnect to the outside world, but the happy news was short lived.

He still had to take an anti cancer medication called Taxol. It slowed the growth of cancer in his lungs and helped keep it from spreading to other parts of his body. It was nice having a sense of hope because it was supposed to keep his cancer stable. But deep down, Peter knew that it wasn't really a cure.

He had a nasal cannula wrapping around his head, behind his ears, and down his shirt helping him breathe. The tubes were connected to a small oxygen machine that he carried around with him everywhere. He was kind of a lonely kid growing up, his parents were either at work or, visiting hours at the hospital were over.

So the tiny machine was his first and only friend for a while. It was like a small backpack with wheels that he rolled around. 

He wasn't in perfect health, but beggars aren't choosers. All those years ago, his illness was so severe that he wasn't expected to survive past age ten.

But he did since he would be turning seventeen in about nine months.

Peter stood from his bed and slid his backpack on. He walked towards his parents by the door way. He put on a reassuring smile for the both of them.

"I'm going to be okay, I promise," Peter said. "I really really want to try this." At this point in his life, he would've given almost anything to feel normal. He had spent most of his life at home with his parents or with doctors and nurses at the hospital. He knew how desperate he sounded, but he really wanted friends, or at least, a friend.

Stark's brown eyes went from Peter to his husband, Steve. The look he gave was pleading but already embraced in the essence of defeat.

"Do you have everything in your bag?" He asked.

Peter nodded.

"Read them all out to me," Steve commanded. His voice had a natural strong ness to it, but his eyes and his body language said otherwise.

"I'm not six-" Peter tried to object.

Tony and Steve crossed their arms, staring Peter down.

"Okay okay.." Peter sighed.

He cleared his throat.

"Emergency care numbers, Stark industries phone numbers, your phone numbers, and my medicine."

Peter put on a small smile. ' _I've got this._ ' He said to himself.

Tony pulled his son's body into a large hug. "I'm so proud of you." He whispered, his voice breaking a little bit. "How far you've come, and what you've been through.."

Peter returned the hug. "Thanks, Dad."

He pulled away and wiped a tear from his eye. "I'm going to miss you so much."

"It's okay, everything is going to be fine."

"Peter-" Steve said, his voice much more firm than before, but his eyes were more gentle. "If anything goes wrong, we're pulling you out immediately."

Peter slumped his shoulders down. "Yeah... I know." He mumbled. Peter guessed that things going was something like his lung having a seizure due to the smallest irritant and he ends up not being able to breathe.

_That would be unfortunate._

"Now come here." He said his voice on a lighter, happier note.

Large, muscular arms wrapped tightly around Peter. "I love you so much.." Steve's voice whispered in his ears.

"Same...Pa..." he barely managed. "but can't...breathe..."

Rogers pulled away, "Sorry." He shyly apologized.

Once Peter regained his composure. He let out a bright smile that made his parent's souls smile and ache at the boy he was all those years ago, and the man he was becoming.

"I'm ready for my first day of school."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

Peter didn't realize how nervous he was until their car pulled up to the front of Midtown Science High school. His heart was racing in his chest as his palms began to sweat. He was having trouble breathing, but it was because he held his breath for too long. His eyes were glued to a number of students walking in and out of the gigantic front doors.

They all seemed like they knew each other. Guys walking in large groups, and girls surrounded by large cliques. And then there was Peter.

The new kid that knew no one.

"Peter?" A voice rang, interrupting him from his thoughts. "Are you having second thoughts?"

Peter whipped his head towards his parents, who were staring back at him with concern.

"N-No." Peter stuttered.

"Really? Cause we've been here for seven minutes." Steve said. "It's okay if you want to go home, and try again tomorrow.."

Peter slowly turned his head to face the school. _'Why did I even want to do this?_ ' He thought.

"I'm-I'm fine.." Peter said nervously. "I can do this, I'm going to do this."

His brown eyes locked onto the features of the men sitting before him. "I love you guys, thank you.. for everything."

"Remember," Steve said. "If you need anything, call us, alright?"

Peter gave a weak nod. "I will, I promise."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

Peter didn't know what he was expecting. He kept his head down while he was walking through the courtyard, and no one noticed him very well. But as soon as he stepped into the school...

Stares, upon stares, upon stares.

The piercing eyes followed his every footstep. Filled with a mixture of curiosity, pity, and humor. It was as if he was a specimen on display for everyone to gawk at.

He wanted to lift his head and make eye contact, but he decided against it. Their piercing eyes would've made him crawl back inside of his defensive shell. In all honesty, he probably would've run back into the bathroom and begged his parents to pick him up.

' _No!'_

_'I am a lot of things... but I'm not a quitter.'_

_'I'm just going to make it through one day.'_

It wasn't the stares that got to him the most though, he had gotten used to them whenever he went outside.

It was the whispering.

Peter heart sunk in his chest as he knew that this was a bad idea. What possessed him to think that someone like him, could fit into and actually socialize with people like this? If they all knew that he had cancer, they would for sure treat him differently. Maybe with more pity.

All Peter wanted was to feel like he was someone's equal.

His converse padded along the tile floor of the hallway. His head elevated up, but his eyes were downcast. In all honesty, he was more focused on stepping inside of the tiles and not on the cracks. It was the only thing keeping him slightly sane at the moment.

Once he turned the corner to reach his locker, he thought that the morning torture would be over.

But he was wrong.

There were two of jocks swarmed around his locker section. One had blond hair and another had brownish hair with hazel eyes. Peter knew _those_ guys from every cliche high school movie. They were the mean jocks that were probably on the football team dating the head cheerleaders.

At first, they didn't notice him until he spoke to them.  

"Excuse me.." Peter mustered up the confidence to say.

The blond turned towards him and snickered. "Were you talking to us?"

The obviously more athletic, meatier guys stared down at him, making him feel smaller than he already was. "I... umm... just need to get to my locker."

The blond squinted his eyes staring at Peter up and down. "I can't believe the rumors were true..." one of them murmured. "Can you believe it, Wade? Tony Stark's son is actually attending our school."

"let me guess, you got kicked out of one of those fancy boarding schools?"

He began to laugh as he nudged the shoulder of the other male next to him. "Your parents are faggots so why wouldn't you be?"

"And let me guess." Peter murmured. "You must play football..."

The blond was taken aback with Peter's quote. "Of course I do." He said. "What the hell does it matter to you?"

Peter let out a small laugh. His hypothesis was proven correct.

"What the fuck is so funny?" Flash asked. His sudden tone made the humor that Peter had, vanish.

Peter then put his hand to his chest and turned his laughs into fake coughs. "Nothing." He said. "Absolutely nothing... just my umm... asthma."

The other male, Wade, had a frown spread on his face as he was shaking his head slightly. He held his hand on his friend's shoulder attempting to calm him down. "Flash..." He sighed. "Let's not throw a tantrum today..."

"Your parents are disgusting." Flash spat. "And so are you."

"You don't even know... you don't know them..." Peter mustered out. A lot of people judged his parents and he hated it so much. They weren't any different than anyone else... even to this day, he still didn't see what the big problem was. He has two dads, he had two loving parents... that was enough. That would always be enough.

Flash leaned in closer, an obviously disgusted grimace plastered on his face. "I'm surprised that the school even allowed someone like you to be here. Can you even control yourself around the other boys?"

"I wouldn't be attracted to someone like you," Peter said, narrowing his eyes.

Flash walked closer to Peter. Their chests breathing on one another's. The bigger males jacket pressed onto Peters shirt, causing him to smell the leather that it reeked off. With one sudden motion, large hands pushed Peter backward and onto the ground.

"Just because you have rich homosexuals for parents, that doesn't make you better than me or anyone else."

He was lucky that he didn't land on his oxygen tank and break it cause that would've been devastating. It probably would've stopped the supplemental oxygen to his body and that would cause his lung to have a seizure. 

Peter stared upwards at them in fear, he didn't know what to do, his body was frozen on the ground. Flash seemed like a total douche, and the one named 'Wade' wasn't even doing anything, not really. Peter didn't know how to deal with bullies, his parents usually felt with the kids teasing him when he grew up. 

"FLASH." Wade snapped. He pulled his blond friend away from the scared figure on the floor. "Control your testosterone.." He muttered.

"Stay out of our way." Flash grumbled under his breath. "I don't want HIV."

Wade and Flash walked in the opposite direction of the brunette. Flash was still worked up. Clenching his fist and grumbling profanities under his breath. But for a split second, the other male had a bit of empathy in his eye.

Peter wasn't sure that he could survive another second of this high school. He had already managed to make someone hate him just for being who he was, What was he really expecting to happen anyway? That someone could actually like him for him?

"Why are you on the floor?" A feminine voice rang. "Are you okay?"

He looked up and focused on a pair of bright green eyes staring intently at his. Her blond hair in a tight ponytail with bangs that rested on top of her forehead.

"I..umm.." Peter began. But the girl held her hand out for him to grab.

She helped him up to his feet, smiling warmly at him. "I'm Gwen." She said. "Gwen Stacy. What's your name?"

"You-You don't know my name?" Peter asked dumbly. Apparently people already seemed to know him before he knew them.

"No, I know your name. " she smiled. "And I'm pretty sure a lot of other people know your name too."

"I just want to make sure you know your name."

"I'm P-Peter." He said. "Peter Stark-Rogers."

"Or Peter Stark." Peter mumbled on, nervously running his hand through the fluff he called his hair. "Or Peter Rogers." Gwen was extremely pretty, and it made Peter extremely nervous. Why was someone like her, spend time with someone like him? He was literally a nobody, and in all honesty, he reminded himself of a sac of potatoes. 

He didn't think he was attractive, at all.

"The order doesn't really matter." He continued laughing nervously.

Gwen nodded slowly, a small and awkward smile on her face. "O-Okay I-"

"Wait." Peter interrupted her. "H-How do you know my name?" He asked.

Gwen let out a small frown. "You're Tony Stark's son. I'm pretty sure everyone knows who you are."

Peter internally sighed. He hoped that who his parents were wouldn't change how people treated him. But ofcourse it did, it always did. He already managed to make an enemy because of it.

"Nice to meet you though." Gwen said.

"I-It's pleasure.." Peter mumbled shyly.

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

Gwen helped Peter to his first class which was history, luckily she had it too. They sat in the back together since Peter didn't want even more people staring at him. Unfortunately, his tactic didn't exactly work. As soon as they recognized his face, some students already started asking questions about him and his life.

_______________________

_"Is it true that Tony Stark went for all of Maxim's cover models?"_

_"Is it true that... y'know... you have two gay dads?"_

_"Do you know who your real parents are?"_

_________________________

Peter had Gwen by his side like a shield. She was blocking off all the questions asked by the other students, protecting Peter.   

But when history was over, Gwen had AP Biology and he had English. She guided him to his class before she left, reminding him where the cafeteria was. He was so grateful they had lunch together, at least he wouldn't be eating alone today.

English was pretty boring. Some Shakespeare on the first day, ofcourse. The staring and the whispering were just a couple of things he had grown used to. Some people still asked questions, but Peter gave them vague one worded answers.

Peter slowly made his way to the cafeteria, he found the table where Gwen was with a red haired girl siting across from her.

"MJ." Gwen began. "This is Peter."

"Hi." Peter smiled warmly.

Peter was waiting for it. That thing that most people did when they met him. That annoying thing they did with their eyes. Instead of meeting his eyes, the first thing they would land on was his nasal cannula and they would follow the tube down to his oxygen tank. Only a couple seconds later would they actually meet his face with an apologetic smile filled with pitty that was obviously written all over it.

"Hey... there... It's nice to meet you, I guess." MJ fake smiled. Peter could tell that she was trying her best not to stare at the tube wrapping around his head, but she wasn't very good at hiding her wandering eyes.

"Same." Peter whispered.

He averted his gaze to his bag to pull out two tablets of Taxol and a granola bar. He needed to take it three times a day, before each meal. For lunch, all he packed was something small since he didn't each much anyway. This medication that was keeping him alive affected almost every aspect of his life negatively.

It was alright though.

He would rather live uncomfortably with cancer than die painfully of cancer.

Gwen cleared her throat, breaking MJ's trance. "Peter." She whispered.

"Hmm?" He said.

"Okay." She began. "Don't look, but I think Wade is looking over here."

' _Wade... that name sounded so familiar.'_

_'Oh right, the guy who stood there doing nothing while I got verbally assaulted by Flash.'_

_'That Wade.'_

Peter could feel his face turning red. Ofcourse he got stared at all the time, but usually it lasted for a couple seconds before the other person got bored and moved on. They didn't hold the gaze for over a minute.

' _Okay. Be cool about this.'_

Peter slowly turned his head towards Wade. He was sitting at one of the round circular table with other guys that had the same build as him, including Flash. Peter awkwardly smiled but he was ninety five percent sure it came out as a grimace instead.

' _oops_ '

Peter let out a tiny wave as he stared at Wade.

' _Be friendly.'_

He saw a tiny smile grow on Wade face as he shook his and turned his attention away from Peter back towards his friends.

' _Okay then.'_

"Well that was..." MJ murmured. "Stupid of you to do that."

"What did you think you were doing?" She asked, bitterly.

Peter looked at her, shaking his head. "Nothing.. absolutely nothing. Just trying to be friendly."

"You're obviously wasting your time if you think that you two could actually be friends."

"I mean." She scoffed. "Take a look at him and then take a look at yourself, string bean."

"Right." Peter murmured. Another insult, he hadn't heard "string bean" before, that was new.

"If you want him to acknowledge _your_ existence, you have to get inside of his circle." She said. "You'd be lucky enough if he even bothered to remember your name."

"Does he know your name?" Asked Peter.

"Ofcourse he does." MJ said. "I've liked him since middle school, and we've talked like... six times."

"He definitely knows my name."

"But you're not in his circle, are you?"

"I will be."

"Why is he so important?" Peter asked.

"Do you have eyes?" MJ asked. "Have you taken a good look at him?"

Peter felt his face go red, again. "Umm yeah... he's pretty attractive... I guess."

"Oh please." MJ rolled her eyes. "I don't have a chance wth him, yet." She said. "So don't think that you would ever."

Her blue eyes locked into Peter's physique, her judgemental stare made him feel uncomfortable. "I'm pretty sure he wouldn't want you anyway."

' _Of course not.'_

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

When lunch ended, Peter had to go to his last period of the day, AP Biology. It wasn't too far, but he somehow managed to get there late. He internally cursed when most of the students already took their seats. He was the last one in the classroom which meant that when he walked in, everyone was staring up at him.

He tried to ignore the stares as he tried to find an empty seat.

And he found one.

He was relived that he wouldn't be standing in front of the class for what seemed like an eternity. But he his stomach churned when he saw the person that his desk was next to.

Wade Wilson.

' _Ofcourse it was him, why wouldn't it be?'_

Peter bent his head down and made his way towards the empty lonesome seat.

He heard Wade's quiet laugh as he sat down next to him, at the large desk that fit  _only_ two people.

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

Peter was still and uncomfortable, he could feel his hands begin to sweat. He was one of the guys from this morning. Standing there while he and his parents were getting bad mouthed by that Flash guy. The brunette averted his eyes, making sure that he wouldn't see the Wade out of the corner of his eyes.

Thank goodness the teacher came in just in time to introduce himself.

"My name is Mr. Banner." He said. He had dark curly black hair with some streaks of grey flowing though. He had rectangle glasses that hung on the tip of his nose. "I will be your biology teacher this year. Nice to meet you, class."

The class mumbled a jumbled hello as they grimly pulled out their books.

"I will give you all time to introduce yourselves to your partner. You'll be sitting with them for a while, so I advise getting to know them."

_'Well shit.'_

In only a matter of seconds, the classroom grew to a loud roar of students chatting with one another.

Peter stayed silent and kept his eyes glued to The endless array of biology posters in the classroom.

_"So... are you just going to ignore me all period?"_

Peter turned his head just the slightest to meet the hazel eyes of Wade. He was being stared at in a what Peter interpreted as mocking manner that made his skin crawl. The look inside of the hazel eyes made Peter feel like he was being internally laughed at. It made him feel even smaller than before. Why couldn't someone just treat him like he was normal for once?

He had cancer... that didn't make him any less human than anyone else inside of the room, so why was everyone acting like it was a big deal?

Peter stared back at Wade and noticed something else... he couldn't tell what it was to be exact... but maybe is was... something else... Wade's jaw line looked like it was crafted by angels, and his chin had a sexy amount of stubble that made Peter's heart beat rapidly in his chest.

_'stay calm.'_

"You already know who I am... and I know who you are. We met this morning... remember?" Peter said flatly.

"All I know about you," Wade said scooting closer. "Is your name.." His voice slowed, lowering in an octave. He was practically pressed onto the brunette as he kept his eyes locked onto his skin. 

Peter didn't know what this feeling was, but he wasn't sure if he liked it or not. He was slightly uncomfortable but soothing at the same time. This was the closest a stranger had been to him... and being this close to Wade and observing all of his beautiful features made never want the moment to end. He was really attractive... extremely attractive.

But Peter knew better, he knew not to hang out with People like him. He seemed like a mean person from their encounter this morning. His and his friend were insulting him and his parents, how could he be friends with someone like that?

"Don't." Peter said, pulling away from the touch. "I'm also the son of two faggot parents, remember?"

Wade paused. The cockiness he had, shifted into a defensive expression. "I didn't say anything about you this morning." He admitted. " and Flash was just joking, don't be such a hard ass."

Peter rolled his eyes. "But you just stood there and stared at me... saying nothing."

"Sorry." He murmured. "Flash just has... issues. I didn't want to say anything that would make him even more upset."

The brunette remained silent, turning his attention back to the posters around the classroom. A tiny apology wouldn't make him feel better. The words had already been said, he was already hurt.

Even for a couple minutes, he still felt a gaze pierce his back side. Wade continued to stare at Peter's scrawny physique before him. People had stared at him all day. In the class room, in the lunch room, and even in the hallways. But this look felt different. It  His elevator eyes moving up and down.

Peter turned his gaze back towards his lab partner, narrowing his eyes in confusion. "Why do you keep looking at me?" He asked.

Wade shrugged, throwing a sly smile at Peter. "I'm just trying to figure you out." He said. "You seem like the emotional lonely type of person.."

"Why don't you tell me about yourself?"

 _'emotional lonely type?'_ Peter thought. 'The only reason why he didn't talk to anyone was because he couldn't really relate to them. They had spent their childhood on school or actually enjoying themselves. He spent his inside of a hospital.

"No." Peter said. That baggage was apart of his past. He didn't want to think about that now. He was turning a new leaf, leaving all of those sad memories behind him.

Wade finally fell silent as he continued to stare into the brown orbs that were Peter's eyes. The other male was amusing if anything... he seemed different but in a good way. He wasn't like everyone else that went here. But ofcourse, how could wake make assumptions? He had barely known him for a day.

"Why do you keep staring at me?"

"Why do you care so much?" Wilson asked. "Half of the school is staring at you, Why can't I do it too?"

"It makes me feel really uncomfortable." Peter admitted. "And you're not even saying anything either... it's kinda creepy." 

"Well... I'm just thinking..." he began.

Peter raised his eyebrow. "About?" He asked.

"Since we're friends... I need a nickname for you.." Wilson said. 

"Friends?" Peter asked. "I don't think-"

"Prove me wrong... don't be the loner type..." Wade whispered in a joking manner.

"Even if we were friends... you don't need a nickname for me. My name is already short enough."

Wade ignored his comment, his eyes were distant before finally focusing back on the brunette infront of him. "How about.." He pondered. "Baby boy?"

"Baby what?"

"Baby boy."

Peter tilted his head in confusion. Out of all the names he had been called in his entire life, the positive and the negative ones, this one just made no sense. Was it a compliment? Was it an insult? "Why would you call me that?"

"Well..." Wade hesitated. "Why not?"

"Are you one of those people that are into those weird kinks? Because I'm really not into-" Peter tried.

"No, baby boy." Wade smiled. "Not really."

"I'm serious." Peter said. "Quit it with the weird nickname."

"Yeah yeah baby boy." Wade shrugged him off. "I'll stop calling you baby boy."

_Today was going to be a long day..._


	2. When The Moon Found The Sun

Relief washed over Peter when he was one of the first students out of the biology classroom. Surprisingly, they already had classwork to do, which was looking at the stages of mitosis in onion cells. Peter was doing all the work while Wade was blabbing on about all of his sports achievements? College? Food? Peter didn't really know, he wasn't actually paying attention. All he did was nod along pretending to listen because Wade would start touching his shoulder or take his pencil out of his hands trying to get his attention. 

Luckily, Peter had been watching the clock from the corner of his eye. He even packed up five minutes early and already had his backpack slung over his shoulder and the handle of his oxygen tank in his hand.

_'Be kind, always.' He thought to himself._

He bit his tongue and took _many_ deep inhales to keep from saying something he would regret to the babbling teen. He just wanted him to stop talking, just for thirty seconds. To this day, Peter didn't know it was possible for someone to talk for over an hour without taking a break once.

_it was slightly impressive._

When the bell rang, Peter practically shot up from his chair.

He just wanted to leave.

But the brunette turned around to focus his attention to Wade who was shoving his books inside of his backpack so he could continue his conversation with Peter outside of the classroom. 

Unfortunately, it seemed like the skinny brunette slipped through Wade's fingertips. In one second, he was standing up, and in the other, he was halfway out the door.

The last thing Wade heard from his baby boy was a quiet goodbye. 

Wade smiled, he thought he was doing a pretty good job of actually trying to make a friend. Considering everyone practically threw themselves at him, he didn't actually know how to talk to people that well.

He could already feel a strong friendship growing between the two of them. Peter seemed nice and slightly optimistic, but not too naive. He actually seemed like he was an interesting person, not a narrow-minded jock. Like the ones he hung out with because those were the people, he could tolerate on a daily basis.

Maybe even something more than friends. 

_Definitely._

  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

Peter was sitting down on the bench in front of the main office waiting for his dad to pick him up. He was alone, no surprise there, skimming through some Wonder Woman comics on his phone, his all time favorite superhero. When he saw Gwen and MJ approach him from the corner of his eye.

Peter put on a smile as they stood near him. MJ's features lit up as she was squealing and laughing. Her red hair was bouncing all over the place with the fits of laughter she produced.

"Are you okay, MJ?" Peter asked. Her face was becoming as red as her hair.

_'Was it possible to die of laughter?'_

"GUESS WHO GOT A DATE WITH WADE WILSON?" She screeched, jumping up and down.

' _Damn_.'

_Peter kinda liked Wade. Just a little bit._

The brunette shrugged off the thought. It was impossible for him to think that he and Wade could really be in a relationship. From his standpoint now, it seemed like a joke. Wade probably didn't even like men.

Shame.

Guys like him only liked girls, that's the way it _always_ was.

"You did?" Peter asked, trying to keep his voice level. He internally scoffed. His heart was broken by Wade and they weren't even dating.

How depressing.

She nodded with excitement and smiled brightly at Gwen and Peter.

"Congratulations.." Peter said, faking his excitement. In all honesty, he was kinda jealous.

_Only a tiny bit._

"It isn't exactly a date.." Gwen interrupted. Her features informative and apologetic at the same time. "All he did was invite you to his party."

"That's basically a date, right?" She asked.

Gwen raised her eyebrow as her eyes bounced from MJ to Peter. "Isn't there something you need to say?"

MJ's eyes bounced from Peter to Gwen before she shook her head. "No." She said.

"MJ."

"I bet he doesn't even want to come..." Red pouted.

"You didn't even ask him," Gwen sighed.

"Someone like him wouldn't want to go anyway... We're better off not even asking."

_'Wow, okay..'_

"I'm still here.." Peter waved sarcastically.

Peter could see how hard MJ was trying not to scowl. Her features dropped into a frown when she turned back towards him. "Wade wanted me to ask you if you want to come." 

_'Oh damn... maybe he actually likes me-'_

_'No... he doesn't. He's only inviting me as a friend... or as a joke.'_

_'How could he like "someone like me" anyway?'_

"Umm.. n-no.. I probably shouldn't." Peter murmured shyly. A large party filled with high school students was the last place he should ever be. Even dealing with all the people at the grocery was hard enough. Someone people still stared and managed to trip on his oxygen tank. If that happened at a party, he wouldn't be able to last ten minutes.

"Told you!" MJ said, trying to hide her excitement. 

She whipped her head towards Peter and did that judgmental glare with her eyes. "Don't worry about going." She said. "It's not your scene anyway."

He felt a pang of hurt when he saw that the red head didn't want him to come. There was _absolutely_ nothing going on between him and Wade.

_There never was._

So why was she so worried?

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

When Tony finally arrived most of the students had already left as there were only a few roaming through the hallways. Peter entered the car silently and put on a fake smile despite how he was feeling. What MJ said hurt way more than it should.

' _Someone like him wouldn't want to come.'_

And even the hurtful words from Flash made him feel worse about himself, what was his problem anyway?

He thought that he should've gotten used to them now. The remarks and all of the assumptions... but apparently, they still hurt as much as they did before.

"How was your first day?" Tony chimed. He had a bright smile on his face and his eyes glinted with excitement.

_'Today was kind of... crappy.'_

"Oh...um..today was fine.." Peter mumbled out, fiddling with the tube on his oxygen tank.

Tony froze as the smile fell off of his face. "What's wrong?" He asked. "You've been excited for months and all I get is fine?"

"What happened? Are you okay? Did something happen? You know you can always talk to me."

_'Just forget about Wade, MJ, and Flash.'_

"Sorry... I didn't know what I was expecting to happen." He smiled halfheartedly. "I found my classes easily and I made a couple friends."

"Did you take your medicine?" Asked Tony.

"Yeah."

"Did you eat something for lunch?"

_'No, MJ's remarks ruined my appetite.'_

"Yes." Peter lied.

Tony nodded slowly, "You know if something's wrong, you can tell me right?"

"Of course."

Peter's father paused, raising his eyebrows. "Are you going to tell me or do I have to find out myself?"

' _No, I can't tell dad about Flash or what MJ said. Not only would I be embarrassed, but MJ would get a verbal beat down. And we were friends, right?'_

Peter hesitated, he needed an excuse for his obscure behavior. "Nothing is wrong... I'm just not feeling very well..."

Tony's eyes widened. "Are you okay, I can call you Steve from work.. you don't have to go to school tomorrow if you don't wan-"

' _crap_ '

"Wait, Dad... I'm just tired... I didn't get a lot of sleep last night." He shrugged, "The nerves and stuff."

"Oh... okay.." Stark sighed in relief, "Let's get you home then."

  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

 

It took twenty minutes for Peter to convince Tony to go back to work.

"I'll be fine dad, I'll just be catching up on last nights sleep." He reassured him. "I won't find a way to combust, I promise."

"Dinner." He pointed, "Is in the fridge."

"Yes, I know" Peter sighed. It hurt how did dad didn't have enough faith in him just to spend a couple hours alone. He wasn't six anymore, he was sixteen. "Heat the oven to four hundred and twenty-five degrees and cook for twenty-five to thirty minutes. And then let it rest for five minutes."

"And if anything happens, please don't hesitate to call me, alright?"

Peter nodded. "I won't. I promise."

A hurt smile flashed on Tony's face. "I love you so so much, you know that, right?"

Peter embraced his father into a long hug. "Of course I know." Peter murmured. "You tell me that every day." 

  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

Peter was lying on his bed, staring down at his biology homework in front of him. It was almost impossible to concentrate. The words that were said to him were still roaming around his head.  _'Someone like him wouldn't want to come.'_

Peter didn't know why, but each word that repeated in his ears broke his heart a little more each time. He knew he shouldn't care, he knew that he shouldn't be offended, but he just _was_.

Why were people who barely even knew him already making assumptions about his life? Like they knew him better than he knew himself?

He sighed as he got off of his bed. He went downstairs as his mind went to the only thing that seemed like it could distract him.

_Food._

Peter walked downstairs and headed towards the kitchen. He was a little bit hungry. He had a tiny breakfast and no lunch. He knew he should really start to change his eating habits, but that was easier said than done. 

He wouldn't lie, the medication he was on really fucked up his entire body.

But then again, living painfully with cancer was better than dying painfully with cancer.

At least, that's what everyone else said.

Once he entered the kitchen, he opened the fridge to find some leftover pasta from last night. There wasn't much, but it was something. He wasn't in the mood for cooking. Not that he could anyway, his parents didn't trust him at all.

 _With anything_.

It was rare that he was actually home alone. His parents were like hawks that loomed over him every second of every day. Peter didn't see what the big deal was, he felt okay, he felt fine. Maybe he couldn't breathe perfectly on his own because he had more scar tissue in his lung then actually healthy lung tissue, but at least he wasn't back at the hospital.

Deep down, Peter felt like his own parents just didn't _believe in him_. They still saw him as the fragile, sick, and bony eight-year old that cried him self to sleep because he was in so much pain.

But Peter knew he wasn't that kid anymore.

He was the sixteen-year-old kid that lived longer than all the doctors thought he would. That got past the waves of chemotherapy, the radiation, and the surgery.

He was okay, he was going to be alright. Why couldn't his parents just trust him on that?

  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

A soft knock on Peter's door woke him up the next morning.

"Peter?" A voice called. "Are you okay in there?"

Peter lifted his heavy head to gaze at the door. "Yeah... I-I'm fine." He groaned. He was absolutely exhausted, he didn't sleep too well last night. 

Nightmares.

About the same thing, each and every time.

He pulled off his blankets and grabbed his oxygen tank from the side of his bed. His feet slowly as he made his way towards the door. As Peter opened it and saw Tony on the other side, a smile rose to his father's face. 

"Nice bedhead." 

The brunette ran his free hand through his head trying to tame the fluff he called hair. That didn't work out very well. "Thanks." He murmured.

The happy tone shifted when Tony spoke again. "If you're not feeling up to it today, remember that you don't have to go." He said.

"It's okay." Peter lied. "I'm fine. I'm feeling a little bit better."

Tony raised his eyebrow. "Really?" He asked. "Cause I've been knocking for five minutes. You were dead silent."

He scratched the back of his head nervously, "Sorry about that," He mumbled. "I was still sleeping."

Tony nodded slowly, "Okay. Come down for breakfast when you're ready."

"Yeah, of course.."

Peter closed his door after his father left and went over towards the bathroom. He brushed his teeth and washed his face, trying his best to not look like a zombie.

He went over towards his closet and tried to decide on something to wear. He needed to find something that actually fit him decently. He was pretty small for the average sixteen-year-old because of the medication he took which caused him not to have a normal appetite.

He was quite scrawny, so he couldn't wear jeans without the support of a belt. And most of his shirts seemed to have a slightly baggy appearance on his arms.

He chose a black long sleeve sweatshirt with some dark blue pants, and of course, his black converse. He even attempted to brush his hair, but that was a joke. It was still a mess of different directions.

Once he made sure that he had everything before slipping on his backpack and heading downstairs.

When Peter was only halfway, he stopped abruptly when he heard Tony in a deep conversation with Steve.

_"I feel like we should pull him out of school, Steve."_

_"Why? He seemed fine when I saw him yesterday."_

_"He told me he wasn't feeling well and that he didn't get enough sleep last night. Remember the last time he told us that?"_

Peter heard Steve sigh, the weak one he let out when he was deep in thought. _"Tell me what's on your mind."_

" _I don't think that this is a good idea for him. I still feel terrible about leaving him alone last night, but sending him away with other people, alone? For hours every day?"_ Tony whimpered.

"Peter is a teenager, he can handle himself. We're not going to be by his side forever, you know that right?"

Peter felt his chest tighten. _'My own father doesn't trust me.'_

The thought ruined his appetite, but he knew that if he stayed in his room all morning, they would worry even more.

Peter stumbled down the stairs to make it look like he just came from his room.

He saw Tony's expression change as soon as they locked eyes.

"Good Morning Dad, Good morning Pa." He smiled brightly.

"Hey, kiddo," Steve said, looking up from his newspaper paper briefly.

"Morning, Pete." Tony chimed. "You feeling up for breakfast?" 

_'No'_

"Yeah..of course.." Peter said, walking towards the kitchen. Maybe he could sneak off with just eating an apple and a banana. Something small, but quite filling to him.

Right when he was about to enter the wooden floor of his kitchen, Tony blocked him from entering. He had such a maternal look in his eyes that made Peter pause in his tracks.

He put a warm smile on his face as he let a small nervous laugh escape his lips. "No, it's okay, sit down, I'll prepare something for you."

Peter had no choice but to accept his father's offer. "Oh okay, thanks, Dad." He muttered nervously.

He sat down and internally prayed that he had enough of an appetite to eat what his Dad will make for him. He could tell that it was hurting his parents when he didn't eat, but some days, it was hard to keep anything down or find the strength to put anything in. In the basement, they even had an at home IV treatment for whenever Peter felt too sick to eat anything. It gave him the minerals, vitamins, and fluids he needed just to make it through the day.

He had those days sometimes, but he always managed to pull himself through with his parents reassuring words.

"You didn't tell me what happened yesterday." The blond male said, eyeing Peter carefully.

"What?" Peter asked. "Nothing happened..."

"That's not what your father told me."

Brown eyes traveled to Tony curiously. Peter didn't remember doing anything wrong..He did all of his homework, he ate dinner... his lung was getting itself together...

 _'The car.'_ Tony mouthed.

The memory came back to him. After school when he said he wasn't feeling well because he was tired. His parents took everything he said about his health too seriously.

It made sense though.

"Oh..." Peter trailed off. "I was a little sleepy after school yesterday, that's all."

Eyebrows raised, demanding a further explanation.

"I didn't get much sleep the night before..." He admitted.

"Do we need to put you back on triazolam?" Steve asked, sternly. But tiny hints of compassion shone in his voice.

"N-No.." Peter stuttered. Being back on the hellish drug would be his worst nightmare. Apparently, he was " _depressed_ " after he got released from the hospital and wasn't sleeping often.

The doctors put him on triazolam to help him fall asleep until his body got back into the cycle of sleeping without the heavy doses of anti cancer medication. But the agent made Peter's body feel extremely tired. He slept for about sixteen hours every day. And when he woke up, he could barely keep his eyes open.

At one point, it was so bad that when Steve and Tony brought him in for a check up, the nurses thought he developed chronic fatigue syndrome.

"I'm fine." He continued on. "It was just the nerves... first day of school jitters I guess..."

"Okay." Steve nodded. "I'm glad you're feeling better."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

The car ride to school was fairly silent except for the continuous chatter of Tony taking on the phone to his assistant, Pepper, about some work related things.

Once they pulled up to the school, Peter let out an obvious sigh. The thought of the stares and the whispers still haunted him from the first day. The taunts and all the question about him and his family made him want to curl up and hide. Why did so many people want to know everything about him? 

"You okay, Pete?" Tony asked.

"Yeah," Peter said. "I'm fine."

"Look kiddo, I understand if you don't want to go back. A high school is a rough place. There's no shame in wanting to come back home."

_'He's doubting me, again.'_

_'I'm going to do this. I'll go through at least one year.'_

"No, it's okay," Peter reassured his father. "I want to be here, I want to do this." 

"Okay.." Tony whispered timidly. Peter could tell that he wasn't very convincing. "Remember if you need anything, just call."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

Once Peter walked back into the school for his second dose of his daily scheduled torture, 

Stares, upon stares, upon stares.

Again.

He kept his head down and tried not to notice the other students continuing to stare at him. They went from his tank to his body, and then towards his sweatshirt. The feeling made the hairs on the back of his neck stick up and his heart sink in his chest. Do normal kids experience things like this? No.

_'Why couldn't they just leave me alone?'_

Once Peter turned the corner to get to his locker, he was internally praying that Wade and his goon, Flash, weren't there.

Luckily, he got his wish when his locker section was mostly empty. The only exception was a of couple of girls talking to each other.

Peter opened his locker with ease and got some of his materials for his next class. But, the longer he stayed, the sharper the pang in the side of his neck became when he one the girls look at him.

_It felt pretty fucking embarrassing._

When he was done, he felt a small tap on his shoulder. When he turned around, he saw a black haired girl in a dark dress. Her bright blue eyes were scanning Peters physique head to toe. But not with judgement like MJ, it's was with empathy.

"You're Tony Stark's son, right?" She asked.

"Umm." Peter shifted his weight awkwardly. "Yes... I am."

"I heard this rumor yesterday... and well... I kinda read it online a couple years ago... but... Is it true that y'know..." She side eyed his oxygen tank as her words danced around the subject she was trying to ask about. "You... have lung cancer?"

' _Stage four that metastasized to my liver.'_

"Um, yeah." Peter mumbled. "The rumor is true."

"Does it hurt?" She asked suddenly.

For the first time in a long time, Peter was actually honest with himself. 

_'I want to die most days.'_

But he wasn't honest with her. If there's one thing he has learned over the years, it was to sugarcoat the story that was his life. He should only talk about the happy moments to keep everyone else from feeling bad for him. It was better that way, he received way less pity.

"When I was younger." He admitted. "But I'm doing much better now."

"I'm just... happy to be here."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

Peter's morning classes passed rather quickly and silently. He sat in the back, alone, as usual. The questions and the stared dialed down as his classmates were slowly getting used to him. The teachers lectured on about material that the class could care less about considering only about one eighth of them were paying attention. The rest were on their phones, talking to their friends, or simply sleeping.

When lunch finally came around, Peter found the all too familiar table that consisted of his only two friends, Gwen and MJ.

"Hey." He says, flatly.

"Hi, Pete." Gwen smiled.

But MJ didn't even notice Peter sit down at the table. Her backside was turned, staring lustfully at the table behind her. The place where Wade and his friends sat.

"It seems like I've known Wade my entire life." She murmured. "At the party, I am going to ask him out."

"I've been waiting for this moment since I could remember." She continued. "He's so alpha isn't he? I bet he's perfect relationship material."

Peter turned towards Wade's table and noticed him staring at Flash with a bored expression on his face. The blond was babbling on about something that Wade looked like he couldn't give two shits about.

"Yeah." Peter said. "He seems nice."

MJ turned her head and stared down at Peter. "What?" She asked.

"I mean..." Peter trailed off nervously. "He seems like... an um... really nice guy y'know? And I'm sure that he is... perfect relationship material... for-"

"Just stop talking." MJ rolled her eyes.

"Okay." Peter murmured.

_**Buzz** _

_**Buzz** _

_**Buzz** _

Peter checked his phone curiously when he realized he got a text message. Strange, he hadn't given his phone number to anyone except for Gwen , and she was lost inside one of her textbooks, and MJ.

He checked the number. Random, the series of numbers weren't saved to his contact list.

**"Heyaa baby boy." The message read.**

_Of course Wade somehow got his number._

_Not that he cared, Ofcourse not. Wade only got it from someone else for school work. Just in case he needed homework... nothing more, nothing less._

_Peter didn't want to himself._

He turned his head to see Wade holding his phone in his hands. His hazel eyes stared right at Peter for a couple seconds before letting out a quick wink and a friendly smile.

"Gwen!" MJ squeaked, whipping her face to face her blonde friend. "Did you see that?! Wade winked at me!"

Peter ducked his head down and broke eye contact with Wade. This must've been a big joke. Wade was simply having fun. After all, everyone else in the school liked doing that too.

Peter was... Peter. Who his parents were and his condition peaked an interest into of him and his life from the other students. They loved to gawk at him and ask questions about his life for fun. Why wouldn't Wade do it too? He locked his phone and placed it face down, ignoring Wilson's message.

_**Buzz** _

_**Buzz** _

_**Buzz** _

When MJ whipped her head around to Peter, it looked like flames as angry as her engulfed her face. "Aren't you going to get that?" She asked, annoyed.

"Yeah...Sorry.." Peter murmured.

He really didn't want to. The more he hung out with Wade, the more he knew he would grow to like him even though he knew he probably shouldn't. How could he?

Wade was... Wade. The soul embodiment of a god. Everything Peter knew he wasn't. The hazel eyed boy was too perfect to actually have something going on with Peter. The brunette felt like Wade could do so much better with someone else.

In all honesty, Peter felt like he was the embodiment of a potato sack. He wasn't attractive or athletic.

He was just Peter.

Nothing more, but maybe less.

**"Stop ignoring my messages."**

**"Pleaseeeeee."**

**"I see you."**

**"H"**

**"E"**

**"Y"**

**"B"**

**"A"**

**"B"**

**"Y"**

**"B"**

**"O"**

**"Y"**

**"How did you get my number?" Peter finally texted back.**

**"I asked MJ for it and she gladly gave it to me. She's nice, isn't she?" Wade replied.**

Peter knew that if he wanted to suppress everything he had for Wade, he had to resist.

**"Are you here to interrogate me?"**

**"Did little red tell you about my party?"**

**"Yeah, thanks for the offer, but I'm not going."**

**"Why not? I can tell that you're basically a highschool virgin. You have to experience at least _one_ party."**

**"And I feel like it should be mine."**

_'Because... I don't want to like you.'_

**"I have more important things to do."**

**"Like mope around all alone at home?"**

Peter rolled his eyes.

**"Yep, moping is apart of my daily schedule. Have fun at your party. Not going."**

Wade's series of messages hesitated. But Peter could feel his gaze still locked onto his backside.

**"You're friends with MJ, right?"**

_'More or less.'_

**"Obviously."**

**"She's only allowed to come if you come. Can't you see how excited she is for this party? You wouldn't want to let her down, right?"**

**"Just say yes, baby boy."**

**"We can stay together, just you and I. Don't worry, we'll have fun."** **Wade texted.**

_'Fucking hell'_

**"Stop using MJ to get to me." Peter replied.**

**"Is that a yes?"**

**"Fine."**

Peter was ninety percent sure Wade was smiling from his seat across the cafeteria. 

**"Dress nice. <3 "**

_'Fuck off.'_

Peter remembered the last time someone told him to ' _Dress nice._ ' He ended up hiding every inch of his skin for months. He wore long sleeves and long pants all the time, even when the warmer weather was quickly approaching. He was too scared to tell his parents what was really happening when that sick pervert, Westcott, came over whenever they went out.

 ****Gwen's voice ripped Peter away from his phone. "Are you okay? You look kind of pale."

"Oh, yeah..." Peter shrugged. "I'm fine.."

"What happened?" She asked.

"My Dad.." Peter lied. " I asked him about the party this Friday..."

The word "Party" snapped MJ's attention towards him. "You're not going, are you?" She asked. Her voice sounded almost pleading. Peter felt that deep down, she knew that Wade was paying more attention to him than her.

The words that soon left Peter's mouth looked like they made MJ's heart shatter and then quickly get put back together with thick threads of jealousy.

_"I changed my mind." He whispered. "I am going to Wade's party."_


	3. All Was Golden In The Sky

**Friday Morning**

Peter waited until the day of the party to ask his parents if he could go. He felt guilty for dumping the question on them last minute, but it didn't matter that much anyway. They were going to say ' _no_ ' Considering how cautious they are about sending him to school, let alone, allowing him to walk home.

He took a deep breath in as he traveled down the stairs. "Morning." He greeted.

"Hey kiddo," Tony chimed from the kitchen, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"Morning, Pete," Steve said, briefly looking up from some work related things on his phone.

The angsty teen cleared his throat, gathering up enough confidence to ask his parents that question that had been on his mind all week.

_'Just ask them, the worst they can do is say no.'_

"I have something to ask the both of you, I'm sorry for dumping it on you last minute.."

A pair of brown and blue eyes focused on Peter's figure.

"You okay?" Steve asked hesitantly.

_'How come every time I try to talk to them, they think that something is wrong with me?'_

"Yeah, yeah..I'm fine.." Peter trailed off. "I just wanted to...umm... let you guys know... that umm.."

_'Just say it, dammit.'_

"I got invited to a party...tonight."

Peter bit his bottom lip and stared at his parents. Tony had a disapproving look plastered on his face. The piecing eyes made him feel uncomfortable. He already knew what one of the answers would be.

But Steve had a small smirk on his face. His eyes had a hint of happiness and satisfaction in them.

"Sure, why not?" He said.

Tony's depression was a simple frown as he stared down at Peter. "No! Absolutely not!" He exclaimed.

Steve and Tony turned their heads to stare at one another.

"He isn't ready for this kinda stuff yet!" Stark argued. "He's just a kid!

Tony turned his expression towards Peter with a worried look on his face. "And you've only known these kids for about a week..." He said, trying to keep his voice calm. "I don't think you're ready for this yet."

_'No, of course not.'_

The blond placed his phone down, giving his full attention to his worried husband. "He's in high school now, he deserves to experience these kinds of things."

"He knows what he should, and shouldn't do, Tony." He reassured him. "We both trust him and we know he will be fine."

Tony turned towards Peter, defeat evident in his eyes.

"Who's hosting the party?" He asked. "Where is it?"

"I don't know yet, I-" Peter tried, but he was cut off by more of Tony's countless questions.

"Who is going to be with you?" He continued frantically. "Are there any drugs?"

"Will there be alcohol?"

"Wh-" Tony tried, but his lips became occupied with warm plush lips from Rogers.

"Stop worrying so much.." He kissed, "He knows how to handle himself. Peter will be just fine."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

Peter was almost late for school because Tony made him write down the first name, last name, and phone numbers of all the people he would be with at the party. Peter only knew two people that would be there, Gwen and MJ. He had Wade's number, but if Peter came home ten minutes late, he would not want his dad calling Wade of all people asking for him.

That would be embarrassing.

Peter didn't want to write the names and phone numbers, to him it was a waste of time. 

But he knew better than to question his father's motives.

When their car pulled up into the school lot, Tony still had a couple of more things to get off of his chest before Peter could flee to the inside of the school.

"Text me when you get there." He commanded. "And if anything happens or if you want to come home, just call me."

"I understand," Peter said.

"If anyone offers you any type of alcohol or drugs, you let me know as soon as possible, alright?"

"I got it."

"Call me when you're leaving... and let me know who you're leaving with."

"I know..."

"Remember, your curfew is-" Tony tried, but Peter interrupted him.

"Ten thirty," Peter said. "Not a minute later, you already told me this."

"All I need you to do is promise me you'll be safe, please?

"I promise." Peter gave him a reassuring smiled. "I'll be safe."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

The school day was slow and boring, But by lunch time, Peter was already dreading the last period of the day.

_Biology._

_With Wade_.

"Are you guys excited for the party?" MJ asked, smiling. 

"Not really." Gwen and Peter said hypnotically.

They both let out a small laugh at each other's unamusement.

"You know, Peter." MJ grimaced, furrowing her brows. Her voice was innocent and friendly, but Peter knew what she _really_ felt."You don't have to come."

_'I'm only doing it for you. ~~and to see Wade~~.'_

Peter's face fell into a frown. "It would be nice, I guess. To get out of the house for once, even if it's for a couple hours."

"Are you sure you're even feeling up for it?"

_'Another person doubting me based on my health.'_

"Yeah, I feel fine." Peter shrugged off the hurt.

Red continued staring Peter down. "It's just that, y'know.. we wouldn't want an ambulance to show up cause you had an asthma attack or something." She said, wrinkling her nose.

"It's not-" But before Peter could respond, his phone started vibrating on the table.

** New Notification from: that cute weirdo from biology **

**"You look sexy today."**

Peter's heart raced in his chest. He hunched his shoulders to make himself look smaller, but it wasn't working out very well. It was like he could _still_ feel Wade's piercing eyes scanning him up and down.

Peter tried not to let Wade's remark get to him. 

It was hard not to.

  
He was wearing an oversized Stark industries sweat-shirt with jeans. There was absolutely nothing "sexy" about his attire.

**"Could you please stop staring at me?" Peter replied.**

**"Why? I'd rather look at you than Flash any day."**

**"Why?"**

**"Because" Wade answered.**

**"???"**

**"Because I think that you look amazing. All the time."**

**"Lying is a sin," Peter replied.**

**"I don't sin."**

Peter closed his eyes as he felt the color rise up to his cheeks. He took a couple deep breaths in keep himself from smiling. He was grateful he had the hood on to hide his face. He knew that if Wade same him smile, he wouldn't hear the end of it in biology.

It was a nice compliment, one he didn't hear often. Most compliments relating to his appearance were from doctors or nurses when he was younger.

They usually said, " _Wow!_   _You're_ _looking_ _better already!_ "

Peter interpreted it as, " _Wow!_   _You_ _almost_ _look_ _like_ _you're_ _not_ _dying_ _of_ _cancer!_ "

They were slightly awkward about it, but Peter accepted it anyway.

Sometimes when Peter was walking through the hallways alone, Wade would show up and surprise him. In the beginning, Peter tried to ignore him, but it was hard to tune out the never ending rambling. Eventually, Peter thought he might as well continue the conversation. 

It was kind of nice having someone to talk to. 

But Peter knew that they could never actually be friends.

Because Wade was friends with people like Flash.

And Flash hated Peter, it was obvious from the first time they met.

So Wade probably had a resentment for him also.

Or he only pretended to act like Peter's friend as a joke.

The thought practically ruined his mood. At first, he thought of Wade to be somewhat annoying. But he realized that Wade's company wasn't as bad as he thought it was. He couldn't believe it, but it seemed like Wade was starting to grow on him.

_Just a tiny bit._

"Pete, you okay?" Gwen asked, putting a hand on his shoulder. "It looks like you're having a panic attack."

_'I wish I was.'_

"Sorry..." He shook his head "it's nothing."

MJ's eyes shifted over towards Wade's table. She could feel her heart drop and her chest sink when she saw Wade looking over at her table, but not at her. It was like he was looking right at Peter.

It was as if... Wade actually took the time to notice Peter? 

That was so unfair, what the hell? MJ had known Wade for years and he had never looked at her like that. Now, Peter comes out of nowhere and Wade looks at him like they were... friends?

_'Peter has only been here for one fucking week.'_

MJ cleared her throat, turning towards Peter. "Peter." She said annoyed. "I think it's a very bad idea that you go to Wade's party tonight."

She saw the brunette turn towards her in confusion. "Why?" He asked. "Is something wrong?"

"You know Peter, As a..." She hesitated, trying to find the right word, practically forcing it out of her mouth. " _Friend_... I don't think that you should go."

"I'm concerned for you." She lied. "What if you get hurt? Or you feel sick?"

"Umm... Well..." He mumbled out. "I am okay."

"And if I end up not feeling well at the party... I can just ask my dad to pick me up."

"But thanks." He smiled genuinely. For once, Peter felt like maybe MJ and him were actually becoming friends. He thought that she was telling him this because she must really care about his well being. "You're such a good friend." He said.

How sweet.

MJ let out a fake smile. "Of course." She choked out. "Just watching out for you, friend."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

"Are you just going to ignore me for the rest of my life?" Wade asked.

Seventh-period Biology. The students had a substitute today, so it was basically a free period.  

"If I have to." Peter murmured.

They couldn't be friends.

No, it was impossible.

Wade scooted closer and wrapped his arm around Peter's waist, nudging him gently. "How about... I properly introduce myself to you. I'm not that bad when you get to know me."

"I'm an Aquarius..." He said.  "I love long walks on the beach and blueberry pie. What about you?"

_'It seemed like this kid never, ever stopped talking.'_

_Not that he minded... he had a nice voice._

The brunette tried to squirm out of Wade's hold, but it wasn't working out very well. It seemed like his grip only became tighter and tighter the more he tried to struggle. "Look, I... don't want to talk to you, please just-"

"Hi, I don't want to talk you, my name is Wade Wilson."

Peter turned his head to face Wade. His bright smile was gleaming, showing off his pearly whites. His hazel eyes were glistening at Peter's in such a playful manner.

"Do you ever stop talking?" Peter asked, squinting his eyes.

"Well... no, not really," Wade said as a sly smile rose to the corners of his mouth. "But I can do whatever you want me to do... All you have to do is ask..." 

Peter shook his head and turned it back to his work. He didn't have time for this, no never. He didn't know what game Wade was trying to play.

The brunette couldn't tell if Wade actually liked him or not.

Maybe he did... just a little bit?

Unlikely.

It made the brunette happy with the thought of him actually being liked by someone else. He immediately shook his head, trying his best to hide the stupid grin attempting to form on his face with the thought.

Maybe Wade and him could be friends... maybe. He didn't have to be in his "Circle" like MJ said. But them actually being in a relationship and dating... was _extremely_ unlikely.

Wade leaned his head in closer, his voice joyous and humorous. "Are you excited for my party?"

The potential smile faded off of Peter's face when he thought about it. A high school party. With a bunch of older kids, prettier people, more social people who have done this a thousand times before.

And then there was him.

Who had never been to a party before.

Well, besides the birthday parties that just consisted of him and his parents. But those don't count.

"No," Peter said flatly. "Not really."

"I can hear your heart beating from here." He whispered. "You're not nervous, are you?"

Peter let out a fake scoff. "Of course not." He lied. "It's just a party."

"You've never been to one have you?" Wade asked. Moving his mouth closer to Peter's ear. He could feel his warm breath caress his cheek and travel down his neck.

It took all of Peter's self contol to move his head away from the other teen. "I have.." He lied. "Definitely..."

Wade stared at Peter for a couple seconds before moving his head away. "What ever you say, baby boy."

After that, it was silent for a while. Wade Wilson had finally shut his mouth. Not because he ran out of things to say. It was because he was waiting.

_He was waiting to see if Peter noticed._

_His arm was still wrapped protectively around his baby boy's tiny waist._

Peter noticed. But he didn't say anything.

He didn't want Wade to let go. He just wanted to pretend that he found someone that actually liked him for him. It was evident that Peter was sick, anyone with eyes could tell. But whenever Wade looked at him, he didn't stare at the cannula, he kept his gaze right on Peter's brown eyes. 

"You don't..." Peter asked hesitantly. "Actually like me... do you?"

"Of course I like you..." Wade blurted. Then he paused for a couple seconds, biting his bottom lip. "You seem like a great... umm... friend."

_Peter didn't think it was possible to hear the sound of your own heart breaking._

At least the brunette knew he could still pretend.

So they stayed like that until the end of the period. Neither of them minded, not really.

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

After school, Peter followed Gwen to her house. He didn't need to go back home and change because there was no need. He didn't have a whole circle of friends to take pictures with. He didn't think he had anyone to look good for.

"Are you sure I can do this?" Peter asked shyly. "I don't want to intrude..."

"It's fine, don't worry about it." Gwen smiled. "You can help me get ready."

Peter let out a small laugh. "I obviously know nothing about fashion." Considering he just pulls out whatever still fits. As long as it looks decent and his parents don't say anything, it was fine to him.  

"I'm going to need your opinion on what to wear." She said. "Don't worry, it's really easy."

Once they approached Gwen's front door. Peter closed his eyes and tried to calm his breathing. He could feel the anxiety sweep through his blood stream, giving him the urge to faint. It wasn't like school, where he could hide in the bathroom or escape to an empty classroom to hide. He was inside of her house. There's no way that he could avoid stares or endless questions.

Gwen pulled out her house key and unlocked the door. When they entered, Peter saw a small, but cozy apartment with light blue walls. Numerous photos of Gwen and, what Peter guessed, her two younger brothers in their younger years hung on the walls in various places.

"Mom, I'm home!" Gwen called.

A blonde woman that had similar features to her came from one of the other rooms. She embraced her daughter into a hug as she kissed her forehead. "Hey, sweetie." She said.

She turned her bright green eyes towards the scrawny brunette. "You must be Peter." She smiled. "Gwen has told me so much and It's  great to finally meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too," Peter said.

"Are you two hungry?" She asked. "There's some leftover branzino from the night before."

"We also have some rice and beans with vegetables. We have some corn, broccoli, and cauliflower, do you like those? Because if you don't I can make some different ones." 

"Oh... umm... you don't... you don't have to do that... those are fine... I-"

"Okay, great!" She said. "There's also fruit in the fridge and we have some snacks inside of the closet."

"Thank you, but I'm not very-"

"You two go upstairs and I'll prepare some food for you guys."

Gwen nudged her mother's shoulder and shook her head slightly. ' _Don't_.' She mouthed.

And that's when it happened.

The older woman's eyes flooded with pity as they looked at Peter's nasal cannula. Each second felt like an eternity as her eyes slowly trailed downwards towards his oxygen tank. Her once bright features washed over with sympathy for the young boy.

"Right..." She murmured. "I'm sorry."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

"Do you like this dress?" Gwen asked. It was a flowy, navy blue gown that stopped at her knees.

"It looks beautiful on you," Peter said. But he wasn't really paying attention to Gwen's endless dress collection. His mind was focused on the atypical love triangle between Wade, MJ, and him. He knew Wade wasn't going to leave him alone during that party.

Even at lunch when Wade was simply looking at him, MJ got skeptical. If she saw him and Wade at the party even talking Peter knows that she would get so upset.

That's the last thing he would want, MJ's night to be ruined. They were friends. And friends don't do that to one another.  

Gwen slumped her shoulders. "You've said that about every dress I've shown you."

"What's wrong, Pete?" She asked. "I thought you would seem happier about all of this."

_'A lot of things are wrong with me.'_

"Nothing's wrong, I'm fine."

Gwen sat down next to Peter on the floor at the foot of her bed. She wrapped her arm around his neck, pulling him in closer. "You look like you're facing an internal dilemma all the time.

"Like there are thousands of thoughts flying around in your head. I'm your friend and I only want to help. Just tell me one of them, please?"

Peter sighed. He could, he should tell Gwen. She was one of the nicest people he had ever met, and he trusted her. "It's about the party." He mumbled.

"What about it?" She asked. "If you changed your mind about going, I can drop you home." 

"No, it's not that... Please don't tell anyone about this, okay?" Peter begged.

"Okay," Gwen promised.

"Wade told me that if I don't go to his party, then MJ won't be able to come..." Peter explained. "She was really looking forward to this... and I don't want to be the one to take her happiness away."

"Oh...wow okay..." She paused, her voice lowered as she was deep in thought.

But Gwen didn't care about MJ's feelings for Wade, not really.

Her features were brightened the tiniest bit, lighting up the entire room. "He likes you, doesn't he?" She asked. 

"Unlikely.." Peter muttered."I'm pretty sure he's just doing it cause he's Wade.. and he's unpredictable.."

"I bet the whole school is going anyway." Peter continued. 

"Or," Gwen said in a matter of fact time. "He totally has a thing for you."

"If he did..." Peter trailed off. "Why didn't he simply ask me to come?"

"He had MJ give him my number and made her ask me if I wanted to go."

Gwen shook her head. "Maybe he was too nervous to ask you himself?"

"Do you like him?" She asked.

_'A little bit...'_

"No." Peter scoffed. 

"Why? Did he say something?" He blurted. It was like a tiny fire ignited in his chest... maybe his heart wasn't broken after all-

_____________________

_"Ofcourse I like you... you seem like a great friend."_

_____________________

' _Nope.'_

"Right..." She rolled her eyes playfully. "Just talk to him at the party and sort out all of your hormones there."

"And MJ?" Peter asked.

Gwen shrugged. "She's a big girl, she can handle a little heartbreak."

She nudged his shoulder. "Most people show up uninvited, but to have Wade Wilson ask you to come..." She raised her eyebrows. "That definitely means something."

Peter pondered on the thought.

Maybe it did mean something.

_And deep down, he kind of hoped it did._

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

Gwen borrowed her mother's car to pick MJ up from her house. She was way overdressed compared to Gwen.

The red haired teen wore a long, white gown that had a large "V" cut opening which exposed the majority of her chest, her hair was styled in wavy curls that stopped right at the shoulders, and her eye make up was light but still very noticeable.

"How do I look?" She asked, getting into the back seat. "Is this good?"

Gwen put her foot on the pedal and began driving. "You look fine..." She said. "But don't you think your dress is... a little too much?"

MJ scoffed. "There's no such thing as being overdressed for Wade. He will appreciate that I took the time to look this nice for him."

"MJ, this isn't actually a date... it's a casual party.."

MJ ignored her friend's remark as her eyes traveled towards Peter. He was staring out of the window solemnly, thinking about how he was going to talk to Wade just like Gwen said. He will get his hormones in check and he will finally find out if Wade feels the same way-

"Hey, string bean," MJ said, snapping her ruby red nails to get his attention.

"Oh, huh?"

"You're wearing _that_?" She asked, her voice sour.

Peter looked down at his clothes. There was nothing wrong with them. They were casual. And even if, it didn't matter. He didn't think he had anyone to look good for anyway.

"Whats wrong with my outfit?" He asked.

"Didn't you wear that to school today?" She asked. "You can't wear that out to a party! Especially Wade's party! Haven't you ever been to one before?"

"Um, no," Peter said. "This is my first."

MJ rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. "Oh, my Christ..." She murmured.

"Oh..umm..sorry?" He apologized.

"Just don't do anything stupid." She said. "And _don't_ say that you came with me." 

"Okay," Peter replied back.

"And for the love of god, try not to die." She said. "I don't want the party to end early."

"Alright." Peter nodded. "I'll try my best."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

  
When the trio arrived, the party had already begun. The driveway of Wade's mansion home was packed with dozens of other cars.  
Peter lifted his oxygen tank and slung it on one of his shoulders as he and his friends walked up the stairs. He could feel himself already sweating as they approached the front door.

_'It's okay... just find a couch to sit down on...don't talk to anyone, don't look at anyone... everything will be okay.'_

Before Gwen could even reach the door bell, the door shot open. And there he was.

Wade fucking Wilson.

Peter looked away towards the grass below his feet. He didn't want the color to rush to his face when he made eye contact with Wade, once again. He didn't want to give someone who may not even like him that satisfaction.

"Hey guys." He said casually. "I'm so glad you made it."

MJ essentially pushed her way in front of Gwen, emphasizing her chest as much as possible.

"Why wouldn't we come?" She asked. "It's great to see you again. I would love to spend some time with you tonight."

Wade wasn't really paying attention to what MJ was on about. His eyes were scanning behind her and Gwen for him.

His baby boy.

"Is... Peter here?" He said casually.

When MJ's confident features turned down into a small frown, Gwen's lips curled up into a grin that said 'I told you so.'

They both scooted towards the left and opened up the field of view for Peter.

His shoulders were slumped as he was standing silently, eventually making weak eye contact with Wade. "Hi there." He said, trying to sound indifferent.

' _Don't smile.'_

_'Don't smile.'_

_'Don't smile.'_

"Hey there," Wade said, Flashing him a nice grin. The look on Wilson's face made Peter's insides warm up, but he wouldn't actually admit that to himself. "I'm surprised you came to my humble home... I thought you were super busy tonight.

"Well..." Peter said, biting his bottom lip. "I... had a last minute change of plans."

"Oh?" Wade asked. "So... you're not going to mope alone tonight?"

Peter tried and failed, to keep the smile off of his face. But he couldn't no matter how hard he tried. "Nope... Not tonight anyway."

It was silent between the two for a couple moments before Wade spoke up. His voice was a sly whisper that came from his lips smoothly. "I'm counting on that." He whispered.

When Peter broke his eye contact with Wade, that's when Wilson acknowledged the existence of the other two people standing right in front of him. "You ladies are free to go inside and enjoy the party." He said.

Peter kept his eyes towards the pretty flowers in the grass. He didn't even want to think what MJ's expression was.

Red cleared her throat and stepped in front of Wade's view of Peter. "How about you show me around?" She asked. When Peter looked upwards at her, she was practically breathing on him.

She intertwined her hands with his and was practically shoving him inside of his own home. "Come on..." She whispered. "Just for a couple of minutes."

"Well, MJ..." Wade trailed off awkwardly. "Maybe that's not the best-"

But he was interrupted by a pair of ruby red lips that pressed themselves onto his. "Let's go..." she murmured. "Just dance with me for a little while..."

' _That kinda hurt. Just the tiniest bit.'_

Wade quickly pulled away, chuckling nervously. He wiped the red lipstick off of his lip with the back of his hand. "I should probably show Peter around..." He said. "He's practically a high school virgin... I should spend a couple minutes around with him."

MJ turned and gave Peter another sour look before turning back to Wade. "He is a big boy, he can take care of himself." She said quickly.

Gwen was holding in her laughter with Peter. He liked MJ, don't get him wrong, but she wanted Wade so badly that it made him uncomfortable.

Poor Wade.

"Yeah... it's fine." He laughed. "I'll find my way around."

"Now..." MJ smiled, her lips only inches away from Wade's face. "Come on inside and show me what a good time looks like."

Wade narrowed his eyes at Peter. The brunette couldn't tell who he was more annoyed with, him or MJ.

' _This isn't over'_ he mouthed.

  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

At a party, everyone knows that one asocial loser who locks themselves inside of the bathroom to avoid everyone else.

That loner was Peter.

He had been hiding inside of the upstairs bathroom for one hour, seven minutes, and forty-eight seconds

Forty-nine.

Fifty.

It didn't start out with him brooding in one of the bathrooms. In the beginning, he was like a lost puppy following Gwen. She was talking and laughing while introducing Peter to some of her other friends. It was nerve wrecking attempting to keep a conversation with people he barely knew. He didn't want to say the wrong thing, so he was silent. Nodding along with everyone else.

It was nice. Peter could deal with it. But, His mind kept wandering to Wade and MJ. He wondered where they were, and what a "Good time" meant. Eventually, after sitting for a while, Peter decided to stretch his legs and explore Wade's house for a little bit.

He didn't know how much of a mistake he was making.

He had only been walking around for about five minutes until he felt something cold drench the side of his body. When he turned his head, he saw MJ, holding an empty cup in her hand.

She apologized half-heartedly, saying that she "Didn't see him there." And that it was an "accident."

The left side of Peter's Stark Industries sweatshirt was soaked with the foul smelling beverage that made his nostrils burn. The liquid seeped into the left side his pants, causing the fabric to stick to his skin. He was pretty sure the excess drink dripping from his pants was going to his shoes.

It wouldn't have been too bad if only MJ was there. But Flash and some other jocks happened to be right next to her during the entire thing. When they were all laughing and pointing at him, Peter actually wanted to curl up and die. He had never been this embarrassed in his entire life. It made him feel smaller than he already was when he was looking up at them.

He could only imagine how pathetic he looked.

So here he was now.

Inside of the upstairs bathroom sitting on the toilet seat in silence. Once he tried to get a towel to dry himself, he got a good smell of the drink MJ spilled all over him.

It was alcohol.

Fucking great.

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

Eventually, Peter found his way outside. Someone else needed to use the bathroom he was hiding inside of. The brunette still wasn't ready to go back to the party so, he went to the only place where he could be alone.

Outdoors on the steps in front of Wade's home. Inside was getting hot and stuffy anyway, he was better off outside before he had even more trouble breathing than usual.

When he looked behind him, he saw the shadows of people dancing, the bright lights shining through the window, and people sitting down and actually talking to one another.

Peter wished that he could be like them.

They were all having fun. It seemed as if they were all enjoying themselves. They were living their lives.

Everyone else didn't have to worry about lugging an oxygen tank with them everywhere they went, they didn't have to worry about looks of pity being thrown their way, or if people would come up to them, asking about their parents and their life.

All of them were healthy.

They were actually normal.

Peter didn't know why he thought that coming to Wade's party was a good idea. How could he ever expect himself to "mingle" with everyone else and actually make friends?

" _Stupid stupid stupid stupid."_ He murmured to himself. The palms of his hands were pressed to his eyes so he could keep the tears that were threatening to fall out, in.

' _Stupid life.'_

_'Stupid cancer.'_

_'Stupid me.'_

What was he actually expecting to happen? People like him don't experience these types of things because people like him weren't actually living.

He was like a time bomb. His life was pretty straight forward. Right, when he was about to go off, the doctors would buy him some more time with their surgeries and their treatments, but it wasn't a cure.

All it did was reset the time on the bomb.

But one day, the doctors won't be able to reset the time again. And eventually, he will go off, destroying everything and ruining everyone in his wake.

His life was a waiting game.

He wasn't expected to live past ten.

That was proved wrong.

He made a bet when he was fourteen that he wouldn't live past twenty.

On days like this, he hopes he's right.

He hated himself so fucking much. Because of him being the way he was, he sucked the life out of everyone around him. His parents didn't get to have a "normal" marriage and have a "normal" family because of him having to get cancer at such a young age. Instead of baseball games and family vacations, it was hospital visits and grief counseling.

Every bad thing that had ever happened to everyone around him is all of his fault. Some days, he wondered why he was even here.

What was the upside of him being alive If he wasn't able to enjoy his life?

"I thought I would find you moping — whoa, are you okay?"

Peter would recognize that voice anywhere. He was even more embarrassed when he realized that Wade found him crying out here.

The brunette felt Wade's warm body take a seat on the right side of his. An arm wrapped around Peter's shoulder, pulling him closer. "You're crying," Wade said.

"Yeah..." Peter sniffled. Wiping the excess tears that fell from his face. "I guess I am."

"What's wrong?"

' _About everything.'_

"Nothing." Peter murmured. "I just... shouldn't of come here. This was a bad idea."

"D-Did something happen?" Wade asked.

Peter removed his hands from his eyes and placed them on his lap. He was fiddling with his fingernails so he would find something to look at other than Wade's face.

He was going to be upfront and honest now about his feelings, after all, he didn't have anything else to lose. His last shred of dignity and self-esteem was ripped away by MJ and Flash.

"Do you..." Peter began. "Like me, Wade?"

Wade hesitated for a few seconds before answering Peter question. "What do you mean by like you?"

The brunette looked up and met Wade's eyes. The other male looked a little worried and scared for Peter like he genuinely cared about how he was feeling, not who he was.

"I mean..." Peter hesitated. "Like... two people in a relationship..."

Wade's face went blank as he turned his gaze away from Peter. The brunette felt more tears slide down his eyes, of course, Wade didn't like him in the way he had liked him. Why would he?

' _Stupid stupid stupid stupid.'_

He managed to embarrass himself in more ways than one in less than one day. Now, the friendship he had with Wade was now ruined.

Wade was going to hate him too like everyone else did.

But not as much as he already hated himself.

"I'll answer your question... if you give me a kiss."

Peter turned toward wade in confusion, wiping some of the tears away from blurring his vision.

"What?" He sniffled.

"Well..." Wade said. "You asked me if I liked you in a relationship way..."

"And in order to give you an answer, I need to know if you're a good kisser or not."

Peter's entire body froze as he stared at Wade in the eye. He didn't look like he was joking. He was dead serious.

"Umm." Peter mustered. He could feel his heart beat thumping his chest, causing his body to tremble more than it already was. And he was confident that his face was completely red by now. Wade actually liked him that way he wanted him to?

"Can I kiss you?' Wade asked, smiling.

Peter couldn't say anything. He didn't know how to respond.

"I'll take your silence as a yes."

The other male leaned his head in closer towards Peter's. Their lips were only centimeters apart before Peter finally spoke up.

"Wait... wait..." He said, panicking. Stopping Wade in his tracks.

"I've... I've never done this before." Peter admitted. He hadn't kissed anyone on the lips, ever.

"That's okay." Wade shrugged him off. "Stay very still and then follow my lead, alright?"

The brunette's heart fell silent as the only thing he focused on was the breaths coming from his lips, and the ones coming from Wade's. He had to hold his hands in his lap to keep them from shaking uncontrollably.

And then it happened.

Wade's lips felt softer than he thought they would be. It began very gently, then they slowly consumed his. Peter was still for a little while before finally understanding what Wade meant by following his lead.

Eventually, Peter came out of his small shell. Gradually, his lips went through the same motion as Wade's. It got easier and felt much better than Peter thought it ever would.

This what being in love felt like?

When Wade pulled away, Peter was staring right at him. Not saying a word. He couldn't believe that it actually happened.

Wade looked at him and smiled. And his warm grin put the same look on Peter's face too.

"You're not bad for your first time," Wade admitted. "But you could use some extra practice..."

"Do you want to try again?"

Peter didn't even respond as he was the one to press his lips onto Wade's.

_As they kept practicing again,_

_And again,_

_And again._

  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

Tony was still awake getting some work done at the dining room table when he heard his son walk through the door.

**10:30 PM**

"Hi, Dad." Peter greeted him. "I'm here on time."

"And in one piece."

Peter's father abruptly stood up, walking closer towards his son. He put both of his hands the brunette's shoulder as he pulled him into a big hug. When he pulled away, he was scanning his son up and down to see if anything was wrong.

"How was it? Are you okay?"

' _Why does everyone seem to think there's something wrong with me?'_

"Yeah," Peter said. "I'm great. The party was okay, not what I imagined, but it wasn't too terrible."

"That's good." He said. " I'm glad you're-"

Tony stopped abruptly when he felt Peter's wet shoulder. He didn't even have to bring his hand towards his nose when he smelled the all too familiar substance.

Alcohol.

"Peter," Tony said, trying to keep his voice level. 'Why is there... alcohol on you?"

"I can explain-"

"Please tell me... you did not... consume any alcohol."

"I didn't... someone accidentally spilled their drink on me. I didn't have any, I promise."

"Okay..." Tony said, believing his son. "Okay..."

"Head upstairs and change into something that doesn't smell like cheap alcohol, alright?" He said. "We can talk tomorrow morning over breakfast.

Peter smiled. "Goodnight dad.'

"Goodnight. Sleep well, kiddo."

As the brunette went up the stairs to his room, a smile crept onto his face when he looked at the latest message on his phone.

It was from Wade.

**"I really liked kissing you."**

As Peter sat on his bed and kicked off his shoes, he replied to Wade's message.

**"Well... it was good for me too."**

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

It happened so suddenly.

It was going too fast.

All Peter remembered was going to sleep after a much needed warm shower. Then, his eyes shooting open as there was an unbearable amount of pain in his head and a pressure weighing his chest down. Each breath was more painful than the other, bringing more and more tears in his eyes the longer he stayed in his bed.

It took every ounce of strength he had in his body to get out of bed. He was wobbling towards the staircase, trying his best not to fall over and collapse. He followed his disoriented senses because he didn't know where he was, the hallway was pitch black.

When he was halfway down the stairs, Peter's eyes, blurry with tears, focused on his father who was still getting his work done. A strong, agonizing grip was tightening Peter's neck and chest as he tried to form words.

"D-Dad... dad... I..." Peter barely whispered. Wheezes and stutters escaped his lips as he tried to talk, but all stimuli made him feel even worse.

Tony turned his attention from his computer to his son. Once he saw Peter, his eyes widened as he abruptly shot up, running towards him. "Peter?" He asked, frantically. "Peter? What's going on?"

"I... I... can't... I can't... br-breathe..."

Dizziness overwhelmed Peter's vision. He let out a quiet groan as his limbs felt weak, causing his hand to slip. With a split second, he collapsed down the stair case, landing on the marble floor with a loud bang. The blunt force traveled through out his body like shock waves of pure agony that made him cry out in pain and curl his body up into a ball.

Eventually, the pain in his chest was so intense that the feeling in all of his limbs went away. He couldn't feel his arms or his legs.

He couldn't move.

Ripping, burning, splitting, and pressuring all at the same time. His lung felt like large hands were tearing his chest open with an unmeasurable amount of strength, and then squeezing it with all of its force. Restraining any and all movement in his breaths, leaving Peter in a twitching, spazzing mess in which he prayed for death.

Dreamed of it.

Anything for release.

Tony rushed over to his son's body and held his upper torso in his hands.

"STEVE!" He yelled the tears fell down his face, mixing with Peter's. "GET DOWN HERE!"

His voice softened into a soothing whisper when he turned his attention back to his son. "Kiddo... I need you to stay with me, alright?"

' _Please... just let me die...'_

_'I'm tired of hurting so much...'_

"Peter!" Tony raised his voice, placing his hand on the side of the brunette's face. "I need you to keep your eyes open."

"Listen to me...I know it hurts... I know you're hurting but I need you to stay awake... please... please..." Tony pleaded. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he lost Peter. In fact, he probably wouldn't be able to live at all.

"H-Hurts..." Peter wheezed. "I... can't..."

"You're not going to die... not here... not now..." Tony cried. "Just focus on my voice, okay?"

"Stay with me..."

 _'I_ _love you so so much, Dad.'_

"PETER!"

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

The broken words and heavy wheezes turned into soul piercing screams as a gurney containing Peter's body was being dragged through the never ending hospital hallways.

Peter blacked out every couple of seconds, it was impossible to focus on anything else besides trying to keep his screams in. His corneas were burning due to the bright lights that shone above him. Tony and Steve were holding each of his hands, running with the doctors and the nurses by his side.

Peter stared hazily above him. It was hard to focus, it was impossible to concentrate on anything. It was like he was underwater. All of the voices were muffled around his him as his vision became cloudy. Everything above him was a blur of colors.

And then he stopped moving.

Two of the blurs were being pushed away from him by a different colored blur.

"... respiratory... blockage... effusion..." a voice said.

"Starting... 3...1..."

Peter let out a gut wrenching scream.

A large needle made its way through his chest, forcefully piercing through the layers of skin and muscle. The sharp object sent a cold fluid that seeped its way into his body, filling him up with a cold liquid that put him into a deep sleep.

As Peter slowly drifted away, the pain began to subside.

The rims of his eyes faded as a deathly embrace consumed his surroundings.

Peter always expected there to be light at the end of all of this.

After all of his years of suffering, where was his happy ending?

Where was his release?

_Why was there only... darkness?_


	4. I'll Give You This Smile

**_BEEP_ **

_"Wake up Pete.."_

**_BEEP_ **

_"Open your eyes.."_

**_BEEP_ **

****

_"Come on kiddo, you can do it..."_

**_BEEP_ **

_"Pete.."_

Droopy eyes fluttered open, revealing a blurry image of a figure perched by his bedside.

Peter blinked rapidly to focus his vision. He used the little strength he had to scan his surroundings. He was lying painfully on a slightly elevated bed in a small white room with bright lights and no windows.

_Intensive Care Unit_

He turned his head towards the left, staring at all of the medical equipment. He saw the large computer-like screen that displayed a blue line going up and down. Each time it went up, a loud beeping noise rang in his ears.

Heart rate monitor

There were also many IV bags hanging on a pole. Droopy eyes trailed down a tube connecting from one as they led to dozens of needles piercing the skin on Peter's hands and arms.

 

He internally winced as he looked away.

After all these years, he still couldn’t get used to needles.

And last but not least, he saw the oxygen tank that belonged to the nasal cannula wrapped around his face.

He sighed as his eyes fluttered closed again. The sleep was trying to consume his body over again as he prayed for it to take him somewhere else but here.

He loathed hospitals.

Besides the agony of Peter’s self-pity, the only thing he felt was the sharp pang in his chest whenever he took a breath. The heavy pounding in his skull was in sync with his weak heartbeat causing the bright lights to burn his eyes more than they should.

Exhaustion flowed through his veins.

Sleep was the only thing his body was craving.

“Pete…?” The voice continued. “Come on, please keep your eyes open kiddo. I need you.”

 

Peter recognized that voice…

He turned towards it, denying his body the only thing it wanted to do. He squinted his eyes the tiniest bit trying to focus.

"D-Dad..?" He finally whispered. He didn’t know why his voice sounded so hoarse.

"Hey, kid," Tony breathed, his voice was laced with shards of relief. He gripped his son's limp hand being mindful of the pulse oximeter on his index finger and the needle that went through his hand. "You gave your father and me quite a scare last night… "

"What…  'happened?" Peter asked. He attempted to remember bits and pieces from the night before.

He couldn’t breathe…

 

Pain… so much pain…

People were yelling at him to keep his eyes open…  

And he wanted to die…

"You couldn't breathe for a little while…” Tony trailed off, his downcast eyes gently scanned Peter’s face. "How are you feeling?"

Peter swallowed, trying to get rid of the sandpaper feeling in his throat. "Everything… hurts…”

 

Tony averted his gaze towards Peter's hand, shaking his head. He used his thumb to trace small circles on his son’s icy skin. "Yeah… you fell down the stairs…” He said. “You got a concussion… almost fracturing your skull… There was blood everywhere… I just… ”

Peter brought his free hand to touch the bandage on the corner of his forehead. He internally sighed. Of course, things just couldn’t go right for once.

Why would they?

"I’m sorry, Dad…” Peter spoke. “I’m so…  sorry…”

Stark's expression dropped as his eyes lost every ounce of happiness they had since his son awoke. "Peter… can you be honest with me for a sec?”  He asked.

"Okay…”

"Did you.." Tony hesitated. "Take any drugs…  or have any alcohol at that party?"

Peter's body froze. His mind couldn't completely take in the words that were flowing through his ears. His eyes locked onto the pair in front of his face in confusion. He was waiting for his father to take back the question, but he didn't.

“Drugs?” Peter asked. Was his father seriously asking him this?

“Yes, Peter,” Tony replied. “You know… marijuana… methamphetamine… ketamine… amyl nitrate-”

“I know… what drugs are,” Peter interrupted weakly. “But… how could you think that I would voluntarily take them?”

“Did you take any or not?”

"N-No... I didn't… " Peter stuttered in disbelief. "I didn't do any of that stuff… you know that I wouldn’t.”

"Peter… " Tony sighed burying his head in his hands. "I told you to be completely honest with me."

"I am..." The teen argued. Peter knew that he couldn’t have any even if he wanted to. His body wouldn’t be able to handle it. The last thing he would ever want is to collapse at his first party because he made a stupid decision. "You know that I would never... Why don't you believe me?"

"Don't you trust me?"

"This is _not_ about trust, kid." Tony murmured.

"Then what is it?"

His father whipped his head up from his hands. Red flushed over his face as his voice screamed of anger and panic. “This is about _me_ not always being there to tell you not to do something!” He yelled. “If you're out doing that idiotic thing that all teenagers do, which is mindlessly constantly running towards danger for the sake of a _‘good time’_ and then you get yourself hurt or even killed… that's on me!"

"You wouldn't be here right now... In this bed from almost dying the other night. If you just.." He continued, his voice died down.

 

"If something happened to you…  because of your teenage impulses…"

Peter's eyes began to sting in the corners. He was blinking away the tears threatening to stream down his face. He didn’t understand how his father thought so low of him… after everything Peter and his family had fought for did Tony really believe that he would do something that would kill him because of his _‘Teenage impulses’_?

Or was his father trying to imply something else?

"So you're… saying that this…  is my fault... that I'm like this?" Peter sniffled. He really didn’t want to cry right now. The only thing he was focused on was keeping his voice and breathing steady. "That I'm… too sick to even breathe on my own…?"

"That's not what I meant."

“That's exactly… what you meant, isn’t it?"

"I'm… I'm sorry that I grew up… just to be an inconvenience to you." Peter admitted. Everything was his fault, wasn’t it?  

"Peter, wait… " Tony tried. "I’m sorry, please don’t think that-"

"Me too…” Peter sighed. "I'm sorry that I am too dumb, too sick, and too naive to make my own decisions..."

"Which was why you have to monitor me every second of every day to make sure I don’t do anything stupid because I obviously can’t figure it out myself."

"Kiddo, just-" He tried to apologize, but he was interrupted by a knock on the door.

_A doctor._

"Hello, Mr.Stark," He cleared his throat. "I'm here to do the blood test for Peter. Unfortunately, you'll have to exit the room for a little while."

_‘Wow.’_

Peter wanted to tell himself that he didn’t think his father would do something like this, but he couldn't. Of course, his father didn't believe him, why would he?

He assumed he would always be seen a stupid little kid in his eyes.

Tony nodded silently. He gave his son one last glance before he exited the room.

 

The doctor took a seat towards Peter's bedside. "Can you hold out your arm for me?" He asked.

Peter did as he was told in silence. 

"You're a little too young to be exposed to drugs and alcohol... aren't you?” He said as he pulled out an alcohol wipe. “If someone is influencing you… you need to be able to talk to your parents."

"If you want to speak to people close to your age... we have teen support groups here at the hospital. Who knows, you could meet new friends?”

“It may even be, as the kids call it, ‘ _lit’_?”

"Because…” He continued. “Drugs and alcohol won't make your life any better - ”

Peter grunted as the needle went through his skin without any mercy.

“- they won't take away your problems."

The teen bit his tongue to refrain from saying something he would probably regret. He could tell that the doctor was only trying to be "helpful" but Peter wasn't in the mood for all of the empty words.

He wasn’t in the mood for anything anymore.

 

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

"Pete.."

"Wake up.."

Hazy brown eyes fluttered open, blinking a couple times to focus his vision. All of the medication soaring through his bloodstream, made each of his limbs feel like they weighed more than he could bear.

Steve was gently shaking his shoulder, trying to wake him up.

"Hey...Pa..." Peter whispered.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine.."

A tiny smile of relief spread across of his father's face. "That's good..that's really great.." 

"What happened?" Peter whispered. In all honesty, he didn't know what he was expecting his father to say. All he hoped, was that there wasn't any _more_ long term damage from the colonies of cancerous cells residing inside of his lungs.

"It's just the fluid," Steve said, quietly. He averted his gaze to his son's pale hand.

"Oh."

_'The usual' Peter thought._

Every once in a while, his lungs would fill up with a mixture of nasty liquids due to his cancer. He didn't know when it would happen, the only thing he knew was that one moment he was fine, the next he couldn't breathe, and then he would awaken in a hospital with a tube going through the side of his body.

Peter lifted the sides of his hospital gown  
slightly, looking for the tube that usually went through his sides to remove the fluid. He was surprised when he found absolutely nothing.

"Where's the tube?" He asked.

"Luckily... there wasn't a lot of fluid this time.." The blond began. "They used a needle to take some out, and medication to help drain the tiny bits left."

"Okay." Peter breathed. He was thankful for that. No chest tube meant no stitches. He knew how terribly uncomfortable those were.

The brunette's mind eventually wandered off to school on Monday. He accidentally let out a quiet groan just from the thought of it.

"Pete?" Steve asked. "Are you in pain?"

Peter shook his head. "No.," he said. "It's just school.."

"What about it?"

"My tank.." Peter said. "I hate having to roll it around everywhere..." It was completely exhausting. He knew it would be even worse because he had so much medication going through him. If he could barely keep his eyes open now, he knew he wouldn't be any better by Monday. Having to carry his backpack and roll around his tank would be complete hell.

Steve's eyebrows narrowed in concern. His body became tense as he held his son's hand protectively. "Is there something wrong? Has it been causing you any problems?"

"No..no," Peter reassured him. "It's just...it's been kind of hard to get around at school..."

"Sorry...I know that you're probably stressed enough... forget I said anything."

"It's okay, Pete.. don't worry. I'll talk to one of your doctors to see what your father and I can do." Steve interrupted. His voice was reassuring, and his smile was gentle.

Peter's eyes scanned the room, surprised that he didn't find Tony anywhere in sight.

"W-where's dad?" He asked. His voice trembling when he remembered the last conversation they had.

"Your dad went back to work," Steve answered hesitantly. "He said he thought you were mad at him?"

"Yeah, I was, for like fifteen minutes," Peter mumbled silently.

"About what?"

"He asked me if I took any drugs or alcohol at the party..and I told him that I didn't.. but-but he wouldn't believe me," Peter said, he didn't even believe the words coming out of his mouth. "And then he made a doctor give me a blood test... I was so embarrassed.."

"Your father and I just care a lot about you, he was just worried," Steve reassured. "He just wanted to know if those things could've triggered the fluid..." 

"I thought only cancer caused it.."

"Other factors can play a role too, Pete," Steve whispered solemnly. "He was just scared... if something serious had happened to you and he wasn't around... he wouldn't stop blaming himself for it.

"Yeah," Peter whispered. "I know."

"It's okay, don't worry.. just a couple more days and we'll all go home.. and things will get back to normal. We can just forget that this ever happened."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

"I don't think you should go to school today," Tony begged.

Peter was admitted to the hospital last Friday and got discharged on Wednesday. He wasn't complaining though, he had been in a hospital for longer before. He could still get all of his schoolwork done, which was a bonus. And his parents were mostly at work, so he got a couple hours of solitude.

He had already missed Monday and Tuesday, so he was ready to get back to school on Wednesday. But of course, his parents wanted him to stay home for a for an extra day. So, he missed Thursday and was finally going back to school on Friday.

He slipped on his shoes from the foot of his bed, his backpack was already by the front door. "I feel fine, Dad," Peter repeated for the _seventh_ time this morning.

"Shouldn't you stay home just in case your Symptoms relapse? I can stay home from work, and we can spend the day together. Just you and I?"

__________

 _"All of the days I've had to stay home from work because I was worried about something happening to you!"_  
__________

_'I wouldn't want to be an inconvenience.'_

"No, it's okay... The hospital said I was fine." Peter said, walking towards his dad. "You should head to work, anyway."

"Yeah... yeah, okay.." Tony trailed off. "Are you in the mood for breakfast?"

"No, it's okay.. I'm not feeling hungry."

"I haven't seen you eat in three days." Tony sighed.

"I had an apple yesterday.." Peter trailed off. His bipolar appetite always seemed to bother Tony way too much. Some days he could eat like a regular human being. Sometimes, he could eat only a minuscule amount. But, on his unlucky days.. he couldn't eat anything and he barely had enough strength to drink enough water.

"Are you still upset about what I said the other day? because I'm really sorry Pete, I didn't mean it that way.. I was-was just so scared.."

Peter pulled his dad into a reassuring hug. "No, no..dad. I understand, what you were saying. I just took it the wrong way. But, seriously, I'm okay."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

Peter was extremely grateful that his new oxygen machine was replaced with something that was the equivalent of a black messenger bag. He easily slung the cylindrical tank with the protective covering that came with it over his shoulder. It was kind of heavy, but he knew that he would eventually get used to it.

A number of stares dropped, but he still received a few glances. It wasn't that bad though, at least it wasn't like the first day of school.

Once he turned the corner, he used his eyes to scan the area.

_For Wade_

But he only saw a group of students that were chatting along, minding their own business. He sighed. _'Maybe Wade's party was a dream.'_ He thought that maybe, this whole Wade crusade was a big joke.

He internally face palmed himself.

  
With the whole _"I love you's"_ when they were outside. _'I've only known the dude for a week.'_ Peter sighed. He didn't know what possessed him to say those stupid three words so quickly. Maybe it was because of Wade's goofy and sarcastic charisma, how he would always text Peter many random things during class. Or the way he was so gentle with him in biology. Their faces would only by a hair's width apart when sharing a textbook, or Wade would sometimes stop talking for a while... and just listen to whatever the small brunette had to say.

  
But, maybe, _just maybe_ it wasn't the small signs of affection laid on Peter that made him say the words.

_Maybe it was that Wade made him feel normal._

He didn't make him feel like he was sick. Whenever they stared at each other, Wade's hazel eyes would lock into Peter's chocolate ones, Not his nasal tube. Wade never mentioned at the tank following Peter around. He never doubted him. He never _constantly_  asked him if he was feeling okay, or if he needed help with anything. 

_And the young teen appreciated that._

Peter sighed and prepared to walk to his first period, History.

But when he was only a couple steps away from his classroom, an equivalent of a truck came into his side. Pulling him into a confined space while swallowing his small frame into large arms.

Peter let out a small squeal as dozens of kisses landed on cheeks and the tiny birthmarks on his neck.

"Heya, baby boy, I've missed you." Wade whispered into Peter's ear. His warm breath caressed the side of his face, sending waves of happiness that seeped into his skin, lighting him up from the inside out.

"Where..are we?" Peter whispered, attempting to catch his breath.

Wade let out a crooked smile, closing the ajar door and locking it. "Janitors closer."

"This is the most cliché hiding place you could've chosen." Peter laughed, pulling Wilson into a long kiss. The feel of his moist lips left the smaller male quietly gasping for air, but in a good way. Wade's lips were unbelievably breathtaking. The way the slowly caressed Peters, or how they would tease him by hesitating every couple of seconds, leaving him practically whimpering for more. "This is the stupidest hiding place.."

Wade pulled away, the constant snark and sarcasm still obvious in his voice. "I'm sorry I didn't choose the Bahamas of hiding places."

"I don't care.." Peter whispered. Placing one of his hands around Wade's soft hair, pulling his head closer.

After a couple seconds that felt like minutes to Peter, their lips were only inches apart as their foreheads were placed on top of one another's.

"You didn't text me back.." Wade whispered. "Did you get sick of me already?"

"Sorry... I didn't have my phone with me in the hospital.." Peter admitted.

Wade's features hardened for a millisecond before they relaxed. He placed a kiss on Peter'a forehead and ran his hands through his soft brown curls. "You're..you're feeling better, right?" He asked.

"Yeah.. of course.."

The older male placed his nose on Peter's. "That's good...." He grinned. "Because that means...you get to spend the afternoon with your favorite person."

A humorless laugh escaped Peter's lips. "I would love to, but I can't.. my dad was debating on even letting me come to school today.."

"Then how about we spend the entire morning here?" Wade asked, his arm wrapped smoothly around Pete's waist. Laying tiny pecks along the edges of his ear and down his neck. Grazing his lips on the obvious collar bones, sending ripples euphoria through Peter's veins.

It took every ounce of self-control Peter had to shake his head and peel Wade off of him.

"I can't.." He sighed. "I-I..have to get to class.."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

When Peter came home, he was surprised to find Steve, sitting on the table grazing through some papers.

"Hey, Pa." Peter greeted, walking towards him. He was confused. His father was never home this early from work. He usually came home late, much later than Tony.

"Hey, Pete." He answered, moving the papers aside. "Come take a seat, I need to speak to you."

_'Oh crap, what did I do now?'_

"Uh..yeah..yeah..sure.." Peter mumbled. He took hesitant steps towards the empty seat by his father.

"How are you feeling?" He asked. His blue eyes staring coarsely into Peters. Piercing right through the young teens exterior. Trying to find and sign of lies or doubt.

Peter shrugged casually. "I am fine."

His father narrowed his eyebrows a little bit and let out a deep sigh. "Let me rephrase the question."

"How is your appetite?"

Peter focused on the wooden accents of the table. His causality simmered down as it was replaced with an overwhelming feeling of insecurity.

"It's been better..but it's okay.."

"When was the last time you ate?"

Peter gulped. His stomach dropped down, as his heart seemed like it was skipping beats in his chest. He didn't like where this conversation was going. "Yesterday.." he trailed off.

"What did you eat?"

"An apple.."

"You can't keep doing this to yourself.."

Peter still didn't have the strength to look up. To face his father's eyes laced with worry and excess stress that he didn't need. "I know." Peter agreed. "I'm just not hungry.."

"Okay..." He nodded slowly. "I picked up these from work earlier today."

Peter brought his gaze up to his father and narrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

Steve had a small prescription bag that was creased shut, the kind that the hospitals give out. The blonde eyebrows hiked up his eyebrows in a way that meant for Peter to take it.

The teen let his shaky hand grab the bag, it felt like thousands of tiny pins were poking through every muscle. He hesitantly reached into the bag and pulled out a large white pill bottle.

His eyes scanned back and forth, reading it over and over again. The bright orange letters made his eyes throb and heart stop beating for a couple seconds.

**OREXIGENIC**

**APPETITE ENHANCER**

**80 TABLETS**

"Dad..I'm not so sure this is a good idea..." Peter whined. Looking at the size of the pills made his throat feel like it was swelling up. Shoving the large gum all sized pills down made his eyes burn. "Shouldn't we wait until my appetite comes back on its own? I mean..we shouldn't try and force it.."

A strong hand gripped Peter's gently, but in a way that meant that the decision was already made for him, and it would be easier for him if he just cooperated.

"Your father and I have waited.. we've been very patient.. _very very_ patient.." he sighed. "You barely eat Pete, maybe a couple of bites for breakfast.. and either you skip dinner or you eat an amount that wouldn't even feed a small child.."

"We just want you to start feeling better.."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

Dinner came quicker than Peter hoped it would. What his dad was cooking smelled great, actually. Happiness swelled in his nose and his taste buds, but his stomach was throbbing, it was rumbling, and it was hurting a bit.

_The feeling was weird..and Peter wondered if this was normal.._

His hands were shaking under the table. He had to sit on them to keep the tremors at bay. ' _Why am I so nervous? It's just food.. it's not going to hurt me.. it's just food..'_

Steve placed a silver plate down with a colorful array of green and orange vegetables that brightened up his entire meal. A small piece of steak that's been _obviously_ cut in half, several times. And a baked potato, that was sliced in the middle.

Peter sat silently as he watched his parents take their seats. Their heads turned toward him, eyeing him with concern.

"Pete.." Tony sighed. "You can do it.. just at the least take a bite.. please.."

"You're not leaving the table until you finish your meal.." Steve said, a strong firmness in his voice.

The teen took a deep breath in and nodded his head obediently. "Yeah..of course..."

_'Just take one bite..'_

Peter grabbed his fork and picked a vegetable off of his plate.

He took a deep breath in and brought the fork close to his mouth.

_His parents piercing eyes, watching his every move._

Peter opened his mouth, and placed the vegetable in, chewing awkwardly.

_It felt..._

_Great_.

_To finally eat dinner as a family again._

It seemed like the tension buildup in the room diminished when his parents finally saw him eat something. Peter let out a small smile as he picked another vegetable off of his plate. "This taste really good dad.." he said, "Thank you.."

They ate happily in silence a while for Tony made a quick announcement.

"There's a gala tomorrow afternoon." He said, "For Stark industries."

"I think we all should go, it would be fun to get out of the house for a while, right?"

Peter remembered when he was younger and his parents would drag him around to all of the charity events and massive parties from both of their companies. The glamorous people, dozens of men in fancy suits and women in their long ball gowns. Dancing the night away with smiles plastered on their faces.

Or the people who were sitting at the tables in scattered across the ball room, making small talk to pass the time.

Of course, Peter didn't do any dancing, he just sat down too. But instead of talking, he took pictures of anything that caught his attention. The luxurious food, the performers, even the fake plants that were illuminated by the sparkling chandelier.

  
Steve nodded, "Yeah, that sounds like a great idea.."

"What about you, Pete? Do you want to go?" Tony asked.

_'Better than being home alone tomorrow.'_

"Sure..yeah..I would love to." He said, letting out a small grin. "Seems like fun.."

"That's great, kiddo." Steve said. "I'm glad you're feeling up for it."

Peter didn't know why agreeing to go to a gala excited him. Maybe it was because it reminded him of a simpler time in his life, when he was just a small child, trying to get used to the hang of living outside of a hospital.

_Not knowing much, but enough._

_No worries and no tears._

The old thought of him just being a kid again, taking pictures of all of the lively people around him, enjoying themselves with bright smiles on their faces.. made him feel that eventually..

_Everything would be alright._


	5. Then He Fell In Love

_Eventually, everything would be alright, but that wasn't the case for this afternoon._

Peter was lucky he made it to the toilet in time. His stomach burned with acidity spread to each of his limbs, setting his whole body on fire. He felt the warm bile rise up to his throat, causing him to instinctively cover his mouth. He stumbled over his feet as he landed on his knees on with a sharp pain that shot up his body. He used his hands to pull himself up to have _it_ projectile out of his mouth.

If his hands weren't turning white from gripping so hard on the toilet seat, he would've collapsed onto the tile floor.

_Knock_

_Knock_

_Knock_

_Knock_

"Pete, Are you awake in there? We have to get ready soon.."

_'Oh shit, please no.'_

He tried to clear his throat. "I'm awake! I'm awake! Just don't come in here!" He shouted.

"You don't sound okay, Pete.." The teen heard the door handle to his room click open.

_'Oh no'_

"Peter?" His father, Tony called. "Where are you?"

The brunette gulped, trying his best not to empty more of his stomach contents in front of his father. "Bathroom.." he moaned. "Just stay outside...please... it's really gross in-"

Too late.

His head was pounding as the liquid was crawling up his throat and plummeting into the toilet, again. He heard the bathroom door open, and a gasp escapes the lips of the figure behind him.

"Oh... my... god... Peter.." He whispered, sitting down next to his son. Placing a warm hand on the dampened shirt. "It's okay..just breathe, alright?"

Peter whimpered in pain as he placed the side of his face on the cold toilet seat. "I-I'm f-fine.." he shivered. "I-I can still go.." He didn't want to back out now, he couldn't. Whenever he closed his eyes, he saw the grin that was plastered on his parent's faces. a look that he hadn't seen in years. 

Peter knew that he couldn't let them down, not again. He wouldn't let his body rip away his family's happiness anymore.

"I'm fine.." Peter whispered, attempting to half smile. "I'm okay.."

"No, you're not P-"

The teen's back was hunched over the toilet bowl, once more, emptying even more of his stomach fluid.

He heard Tony let out a deep sigh.

_'I disappointed him, again.'_

"Dad.." Peter coughed. " I'm-I'm sorry... I didn't mean to ruin this.."

Stark ran his hand through Peter's hair as kissed the side of his face. "You didn't ruin anything." He cooed. "It's okay... Your father and I can just stay home today.."

The teen shook his head. "No..no.." he sighed. "You guys should go... spend some time together.."

"We're not leaving you home alone, Peter." His father argued.

"I'll be sleeping most of today anyway." He whispered. "You both deserve some alone time... some time out of the house.."

_'Away from me.'_

"Are you sure? Pete?"

"Yeah.. a hundred percent.."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

Once Tony helped Peter back to his bed, he called for Steve. It took a lot more persuading to actually convince his father that he was okay.

They were both standing at the foot of Peter's bed. "Call us if you need anything, or if you just want us to come home," Steve said. 

Tony nodded, continuing. "We left some money in the kitchen, just in case you get hungry."

"Just get some rest, alright?"

"Yeah, I will... but only if you two do something for me." Peter agreed.

"Anything."

"Promise me that you'll enjoy yourselves today.. just forget about me for a little while. Focus on each other..please.."

"I don't think we can do that.. we've been worrying about you since before you could speak," Steve said.

"Just try for one day, Please?"

"No promises."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

After Peter's parents left, the teen drifted off into a relaxing sleep.

 _But only for a little while_.

He was woken up by his phone. The constant vibrations pulling his subconscious back towards reality.

_Buz_

_Buz_

_Buz_

Peter's groggy eyes opened as his hand blindly searched for his phone. Once he grasped it, the bright lights burned his eyes. He has to squint and attempt to focus his blurry vision. It took him a while, but when the message finally focused, a small smile formed on his face.

** Notification from Wade Wilson. **

**"Hey baby boy, are you busy today?"**

Peter knew that if he couldn't go to the gala with his parents, then there's no way he could have enough energy to go out and do something with Wade.

**"No, not anymore," Peter replied. " I was sick this morning."**

Wade hesitated for a couple seconds.

**"Geez, that sucks. Is it contagious?"**

**"Luckily, no. I took some medication the other day.. so that might explain it." Peter replied**

**"Oh, Okay...** **See you in 10!"**

' _Wait...what?'_ Peter reread the message over and over again. _'What the hell does see you in 10 mean?'_

_And then the conclusion came to him._

_Wade was coming over to his house_

_Uninvited_

_In ten minutes._

_'Crap, no... no... I can't have Wade see me like this.'_

**"I'm serious. please don't come over... It's really gross and I'm not feeling up to it."**

Peter waited for what seemed like years for a reply, but all his phone was silent

The brunette dialed Wade's number. Maybe if he could convince him of how bad it really was. He could attempt to fake a cough or lie about his parents being home.

_Ring_

_Ring_

_Ring_

_Ri-_

"Hellooo? This is Wade Wilson, how may I be of service?" The joyous voice on the other line answered.

"You can't... please don't do this today? I look terrible and I feel horrible it's just a huge mes-"

"Sorry, baby boy. Can't hear you I'm going under a tunnel."

"Wade, plea-"

"See you soon, babe."

The phone line disconnected.

Peter tried calling again, but the call went straight to voicemail.

Brown eyes widened as they glanced down at the clock.

 _8 minutes remaining_.

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

The first thing Peter brought himself to do, was race into the shower.

He grabbed a black shirt and a pair of dark gray sweatpants. He knew that he would look even worse than usual, but he didn't care. He needed to shower, change into his clothes and get downstairs before Wade showed up.

Once he was done, he threw on the new clothes and zoomed down the stairs. Which was an extremely bad idea because he was basically gasping for air when he reached the bottom.

_knock_

_Knock_

_Knock_

Peter hesitantly moved his feet across his floor. His hand was shaking when it was placed on the door handle.

_'Just open it.'_

He yanked his door and saw him.

Wade

He was dressed in a black leather jacket and a white tee shirt underneath. The edges of his mouth grew the longer he stared at Peter. A smile that had enough satisfaction and lust to fill up an entire lifetime. He had an evergreen backpack slung across his right shoulder, his hand gripping tightly onto the strap.

"Heya Pe-"

"You seriously can't be here." Peter blurted.

Wade raised his eyebrow and peered behind the angsty brunette before him. "Are you home alone?" He asked, curiously.

"Yes, but-" Peter tried, but his words stopped short when a pair of lips pressed abruptly onto his.

When they pulled away, Hazel eyes stared right into the brown ones, possessing a sense of humor and admiration "Great.." The older teen whispered. "Looks like we get the whole day to ourselves.."

"By the way.." Wade murmured, placing a quick peck on Peter's cheek. "You look beautiful today." Skipping footsteps made their way towards the living room couch, plopping on gracefully, dumping the backpack on the beige carpet.

The brunette slowly shut his door and took a couple of deep breaths. _'It's okay... it's alright... Just stay calm. Maybe Wade just isn't understanding me... I'll politely ask him to leave.'_

_He internally face palmed himself._

Deep down, he knew that wasn't going to end well. Considering he already did that.

"Are you going to join me? Or are you going to brood in the corner by yourself?" A taunting voice asked from the couch.

_'Keep cool.'_

Peter turned and put on and obvious, fake and cheery smile. He moved over towards his couch and stopped right at Wade's gigantic black boot. "You have to leave right now." The teen commanded, crossing his arms over his chest. If he wanted Wade to listen to him, he had to be convincing.

Wilson turned his head upwards and put on the cockiest smile yet. "You're not fooling me, baby boy." He winked. "You want me here, don't you?

"No."

"Yes, Ya do."

_'Okay, maybe a little..but if Dad or Pa came home and found Wade and me home alone, I'm dead, literally.'_

"I said, no."

Wade let out an eye roll and adjusted his position on the couch. He let his arms rest behind his head as shoes were resting on the decorative pillows. "You're a pretty bad liar." He laughed, closing his eyes. "Your voice is telling me one thing, but your eyes are showing how you really feel. You know what they say, the eyes are the window to the soul and what not."

Peter ran his hands through his hair, tempted to rip it out. It was like he was talking to a fussy child. "You need to leave because.." he paused. "If my parents come home and find you here, they're going to flip."

"They're already under a lot of stress because of-" He stopped himself.

_'Me'_

Wilson peeked one eye open to glance at Peter. He raised his eyebrow. "With what?"

The younger teen shrugged him off. "Nothing, never mind." He bent down to try and grab Wade's muscular arm to pull him off of the couch.

It wasn't easy.

One of Peter's hands could barely grasp around Wade's bicep. The weaker teen was struggling as he let out deep breaths the longer he held on. His grip was slipping as his feet kept having to change positions every couple of seconds.

The sound of teasing snickers escapes Wade's lips. "Keep trying, bud. You almost got it." He sarcastically encouraged. "You're almost there."

"You weigh more than you look." Peter breathed, he hoped he wasn't already sweating. "And you're-"

But before the brunette could even finish his sentence, two strong arms grabbed onto his waist and pulled him downwards towards the couch. Peter gasped due to the wind being locked out of him. With one swift motion, he was pinned under Wade. The mesmerizing hazel eyes, looming down at his face with conviction.

"Don't you trust me?" He taunted.

"Wade Wilson, if you do not get off of me right now I will-" Peter tried, but his empty words were cut short. He was silenced due to a pair of lips, gently caressing his.

"Loosen up, baby boy." Muttered Wade. "You worry too much.."

Anytime Peter tried to form words, they would get cut short. The other males lips consumed his like a riptide, establishing complete domination over every motion.

_And after a while, Peter just gave up._

_He gave up on trying to fight back_.

His body succumbed to Wade's embrace as he relaxed his tense muscles. Allowing his lips to move along perfectly with his.

The hazel eyes locked into the brown ones, keeping their face only millimeters away. "Do I really have to go?" He whimpered. "Can't I just stay for five minutes?" His hand traveled slowly through Peter's soft curls, turning the brunette's head to the left. Revealing the younger teen's pale, smooth neck. Spotted with dozens of beautiful birthmarks.

Wade lowered his head and placed numerous kisses on each. The motion was sedated and warm, but each peck was filled with so much admiration for the other. With each round of kisses, Wade didn't remove his lips off of Peter's neck. Instead, he slowly dragged them down, caressing each of them with the love he had to offer.

Peter let out quiet moans. He internally punched himself for it, he didn't want Wade to hear them.

But the sensation of his lips grazing across his skin was indescribable. It sent waves of radiating electricity that flew though of all of his limbs, rendering him unable to move. The euphoria received from Wade's hold left his whole body numb, paralyzed.

And the sweet kisses were so benevolent, that they sent heavenly chills down Peter's back side. The shockwaves of pleasure forced him to let out soft moans that sounded pained but were the exact opposite.

The younger boy gathered up the courage to form words. "O-Okay.." he whispered. "Just five minutes.."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

Five minutes passed a long time ago.

Peter was curled into Wade's body on the couch. They lied in a comfortable silence for a while. The younger teen's eyes were closed, he was trying his best not to fall asleep. 

He wanted to be awake for Wade. Because he knew that he was worth it.

"You awake, Pete?"

"Of course.." He whispered.

Wade intertwined his hand in Peters, leaning his head in closer, placing a quick kiss on the tip of his nose. "I know nothing about you." He whispered. "Tell me something...tell me anything.."

Peter cracked open his eyelids. "There's not much to tell." He admitted. "What do you wanna know?"

A persuasive grin crept onto Wade's lips. "Tell me about yourself, about your childhood."

"It's pretty boring."

"Okay..." Wade trailed off, "Well..um...any past friends?"

Peter's light and carefree attitude shifted when he thought about him. That optimistic kid with the electric bright blue eyes that could pierce through anyone. The brightest smile that could light up an entire room.

His first friend.

Peter cleared his throat, taking a deep breath. "I had a friend... His name was H-Harry.. Osborn.."

Wade cocked an eyebrow, inquiring more information. "Like, Osborn Oscorp?" He asked.

Peter nodded.

"How did you meet him?" Wade asked, curiosity sparking in his voice. "Were your dad's like.. business partners or something?"

_'I wish that was how we met.'_

"I don't think so.." He shook his head. He closed his eyes for a couple seconds, letting all of the images and past memories flood his brain. His heartbeat quickened as warm blood rushed towards his face. It was hard to say it, it was hard to think about it. The way he and Harry were, in that place.

"Chemotherapy sessions.." He finally murmured. He turned his head down away from Wade. Deep down, Peter wished that his lungs were _'normal'_ so he could he admit that he had an enjoyable childhood.

So he wouldn't have panic attacks and memories that made him want to curl up and cry when he thought about the treatment that was supposed to make him better. That the pain would be worth it if he went through it for only a couple of "weeks". That's what his parents said.

For once, Wade was silent. Peter was scared to look up and read his expression. Was it Pity?

Maybe it was or wasn't. He needed someone to be there and listen to him for once. So continued anyway.

"Umm... at the hospital.. there were these support groups.. it took place in a gigantic meeting room... there was a huge circle with all of these other people.."

"I really didn't want to go, because I was so scared..seeing other people. I got diagnosed with lung cancer from a young age, so I didn't really talk to people besides my parents..but they made me... they thought that I should work on my people skills by interacting with people.."

"I sat away from everyone else, and I didn't say much... I had nothing to say. Until one day, he came up to me and introduced himself. He was my first and only friend for a while.."

"It was nice... having someone to talk to that weren't the nurses or the doctors.. he made me feel like.." Peter paused. "I don't really know how to describe it.. like I had something.. or someone to actually live for."

Peter let out a humorless laugh. "he was severely optimistic too... he believed that we would wake up one day get better. We would live glorious lives away from here, never having to step foot in a hospital again. Personally, I didn't believe him... I knew that he could wake up and get better..he had a type of blood cancer.. but his wasn't as bad as mine."

"He had the hospital, His father, and Oscorp developing a bunch of ways to try and save his life... He was only in the early third stage, and I was in the forth. By the time I was ten, I knew that I was already dead... but I agreed with him anyway, he was happy, so I was happy."

The distant grin faded from Peter's face. "And once both of us were out of the hospital... it felt like I was actually living for once. He was my first and only friend."

"And then he got really sick... I tried to visit him every day and give him the advice he gave me... but I knew ... that one day... he wouldn't wake up."

"I remember when I kept asking to see him for days... but no one told me anything. I thought he was finally cured, and that.. y'know.. he was free.. he was finally able to leave."

 _"_ Until about a week later, a nurse told me that he died in his sleep.."

"For a while, I isolated myself. But deep down I didn't know what I was really expecting to happen. We were sick, we were both dying.. but I didn't expect it to be him." Peter sniffled.

"I was further along. I had tumors growing in my lungs.. and the cancer started to spread down to my liver..."

Warm tears slipped silently down Peter's face. "I didn't even get to say goodbye." He whispered. "It's like he never existed.. his father doesn't talk about him.. and-and I don't even have a picture.."

A deep sigh came from Peter's lips, "This is really embarrassing.. but I have this shoe box under my bed.. and it's filled with a bunch of letters I wrote to Harry after he died... telling him what was on my mind.. how I was feeling. Sometimes I would even pretend we were having an old conversation. Just like we used to.."

"Writing to him felt kind of therapeutic.. so I continued. Whenever there's something bothering me or if I just need someone to talk to... I just write. I know I can talk to my parents and such... but they worry way too much.."

Peter use one of his hands to wipe the tears falling from his face. "Sorry.." he sniffled. "You don't need to hear this.. or see me like this.."

A warm hand grazed across Peter's cheek, wiping his tears away. Hazel eyes stared compassionately into the brown ones.

"It's okay.." The other voice whispered. "You have me now.."

Peter held onto the hand pressed onto his face. But the longer they were intertwined, the more tears fell.

He remembered the last time he looked into someone's eyes with such affection. The feeling of loving someone, and getting the exact same thing in return. The thought made him cry tears of joy and guilt at the same time.

Because he looked at Harry the same way, all of those years ago. Having someone whisper into his ears and let him know what everything would be alright. But also knowing that one day, something could happen, and they could be gone, forever. And the same powerful loneliness would consume Peter's interior. Overpowering his every desire he had to achieve any sort happiness, locking his soul inside of a dark cage of guilt and misery.

Peter didn't even notice that he had started sobbing until Wade's large arms pulled their bodies closer. His head was buried into his chest, leaving large puddles of water on the white shirt.

"Shhh.." he cooed, delicately rubbing protective circles on Peter's back. "You're alright.. you're okay.."

"I-It should've been me- that died... n-not him..."

A light and compassionate kiss was placed on the trembling body.

_"That's the universe baby boy.. she loves screwing innocent people over, doesn't she?"_

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

When Peter's tears faded away, he was glad to find himself resting inside of Wade's arms. It was silent between the pair before he finally broke it.

"Sorry.." He murmured. He felt bad that he soaked Wade's shirt in his tears. He didn't mean to get so emotional. But he couldn't stop himself. Having someone actually listen to him about something other than his health.. was a feeling that he craved for a long while.

Soft hands ran through the brunette's hair and around the side of his face. Landing under his chin, delicately nudging it upwards.

"You don't have to apologize."

Wade brought his nose to rest on Peter's. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine, I guess."

"That's good.." Wilson whispered. "Because now we can get to the fun stuff.."

Peter raised his eyebrow. "W-What are you talking about?"

Wade reached over to the backpack resting on the floor. He pulled out a set of seven Harry Potter movies with a cheeky smile on his face. "We are having a movie night." He said in a matter of fact tone.

"W-What?"

The famous crooked smile rose onto Wade's lips. "We." He said, leaning his face in closer to Peter's. "Are binge watching Harry Potter...and there's nothing you can do about it."  
  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

"Are you still hungry?" Peter asked, tucked under Wade's arm.

They had already set up the living room. Dozens of thick blankets laid out on the floor, stacked onto of one another. Making a huge cushion that looked like they could swallow both of them. Several multi colored pillows scattered along their cave of blankets.

"Of course, I always am." He chuckled.

Peter used the money his parents left him to order pizza before the movie started.

_Pineapple and Olive.  
___________

_"Why the weird combo?" Peter asked._

_Wade let out a fake scoff. "Haven't you ever tried this?" He asked. "It's sweet and salty, best of both worlds!"_

_"You have to try it."_

_Peter eyed the pizza in the box. "No thanks." He shook his head. "I hate olives and I prefer for my fruit not to be on pizza."  
___________

Somehow, Wade used his puppy dog eyes and convinced Peter to try some. Surprisingly, it wasn't as bad as he thought it would be.

The brunette managed to eat three slices, which he was quite proud of him self for. And Wade managed to eat the rest of it by himself.

"Are you still hungry? I can get you something else to eat. " Peter said, preparing to get up.

But strong arms gripped Peter's hip bones and pulled him back down into their small fort. "I would rather have you by my side.." he mumbled. Pulling the teen's body into his.

Brown eyes rolled, playfully. "Okay.."

The two of them watched in a comfortable silence for a while, before Peter broke it.

"Wade.." his voice low.

"Hmm?"

This question had been eating at him for weeks. Ever since Wade had started showing his tiny signs of affection at school, and when their lips locked for the first time at the party.

"Why me?" Peter asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You could've had anyone in the entire school.." he spoke quietly. His heart sank a bit in his chest when he thought about it. "But you chose... someone like me...why?"

Wade paused and then turned his head to look into the insecure chocolate eyes. "You have a bad habit of doubting yourself, you realize that, right?" He hummed.

"Is it really that obvious?"

"Yep. You should get out of it."

"But please, tell me," Peter begged.

Wade smiled. "You really want to know?"

Peter nodded.

"It's..." Wilson whispered, Moving his lips to graze over Peter's forehead. "Because..."

His hesitation left Peter in a state of uneasiness. "Because, what?" He asked.

Wade chuckled and quickly shook his head. "I can't say... there's too many reasons.."

"Tell me one?"

Strong hands caressed the sides of Peter's face. Between each phrase, a kiss landed on every part of the brunette's face. "I love you.." he began. "Because.."

"You're not..."

"Like..everyone else.."

"You're different in the most magnificent way possible.."

"You don't see it.."

"But I do.."

"I love you because you're you.. the special someone that makes me actually feel whole again."

Peter let out a soft smile. "I didn't know Wade Wilson had such a soft side."

The hazel eyed males features hardened jokingly. "If you tell anyone.."

The brunette rested his head on Wade's shoulder. "Don't worry.." he promised. "I'll keep all of your secrets.."

Wilson's hands ran through Peter's hair and down the sides of his cheek. A light kiss landed on his face, swelling his body up with a happiness that consumed the demons eating away at his insides. "I know you will.."

Eyelids containing the brown eyes slowly fluttered closed. Using the rhythmic pattern of Wade's heart beat as a smooth lullaby. He embraced the strong arms around him that served as an aura, protecting him from everything and everyone.

The warmness that caressed Peter's exterior illuminated his soul. At this point in his life, He knew that he loved Wade. And now, he finally felt that he was loved back in the exact same way.

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

"Pete..?"

"Wake up..."

Heavy eyes lifted open, revealing blurry silhouettes in front of him. The teen blinked hazily, trying to focus on the image. "Wade..?" He moaned.

Eyebrows raised in curiosity, eyeing Peter's sleepy figure carefully. "Who is Wade?" A voice asked.

Peter's eyes shot open as he jumped backward away from the figures.

"Peter!" A deeper and more firm voice asked. "Are you alright?"

The teen squinted his eyes and stared upwards at the two figures him. His eyes were drooping as his head felt like it outweighing every part of his body. "Dad..? Pa..?" He asked, continuing to scanning them back and forth.

Steve and Tony looked at one another before turning to their son. "You alright? You almost fell off of your bed.." The blond asked.

_'Bed'_

"My b-bed?" Peter stuttered. The last thing he remembered, he was in the living room..

With Wade.

_'Oh shit..'_

_'Did they find Wade downstairs? Were the blankets still there?'_

"Peter?"

The brunette nodded rapidly. "Y-yeah...I'm good.." he panted. He had to act like everything was normal. _Like he remembered falling asleep on his bed._

Tony took a seat next to him. "What did you do today? How are you feeling? Did you eat anything?" His voice possessed a sense gentleness to it, in a begging like manner. Peter knew what his father wanted to hear, and for once, he felt like he could actually give him a satisfying answer.

"I feel okay and I mostly slept..." Peter admitted. "But I had something to eat.. earlier today.."

Stark turned towards his husband with a reassuring grin before looking at their son. "Great... that's good.."

Tony was about to say something else before Steve interrupted. "It's getting late.. we can talk more about it tomorrow morning?"

"Oh..okay..sure.."

Peter's parents walked over to his door before throwing him a reassuring smile. "We love you.. good night, kiddo."

"I love you too, Dad and Pa..." Peter replied. "Good night, sleep well."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

  
Peter let out a deep sigh and ran his hand through his hair. He scanned his surroundings _, 'How the hell did I end up in my bed?'_ He remembered that he was in his living room.. watching Harry Potter... snuggled in Wade's chest.

Had his parents known that Wade came? Peter shook his head, there's no way. Tony would've freaked out, and Steve would bombard him with numerous questions that he wouldn't have the answer to.

 _'Maybe I dreamt the whole thing.'_ Peter thought. His parents hadn't even mentioned Wade's presence once, or their mess of blankets in the living room. There was no real proof that he was actually here.

His hands grazed over towards his phone. He wanted to text Wade, asking him about earlier today. But he was surprised when there was a text message already on his lock screen.

**"You're adorable when you sleep, you know that? But I would've been heartbroken if I left you alone in the living room, So I took you to your room. That doesn't matter, not really. It was nice spending time with you today.. just remember that you mean the world to me. Don't forget that, okay? Goodnight, baby boy. Sleep well.**

**P.S You owe me for falling asleep halfway into the movie."**

A half smile crept onto the side of Peter's face when he read the message. He buried the rest of his body under the blankets, holding his phone close to his chest. He let out a quiet laugh and closed his eyes when he had a final confirmation, that _this_ wasn't a dream.

_This was real._


	6. Peter, Interrupted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A flashback to Peter's life when he was ten years old.

"You may need to say your goodbyes..." Doctor Connors said, handing a CT scan to Steve and Tony. They gripped it with shaking hands, staring dreadfully at the piece of black paper containing a visual of Peter's lungs. Both pairs of eyes laced with hints of disbelief and worry. _'This wasn't happening, this wasn't supposed to happen.'_

Connors continued, "There are six large tumors in his lungs... the cancer has metastasized to his liver with a... with a... growing possibility of reaching his brain..."

"The chemotherapy and the radiation... have been a stable form of treatment, But now..." Connors hesitated. The hurt was obvious on his face. But he was trying his best to keep his voice flat. "His body isn't strong enough anymore... it's doing more harm than good.. if we give your son any mo-"

"Stop." Tony interrupted. He passed the photo to his husband and took a seat, cupping his face in his hands. He was trying his best to hide the true emotion evident in his voice, but there was no point. "H-How long?" He whispered.

The doctor narrowed his eyes away from Peter's parents. "it's impossible to tell at this point.."

"How. Long." Tony gritted his teeth. Each word filled with a solution of sorrow and frustration.

Silence.

_"A couple days.. two weeks maximum."_

Stark's hitched breathing filled up the room. Each breath possessed the sounds of his soul screaming with a sense of desperation and aggravation. Even though his hands were on his face, the tears rolled down his cheeks, leaving dark puddles on his pants. He knew this wasn't fair. No child deserved to go through what Peter went through. With the years of " _treatment_ " that left him crying himself to sleep when he thought he was alone... Or the days where he was too tired to even open his eyes and too sick to even take a bite of food or a sip of water.

Or the worse ones.

The heart-wrenching moments when Peter's lungs would overflow with fluid. His feeble hand would squeeze his parent's hand's every couple of seconds. Minuscule whimpers would leave his lips as the tube going through the side of his body painfully sucked away the liquid that left him unable to breathe.

He was too young to succumb to this. He was supposed to be vibrant and full of light. He was supposed to contain a youthful and joyful smile that would spread happiness into the hearts of others. And have the most adorable laugh that would make his parent's soul smile.

_Anything but this._

_He wasn't supposed to die at age ten._

_No, he wouldn't._

_He can't._

"There must...." Steve chimed in. He was trying his best to keep his voice strong, but the vulnerability became stronger and stronger with each word that left his mouth. "Be something we can do.. anything.."

Connors let out a deep sigh. "There's one option... We could perform surgery.. to remove the site of where we think the cancer originated from.. along with some of the tumors.."

Tony peeked his eyes from his hands, a flicker of hope igniting inside of his chest. Slowing tugging on his arm, pulling his estranged body from the ominous corners of his mind into a sense of hope.

"But his body isn't strong enough. There's a possibility that he may not make it through the surgery."

Stark cleared his throat and took hesitant steps towards the doctor. "There's a chance.. that he could survive the surgery.. and it could make him better?"

"Theoretically, yes but-"

"Do it." Steve and Tony said harmonically.

Connors shook his head, "There are too many risks, doing this surgery could put his life in even more danger."

"What are the risks?" Steve asked.

"For starters, we would have to perform a Pneumonectomy... we will remove one of his lungs.  His right one to be exact, it's believed that his cancer started there.."

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He questioned.

Steve and Tony looked at each other, no words were exchanged but the way they stared into the eyes of the other did all of the speaking for them. They knew what they wanted.

_They wanted Peter to be healthy._

_They wanted their son to be happy._

_They needed their son, alive._

_No matter what._

"Do it." They repeated.

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

The surgery would begin soon.

The staff working on Peter's lungs reminded his parents of the complications that could occur. Encouraging them to say any last words, just in case... his body can't go on.

Steve and Tony opened the door of their son's room and closed it silently while walking towards the bedside. They stood quietly, just examining him.

Their mind traveled to the thoughts of how their son was before.The innocent child that had an aura equivalent to a gigantic star. Constantly burning with an unlimited amount of energy. When he was only four, he ran around their house in an oversized shirt, giggling and laughing like he didn't have a care in the world, refusing to get in the tub. Or, constantly talking and blabbing on about the tiniest things that amused him. If he found a new bug in the back yard, he could rant for hours on how it amazed him.

_Not like this._

The fragile, bony stature taking in slow, agonizing light breaths. Sometimes, the heart rate monitor was the only indication to prove that he was still alive. His once fair skin had lost all color. The paleness contrasted the dark bags that resided under his eyes. Even though his eyes were shut most of the time, he managed to somehow look exhausted. The only item that added a touch of color to Peter's physique, was the red and blue beanie he wore. Since he lost his hair from the rounds of chemotherapy, he often complained how his head was cold. His parents, of course, bought a hat for him without a moment's hesitation.

The nasal cannula stretched across his face, went behind his ears and under his hospital gown. The tube intertwined with all of the IV's the young boy had to pierce through his hands and arms.

Tony didn't want to wake him up. He didn't want to look into the brown doe eyes that were once filled with curiosity and softness all those years ago. After every thing Peter had been through, they seemed slightly vacant. Like they were glazed over with the massive amounts of medicine coursing through his veins. Anytime Peter's parents would look into the brown orbs, waves of guilt flew through them. Seeing their son like this, unable to live the life he was given, made them feel like they disappointed the most precious person in their life. The most important job they had was taking care of their child. But they felt like they failed because now... this illness was costing him his life.

A gentle hand was placed on Peter's shoulder.

"Peter...Wake up... it's me."

The brunette gradually fluttered open his eyes. Blinking rapidly every couple of seconds, trying to clear his vision. His brown eyes scanned the room promptly before landing on his two parents in front of him. The small lips rose only a couple millimeters, attempting to form a smile.

"Hey... dad... hey... pa..." His voice barely came out as a whisper. It had an unsettling amount of hoarseness that seemed painful to listen to.

Rogers bent down next to the bedside, gripping the cold and bony hand in his. "Hey, Pete.." he said, "How are you feeling?"

"The same..." Peter's tiny features dropped.

Tony forced a big smile. One that he hadn't put on in what seemed like an eternity. "You're going to get better, you know that, right?"

"Of course.. you tell me that...every day..."

"I know, I know.." Stark murmured. "But.. something is going to happen soon... and it's going to make you healthy again."

"You'll be out of here before you know it," Steve added.

The brunette's eyes bounced off of his parents’ figures in confusion. "I..I don't understand.."

Before they could respond, a voice coming from the door way interrupted them. "We have to get him ready, it's time." It said. 

Brown eyes swelled up with fear of the unknown. "Dad..what's going on? What's going to happen to me..?"

Tony and Steve tried their best to calm Peter down. They held his hand tighter and let soothing shushes flow from their lips. " it's okay... don't worry" Steve whispered. "Everything is going to be alright... the doctors are going to do something quick and painless."

The corners of Peter's eyes began to sting, he felt the tears begin to pour out. "W-what's going...to happen? He asked frantically. "What are... they going to... do to me?"

"They're going to remove the things from your body making you sick. Remember, it won't hurt at all..." Tony reassured him.  
_______  
_"But his body isn't strong enough. There's a possibility that he may not make it through the surgery."  
________

The reassuring mood shifted into a sensation of an overwhelming stress that made Tony's hands sweat and his chest tighten. His voice already trembled with the heartache of all the things that could go wrong.. everything that could happen during this surgery..."I'm going to need you to promise me something, okay?" He asked.

Peter nodded obediently. "Anything.."

"No matter what happens, you must promise me that you will keep on fighting."

"You're not allowed to quit...you're not allowed to give up, you hear me?"

Warm tears pooled down Tony's cheek as he held his son's hand and brought it closer to his face. He couldn't stand the thought of losing his son to this illness. It wasn't fair that he was stuck inside of this hospital, wasting away. Crying out in pain because of the enormous masses growing inside of his lungs. Suffering a deep agony as the hopeless feeling of the cancer violently spreading around his body, making his chances of recovery slimmer with each day that passed.

 _He could tell how scared his son was and hard he was trying to be brave_.

Whenever they walked into the room and he happened to be awake, his parents would be greeted a warm grin. Or, whenever he winced in agony, wheezing furiously, unable to catch a single breath.. the only words that managed to leave his mouth were, ' _I'm fine, don't worry.'_

But his parents saw right through him.

They knew that their child was suffering and there was nothing they could do to help him.

Before he knew it, he was soaking Peter's hand with his tears. He became a sobbing mess because he couldn't bear the thought of losing Peter.

_Their son was going to survive this, he had to._

Steve began laying gentle rubs on Tony's back while whispering reassuring words. Trying his best to keep himself and his husband at ease.

 _They had to have hope_.

"P-Please..." Tony sobbed. "P-Please.. promise me... that in a couple hours you'll open your eyes."

"Promise me that I'll be able to hear your voice again."

Peter squeezed his father's hand with the tiniest amount of strength he had left. "I promise, dad.." He whispered. "Just please... be there when... I wake up.."


	7. Exchange For Your Time

Peter Stark-Rogers, actually excited to go to school?

 _That's a surprise_.

On Saturday night, the only sounds inside of his room were the numerous amounts of giggles that escaped his lips. And on Sunday, he was snuggled up under his blankets all day. For once, it wasn't because he was too sick to get out of bed or too tired to open his eyelids. It was cause he was texting the over-confident jerk that teased him with his comic book obsession, the one that somehow got him to admit most of his deepest secrets, the boy that would lay the sweetest kisses on the brunette's cheeks. Each embrace filled with a warm tenderness that allowed Peter to feel like for once in his life, he was actually loved.

The hazel eyed boy named Wade.

The brunette made his way out of his bed and into his closet. He took a step back and examined his wardrobe, which was mostly dark colors. If he were being completely honest with himself, his fashion sense was relatively normal. He wore casual sweaters and jeans. But seeing him in anything with short sleeves at school was a pretty rare occasion. His skin would become even paler and his fingernails would turn a light shade of blue, he hated that he got cold so easily.

And to make matters worse, MJ often made comments about his appearance.

_"What's your problem? Why do you always seem sad?"_

_"Maybe it's because of all the pills you're taking."_

_"You look way too pale today, are you sure you can even make it through the day?"_

Peter tried his absolute best not let her crude words get to him. He knew that deep down, she wasn't a mean person, she just lacked a verbal filter.

But sometimes, he pondered on that thought. Maybe he was just making up excuses to keep the hurt to a bare minimum. The brunette noticed that she was exceptionally kind to Wade. She would often ditch Peter and Gwen to wedge herself between Wade and his friends. The forceful hand holding, the unexpected kisses on his cheek, and the inappropriate touches by her on Wade's body made MJ look absolutely ridiculous

It was amusing, to Peter and Gwen. They would laugh at her feeble attempts to seduce him. All Wade would do, was toss her an awkward smile and try to peel her hands off of him. Wilson was usually so confident and filled with humor. But whenever MJ would get all handsy, it's like his ego would diminish to the equivalent of dust.

Usually, Peter thought that he should feel some sort of jealousy. Someone was hitting on his boyfriend. In his opinion, someone better than him. Anyone with a pair of eyes could see how beautiful MJ was. The way her red waves bounced vibrantly off of her shoulders whenever she walked, and how the smooth marble features of her face had the perfect complexion. She wasn't too pale, but she was light with a natural blush that rested on her cheeks.

On the other hand, Peter didn't think he was very attractive. He had to get at least seven hours of sleep not to look like something that came from the walking dead. And, he was the definition of socially awkward. His only friend was Gwen, not that he had a problem with it. To him, she was perfect.

Even if, Peter couldn't intertwine with MJ's love affair if he wanted to. He and Wade both agreed that they should wait a while both before they both have a public relationship. Peter didn't know why, but Wade just said that he wanted to take his time. It wasn't that bad though, they still walked around the school together.

Once Peter got all of his materials, he made his way downstairs. His eyes landed on Tony who was pouring himself a cup of coffee. Steve was nowhere to be seen.

"Morning dad." Peter chimed, moving closer towards the dining room table.

"Hey, Kiddo," Tony said. Taking a sip of his coffee. "Did you sleep well?"

The brunette nodded, biting his bottom lip to hide the smile growing on lips. He started thinking about his weekend with Wade. "Yep..." he whispered. "The best one I've had in a while."

"That's great... I'm glad to hear that.." Tony agreed. "Anyway, your father had to go to work early today.." He glanced his watch and grimaced. "As do I.. but I can prepare you something quick. You wouldn't mind getting to school a little bit earlier than usual?"

"Wait, no dad." Peter shook his head. The brunette knew he wasn't a kid anymore. He was sixteen years old, he had the ability to prepare himself something to eat and walk to school. To him, he felt embarrassed that his father was still doing these mundane things for him at this age. "If you need to be at work early, then you should go.. I can grab something for breakfast.."

Tony raised his eyebrows, placing his cup of coffee cup of the table. "No way.. how would you get to school?"

_'Is he seriously asking me this?'_

"By...walking..?" Peter answered.

"I'm not going to let you walk to school alone.." Stark objected. "It could be cold outside... and what if you get lost? Or you phone stops workin-"

"Dad.." Peter interrupted. "It's a fifteen-minute walk, I'm pretty sure I'll be okay."

Stark sighed, he used his hand to rub the temple of his forehead. "I don't know, Pete... I don't want anything to happen to you."

"I promise you..." Peter reassured. "I'm not going to collapse today.."

"I don't think you're ready to walk to school alone yet.."

"Dad.." Peter sighed. "I'm sixteen."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

It took Peter about ten minutes to convince Tony that he would be alright.

Once Stark was halfway out the door, he popped his head through to get some more things off of his chest. "Remember, if you feel light headed or if you're having trouble catching your breath-"

"Call you immediately and do the breathing exercises you taught me, I know."

"Or if your chest starts hurting.. or you start coughing... or if you simply don't want to walk anymore, don't hesitate to call. I'll be there to-"

"Dad." Peter politely interrupted. "I love you, I really do.. but you're going to be late."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

When Peter finally reached the school, he was happy to see that there were barely any students filling up the hallways. He was early, which was great. That meant that he would have a couple moments to prepare himself to deal with whatever the day could throw at him.

"Hey, Pete!"

He turned around and saw a familiar blonde coming towards him. His best, and what seemed like his only friend, Gwen.

"Hey." He smiled. "How was your weekend?"

"It was kind of lame." She admitted "I went to the gala.. on Saturday night. I thought I would see you there.. cause Tony's the CEO of Stark Industries and all.."

"Oh..." Peter mumbled. "Sorry... I was going to go... but I was...sick.."

"That sucks.." Gwen said. "Are you feeling better now?"

Peter nodded his head. "Yeah, I feel fine.."

"I hate being sick, it's miserable, isn't it?"

"It wasn't that bad.." he shrugged. "Wade came over."

Peter knew that he could trust Gwen with his life. She had been there for him since the first day of school. She helped him get off of the floor and aided him in masking up the embarrassment of that moment. She was the friendly blonde that walked him to each of his classes, making sure he knew exactly where they were.

She was the one that didn't allow him to sit alone at lunch. Since Gwen was the only person he felt comfortable talking to and helped him open up about his feelings for Wade, Peter knew that she was one of the only people he could actually trust. Gwen was the only person that knew about his and Wade's relationship.

Her eyes widened, the green orbs becoming lighter and lighter with the brightness that manifested inside of them. She nudged his shoulder playfully. "Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!" She squealed with excitement, "What did you guys do?"

A massive grin formed on Peter's face just thinking about the day he and Wade had together. The way they were bunched up inside a mess of blankets and pillows, and the sweet kisses exchanged between the two of them made the brunette feel like he was actually appreciated. Not doubted with judgmental eyes that scanned his scrawny features up and down. "We just watched a couple movies."

Gwen's mouth became an O shaped. "Peter Stark-Rogers!" She exclaimed. "For once in your life, you look like you're not brooding! God forbid what would happen to you if you don't tell me all of the details!"

Peter put both of his hands up in defense. "Okay..okay." He said. "We cuddled for a little bit, ordered a pizza, and watched a movie... nothing special happened.."

"Did he sleep over?" She gasped. "Were you guys together on your bed? Did you guys kiss?"

Peter shook his head, "No, he went home...I fell asleep during one of the movies.."

"Did he take you to bed?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well..yeah... I was still sick.."

Gwen used her hand to cover her mouth. She was attempting to keep herself from smiling, But it didn't work. "That's so sweet of him!"

Before the blond could get even more excited about Peter's love life, a familiar voice, that one voice that changed Peter's life forever, interrupted their conversation.

"Hey Gwen, can I borrow your boyfriend for a second?"

Peter turned around and kept his eyes locked with the hazel ones staring at his figure up and down. A minuscule smile of satisfaction formed on his lips. Wade took a couple steps closer to the pair. When Gwen's green eyes bounced from the both of them, she bit her bottom to keep from smiling even more.

When Wade approached Peter, he gave Gwen a quick wink. "I'm stealing him and never giving him back."

"Sorry."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

The two of them walked around the halls, their shoulders millimeters apart. They had some time to spare before the first period began, So spending it together before they had to pretend they didn't know each other seemed like a great use of their time. Of course, them being seen within five feet of one another caused them to receive some unpleasant stares. But they were used to it by now.

"When am I going to meet your parents?" Wade asked.

The brunette turned upwards and looked at Wade in confusion."What?"

"You heard me.." he repeated, nudging Peter's shoulder. "I feel like I should meet them soon.."

Peter shook his head. "No way." He scoffed. It was a disaster bound to happen. Wade Wilson, meeting his parents? Tony was conscious about even sending Peter to school, and Steve would most likely turn the evening into an interrogation session. Wade wasn't a bad person, it just that Peter's parents felt like he should wait. Take his time to enjoy high school. They want their son to pay more attention to his grades and his health, rather than guys or girls.

Wilson let out a small pout and let his puppy dog eyes focus on Peter. "W-Wha.. why not?" He whimpered.

"You were the one that wanted to keep our relationship private, remember?"

Wade let out a shrug. "Alright alright, true.." he agreed. "But only at school is where we keep it private.. anywhere else is okay.."

Peter hummed along a sort of agreement. "Okay, well... whenever is fine." They continued walking around the school in a comfortable silence. Both just appreciating the other's presence. The longer they wandered, the more students came pouring in through the doors.

Things were nice for a while. In Peter's life, at this exact moment, everything was still, everything was quiet.

_But not for long._

With one swift motion, Wade gripped Peter's arm tightly. The brunette flinched with the sudden motion. He gazed upwards at Wade in bewilderment before his small body was yanked into an empty classroom.

"W-What the hell?!" Peter asked, startled. "What was that?"

Wilson's back was pressed onto the door, his eyes were closed as he had a pained expression on his face. "I saw Mary Jane." He grimaced.

A shy chuckle escaped Peter's lips. "Why are you so scared of your girlfriend? Don't you want to meet her parents?" He taunted, taking a seat on top of the desks.

Hazel eyes rolled. "Nah, I would rather show my sweet ass to your parents."

"If you really want to..." Peter whispered. " I guess we'll need to establish some ground rules then.."

A cocky smile rose to the sides of Wade's face as he walked closer to Peter. He stood in front of the desk as the brunette's figure sat below him, staring upwards. Soft, warm lips started to caress Peter's face. Wade's gentle hands stroked it, progressively moving down to grip his sides. Eventually, Wade's lips made their way to Peter's. In the beginning, it was light and soft...

But then it started getting rough. Wade's lips began pressing harder onto Peter's. Everything became faster. The rhythmic movements became more and more passionate. After each wave of kisses, it left the brunette leaning in closer, begging for more.

One of Wade's hand's made its way down towards Peter's thighs. Squeezing with the perfect amount of force that made his muscles tense with pleasure.

_But he noticed Peter flinch under his hand._

_the brunette said absolutely nothing, though._

_So Wade didn't either._

The other hand still on the younger teens abdomen, using swift and pleasurable strokes to muster out quiet moans.

Peter's left hand was perched upwards on Wade's shoulder, wrapping blissfully around his neck. His right hand was running through the older males hair. With slow smooth motions that allowed each of his fingers to memorize the patterns of Wade's hair.

Their lips only broke contact to reposition every couple of seconds. With that small window of time, Peter managed to mumble out a sentence.

"We need... to establish.... some... ground... rules." He moaned. It was hard to speak with Wade so close to him. The sensations the older teen gave made him feel weightless. He had an overpowering sense of bliss as their bodies were intertwined.

"Mhmm..." Wade kissed. "Ground....rules.."

It was hard to think given Peter's current situation. His mind felt like it was stuck in an endless cycle of how much he wants Wade.

"You have to... I have to... We have to..." Peter tried, but he couldn't. Speaking and thinking of logical responses were impossible. His thoughts felt like they didn't belong to him anymore.

"Just...shut...up.," Wade whispered.

They both lost track of time. Everything else that was on their mind became non-existent the longer they stayed close to each other. The moans, the grunts, and the small whimpers were the only sounds filling up the empty classroom.

It was relatively quiet before they heard the door knob jiggle and then open. They looked at each other for a millisecond before fumbling with each other's hands, desperately trying to pull away.

A student walked in and turned her gaze towards them before sitting down in her seat. Wade awkwardly cleared his throat and pretended to be admiring the blank wall. Peter was faced down, rocking his feet back and forth.

Soon after the first student came in, other teenagers started flooding up the classroom in large clumps. Peter hopped off of the desk and cleared his throat, he realized he should get to class too. He stood next to Wilson, pretending to admire the wall with him.

"I guess... I'll see you..later.." He said casually.

"Yep.." Wade agreed.

Right when Peter was about to leave the classroom, a large arm wrapped around his waist, pulling him backward. He turned around towards Wade, before he could say anything, a small kiss landed on his forehead.

"Don't be late." Wilson mused.

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

A grin was plastered on Peter's face after he left the classroom.

_Wade kissed him._

_In public._

Maybe no one noticed, but that wasn't the point to Peter. Maybe Wade was finally ready to come out about their relationship. They would finally be able to hold hands inside of the hallways and give each other goodbye kisses before class. They could truly be together without Peter having the gnawing fear inside of him that he wasn't good enough. The real reason why Wade doesn't want to be seen in public with him was that he was embarrassed by Peter.

He was making his way to his history class when his thoughts were interrupted by a scream behind him.

"PETER!"

"STRING BEAN!"

_'The fuck?'_

When Peter saw who was behind him, his smile fell. 

It was MJ.

Her brows were furrowed and her face was about as red as her hair. Her body was overflowing with a fiery sea of anger that caused Peter to take a couple defensive steps back. It was pretty rare that Peter actually saw her in the mornings. She was either out with her friends, or stalking Wade and his friends.

_'It's okay.. play it cool..'_

"Hey MJ..." Peter said awkwardly.

Once she approached she crossed both of her arms over her chest. "Did you really think I wouldn't notice?" 

"Are you that stupid?"

_'Oh shit.. did she see me with Wade?'_

_'Play it cool.'_

"What did I do this time?" He asked, cluelessly.

Her eyes were burning right through his like they were trying to scan for lies the brunette may be telling.

"I saw you.." she gritted her teeth. "With him."

The brunette took another tiny step back. He fluttered his eyelids in confusion. "Him? Who is 'him'?" He stuttered.

"Are you blind? Wade, you idiot!"

' _Oh.'_

"Do you remember what I told you about him?" She asked.

The brunette shifted his weight nervously. "That he's alpha and totally relationship material?" He replied."You talk about him a lot."

It seemed like Peter's words just made her even angrier. "How I said that he wouldn't want someone like you?"

"Don't you dare think that something could happen between the two of you."

"What do you mean by someone like me?" Peter asked defensively. He knew he wasn't the most attractive or funniest person to be around. But he wasn't too bad of a person.

She scoffed. "Are you serious?" She asked. "Look at yourself!" 

"You're..." She trailed off, struggling to find the right words. "You."

"You're not... good enough for someone like Wade. He's actually... a healthy and happy person."

"It wouldn't make sense for him to get in a relationship with someone who can satisfy all of his needs, Y'know?"

"No offense... but... you're... just... not like us. I don't know why you think that you and Wade could actually be friends."

"It's simply not going to work out. His lifestyle would be too much for you to handle."

"I'm not trying to be mean." She shrugged. "I'm just being honest."

_'She's a good person, she really is. She just lacks a verbal filter.'_

_'Be kind, always.'_

He took a deep breath in and averted his eyes. Today had been going so well, and now MJ had to come along and throw one of her temper tantrums. "Alright, well.." he murmured. "Thanks for the heads up."

"I'm going to go to class.."

When Peter turned around and began walking away, MJ held onto his hood, pulling him back towards her."

"Look string bean," She began. "I'm telling you the truth. I'm looking out for you so you don't get hurt."

"Couldn't of have said it a little bit nicer?" The brunette asked. 

"No." She said. "I had to put it bluntly so you would understand. It's not going to work out between you two, so don't even try, okay?" It sounded like she was pleading Peter not to talk to Wade.

And deep down, he kinda knew why.

"MJ..." Peter lied. "There's nothing going on between Wade and I."

"As you've said before." He murmured, trying to hide the pain in his voice. "He wouldn't want someone like me anyway."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

By the time Peter entered his history class, he was already late. He was fortunate enough that his history teacher wasn't in the class yet. This wasn't the first time he had been late to the first period.

He found his usual empty spot next to Gwen. She didn't notice he walked in until he sat down next to her.

She smacked her book playfully on his shoulder. "How do you get to school early and still manage to be late?" She asked.

He could always count on Gwen to keep him in line. "Two words.." he murmured. Turning his head to look her directly in the eye.

"Wade Wilson?" She asked.

Peter shook his head. "Mary Jane."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

Gwen met up with Peter after the last class before lunch. When they approached the cafeteria, their eyes went straight to their table. Usually, MJ's fiery red hair was a beacon for their destination, but she was nowhere to be seen. They walked together past the crowd of people to sit down in their seats. Gazing around the cafeteria.

"Maybe she's not here.." Peter guessed, shrugging his shoulders. In all honesty, he didn't really mind if she wasn't here. Having a break from the remarks she would bluntly make about him didn't seem so bad.

"Nope.." Gwen laughed. She nudged Peter's arm, turning his attention towards the cafeteria doors. "She's stealing your man.."

The brunette turned his attention towards the crowds of kids walking in. He was confused for a while before he noticed it. He ignored the swarm of jocks lingering around and focused on them. MJ skipped in, smushed between Wade and his friends. Her over excited features made her look like a giddy child. From a distance, it looked like Wade's arm was wrapped lovingly around her.

But if anyone was close enough, they could easily tell that MJ's arms were forcing Wade's arm around her waist. The jocks around him didn't even seem to notice, but Wade looked so uncomfortable it was hilarious. His other hand kept trying to remove MJ from him, but that didn't work. All she did, was hold on tighter, attempting to snuggle her head into his chest.

"Wow.." Peter laughed sarcastically. "MJ is putting up one tough competition.."

The duo watched Wade and MJ sit down. She was practically sitting on his lap, using her hands to stroke through his hair. Wade kept moving his head away from her arm, but it was no use. Red just kept moving along with him.

Some girl was hitting on Peter's boyfriend and his first expression was to laugh? The brunette thought himself as crazy.. but the watching Wade seem so nervous and self-conscious, put a smile on his face. The king of cockiness finally knows what it's like to feel embarrassed.

Peter turned his attention back to his bag and pulled out his daily medicine. His hunger was.. decent.. but, cafeteria food, was a definite not. And he may have been too distracted texting Wade this morning that he forgot to pack his lunch. But the numerous conversations with Wade were worth it.

Peter placed the pills into his mouth and took a small sip of water. Right when he was about to say something to Gwen, she beat him to it. "Your damsel in distress needs saving."

The brunette raised his eyebrow and turned his attention to Wade, who was staring right at him. His hazel eyes were pleading, as his facial features dropped.

' _Help_ ' he mouthed.

The younger teen shook his head, trying to hide the large grin forming on his face. All he did was put a shaky thumbs up.

 _'You got this.'_ He mouthed back.

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

Peter was grateful that he got to class on time today. He and Wade met up after lunch, and may or may not have snuck off into another empty classroom. 

When they arrived, they took their seats which were closer than they needed to be. Their thighs and their shoulders were pressed together. They were holding hands under the table, giving each other slight squeezes here and there. This was probably the only class Peter actually liked. Not only was it pretty easy, but it was the only class where he could get stared at, and not _really_ care.

It was like Wade's presence was a shield. Blocking all of the insecure thoughts that roamed around Peter's head. Whenever he got stared at, he felt less about himself, like he was flawed, or defective. But when Wade looked at him with his beautiful hazel eyes, it made the brunette feel like an equal.

"Welcome, Class," Mr.Banner said. "I hope you all skipped lunch today."

He stepped to the side and revealed a large glass container. Peter squinted his eyes to see the pinkish glob that rested inside. It was the size of a boulder, and it looked like it weighed the same too. Dozens of red lines were running through it, staining the overall pinkish color, red.

It looked like there were two pieces that were attached together because one flap was overlapping the other. All the other students craned their heads to get a closer look, but not Peter. He turned his head to look away, he didn't know what his eyes were staring at, but it made his stomach churn and his insides crawl.

"This..." Mr.Banner began, he had a matter of fact tone and his facial features seemed proud of the lump in the glass box. "Is a cow lung."

_'Cow... lung...?'_

_'A lung... of a cow..'_

The teacher continued. "If you would please exit your seats. We will examine it inflating and deflating. I believe that having a first-hand look at the anatomy will enhance the learning experience and enrich our understanding."

The other teens rushed out of their seats, practically tripping over each other like wild animals. They were trying their best to get a front row view of the animal organ in front of them.

But not Peter. He sat completely still. Looking anywhere else but the cow remains in front of him.

A hand was placed on the teen's shoulders, breaking him away from his trance with the tile floors of the classroom.

"Are you coming, baby boy?"

Peter cleared his throat. "Yeah.." he muttered. "Y-Yeah of course.. s-sorry... I was just thinking.."

The angsty teen took shaky steps out of his seat. He could hear his heart hammering inside of his chest, sending painful throbs through each of his limbs. His clammy hands started to tremor violently, he had to hold them down to keep the movements at bay.

He and Wade were in the back since most of the other students were trying to get as close as possible to the glass box. Even with the numerous amount of people blocking him, he still saw glimpses of _it._

The bloody sac, gradually expanding and deflating every couple of seconds. The long, thick stands of tissue stretching out to their maximum potential, looking like they could tear any second. And then deflating a couple seconds later. The process repeated itself over and over again while Mr.Banner continued his lecture.

But Peter had lost track a long time ago. The voices began to echo, all of the noises around him slowly became quieter and quieter.

"The air... contains oxygen and... gases. Once in the lungs... oxygen.... into the bloodstream and carried... bo-"

A ringing gradually became louder in his ears. The high pitched sound made his head feel fuzzy. His eyes started seeing black spots, he tried to blink them away, but it was no use.. they only became bigger and bigger:

He felt like his body was underwater. Everything was blurry and muffled. He kept trying to blink away all of the distractions to get his vision back, but it was just a mixture of blank spots and smudges of color. The room started to spin, it was becoming harder to open his eyes after he closed them by blinking.

His body began to shut down. Everything became slower and slower. His mind and his mouth felt disconnected. No matter how hard he tried to form any words, only pathetic sounds came out.

"W-Wade.." He tried. "I c-can't... I c-c-can't.."

The brunettes chest took slow deep breaths in and out, attempting to suck in as much oxygen as possible. He was trying to remember the breathing exercises that Tony had taught him, but his thoughts didn't belong to him anymore. The only thing on his mind was that he was breathing at the exact same rate as the lung displayed in front of him.

_He inhaled._

_It inhaled._

_He exhaled_.

_It exhaled._

After a while, she couldn't feel his chest, he couldn't feel anything. His heart stopped and his lungs were still, his whole body was numb. Overwhelming flashes of nausea flew through Peter's body. He couldn't see.. he couldn't hear.. he couldn't breathe.. he couldn't think.. he couldn't.. he couldn't...

_Everything went black._

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

_  
"Is he dead?"_

"No, he isn't dead.. he is still breathing."

_"Oh my god it's been like seven minutes.. he's dead isn't he?"_

"It's only been two minutes! He isn't dead!"

"Peter..I know you can hear me..."

The brunette slowly regained consciousness. He and his eyes were still fighting the battle for dominance. He wanted to keep them open, while they wanted to close. He was slowly possessing control of his limbs piece by piece, but overall, he was still numb. Peter blinked rapidly, attempting to get rid of the tiny dots of darkness that still remained in his vision.

His spotty eyesight focused on a set of hazel eyes staring at him with concern stitched into them. A warm hand gripped onto the side of his face, shaking with the slightest motions like Peter was made out of glass.

Peter brought a shaky hand up towards the ones pressed onto his face. When they were up close, he never really noticed how beautiful Wade was. The way his skin was flawless and his cheek bones looked like they were crafted by gods. The tiny increments of freckles that consisted and his soft pink lips they looked like they were gifts from the heavens.

"Wade?" Peter moaned. He was confused, why was Wade so close to his face? And why was he feeling so sore? "What's going on?"

Wilson turned his expression from Peter to their teacher. "He is awake.."

_'I'm awake? What?'_

The brunette scanned his surroundings. He saw the legs of tables and chairs. He also noticed the shoes of all of his classmates.

_'I'm on the... floor?'_

He attempted to sit up, but vertigo overpowered his recovering vision. The room began to spin in several circles which made him close his eyes for a little while. 

He instinctively brought one of his hands to his forehead. But he pulled away when he felt something warm, thick and wet. He stared at his hand as a gnawing fear found its way inside of his body.

His four fingers were drenched in his blood. The red liquid started pouring down to his palm. All he did was stare silently, he didn't know what to say. He hadn't seen this much of his blood since...

"Hey baby boy.." a low voice whispered, his lips were against Peter's ear. "Let's get you out of here.."

Wison used his strength pull Peter off of the ground. The brunette was using one hand to hold onto Wade for dear life, and the other was turning white from gripping too hard on the table. When he looked up from his feet, he felt his face flush red. The whole class was staring right at him. Most of their eyes were wide, but some were even covering them. The room was dead silent, but Peter managed to hear some whispers from the other students.

_"That dude is like.. really pale.."_

_"That's...a lot of..blood.."_

The teacher had to push his way past the numerous amounts of people crowding Peter and Wade. He squinted his eyes to get a good look at the brunette. His face went pale too, and his eyes were tempted to look away. He used his finger tips to turn Peter's head and examine the wound as much as he could before he couldn't look anymore. He cleared his throat and gave his attention to Wade.

"Would you..be alright with...taking him to the nurse?"

_A devilish half smile rose to Wade's lips. "It would be my pleasure."_


	8. He Couldn't Get Out

"You know.." Wade cleared his throat. "I can just carry you.."

The pair had been walking in the hallway for only a couple minutes. Peter's arms were wrapped tightly around Wade's waist, holding on for dear life. Both of them knew that if Peter loosed his grip just the slightest, his body would plummet to the ground.

His head was buried into Wade's chest. The chocolate eyes were shut. When they were open, the room twirled and his head sent painful pulses that shook his whole body.

It was hard enough to walk in a straight line. His feet were stumbling over one another. They lost most of their feeling a while ago as they were blindly stepping on the ground. His legs were flimsy as they barely had enough strength to keep him upright.

His throat felt like burning sandpaper was ripping through it, it was difficult to form words. "N-No..." He croaked. "I-I'm f-fine.."

"Peter...You fell and bashed your head on the ground.." Wade sighed. "You're bleeding."

"But I'm okay... I'm doing just fine.." The teen moaned into Wilson's chest.

"Look at your hands, genius."

Hazy chocolate eyes made their way back down to his hands. He had to cram his neck to peer behind Wade. There were slight traces of blood that were in the process of drying. It coated his right hand and stained his left. The thick substance caused them to stick together.

Peter made the stupid mistake of removing his hands from Wade's body to get a better look. He was upright for only a second before he almost collapsed onto the ground.

In a swift motion, the brunette's body was slung bridal style into Wade's arms.

Peter objected, he started to squirm around. The only thing his mind went to, was the thought of people seeing them...together like this. Wade carrying his partly unconscious body to the nurse's office like it was no big deal. "Wade.." He moaned. "S-Stop... I can..walk.."

"Sure you can, baby boy."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

Wade let Peter down a couple of steps before they reached the nurse. The brunette stumbled in with Wilson's arms keeping him up. He was on the edge of tipping over. The light was blinding to Peter's sensitive eyes as he felt them burn right through his corneas.

The red haired nurse at the desk turned her attention towards the teens approaching her. She took one look at Peter's head and her eyes widened. "What happened?" She asked.

"He fell," Wade responded. "The cow lung."

A hidden smile rose onto the nurses face. She turned behind her to an older looking woman who seemed to be caring for another ill faced student.

"We've got another one." She yelled.

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

  
Wade and Peter made their way towards one of the white beds. Wade helped set the younger teen get comfortable. The nurse offered to clean up the blood on the brunette's head, but Wade refused. The hazel eyed male said that he could do it. The nurse was okay with it, but Peter wasn't.

Wade began to carefully wipe the red liquid staining the side of Peter's face, but the younger teen kept fidgeting. He kept moving his head backward or trying to take the cloth from Wade's hands.

"No.." He whispered. "You don't have to do this for me... I c-can do it."

Wilson gently smacked Peter's eager hand away. "I got it." He whispered. "Just sit still." He laid swift strokes on the wound, cleaning the blood as painlessly as possible.

Once Wade was done, he got a square white band-aid and placed in on Peter's forehead. "There.." He gushed, admiring his work. "You're all better now."

"T-Thanks.." the younger teen mumbled. He was happy that there wasn't any more blood pooling out of his body, but his head still felt like jackhammers were repeatedly smashing into his skull.

Peter groaned, closing his eyes. He brought one of his hands to try to massage the side of his face with slow circular motions. But it seemed with each attempt he tried to reduce the pain in his skull, it only made him feel worse.

Wade placed comforting, steady arms on Peter's shoulders. "Maybe you should lie down.." He offered. His voice had a soothing aura of compassion that had the usual sarcastic tone.

"N-No... Wade..." The brunette weakly refused. "I-It's fine... I'm fine.."

Wade cocked an eyebrow. "Really?" He asked sarcastically. "You're absolutely fine?"

The teen nodded. But each movement felt like his brain was rattling in his skull.

"How many fingers am I holding up?"

Peter fluttered his eyes open halfway, instantly regretting the choice. The piercing bright lights felt like they were ripping through his eyes.

"Um... four?...six?... I don't know... I'm seeing two blurry visions of you right now.." Peter admitted.

A humorless laugh escaped Wilson's lips as he pressed his hands on Peter's shoulders, gently motioning him backward. "Just lie down, baby boy."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

Wade was sitting down next to Peter's body, running a steady hand through the minuscule brown curls. It was relatively silent between the pair, besides the whimpers of discomfort that would come from Peter every couple of seconds. Whenever Wilson would ask him if he was okay, he would get a breathless reply from the brunette.

It hurt him to see Peter like this. Of course, he knew that his baby boy would be okay, but seeing him in pain, made his body feel like thousands of pounds were forcefully pulling downwards, leaving an unbearable pain in its wake. Giving his eyes the urge look away, and his breathing becoming slightly difficult.

He knew that he hadn't known Peter for very long, but if there was one thing that he was sure of, It was that he loved Peter with everything he has.

But he felt like his love meant nothing if Peter was suffering and he couldn't do anything about it.

"H-How about I get you some ice?" He offered.

A clammy, cold hand wrapped its self around Wilsons wrist. The grip was feeble, but the vulnerability that came from the owner's voice was strong enough to keep Wade in place.

"N-No..." Peter whispered. "Y-You don't need to do this.."

"You...shouldn't have...to take care of me.."

Wade scanned his surroundings before placing a quick kiss on Peter's forehead. "Just rest.... I'll be right back."

Moments later, Wade returned with an icy blue bag. He sat back down next to Peter and gradually pulled his hand away from the band-aid and replaced it with an ice pack.

"That feels better, doesn't it?" He asked.

"Much.." Peter agreed.

"Just let me know if anything starts to hurt again, alright?"

"Yeah...Yeah..of course.." He agreed shakily.

Wade was just watching him, Peter. Breathing slowly in and out. His pale skin contrasting his overall dark scheme. To Wilson, The smaller teen looked so fragile, like his physique was made out of porcelain glass. And With any forceful touch, it could shatter into dozens of pieces. But Wade knew that it wasn't true. He may not have known much about Peter's past, but he knew that it was far different than his. The only fragments that he could put together, was that he used to be in pain, he suffered tremendously, but he was still here.

_He survived._

A cold feeling that crept onto Wade's hands interrupted him from his thoughts. He thought Peter's hand was trying to establish dominance over the ice pack, but he was wrong. When he gazed downward, he saw the smaller hand intertwine with his.

_They were holding onto the ice pack, together._

  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

Peter drifted off a while ago, taking light breaths in and out. Wade was just holding onto his hand.

It was evident how much Peter had gone through. But that didn't make him weak like most people partook him for. That he was too sick, too pale, too skinny, too small to accomplish anything. That he needed to wait on hand and foot because he was unable to do anything for him self.

But Wade knew that wasn't true.

He knew that Peter was strong, stronger than everyone he had ever met. And deep down, Wade knew that he didn't really deserve him, not really. He felt that if Peter found out about his past, he wouldn't be able to stand the sight of him. Considering his incidents with his compulsive drinking that would leave his wallet empty and so much alcohol flowing through his bloodstream that he would end up too drunk to remember his own name.

Or the mornings where he would awaken in someone's bed, girl or guy. His body naked and vulnerable. The dirty feeling creeping up his spine that he exposed his body to someone that he couldn't even remember the name to.

But that feeling had gone away after a while.  

He did it to try and forget, scrub his mind clean of all of the demons that threatened to rip him apart from the inside out. His playboy attitude and his alcohol addiction was his only escape, and then he decided that he didn't want to do that anymore.

He wanted a fresh start.

He wanted to remember what it was like, waking up and not being hungover. Opening his eyes in the morning to find himself fully clothed inside of his own bed. Or having someone that he could actually say he cared about in his arms during that day, and right next to him while he slept. That the feeling of the soul crushing self-loathing that followed him everywhere could somehow manifest into a sensation of life giving hope. Like it would eventually make him feel like he had something worth living for, and he was someone worth saving.

"Peter?!" A frantic voice called.

Wade glimpsed behind him and saw Tony Stark talking to a nurse, when she pointed her finger towards Wilson's direction, he whipped his attention back towards Peter, attempting to bring him back to consciousness.

"Wake up.."

"Pete.." he whispered.

Chocolate eyes came back to life, they rested halfway open, slowly scanning around the hospital. They were distantly staring right at Wade.

"Wade...?"

"Hey.." Wilson mused. "You're finally going home."

The brunette cocked an eyebrow in confusion. "I don't want to go home yet..." He whispered, tightening his grip on Wade's hand. "I want to stay here... with you.."

"You can't... I'm sorry..but I'll see you soon."

"Please don't-"

"Oh my god, Peter!" Tony interrupted. He quickly made his way towards his son's body. Holding one of his hands and slightly patting the side of his face.

"Can you hear me?" He asked.

Hazy eyes focused their attention on Tony. "H-Hey... Dad.."

"How did this happen?"

"I ummm... biology.... there was....this thing..." Peter mumbled on, but he was lost for words. His mind was far away and his mouth was mustering out the only thing he could think of.

"He fell.." Wade interrupted politely.

Tony turned his attention to the other teen sitting next to his son. His eyes widening when he heard the word 'fell'. "Is he hurt? Is he okay? Is it bad?"

"No, no it's not bad..there was some bleeding but he is okay.."

Relief flushed over Stark's face. "Thank god.." he murmured. "Are you a nurse?"

"N-No.. my name is-"

The brunette finally gathered up enough energy to say something even though he was having trouble remembering where he was. "W-Wade.." He whispered to his father. "His name is Wade.."

The older man was filled with a warm gratitude that Wade had never even seen his own father give to him. "Thank you.." Stark began "For staying with him."

"Anytime.." he said.

Stark resumed his attention towards his son. "Time to go home." He whispered. He used one of his hands to help Peter sit up from the bed. The eyelids containing the chocolate brown eyes were squinted with the occasional groans that left his lips.

"You're okay.." Tony whispered.

Wade didn't want to, but he gradually removed his hand from Peter's. He repositioned it on his sides, trying his best to keep the brunette from falling back down.

Eventually, Tony and Wade got Peter off of the bed. He stumbled a little bit when his feet reached the ground, but luckily, Wilson was by his side making sure that he didn't collapse.

One of Peter's arms were wrapped around his father's neck, attempting to keep himself from tipping over. The other hand was still gripped tightly on the ice pack.

"How are you holding up, Pete?" Tony asked.

"F-Fine.." He mumbled into his dad's shoulder. "I'm fine.."

Wade watched Peter and his father take careful steps towards the door. The brunette turned his head a little bit, letting a small grin come from his lips.

_'Thank you.'_ He mouthed.

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

Steve was already home when Peter and Tony arrived. The blond was pacing back and forth in the living room, worry evident on his face.

When Tony lugged Peter's practically limp body inside, Steve rushed over and cupped his hands on his son's face. He was turning it left and right, until he finally found it, The white band-aid that covered up his wound.

"My god... Pete..what happened?" he breathed. "The school called told me that you fainted.."

The teen tried to focus his eyes, but all he saw were two blurry figures of Steve. His eyes wanted to close because the disconnect between his mind and body made him feel nauseated.

"I-I'm fine..." He mumbled. "I just...need to lie down."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

Peter was lying in his bed, attempting to fall asleep.

But he couldn't.

He had been tossing around for hours, flipping the sides of his pillow, and even attempting to close his eyes and stay completely still. But the voices inside of his mind were too loud. They didn't want him to drift away, not yet.

The brunette even tried getting out of bed and walking around his room to physically exhaust himself, but that didn't work either.

He kept thinking about biology class and that cow lung. He never remembered himself being so squeamish. He knew that he had seen plenty of worse things.

Like when he was practically on his death bed in the hospital. Watching the bloody fluid flow out of his lungs into a clear container that always seemed like it was about to overflow.

Or the look on his parents faces as they came in every day pretending that everything was okay. Their facial features were filled with the false hope that Peter would wake up the next morning in perfect health.

But when Peter was still awake and didn't have enough energy to open his eyes. That's when he knew how his parents really felt. Their true emotion hidden behind the smiles and the fake laughs.

How Tony would sit on his hospital bed, holding his bony hand as softly as possible. Guilt ridden sobs leaving his lips and the numerous amounts of tears that left the bed stained. Peter wanted to cry too, he wanted to squeeze his father's hand and say that everything would be alright, but he couldn't.

He was too tired.

Tony kept apologizing, Over and over again.  
______________________________________  
_"I'm so sorry that I can't save you. Please forgive me."_  
____________________________________

Peter knew it wasn't his fault, it was nobody's fault. These types of things just happened out of random. There's nothing that he could do about it, so he just had to try his best to make everything alright. And the sooner Peter got that concept through his head, the easier the ride will be. That's what Harry always told him.

He had a hard time believing that. Whenever he saw a glimpse of his appearance, he wanted to look away. His body resembled bone with a thin layer of pale flesh covering it. Dark circles resided under his eyes that made him look exhausted even though he was asleep most of the time. He was weak, he was sick, he was dying.

_And his parents couldn't even touch him, not really._

The nurses said the chemotherapy would be absolutely painless. They obviously lied to make him feel better. The "treatment" left burning flares of pain the ripped through his muscles and seemed to seep down into his bones. Causing a deep ache that made slightest movements and touches unbearable.

On his lucky days, his legs were completely numb. He knew that it wasn't normal, but he didn't have a problem with it. Because on his unlucky days, shooting shock waves of agony would travel up his legs. It felt like thousands of knives were forcefully slicing through. Tearing through every cell, ripping through each strand of muscle, and splitting open his skin.

One day, he just couldn't handle it anymore. Pools of tears were streaming down his face as whimpers were coming from his mouth. He was crying, begging his parents to have the doctors to permanently take the pain away.

_He was screaming for his parents to cut off his legs._

Peter closed his eyes and shook his head. Silent streams of tears fell from his face and stained his pillow. He didn't want to try and remember the rest.

Shaky breaths recalled words his father said to him during the rough days and nights at the hospital. When Peter was on the edge of giving up.  

_"Smile even though your heart is aching... Smile even though it's breaking. When there are clouds in the sky, You'll get by If you smile through your fear and sorrow. Just smile and maybe tomorrow you'll see the sun come shining through...For you."_  
  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

When the brunette went downstairs the next morning, he finally felt like his old self. He wasn't seeing double, and he only had a small migraine. There was also a tiny ringing in his ears, but overall. He felt fine.

"Morning Dad.." He said. "Morning Pa."

They both turned their attention to their son, their smiles tried to mask up the nervousness written on their faces.

"How are you feeling?" Steve asked. "You know we're not going to try and force you to go to school if you're not feeling up to it."

The brunette shook his head, taking a seat at the dining room table. "No..its fine... I feel alright."

His parents nodded gratefully. Steve turned his attention back to the newspaper while Tony was rummaging through the fridge and cabinet.

"Are you in the mood for breakfast?" Stark asked.

Peter took quick glimpses at his parent's eyes. They were patiently waiting for a response. He knew how badly they wanted him to eat something. The sheer desperation that they possessed, made Peter feel even worse about himself.

Everything was his fault. His parent couldn't find happiness as long as he was around, he was just a burden.

Peter didn't want his health to cause them extra stress. His parents constantly worrying about him eating was wearing them down, mentally and emotionally. He knew they were willing to try anything in their power to get their son's hunger back.

Even by giving him appetite enhancer pills, but they all knew how that worked last time.

_'I have to eat..' Peter said to himself. 'If not for me... then for them..'_

"Yeah... I'm kind of hungry." He lied.

The brunette saw the features of his parents light up. As long as they were happy, he knew that he would find happiness.

A sigh of relief escaped Tony's lips. "I'm glad to hear that... I'll prepare you something."

"Thanks, Dad."

_Buzz_

_Buzz_

_Buzz_

** Notification From: Wade Wilson **

**"Are you coming to school today?"**

**"Yes," Peter replied.**

**"Great. Meet me in room 196 before class?"**

**"Why?"**

**"Just do it. And try not to faint up the stairs, will you?"**

**"Shut up."**

"Who are you texting?" Steve asked, placing the newspaper on the table.

"Oh...umm...my friend from biology."

Steve cocked an eyebrow, demanding a further explanation."What's their name?"

"His name is Wade..he was the one that helped me to the nurse yesterday.."

"He seems like a good kid." Tony chimed from the kitchen. "Hopefully we see more of him again? and maybe Steve can meet him?"

Peter nodded in agreement. "I hope so too."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

Gwen was waiting by Peter's locker by the time he arrived at the school. She was pacing back and forth, constantly glancing at her watch.

The brunette slowly approached her. "Hey Gwen.." mumbled. He internally prepared himself for whatever was about to happen next.

He almost lost balance when her arms wrapped around his body, pulling him into a gigantic hug. "Oh my god..." she breathed. "I'm so glad you're okay."

_'Why was she so worried?'_

"Yeah." He agreed, returning the gesture. "I'm absolutely fine, I promise."

She pulled away, using her fingers to turn his head and fully examine the wound.

"Gwen.." He asked, holding her wandering hand in his. "What's wrong? I'm okay.."

Her eyes had a hint of heaviness in them. The once green spark of life became nonexistent with a heart aching sadness that lingered through. "I heard that you fainted. And then you started bleeding."

"Yes but-"

"A lot."

"You could've gotten brain damage!" She exclaimed. "Or fractured your skull!"

"But I didn't. All I got was a terrible headache."

Before Gwen could even form a reply. A thunderous voice that came from behind interrupted their conversation.

"Hey, Rogers!" It yelled the voice possessed a mixture of authority and humor.

"Rogers!"

When Peter turned around, his good mood fell as he watched Flash approach him with his gang of jocks following him.

They stopped about a foot away from his body. Their menacing stares made Peter feel smaller than he already was. Their eagle eyes, looking at him up and down, tormenting him with the unknown thoughts that could be racing through their heads.

"Is it true?" Flash laughed.

_'Oh, shit.. did he find out about Wade and I?'_

Peter blinked in confusion, "What?"

"That you fainted?" He said, a wide grin forming on his face. He kept nudging his friends to laugh with him. "You actually fainted? And your father had to pick you up from school and take you home?"

Within a couple seconds, one of Flash's friends pretended to collapse onto the ground. He was wheezing violently, acting like he was unable to catch his breath.

He rose his voice a couple of octaves higher to imitate Peter's. "D-Dad.." He wheezed. "I-I c-c-ant b-breathe!"

Then, another jock pretended to be Peter's father. He let out a fake, loud gasp as he bent down and put his hand on the other jock's chest. "Someone call an ambulance! My son is having an asthma attack!"

Their little skit just made them laugh even harder. Their faces were turning red and tears were streaming down their eyes.

But Peter heard his heart in his ears. At first, it began to beat rapidly, but then it started to slow down. Eventually, he couldn't feel it...

_he couldn't feel his heart beating._

And all the sounds around him gradually became dull and quiet murmurs. He shifted his weight and pressed his hands onto one of the lockers to try and keep balance. His head was spinning as his skin began to burn with a fiery rage that made his skin feel moist. He stared in front of him, blinking rapidly trying to focus his vision, but nothing was working. His body was here, but his mind was somewhere else.

He felt like strong hands were grasped around his throat, stealing away his air supply. The color fell from his face and his hands started to tremble. His eyes soaked up distorted images of Flash and his gang laughing at him, but his mind dominated his vision, plaguing it with something else.

The night of Wade's party. Where he woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't breathe.

____________________________________  
"D-Dad... dad... I..."

"I... I... can't... I can't... br-breathe..."

Dizziness overwhelmed Peter's vision. He let out a quiet groan as his limbs felt weak, causing his hand to slip. With a split second, he collapsed down the stair case, landing on the marble floor with a loud bang. The blunt force traveled through out his body like shock waves of pure agony that made him cry out in pain and curl his body up into a ball.

Eventually, the pain in his chest was so intense that the feeling in all of his limbs went away. He couldn't feel his arms or his legs.

He couldn't move.

Ripping, burning, splitting, and pressuring all at the same time. His lung felt like large hands were tearing his chest open with an unmeasurable amount of strength, and then squeezing it with all of its force. Restraining any and all movement in his breaths, leaving Peter in a twitching, spazzing mess in which he prayed for death.

Dreamed of it.

Peter remembered his father's tearful brown eyes looking down at his face. "Kiddo... I need you to stay with me, alright?"

He whispered, "Kiddo... I need you to stay with me, alright?"

The brunette could never forget how much he wanted to die in that moment.  

 

____________________________________

His chest was tightening with more and more pressure each passing second. His body was trapped inside of a box that left him claustrophobic and weak. His air supply slowly began disappearing along with his sense of reality. He tried to calm himself down, but he couldn't. He can't move, he can't think, he can't speak. He was absolutely still, only pathetic sounds came from his mouth.

"I..I..I.."

His breathing started to stagger as he felt like he was about to lose consciousness. Every nerve in his body kept telling him that something terrible was going to happen. An overwhelming, crushing fear trapped him in his own little world of uncontrollable horror.

_It was like he was reliving that night all over again._

Flash continued on, "Are you having trouble breathing now?" He asked sarcastically. "Should we call your mother to pick you up this time?"

"Oh wait," he smirked. "You don't have one."

' _I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die.'_

"FLASH!" Gwen spat. "You're such a selfish narcissist, You know that?"

The jocks started making oohing noises behind the male blond. Flash started walking closer with a cocky smile on his face. He scanned her body up and down with his perverted eyes. "Why are you defending this loser? How about you join me in my bed at eight tonight? Bring all of your pretty friends too." He winked.

Gwen stood her ground and made her way in front of Peter. She was inches away from Flash. "Since narcissist is too big a word for you. How about asshole? Do you understand asshole?"

"Do I need to go on?" She said, raising an eyebrow.

"Whatever. Just let me know if you change your mind." He scoffed, moving past Gwen. He bumped his shoulder on Peter's harshly. "Asthma" he muttered, encouraging laughter from the goons following behind him.

"Hey," Gwen whispered. "Are you okay?"

_'I need to leave. I'm going to die. I can't breathe.I need to leave. I'm going to die. I can't breathe.I need to leave. I'm going to die. I can't-"_

"Peter!" Gwen shouted, shaking his shoulder. "Are you alright?"

The brunette whipped his attention towards her, gasping for air.

"I-I'm good." His voice staggered. It was barely a whisper. "I'm o-okay."

"Maybe we should sit down." Gwen offered, wrapping one of her arms around his waist. She moved his body towards one of the empty seats outside of a nearby classroom.

Peter buried his head in his hands. Taking slow breaths in and out, reminding himself how to breathe normally. Gwen laid continuous rubs on his back, trying her best to make him feel better.

"Sorry." The brunette apologized.

Gwen shrugged him off. "Don't be. Flash is a dick."

Peter didn't understand what just happened. One second he was fine, and then it was like he was reliving that night all over again. All of the panic and the anxiety that he once felt, came rushing back into his body. He was trapped inside of his own mind.

_He couldn't move_

_He couldn't speak_

_He couldn't breathe_

His thoughts weren't his anymore, they kept going back to the nightmarish memory of how he almost died.

"Does he do this often?" She asked.

"Yeah but..I usually just ignore him." Peter trailed off. "But this felt different... I-I- don't know why... or how.."

"You have to stand up for yourself."'she sighed. Wrapping both of her arms around him, embracing him into a hug.

"I know..." he mumbled.

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

After Peter had calmed down, he went to room 196. He opened the door of the empty classroom, scanning around left and right. Within seconds, his eyes finally landed on Wade. He was leaning on one of the desks, watching the sun from the outside.

Peter walked closer to him. "Hey...I didn't keep you waiting too long, did I?"

Wade turned and wrapped arms around Peter's sides. "No, not really..." He mused, kissing his forehead. "How's your head?"

The younger teen shrugged into Wilson's chest. "It feels okay, but it could be better.."

"Good.." He whispered. "Because we didn't finish our conversation from yesterday morning.."

The brunette lifted his head to face Wade. "What conversa-"

"Meeting your parents, remember?"

_'Oh, right.'_

"Well... How about next week?" Peter mumbled. "I could invite you over for dinner or something? If you're not busy.."

"How could I say no to that offer?"

Peter had to stand on his tip toes to hold the side of Wade's face in his hands to give him an unexpected kiss. "See you then.." he whispered.

_"See you then_."


	9. Make Me A Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One word for this chapter: SHOOK™

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Veronika for helping me get this chapter done. (｡･ω･｡)

The colder weather was quickly approaching. There was frost on Peter's windowsill when he woke up and icy cold air attacking his skin whenever he got out of bed. Peter didn't mind of course. In all honesty, he adored the colder months. The dozens of unique and glorious snowflakes leaving their beautiful white mark of the world. Brightening nature with its marvelous fragility, giving a sense of comfort that seeped through the layers of his skin and chilled his bones. The fresh winter wonderland made the snow form soft, light pillows on patches of grass and sidewalks.

As a young child, Peter would often stare out of his window. Whether he was at home or in a hospital, his mind would always wander to the thought of how it actually felt like. What the fresh white snow actually felt like on his bare skin.

It was such a shame. He was trapped inside during his favorite season. Apparently, the dry cold air would make his lung worse than it already was. The doctors said that it would make it harder to breathe due to the brittle characteristics of the outdoors. So most days, Peter would sit on the edge of his bed and stare. His eyes were pressed to the other children outside. They would make snow angels and snowmen with their mothers and fathers. The brunette would stare with hints of jealousy and amusement in his eyes. They all looked so happy and joyful. Their smiles cracked a one on Peter's lips, just a little bit.

He would then press one of his palms to the window and the coldness sent ice through his fingertips and into his limbs. He would close his eyes and imagine the life he always dreamed of. Himself surrounded by dozens of friends and dozens of family members with by the beauty of the heavenly white scene in front him.

And before he knew it, tears would stream down his closed eyelids. His illness denied him things that many people took for granted.

Basic things he would never experience. He tried to remember a time when he was normal, but he couldn't. He couldn't remember a time when he didn't hate himself when he was looking at other people. Healthier than him, stronger than him, and happier than him.

His parents listened to everything that the doctors said even with extra precautions. After a while, Tony and Steve grew worried of watching Peter sit so close to the window for hours every day. They were worried about his mental and physical health. They thought comparing himself to other kids was saddening, they didn't want him to feel sorry for himself anymore.

 _So eventually, they didn't allow him to_.

He wasn't allowed to even sit next to a window or go outside. At first, he felt trapped inside of his body. He had no control over what happened as he was forced to gradually succumb to the cancer spreading around in his lungs. But once his body became stronger, he realized life was just an infinite amount of prisons. Once you break out of one, it will lead to another and the vicious cycle will just repeat over and over again. Until eventually, you die.

And in the hospital, Peter gave this idea some thought. When his already limited days seemed to reach their final numbers, would the coffin be the prison of his soul?  The hole he was buried underground? or would his soul stay stuck inside of his body for eternity because there was nowhere else to go?

_Prison after prison after prison._

He and his family weren't very religious, and Peter knew that he could never be. He used to think that if there was a God out there, then he must _really really_ hate him. Every time he seemed to get better, he would fall ill again. His parents often got preachers and grief counselors from numerous amounts of churches giving words of attempted encouragement.

_"This is God's will"_

_"God won't give him more than he can handle."_

_"God is in control, he arranged this. Everything happens for a reason._

And Peter often thought, _'If all of this stuff is true... then why?'_

The question roaming through his head, eating away at his brain for months was simple. _'Why would God, a being filled with an infinite amount of grace, glory, and love, do this to my family and I? Why isn't he helping me get better?'_

A child with stage four lung cancer didn't seem like a "Will", It was a death sentence.

He kept wondering what he did wrong.. what he did to deserve...this. He would pray for hours every day, begging to get better.. or he wished that when he finally died, his parents working be okay.  
But nothing happened. His health fluctuated every other month or so. The cancer was stable, the cancer was unstable. He was drowning, and then he wasn't drowning. He was expected to live for a couple more months, and then a couple of days.

_But eventually, he just stopped._

_He stopped wondering._

_He stopped questioning._

_He stopped breathing a couple times._

_He stopped praying to a God that he didn't believe in anymore._

_╳_ ╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

Peter hesitantly made his way down towards the basement. It was a cold Sunday evening. He had spent most of the day thinking about how he could possibly ask his parents about how they feel meeting Wade. He was supposed to have this talk with them a few weeks ago, but he was a major procrastinator. He felt like shit when ever he came to school and told Wade that he didn't ask his parents considering how eager Wilson seemed to actually meet them for once.

But Peter was scared.

He was terrified at the thought of Wade coming over and then Tony and Steve ending up not liking him. Or something terrible happens, and then his parents don't want him seeing Wade anymore.

 _'Shut up.'_ He murmured to himself. _'That's the worst case scenario.'_

He found himself downstairs inside of his massive basement. There were numerous amounts of guest bedrooms, bathrooms, and old boxes filled with things that they never unpacked from their old home. They had always lived in New York, but Peter's parents thought it was a good idea to move out of the public eye to protect him.

After he got diagnosed with cancer, they had to move to a more remote, private location. They lived in a large house that was hidden within a heavily forested area. They weren't that far away from the real world, but no one really knew where they lived, and they all wanted to keep it that way. With Tony being the CEO of a multi billion dollar company, they didn't want any of the extra attention directed towards Peter at a young age in such a fragile state.

There was an open doorway which leads into a gigantic home theatre. His eyes moved towards his parents sitting on the couch. Tony was wrapped under Steve's arm. His smaller body tucked protectively into the larger one. They had a burgundy blanket draped over their lower bodies, even though it seemed like Tony was stealing most of it. His head was resting on Steve's shoulder. They had genuine smiles on their faces, and for once their voices didn't sound worrisome.

Peter thought that this was one of the only moments when his parents could finally be happy. Because at this exact moment, there was no proof that Peter ever existed. It was just Steve and Tony, alone together. They way it should've been, they way it would've been if Peters body could've been normal and If his lungs could function properly like their supposed to.

The only thing his parents would have to worry about is if Peter got to school on time or if he did his homework. Not if one night he would wake up screaming because of the fluid filling up his lungs or that the cancer might come back one day, and he may not wake up at all.

Tony's face had a massive smile spread across it. He was laughing like he didn't have a care in the world. Then, he leaned upwards and gave Steve a warm kiss that was filled with so much love. Peter hadn't seen them this close, or shown each other this much affection, in well... ever.

The affection they had for the each other lit up the entire room. Especially when Steve laid dozens of tiny kisses all over Tony's face in return. All of this, felt contagious because Peter felt like smiling too.

_It was something he hadn't seen often._

_Before he used to wonder why. Why did his parents always look so unhappy?_

_And then he figured out why._

Peter didn't want to bother them, not now of all times. But he had already delayed this conversation long enough. He knocked gently on one of the doors, averting their attention from the large movie screen.

It broke Peter's heart when he saw the joyous expression on Tony's face fade. He lifted his head from his husband's shoulder, giving his full attention towards Peter. His voice was slightly frantic, and his eyes were scanning his son up and down, trying to see if there was anything visually wrong.

"Peter?" He asked. "Are you okay?"

"I'm absolutely fine." He reassured his parents. Maybe the root of their stress wasn't just from Peter, maybe it was from their constant fears that something was always wrong with him. Like for once in his life, they just couldn't believe that he was doing okay. It kinda hurt, too. "I just have a question.."

Both of his parents were staring at him with confusion and concern. "We're listening," Steve said.

"Is it okay if I invite a friend over for dinner tomorrow?

Steve's and Tony exchanged glances. Rogers seemed satisfied. Peter was finally experiencing things that he had never been able to. He was proud of him. Even though inviting a friend over for dinner may not seem like much, he was happy that Peter had someone to invite over. They were finally able to get to the point in their life where they could start acting like a 'normal' family.

"You have friends?" The blond joked.

Peter scoffed, crossing his arms. "Of course I do." He muttered pretending to get offended. "I have two friends."

The blond laughed. The same grin from before spreading across his face. The same smile that was filled with happiness, not reassurance.

_But Tony on the other hand..._

He just looked shocked. His eyebrows were raised as he kept blinking repeatedly in disbelief. He didn't think that he heard Peter correctly. His son shouldn't be focused on making friends and having them come over. He should be focused on himself. His health and his school work. He didn't want his son to get distracted with other teenagers.

"A friend?" He repeated. "Come over?"

"Do we know them?"

"What's their age?"

"What grade are they in?"

"Male or Female?"

By this point in Peter's life. He had gotten used to Tony's interrogation sessions whenever he even breathed someone else's name. He interrupted his father feeling embarrassed. He tried his best not to imagine Tony doing this to Wade.

"It's... Wade dad... Wade is coming over.."

Tony's tense features relaxed when he heard that familiar name. "Oh.." he nodded his head. "Well..um.okay then.."

"I'm excited to meet him." Steve agreed. "He seems like a good kid. Considering what happened with the biology incident earlier this year."

Peter internally cringed when he thought about that moment. When he fainted in biology and bled, it was so embarrassing. Not only did Flash and his gang continue to tease him about it, everyone in his biology class started treating him like he was even more fragile than usual. Considering there was a constant hand on his shoulder asking him if he was okay or if he felt like he was about to faint. He even had some guys in the back of the class that would snicker and fake their empathy whenever he walked past.

"Yeah.." Mumbled Peter.

"If that's all, how about you join us?" Tony asked, patting to an empty section on the couch.

Peter saw how happy they looked before he came down and interrupted. He felt like it just wasn't right for him to be there. Deep down, he always felt out of place. Like he was the one that constantly put his family in pain. Like his life was the equivalent of space, and he was a black hole that sucked up all of the stars and the planets. He felt like his presence left everything around him as dark and empty as he was.

He felt that he should at least let his parents get one day to themselves. So they could go back to a time in their lives when they were actually enjoying themselves. Not the way they are now, not like this.

Peter could see it in their eyes. He was physically and emotionally wearing them out. He knew because in the beginning when Peter was younger, they hid it really well. But as time flew, the barrier in their eyes that hid most of their emotion finally broke.

"No..it's fine.." Peter refused. "I have to study for um... math.. calculus actually..."

"Well.. we'll be down here. If you need anything, don't be scared to come down." Steve said.

"I won't, promise."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

When Peter returned to school the next morning, he met up with Wade. They walked together side by side. Wade was rambling about something, but Peter wasn't paying attention. He needed to apologize first of all. He knew how eager Wade was about meeting his parents. Ever since the biology incident, he hadn't ceased asking Peter if he could come over.

It's not that the brunette had a problem with Wade. It's just that he knew how Tony could get when Peter was even close to another person. He didn't want Wade to think that he and his family were weird. Cause they really weren't, not to him anyway.

"Wade," Peter said. "I have to apologize."

Wilson quirked an eyebrow. "For what?"

"You know..." Peter mumbled. "I kept postponing the day for you to meet Tony and Steve.."

"Well... you could just not."

"I finally asked them yesterday." Admitted Peter. He was internally praying for the day to have a decent outcome.

"What did they say?" Wade asked, his face lighting up. "Can I come over?"

"Tonight..." Peter said, raising a finger at Wade. "Don't be late..but you have to promise me something."

"Anything, what up?"

"Wear something nice. And don't kiss me in front of my parents."

Wade's expression fell to a tiny pout. "Why?" He complained. "I like kissing you."

"Because.." Pete began. "I want to tell them about our relationship first. And then you can kiss me all you want.. just don't embarrass me."

"You embarrass yourself naturally with your geekiness."

Peter slapped Wade's shoulder playfully. "You're a geek." He said. "I bet you play World Of Warcraft on Friday nights."

Okay, maybe he did. _Sometimes_.

"That because I don't want to socialize with my family." Wade cringed.

"Speaking of which.." Peter questioned. "When will I get to meet your parents?"

"What?"

"You're meeting mine... so it would only be fair if I met yours."

Wade shook his head. "Trust me... you're better off not meeting them."

"You're better off not meeting mine but I'm still letting you."

He knew he wasn't going to win, so he might as well just agree with what Peter says so they don't end up having an argument. "Fine then baby boy, you can meet them eventually."

"Eventually?" Peter questioned.

"Eventually," Wade repeated.

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

Luckily, the school day went by pretty quickly. Peter was walking out of his last period with Gwen and MJ. He was practically shaking. In only a couple hours Wade would finally meet his parents. And tonight, he had to tell them about their relationship. He couldn't keep this a secret any longer, he hated hiding things from them. The only thing he prayed for, was that Tony would keep himself under control until after Wade left. The last thing he would want is for the both of them to be harangued by his father.

MJ had been leading the conversation with a voice that seemed like it traveled for miles. Her face was filled with a dreamy smile. Her bright eyes were staring in front of her distantly like the scene she was imagining was playing in her head as he walked.

"Prom is coming up.." she swooned. She knew the only person she was going to take. The one guy that she had a crush on since she could remember. The one that she knew she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

Gwen seemed unamused and just bored with the conversation. "Umm... MJ?" She asked.

"Yeah?"

"It's winter." She explained slowly. "Prom isn't until the early spring."

"So?" She shrugged defensively. "There's no such thing as planning too early. I need to make sure that it's absolutely perfect."

"Why exactly?" Gwen asked. She already knew who her red haired friend was lusting over. There was no way in hell that Wade would take her to prom. Considering he was dating her best friend.

"Because.." She said with a matter of fact tone. "I'm going to get Wade Wilson to take me."

The word ' _Wade_ ' sparked Peter's interest into the conversation. If his red haired even said that name, he knew that the conversation would be worth while.

"W-Wade?" He questioned with small traces of disbelief. "You're going to get Wade to take you to prom?"

MJ tilted her head to gaze at Peter. "Of course I am." She said, flipping the red locks off of her shoulder. "Who else would he go with? We're.. perfect for one another."

"Right." Peter nodded along. "Well, good luck."

"I don't need it." She scoffed. "I know that he is going to say yes."

"Of course he is, Why wouldn't he?" Peter replied. He couldn't let MJ of all people know that he liked Wade, or that Wade liked him. He just had to play along with whatever said and agree with her distorted dream.

MJ narrowed her eyes. 'Was Peter of all people judging me?' She thought. He sounded like he didn't actually believe what MJ was saying, and it offended her. What did he know about high school, dates, or Prom for that matter? "Are you even going with anyone?" She asked.

Peter internally laughed at the thought. Him, a socially awkward teenager with two left feet at a school dance?

Recipe for disaster.

"Umm...no... I didn't even know there was a prom at this school." He said.

"Have you ever been to a high school dance?"

"No, but-"

"Then you shouldn't even worry about it." She rolled her eyes, ending the conversation. She turned her attention towards Gwen. "Are you going?"

"No." She stated. "Prom is stupid."

"You're just upset that you don't have a date," MJ said. When she paused for a couple moments, Peter could see the gears turning in her head. "How about you take Flash?"

Gwen scowled at someone she called her friend. "No." She muttered, there was a trace of venom inside of her voice. Out of all the people in the school, MJ wanted her to take Flash? He was a douchebag on legs that only cared about himself and how many weights he could lift. He didn't care about school and he had absolutely no moral values considering he bullied Peter just for the hell of it. Gwen knew she was better off taking a trash can as her prom date because that can of trash was nobler than Flash will ever be.

But MJ seemed to become more excited. "Why not?" She squeaked. "If I go with Wade, and you go with flash, it could be just like a double date! Can't you see how much he likes you?"

"Flash is an asshole." The blond grumbled. The disgust evident in her features. "A narcissistic asshole."

"No, he isn't," MJ objected. "He is one of the selfless guys I know, besides Wade of course."

Before Gwen could respond, MJ's features brightened as she stared giddily in front of her. "Speaking of which, here he comes! -- HEY FLASH! OVER HERE!"

_'Oh god, no.'_

It was the beginning of Winter, and Flash and his gang of two other guys seemed to be wearing tank tops? Red ones that had their last names written on it. With blue duffle bags that looked like they could weigh more than Peter resting on their shoulder. Flash had a cocky smile on his face as he ushered his gang to follow behind him.

"Here comes team tank top," Peter mumbled to Gwen.

The blonde let out a staggered laugh. It started off small like she was trying to hide it. But it just ended up becoming louder and louder.

Gwen's laugh seemed to be contagious because Peter fouled himself giggling too.

MJ side eyed Peter and mouthed ' _Shut up_ ' before turning her attention to Team Tank Top. "Hey Flash!" She greeted.

"Sup MJ?" He smiled. He looked towards Gwen and used his perverted eyes to scan her up and down. "Hey, cutie. I didn't know you were this excited to see me."

He turned towards Peter and let out a taunting laugh. "Hey, Asthma."

Peter wouldn't let Flash out of all people get to him. He had been called worse things before.

"So, Gwen?" Flash said. "Did you get my calls?"

Gwen pulled out her phone. "Whoops, my phone has been dead for two weeks." She sarcastically apologized. "My bad."

"Maybe you could come to over.." The male blond asked, keeping his eyes on Gwen's chest. "And then we could..y'know... get it to work.. and get other things to work too.."

"I would rather not."

"Please?" Flash pretended to beg. He proudly put up one of his free arms, flexing his bicep. "You'll get a taste of this."

"My grandma has bigger muscles, and she's dead," Gwen said, her expression was unamused.

Peter let out a small blurt of laughter. Flash's attempts to seduce Gwen were hilarious. He was trying so hard to even get her to go out with him, but she was doing such a good job of saying 'No' that it seemed like it was deflating Flash's ego a little more each and every time. Unfortunately, his amusement didn't go un noticed.

"You have something to say?" Flash growled. Did this little punk think that something was funny? Flash knew he was so close to getting Gwen to become his girlfriend. But this little bitch, Peter, that followed Gwen around because he had no friends seemed to ruin everything.

' _Shit_ '

"No," Peter said quickly, lowering his voice. "Nope, I didn't say anything." He really wasn't in the mood to deal with Flash and his gang today. Everything was going so well. He took a calculus test, he was pretty sure he passed, and for once he felt like he finally had an appetite.

One of the jocks with Flash boomed out some words that made the three of them laugh, plus MJ. "I've seen cornstalks with better physiques!"

"You're right Eddie, he literally looks like a twig!"

The boy Eddie, who now had a name, grabbed one of Peter's arms, pulling it closer to Flash and him. "LOOK AT THIS!" He yelled. "HIS WRISTS ARE SO TINY!"

"Fifty pounds of pure skin and bone!" Flash joked, cupping his hand around Peter's wrist. He began to squeeze and tighten with enough force that Peter actually thought that it would actually snap. This wouldn't have been the first time he had broken a bone. He broke his right leg once when he was ten. He was still getting used to the old oxygen tank that he constantly rolls around with him. One day, he wasn't paying enough attention when he was traveling downstairs. He tripped over it, lost his balance, and then fell.

It was a sharp, snapping, blunt pain that radiated in shockwaves all around his body. Long story short, it hurt like hell. And it was something he never wanted to experience again.

"Let go of me!" Peter tried to wiggle his wrist out of Flash's grip, he even tried using his other hand to pry it off, but it was no use. The grip just kept getting tighter and tighter.

_'Where Was Wade when he needed to control his cave men?'_

"Flash!" Gwen gritted her teeth. "Get. your. hand. off. of. him."

"Whatever you say." The male blond grimaced and abruptly dropped Peter's wrist like it was a piece of garbage.

Peter used his other arm to grasp onto his wrist, holding it loosely. Right when he thought that one day could go right, Flash had to ruin it.

"See you around, ladies." Flash winked. Before gesturing his gang behind him to follow, They walked past the trio, bumping their shoulder purposely on Peter's.

"Thanks, Gwen." The brunette said.

"No Proble-"

"What the hell, Gwen?" MJ asked. "They were just having a little fun. It's just boys being boys!"

"Physical and verbal assault isn't having a little fun."

"Peter can handle himself." Red groaned. "And Flash is sweet. You just need to pay more attention to him than Peter and you'll see it. You really will."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

When Peter and Tony came home, they were greeted by an array of different colored vegetables and other foodstuffs on the kitchen counters. Steve was in the kitchen, rummaging through the numerous pots and pans.

The brunette instantly felt terrible. When he said he wanted to invite a friend over for dinner, he thought that they would be having a simple, normal dinner between all of them. Not all of this.

It's not that he didn't appreciate it. It's just that he didn't want his parents stressing themselves for all of this. He knew it was already taking a lot because they both had to come back from work early just to be here for dinner. He knew that Tony probably had dozens of meetings he needed to attend. Being the CEO of a company seemed to call for a lot of attention. And Peter didn't really know what it's called that Steve does, but he gives aspiring soldiers the initial basic training. He left in the morning and came home usually late at night.

The brown eyes scanned the kitchen until they finally met with Steve's.

"Peter." He said. "How was your day?"

"It.. was..umm..fine.." He said. His eyes were still intently focused on the food scattered all around the kitchen.

"Pa, what is all this?" He asked.

"It's dinner." He said. "I'm going to prepare something special for you and your friend. He isn't allergic to anything, is he?"

"Uh..no, he isn't.." Peter said. "But I didn't want you guys to stress yourselves. It's just a friend coming over."

Steve shrugged him off. "We want to make sure it's perfect. Speaking of, how's your appetite?"

"It's okay.." Peter admitted. He ate a small breakfast and no lunch. He should be able to stomach at the least half of his dinner down.

"Do you think you'll be able to eat dinner tonight?" Steve asked.

"Because if you can't, we're not going to try and force you," Tony spoke up. He made his way into the kitchen getting things out of the cabinet and placing them on the counter.

"It's okay." Peter said, "I can eat."

"Your father and I will be downstairs. If you need anything, just come down." Steve said.

"Can I help?" Peter asked. He felt bad about leaving them to do all of this by themselves.

"No, you don't have too," Tony said quickly, shaking his head. "Just go upstairs and get your homework done."

"Okay.." Peter said hesitantly. Weird, his father never had to tell him to get his homework done, ever. "I will."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

It took Wade a while to get ready. All of the days he had been asking Pete to come over, he didn't seem nervous at all. In all honesty, he was excited. He felt excited to meet Peter's parents. But the more he thought about it.. the more his mind circled around the one thought that felt like it had been consuming him for hours.

_What if Tony and Steve didn't like him?_

Wade thought about it, how could someone else's parents actually like him? He knew that his own father loathed him. It was obvious with the way he had been treated as a child.

His father had been out on business trips that lasted for months. And when he finally decided to show his face, he would lock himself inside of his office. Anytime Wade tried to show his father anything, a drawing, a passed test, an award, all he would get was a side glance from the older male and Wade's favorite quote,

_"Stop distracting me from my work, I'm busy."_

So Wade just gave up trying to talk to him. His father didn't care about him, so why should he even try to care about his father? It didn't even matter anyway, he didn't even remember the last time he ever mustered an "I love you" to Wade or a simple good job.

Wade decided on a navy blue button down shirt and dark jeans. 'It looks casual.' He thought to himself. 'And I don't look like a douche.'

He had Peter re-send him the address. The last time he came to his house was a while ago. He drove through a long trail in a heavily forested area. Wade had never seen so much green in his entire life and it was mesmerizing. The evergreen blurs zipping though his eyes were distracting him from the road. He had to pull himself away to keep from accidentally crashing his car.

His mind kept going to the thought that something is going to go wrong. With his luck, anytime something was going well, in a blink of an eye, his life went to shit again. He had experienced that way too many times.

"Life is just a series of train wrecks with brief commercial breaks." That's what he had figured out over the years. Right now, his life had been great, so it was a commercial break. Would this be the start of a train wreck?

_"What if Peter's parents hate me?"_

_"what if they don't want us to be together anymore?"_

_"What if they think I'm a bad influence?"_

Wade's black car finally pulled up to a sudden break in the trees. There was a large cement driveway that was in the middle of one portion of trees and another. The gray driveway leads to a large white mansion home. There were two deep colored wooden doors that stood out. On both sides were beds of even more green plants with bushes of red, blue, yellow, and white flowers.

Wilson glanced up, taking the time to admire Peter's house. He noticed the four large pillars attached to a small pointed section on the roof. And a beautiful balcony that resided in the middle of the four pillars. A small platform with a white fence like structure surrounding it.

He slowly parked his car in their massive drive way. His hands were still gripping tightly on the steering wheel, gradually becoming clammier the harder he squeezed.

He thought that maybe he could just leave. Tell Peter he had fallen ill last second. Just so he was the one delaying meeting Peters parents for just another day or two.

_Oh, the irony in that._

_'No_.' Wade said to himself. ' _I'm not a coward_.'

He wasn't going to be a little bitch. He was going to meet Peters parents, right here right now. They were all going to eat dinner and have a civilized conversation.

At least, that's what he hoped.

He slowly stepped out of his car. He took a deep breath in, trying to calm his tense nerves.

_'Everything will be fine.'_

As he walked up the small steps, his knees began to buckle. He almost tripped and fell right on his face before he caught himself.

' _Get your shit together_.' He whispered to himself.

He heard his heart pound in his chest as a shaky finger reached over to ring the door bell. He took multiple deep breaths in, but his body continued to tremble slightly. He kept trying to keep himself calm, but every attempt failed.

The only thing that made him freeze, was when he heard the door unlock, and then open.

There they stood.

Steve Rogers and Tony Stark.

They were standing side by side, warm smiles on their faces.

"You must be Wade," Steve said, putting a hand out. "It's nice to finally meet you."

Wade took the hand to give a firm handshake. "Thank you." He nodded. "It's nice to meet you too."

After the shake, he turned his attention to Tony to give him a handshake too. "Hello Mr.Stark," He said, surprised that he was actually keeping his voice steady. "It's nice to see you again."

The smile on Tony's face seemed to fade the longer he stared at Wade. "Yeah.." He huffed. He certainly didn't remember him being so tall. Was Peter absolutely sure that this kid was even in high school? was he even Peter's age? Was Wade on steroids? "It's nice to see you again." He mustered out.

Wade noticed how hesitant Tony seemed already. The strength in their handshake slowed as Tony's eyes scanned him. The gaze felt like it was burning through his skin the longer his eyes were locked onto his body. "Agreed." He murmured.

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

"You have a beautiful home," Wade said while walking into their home. He had been here before, but he wasn't really paying attention to the decor. He was focused on Peter.

"Really?" Tony asked. "I mean the walls look a little strange... I don't think that they quite match-"

Steve nudged his shoulder, interrupting him.

"But thank you." He said.

Rogers turned towards Wade. "So, do you live around here?" He asked.

"Well, kind of." He said. "It's about a twenty-minute drive."

"I see.." Steve nodded.

"How old did you say you were again?" Tony asked.

"Seventeen."

"And you can already drive?" Stark asked, surprised.

Wade nodded. "Yeah." The only reason why he rushed to get his drivers license so quickly was to have an escape. Just in case, one day, he could get whatever he needed and just leave. Never looking back.

"That's impressive." Steve said, "Do you have a job?"  
Peter would be turning seventeen sooner or later. Maybe he could talk to Tony about getting him to start driving.. doubtful.

"Uh..no..." Wade admitted. "My father got it for me... it was a gift."

He practically had to beg his father to get it for him. And by beg, he really meant ask once. Wade's father gave him whatever he wanted as long as he left him alone and didn't bother him from his work.

"What does he do?"

If Wade was being honest with himself. He didn't actually know what his father did. He was always out.

"He works with the government." Wilson half lied. He didn't want to say that he didn't actually know because that would make him seem even more irresponsible than he already was. He knew it wasn't a full lie because theoretically, he could work in the government.

"Do you have any siblin-" Steve tried, but he was interrupted by Tony.

"S-Steve.." He whispered. His voice suddenly grew smaller and his eyes were focused on the upstairs. "It's happening..it's happening again...do you hear it?"

Rogers fell silent and turned his attention upwards, the same way as Tony.

Wade was confused. He heard nothing. He kept tilting his head to hear any minuscule sounds until he finally did.

He heard light strums of a guitar and a quiet voice that followed.

" _Carry on my wayward son_

_There'll be peace when you are done_

_Lay your weary head to rest_

_Don't you cry no more..."_

Wade didn't know that Peter sang. Or fucking played guitar. Was there anything that this kid couldn't do?

" _Once I rose above the noise and confusion_

_Just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion_

_I was soaring ever higher, but I flew too high..."_

Wilson turned towards Tony and Steve. They were dead silent, hypnotized by their son's voice. The tiniest smiles filled with so much gratitude rising onto their faces. They looked so proud, so fond of him.

Peter's voice was weak from the downstairs, it sounded so fragile, but it was still so so beautiful. Wade hadn't heard a voice like that since she left seven years ago. Since she died.

His mother.

" _Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man_

_Though my mind could think I still was a mad man_

_I hear the voices when I'm dreaming,_

_I can hear them say..."_

It was unbelievable. The lyrics of the song and the sound of Peter's voice was euphoric. The tempo mixed in with the gentleness of the guitar made him feel surreal. He wasn't sure if he was actually dreaming or not.

" _Carry on my wayward son,_

_There'll be peace when you are done_

_Lay your weary head to rest_

_Don't you cry no more.."_

  
"May I.. may I go upstairs?" Wade asked. He felt bad for interrupting, but he had to see this for himself.

"Yeah..yeah..of course.." Steve said halfheartedly.

Wade excused himself and crept slowly up the stairs. He watched his step, making sure that his footsteps were absolutely silent. He followed the sound of the voice that was gradually getting louder and louder.

" _Masquerading as a man with a reason_

_My charade is the event of the season_

_And if I claim to be a wise man,_

_Well, it surely means that I don't know.._

_"On a stormy sea of moving emotion_

_Tossed about, I'm like a ship on the ocean_

_I set a course for winds of fortune,_

_But I hear the voices say..."_

He stopped at a dark wooden door that was, thankfully, already open. He walked in, locking his eyes on Peter's figure. He was sitting on a dark blue rug. He had on a gray sweater that was a little too big for him considering he saw how the sleeves were lazily rolled up. He had on a pair of black jeans and socks.

He had a guitar resting in his lap. Its edges were a deep black, but the center of the guitar faded into chestnut brown color. He was still connected to his oxygen tank through the nasal cannula, but the tank was distanced away from him. It couldn't get in the way anymore. He looked like he was free, there was nothing holding him back.

" _Carry on my wayward son_

_There'll be peace when you are done_

_Lay your weary head to rest_

_Don't you cry no more..."_

Wade watched in awe as his hands effortlessly strummed the guitar. The sound was so pure, there were no errors or pauses. His voice flew smoothly. It was absolutely heavenly.

" _Carry on, You will always remember_

_Carry on, Nothing equals the splendor_

_Now your life's no longer empty_

_Surely heaven waits for you..."_

And then, Peter's voice slowed down. It became even quieter as the guitar strums stopped gracefully. The only thing Wade heard was his voice. Isolated but vibrant and still so full of life.

" _Carry on my wayward son_

_There'll be peace when you are done_

_Lay your weary head to rest_

_Don't you cry,_

_Don't you cry no more.."_

The brunette paused for a couple seconds. He tapped his guitar idly for a little while before putting it back inside of its case. He reached over and pulled his oxygen tank closer to himself using the black shoulder strap from the protective carrying case. He let out a deep sigh and stared at it for a while. He looked lost in thought.

"It doesn't even matter." Wade heard the brunette mutter to himself.

He slipped the cylindrical tank over his shoulder and stood up. Adjusting the black straps of the carrying bag to make a sort of loose fit on his body.

The brunette stood up facing the ground dusting himself off. When he lifted his head up, his eyes widened as he almost screamed.

Wade was just standing there, a wide grin plastered on his face.

Peters flushed red. His eyes were still wide with fright. "H-How long were you standing there?" His voice trembled.

"Not long."

"D-Did you hear any of that?"

Wilson took steps closer towards the angsty teen in front of him. He pulled him into a large hug and laid a sweet peck on his forehead.

"You sounded amazing. I didn't know you could sing.." He whispered.

He heard the brunette groan into his chest. "Oh my god... I'm so sorry for your ears.." he mumbled into his chest.

"Were you able to hear it from downstairs?"

Wade knew that if he said yes, then Peter probably wouldn't practice like that ever again. And judging by the look on Tony and Steve's face, the absolutely adored it when Peter played his guitar.

"No." Wade lied. "When I came over your parents let me go upstairs.. to get you for dinner..."

"Oh," Peter said. "I'm sorry that you had to listen to my terrible playing. Are your ears bleeding?"

The brunette unburied himself from Wade's chest to check the side of his boyfriend's ears.

Wade gripped the smaller hand in his and kissed it. "Stop it." He said. "You sounded amazing."

"Is there anything that you can't do?" He asked.

The brunette was in deep thought for only a couple seconds before he turned to the hazel eyed male in all seriousness.

"I can't run." He shrugged sadly.

Wade rolled his eyes playfully and pushed his head closer to Peter's face. He laid quick multiple kisses all over the brunettes face.

"Stop it!" Peter laughed. He was trying his best to wiggle out of Wade's arms, but he was being held tightly.

Wilson moved both of their bodies on the edge of Peter's bed. He was on top of the brunette, moving the kisses to his neck. Wade made sure to scoot the oxygen tank farther onto the bed so it wouldn't get in the way.

"Who the hell cares if you can't run?" Wade kissed. "You sounded amazing.."

"Thanks." Peter murmured. He used his hands to bring Wade's face to his. "I love you."

"I love you more," Wilson whispered, laying his lips on Peter's.

They laid on the edge of the bed together with their legs handing off. Peter was caressed into Wade's arms for what seemed like an eternity.

_Neither of them minded at all._

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

"We should probably head downstairs," Peter said, tilting his head up to meet Wade's.

"Right.." Wilson agreed. It would be pretty awkward if Peter's parents found them like this upstairs. They needed to wait until after they said that they were dating. Not like it would change anything though, it would still be weird as hell. He slowly unraveled himself from Peter's embrace and stood up. He laid out a hand for his baby boy to take.

Wade watched the brunette smiled, gripping his hand to pull himself off the bed and snuggle next to him. But the happiness faded off of Wade's cheeks when he saw a dark purple and blue bruise starting to form on one of Peter's wrists.

"Peter?" Wade asked, tugging on one of his arms to bring it closer to examine it.

"Hmmm?"

Wilson held the small wrist delicately in both of his hands. It looked like four big lines. Maybe they were fingers? Someone squeezing on Peter's wrist?

"Wade?" Peter asked. "What is it?"

"Oh."

"Where did you get this?" Wade asked. "What happened?"

The brunette shook his head pulling himself out of Wade's grasp. "It's nothing.." he said.

"Peter, you can tell me," Wade begged. "Please tell me."

He didn't want to tell Wade about Flash. They were friends, weren't they? And there was nothing that Wade could do anyway. They both agreed to keep their relationship private, if Wade stepped in, everyone would know that something is going on between them.

"I fell." He lied. He rolled down both of his sleeves to cover the exposed skin on his arms.

"Pete-"

"I'm fine, seriously. You don't need to worry about it...Let's just go downstairs.."

The brunette tried to turn around but large arms grabbed his waist and pulled him back into Wade.

"Tell me." He asked. "I'm not letting you go unless you do."

The brunette tried to squirm out, but it was no use. His boyfriend was wrapped tightly around him. "Wade... I'm fine, really... it's absolutely nothing."

"If it were absolutely nothing your wrist wouldn't be fifty shades of blue and purple." He said. "Tell me."

A sigh of defeat came from Peter's lips. "It was Flash earlier today." He admitted. "He grabbed my wrist."

Wade's expression changed from caring to confused. "W-Why is he touching you? Is he doing anything else?"

"Because Flash is well... Flash.." Peter mumbled. "And no he hasn't done anything else... only this... I promise.."

Wade's arms relaxed around Peter's waist. "Let me know if he does anything else, alright?"

"Sure... I'll make sure you're the first one to know about it.." Pete said. "But quick question, do you know why he hates me so much?"

Wade let out a humorless laugh. "He envies you."

_'Well, that's a surprise.'_

Peter didn't know anyone who would envy him or his life. There was nothing to be jealous of. Tony's wealth meant nothing to him. Money meant nothing to him if he didn't even live long enough to use it.

"What?" Peter asked. "H-How?"

"You have two loving fathers," Wade explained. "He doesn't even have one."

Peter wanted to ask what happened, but he decided against it. It wasn't any of his business what happened to Flash's father, and this evening wasn't about him. It was about Peter, Wade, and his parents.

For once Peter pitied someone more than himself. "Oh." He murmured.

Wade kissed the side of Peter's face. "Ready?" He asked.

The brunette tossed a reassuring smile in his boyfriend's direction. As long as he had his parents and Wade in his life, he wouldn't need anything or anyone else. He had everything he needed right here, _Always and forever._

"I always am."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

Peter came down the stairs with Wade following closely behind him. He scanned the surroundings to see the dinner table beautifully decorated with their dinner decor. There were four wooden chairs with navy cushions laid onto them. For each seat, there was a table cloth and a napkin with a steaming plate of pasta. A rich creamy sauce colored the dish red as a generous portion of various types of vegetables engulfed most of the plate. On the table, there were multi colored flowers and candles spread across. Tony and Steve were engaged in a deep conversation before they noticed Peter and Wade approach them.

"Hey Dad, hey Pa." Peter greeted.

"Hey, Kiddo," Tony said. "Hello, Wade."

"Hey, Pete," Steve said. He just simply gave Wade a quick nod.

"Hi, Mr.Stark," Wade answered. "Hi, Mr. Rogers."

The brunette gestured for Wade to follow him to take their seats. They sat right next to each other, holding hands under the table making sure that Peter's parents wouldn't be able to see.

After they got settled and the interrogation session was out of the way, Peter was going, to be honest with his parents about his relationship with Wade. He was terrified to tell them. He felt like Steve would handle it pretty well, he wasn't known to over reacting. But Tony on the other hand...

"Well," Stark said. "Let's eat."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

"So..uhm..how was school today, you two?", Steve asked. The question was as stereotypical as it was overused and Peter couldn't help but think that this was something his father had seen in a semi interesting teenage movie and was using it as a reference for what he was supposed to say in a situation that was foreign to both him and Peter himself.

Wade kept his mouth shut and suddenly seemed far too interested in the structure of the plain white tablecloth in front of him. He was more tense than usual.

"Well, I took a calculus test to day and I'm pretty sure I aced it.", Peter chimed in to break the silence that was growingly becoming more uncomfortable.

"Nerd.", Wade mumbled with that sly lopsided smile of his Peter couldn't help but chuckle at. The expression on Tony's face was unreadable.

"Nice job, kiddo.", Tony gave back at to conceal how uneasy he was feeling. Had been a while since he had been the one to make Peter smile, let alone chuckle like that. "He gets that from me. You know, CEO of Stark industries, no big deal. Revolutionized quite a few things to do with weapons, changed the world, I don't want to bore you, Wade."

"That's cool, Mr. Stark." Wade didn't seem impressed at all, which made Tony open his mouth for whatever sarcastic reply he had up his sleeve, but he was interrupted by Steve.

"What are your plans for the future, Wade? Any ideas?"

"Well... I'm not sure yet." Wade's casualness simmered down, his voice became a low whisper. The thought of his future made his mind go right to Peter. He had everything he needed for his future. He was a genius just like Tony, he had a strong heart like Steve, and he had the one thing Wade had been craving since he was born. The one thing he had been denied all of his life.

 _Dat ass_.

No, but seriously, love. It's love. He was craving love.

Tony watched his son give Wade a look of gentle eyes filled with reassurance. There were hints of a tenderness that made his skin crawl. Whatever was going on between Peter and Wade needed to stop, now. The way that kid made his son feel, made envy run through Tony's veins. He didn't remember the last time he had seen Peter so happy. If there's anyone putting a smile on Peter's face, it should be him and Steve. Not Wade.

"When I was your age, I was already running my own company," Stark said with a matter of fact tone.

"Dad.." Peter groaned silently. His shoulders slumped, making him look smaller than he already was. He felt embarrassed when his father, a grown man, acted like this. An egotistical maniac that enjoyed bragging about their ambitions to other people. Maybe Wade didn't know what he wanted to do, but that's okay. Because Peter had no clue either.

"That's really impressive, Mr.Stark." Wade nodded along. His vocals dropped as his facial expression became bored. "Money isn't everything, though," Wade stated. It really wasn't. Considering he and  
his family had more than enough money. But he was still extremely unhappy.

"Actually-" Tony tried to argue, but Steve blurted, interrupting him. "How did you meet Peter, Wade?" Rogers asked.

A minuscule sly smile rose to the corners is Wade's lips. He turned towards Peter, who was staring right back at him. His chocolate brown orbs filled with such contempt. A smile filled with such appreciation and love that it made his whole body numb. He squeezed Peter's icy, small hand in his. His smile grew larger as he watched the pale face blush into a combination of red the longer he held on. A sensation of overwhelming joy flooded over Wade when feeling the hand squeeze back in his.

When Wade pulled his attention from Peter, he focused on Tony and Steve. The blonde's expression was intrigued. His blue eyes were watching Wade's intently, but not in a way that made him feel uncomfortable. It made him feel like he actually cared about what he had to say.

"He is my lab partner in biology." He smiled. "He's the best.. he really is."

But when Wilson shifted his eyes towards the dark haired male. His facial features were very vigilant. His arms were crossed and he was leaning backward slightly in his chair.

Tony took his mind off of his food to give his undivided attention to Wade. In all honesty, he couldn't see why Peter was so interested in this guy. His son should be focused on his studies, or interning at Stark Industries. Not on pleasing Wade or making him happy. He felt that Peter was too young for someone like this. Wade seemed too old for Peter. Tony knew that Wade wasn't like Peter, he had done this _dating_ thing dozens of times before.

He had a gut feeling that Wade would find a way to take advantage of his son. Whether it was emotional, psychologically, physically, or... Tony's heart skipped a beat, it was as if he could feel the bile rising up his throat.

Wade could...

_He could..._

_Take advantage of his son..._

_His precious son... sexually..._

The last thought made Tony's clammy hands tremor under the table. He wasn't going to let that happen. He was going to protect Peter until his last dying breath.

"Tell us," Tony commanded, cocking his jaw back in forth. "Do you currently have a girlfriend?"

"No, not necessarily," Wade said.

"It's a yes or no question," Tony said, squinting his eyes.

"Actually, he does.." Peter mumbled.

_'It's now or never.'_

Peter closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He held up the hand that was intertwined with Wade's from under the table.

_"I'm the girlfriend."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol rip tony


	10. Green Umbrella Trees

It had been twenty-nine days, twenty-three hours, and fifty-seven seconds.  
  
_Fifty-eight._ _  
_ _  
_ _Fifty-nine seconds._ _  
_ _  
_ _Sixty._ _  
_  
Peter glanced at the gray alarm analog clock resting on his night stand. The bright red numbers were the only source of light inside of his pitch black room. The artificial light was burning through his corneas. He wanted to turn away, but he couldn't peel his eyes away from the truth.  
  
It had been officially one month since he had told his parents he was dating Wade. Steve was over shaken with joy. His lips rose into a gigantic smile as his eyes lit up the dinner table. He reached over and shook Wade's hand, congratulating the both of them.  In that moment, Peter felt like he could finally breathe again, that all the secrets he had buried inside of his chest became non-existent.  
  
For once in his life, he felt like he would finally be able to fall asleep without that secret burning through his chest. That things were finally going to be alright for a while.  
  
But things _'being alright'_ were never his luck.  
  
Tony's expression was bare. His face that was once filled with color, went straight pale. His eyes that were always widened, bursting with life, were squinted. They kept bouncing from his son, to Wade hesitantly. It seemed like there were thousands of things on his mind because his fingers were tapping rapidly on the table. His lips were twitching as he looked like he was trying to say something, anything, but nothing came out.    
  
And the moment that made Peter's heart feel like it was being clawed from his chest the most was how he asked Tony to say something. He stared at him with patient eyes. Anything to let his dad know that if he didn't have anything to say, that was alright. A simple smile and a _‘congratulations’_ or an ‘ _I'm proud of you son’_ would've been sufficient.

 

But a happiness consuming silence swept across the dinner table.

 

Tony glared at Peter and Wade, and Steve stared at Tony. The longer his father's eyes were set on Peter's figure, the smaller the brunette felt. Like he was curled up into a little ball inside of an obsidian coated room. Where there were no sounds, no light, no air. It was just him, and the menacing darkness threatening to swallow his figure whole.  
  
The one thing that seemed to rip Tony out of his subconscious and into reality was when Steve put his hand on his shoulder. His eyes were gentle, pleading, and patient too. His voice was soft as it came out in a low whisper. He asked Tony to do something, and that everything would be okay. Within a couple seconds of contact between the two of them, Stark shot up out of his seat abruptly. Muttering a simple _"Excuse me."_ , with his voice full of a bitterness that Peter had never heard before in his life. He watched his father quickly make his way into one of the large hallways, towards a tall black door that leads downstairs to his work area.  
  
Steve politely excused himself too, offering to go downstairs to try to get through to Tony. As soon as Peter and Wade were alone, the brunette began to apologize. He didn't think that Tony would resort to the silent treatment. He thought that the worst case scenario was that his father would have an outburst. But even that was better than him saying absolutely nothing. Because if he was actually communicating, then they could've had a chance of getting through to him.  
  
Wade's once enthusiastic features fell into a small frown. He let out a sigh and loosened his grip on Peter's hand. He seemed slightly hurt but played it off with a half hearted joke. It was a calming silence between the two before he said four words that made Peter feel even worse.  
  
_"I should probably go," Wilson muttered._ _  
_  
To Peter, it felt like he was sitting alone for an eternity. He felt trapped by the constant vultures that kept gnawing away at any chance of happiness he had. Whenever something seemed to be going right, the universe said no. The universe didn't want him to be happy.  
  
When Steve finally came out, his strong broad shoulders were slumped. His eyes fell to the floor as he shook his head slowly. "Just give your father some time." He said. "He should be fine tomorrow morning.”

  
For the past month, every time before Peter went to sleep, he kept that thought in his mind. Hoping that the next morning would be the tomorrow morning his father was talking about.  
  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
Brown eyes struggled to open. The constant rings shooting through his head. Each pulse making his week long migraine even worse.  He reached over and thrashed his hand on his alarm clock, hoping to turn it off, or even hitting the snooze button.  
  
He never had to use that clock before because Tony used to come into his room and wake him up every morning. But now, he doesn't even look at him, let alone say a good morning to him. The light from the sun shone through his window, setting his half open eyes on fire.  
  
He hadn't been sleeping well for the past couple weeks. After he would finish his homework, he would just lie in bed. Closing his eyes and praying that he would be put under. But he never got that wish. His eyes were set onto the clock's taunting red numbers. It would be past midnight when his body finally decided to stop playing around with him and just rest.  
  
But of course, that didn't last long either.  
  
Once he was sleeping, it was as if there was something or someone in his mind that kept pulling his subconscious out of the depths of his dreams towards reality whenever he barely touched the surface of entering. He would wake up non stop in the middle of the night. His body just wouldn't give him a break.  
  
He slowly sat up, glancing at the time. He had gotten five hours of rest. To him, that was pretty good considering four hours had been the normal amount for him for a while.  
  
Carefully, he slipped his gray comforter off of his body, exposing himself to the cold air. He sat on the edge of his bed, letting his legs hang off. He buried his head into his hands and let out a deep sigh.  
  
"Today will be better." He whispered to himself.  
  
"Everything will be fine.”

  
Slinging his tank on his shoulder, the brunette made his way towards the bathroom. He cringed when he took a good look at himself. All he wanted to do was place a brown bag over his head when he saw the dark rings under his eyes. He wanted to cocoon himself under his blankets and never see the light of day ever again.  
  
His face had also gone absolutely white, making the dozens of tiny birthmarks on his face even more obvious. In all honesty, he didn't really care about the marks on his face. Wade often laid tiny kisses on them and always complimented them. Calling Peter his adorable baby boy.  
  
Even to this day Peter still didn't understand the nickname.  
  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
Peter went down the stairs one step at a time. Anything to prolong actually being downstairs for breakfast. If Tony happened to be talking to Steve and Peter came downstairs, his father would fall silent and turn away to whatever he was doing before. Tony didn't say anything to Peter, not even a good morning. He wouldn't even acknowledge his son's existence.  
  
Peter would sit silently at the table, keeping his head down. He felt ashamed to look at Tony. Like he wasn't worthy of speaking to him or even being in his presence. Steve would try, he would try so hard to make Tony say something. But nothing worked. Tony kept his mouth shut and his eyes glued to whatever he would be fiddling with in his hands, Peter's eyes were set onto the wooden accents on the dining room table, and Steve's blue orbs would be intently focused on Tony and Peter, but eventually fall back to the book, laptop, newspaper, or phone in front of him.  
  
The brunette had on his signature black converse with a pair of black jeans and an insanely dark navy blue button down shirt that almost looked black. He had his backpack slung over one shoulder and his life support on another.  
  
"Good morning Dad." Peter greeted, his voice barely came out a whisper. For some reason, he didn't want to say anything. He knew that his father wouldn't say anything back, so why should he even bother talking? "Good morning Pa."  
  
Steve had his laptop in front of him, it was open to a news website. He was skimming through an article, keeping himself up to date with the current events taking place in the world.  
  
"Morning, Pete." The blond said, his head was still buried deep into his news article. "Did you sleep well?"  
  
"Uh..it could've been better." He admitted. If he didn't wake up three times just to waste about two hours of sleep, it definitely could've been better. "But it was...okay."  
  
He slowly took a seat at the dining room table, being careful not to make any sudden movements that would cause him to feel even worse.  
  
He side eyed towards the kitchen.  Tony looked like he was cleaning something. His full attention focused to the sink. His eyes were dead set on the pan in his hands as no words left his mouth.  
  
_'Maybe tomorrow morning..' Peter thought to himself._ _  
_ _  
_ Peter crossed his arms on the table and buried his head into them. _'What's the point?'_ He thought. He hadn't even been hungry in days but he only came down because Tony was there. The morning was the most amount of time they had been able to spend time together. At dinner, Tony usually ate downstairs in his work area. Leaving his son and Steve in silence. The brunette thought that maybe he just wasn't worth Tony's time or patience anymore. That him dating Wade was the final indication that maybe his son was just more trouble than he was worth. It made Peter feel like--  
  
A warm hand shook Peter's bony shoulder lightly. "Peter?" The voice whispered softly. "Are you alright?"  
  
The brunette lifted his head from his arms and locked his eyes onto the figure in front of him. It was Steve, kneeling down, staring at him with concern.  
  
"Yeah..." Peter said. "I'm okay."  
  
Peter saw Steve's bright blue eyes scan his face. They narrowed slightly as his gaze went towards his son's eyes. He saw the dark rings residing on Peter's face.  
He used his fingertips to rub around them. They had an unsettling amount of depth that made Peter's face look sullen. The dark rings were faint before, but now they were obvious.  
  
"What's going on, Peter?" Rogers asked. "How much sleep have you been getting?"  
  
Peter knew he couldn't tell Steve how he had been sleeping. He didn't want to stress him out even more than he already seemed to be. Peter knows that his father didn't need his whiny sixteen-year-old son complaining about a couple nights sleep. He didn't want to push Steve away and make him hate him too.  
  
"I don't know." Peter lied. "I wasn't really counting."  
  
When Steve spoke the next couple words, the saddened tone of his voice broke Peter's heart. He had never heard Steve's voice sound so hurt. His voice had always been assertive and strong but still laced with layers of compassion. Not like this.  
  
"Why didn't you tell us, Pete?" He asked. "I thought we all told each other everything."  
  
"Do you not feel comfortable talking to us anymore?"  
  
_'What have I done?'_ _  
_  
"No..Pa..no.." Peter shook his head. Somehow, he managed to hurt those around him without even trying. It was just his specialty. He thought that he was just better off alone. That way, everyone else could actually be happy.  
  
"I just didn't want you to worry... it's just stress from...school." He lied. "I'm okay, I promise."  
  
Steve dropped his head and nodded, letting a deep sigh of relief out. His tense features relaxed with the next words that he spoke. "Okay.." he said. "Your father and I just want to make sure you're doing alright." Rogers thought that the tension between his son and Tony made him feel so uncomfortable that he just didn't want to talk to them anymore. He didn't want Peter to think that he was unloved or unwanted in any way. Steve knew that Tony's sudden ignorance towards Peter was causing their son to curl back into that shy ball that they've tried so hard to get him to come out of so many years ago. Even though Tony was becoming distant towards Peter, that was the opposite of what Steve wanted for him and his son. He wants his son to know that if he needs anything at all, he will always be there for him.  
  
Blue eyes watched his son's figure cower in the seat. "Sorry..." Peter began. "For worrying you... I didn't mean to."  
  
"It's okay, Pete," Steve whispered. "Just remember that if you need anything, your father and I will always be right here. Don't be afraid to talk to us, alright? We love you."  
  
Peter nodded. "I love you guys too." He knew that he shouldn't be afraid to talk to his parents, that was unbelievable. He was just kind of scared of talking to Tony.  His piercing eyes made him feel unworthy.  
  
"But Pa.." Peter began. "Do you think that... well..."  
  
How was he going to ask Steve about the pills? That hellish drug that left him sleeping for over twelve hours a day when he was ten? Not to mention, now that he was actually in school the effects could be _much_ worse.  
  
_But Steve told him not to be afraid to ask for anything..._ _  
_  
"What is it, Pete?" He asked.  
  
"Do you think that I could be put back on Triazolam?"  
  
"What?" Steve said. He looked more confused than when Tony tried to show him how computers work.  "Why?"  
  
"I know it sounds crazy," Peter admitted. "But I'm willing to try anything for a decent night's sleep by this point." He knew how sluggish he felt, but just the sweet feeling of seven hours of beautiful rest would be so fucking worth it.  
  
The blond shook his head, running his hands through his hair. "Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked. "I know I asked you a couple months ago and you seemed pretty sure that you didn't want to."  
  
"I've changed my mind," Peter said weakly. He didn't sound too confident in his answer now. His nerves were shaking with the thoughts of him barely being able to get out of bed... or sleeping past his alarm and waking up in the late afternoon, still desperately wanting to fall back asleep again.  
  
The blond turned towards Tony, who was making his way out of the kitchen with a plate in his hands.  
  
"Hon, What do you think?" Steve asked.  
  
Tony came out of the kitchen quietly and slid a plate with an omelet on the table. The food looked absolutely beautiful, but Peter didn't quite feel like eating it. What was going on between him and his dad was killing him inside. When Tony treated him like a stranger in his home, it made him feel even more worthless than usual.  
  
"Tony?" Steve asked again.  
  
Stark spoke up. His voice was flat and cold. He narrowed his eyes and glared down at Peter for a couple seconds before directing them at Steve. "No." He muttered. "He can sleep just fine. He doesn't need any _more_ medication."  
  
The atmosphere became completely silent as Peter stared back at his hands. He thought for once, the relationship between him and Tony might have been going somewhere.  
  
But no, of course not.  
  
Tony easily avoided the glare from Steve. Making his way towards the hallway, he muttered the exact words that he said every morning.  
  
"I'll be downstairs, Peter. Let me know when you're ready."  
  
The only thing that kept the tears from falling out of Peter's eyes was the small amount of hope that everything would go back to the way they were before he told Tony about Wade. When they weren't stepping on eggshells with one another and when his father actually looked him in the eye. Or even when he did, his expression was readable. It wouldn't make Peter question what could be flowing through his mind. Like shame or embarrassment from his son.  
  
Every time his father stared at him with those judgemental eyes, it made him feel worthless... it made him feel like he was just a waste of space.  
  
When Tony left, Steve put his hand on Peter's shoulder and squeezed. "It's okay." The blond whispered. "I'll see what I can do after work today, alright?"  
  
"Okay." Peter nodded his head. "Thank you."  
  
"Don't worry about Tony, Pete," Rogers said. "He just needs a little bit more time."  
  
The brunette smiled off the hurt. "Maybe tomorrow morning." He whispered.  
  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
The car ride was dead silent. The brunette could hear the quiet humming of the engine, the tires cracking the ice, and the wind blowing outside of the car. The uneasiness between Peter and his father gave him a gnawing feeling in the back of his head. As if the bleak thoughts flowing through his mind grew strong arms that were gradually tightening their grip on his neck.  
  
His father's pupils would avert anytime Peter's were locked onto his figure. Tony wouldn't talk, he wouldn't even ask him how his day was going.  Peter guessed that his father didn't realize how much a simple _‘hello’_ or an _‘I love you’_ meant. At this point, the brunette would've given anything just for a simple hug.  
  
Loneliness had never felt more prominent in his entire life, and every day that this went on between him and his father, the closer the darkness in his thoughts were to swallowing him whole.  
  
"Dad." Peter blurted. They were at a red light, just waiting in the same time-consuming silence as before. The brunette was internally praying that today's routine would be different. Maybe his father would finally tell him why he was acting like this? Or maybe Tony would say something that would answer all of the questions his son had buried deep inside.  
  
"Peter." He replied, expressionless. His eyes dead set on the red light in front of him.  
  
"Please," Peter begged. "Say something..anything.."  
  
Tears were already stinging the corners of his eyes as his voice started to tremble. He turned his body to face his father, even though the light felt like thousands of blades were slicing the tip of his eye as it physically hurt to keep them open. He needed to see if anything had changed in his father, that maybe today was the day that life would finally go back to normal again. "You've been distant a month and I really miss you.."  
  
"Just please talk to me again, please." He whispered.  
  
He was scanning Tony's body hoping, begging, praying that something changed, that he had made any sort of progress.  
  
All Tony did was squeeze the steering wheel and accelerate the gas pedal when the light turned green. Peter saw him bite his bottom lip, maybe that was progress? Maybe there was something that Tony really wanted to say? Whatever it was, Peter needed to hear it. Because it would probably be the only thing keeping him going through the day.  
  
"I've been feeling so alone lately..." Peter continued. "And I just have so many things I need to say to you.."  
  
"Things you need to say to me," Tony repeated slowly, Pronouncing every word precisely as if he needed to go over it to understand it more. He sighed and let out a dry, humorless laugh while shaking his head in disbelief.  
  
"Okay..." He began, anger rising in his voice with each word that left his mouth. "Let's start when you asked permission for dating him? That Wade kid? Is that one of the things that you need to say to me?"  
  
Droplets of tears were flowing down Peter's cheeks, staining his hands and his pants. He couldn't go back in time and ask for permission, why was his father still on about this? He couldn't change it even if he wanted to, it already happened. And that fear made Peter's chest feel heavier than it already seemed to be. If this unchangeable reason was the root of the rising tension between him and his father, then this was it. If his father didn't forgive him and move past that he didn't ask permission, then they were going to stay stuck like this forever.   "I've already told you that I was sorry.. so many times.."  
  
Stark's expression went from annoyed back to the usual expressionless attitude. But his voice let Peter know how he was really feeling. "Actions mean more than words." He mumbled bitterly.  
  
"What do you want me to do, Dad?" Peter cried, raising his voice the slightest. He wasn't mad at Tony, he just wanted his father to hear him for once, he just desperately wanted to feel like he and his father were a family again.    
  
"I just want you to be there for me again!"  
  
_Silence_ .  
  
Stark's brown eyes were focusing on the road through the opening that the windshield wipers made on the window. His left hand was placed under his chin, keeping his head upright. He seemed far more interested in the road than what his son had to say.  
  
"W-What am I s-supposed to do?" Peter whispered.   "Just tell me...because I-I'm too stupid to figure it out myself."  
  
_'What am I supposed to do to make you love me again?'_ _  
_ _  
_ _Silence_ .  
  
"Dad!"  
  
"Just...get out" Tony mumbled quietly.  
  
"What?" The brunette said in disbelief. "You want.. me to leave..?" He guessed he managed to upset his father enough that he finally admitted that he was more trouble than he was worth. That he burned through the last sliver of patience his father had. And now, he couldn't even stand to look at him, barely talk to him... and now, didn't even want to live with him anymore. Was his father officially done with him sucking up every ounce of happiness in his life that he just couldn't deal with him anymore?  
  
Tony let out a deep sigh and closed his eyes. He used one of his hands to rub his temple slowly. "We're at the school and I need to get to work." He gritted his teeth.  
  
"Oh." Peter sniffled. He turned his attention towards his window and placed his oxygen take over his shoulder. He opened the door, letting the cool air bite at the bare skin on his face. Before he left, he turned towards his father and let out a tiny smile. "I love you, Dad." He murmured.  "Have a great day at work."  
  
"Goodbye, Peter. Have a good day at school."  
  
It felt like Peter's throat was closing with the amount of pressure he had on it to keep his sobs at bay. As he stepped out of the car, he dropped his head. He was biting so hard on his bottom lip that he was pretty sure that he could taste the blood already. The one thing that made him feel the worst, wasn't that his father was pissed at him, the pulsing headache throbbing through his body, or the sudden outburst this morning.  
  
It was that there wasn't an ' _I love you'_ at the end like there used to be.  
  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
The brunette made his way into his history classroom, taking his usual seat next to his blond haired friend. He placed his books on the table and put his head down, closing his eyes. He just wanted to sleep, even if it were for a little while.  
  
A gentle hand shook his shoulder. "Hey." A sweet voice whispered. "How are you feeling?"  
  
Peter lifted his head from his arms, only allowing his eyes to peer towards Gwen. "Like I got hit by a car six times." Peter groaned.  
  
"How many hours this time?" Gwen asked. She knew about his sleeping problem and what had been going on between Tony, Wade, and him. She was always there if there if Peter needed to talk about something that he didn't want to tell his parents or Wade.

  
Peter shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, I wasn't counting." He lied. He didn't want to drag her through the muck with him. He felt like she shouldn't always be carrying his baggage too. Considering how she always stood up for him when Flash's gang harassed him, some of the other teenagers began to grow a resentment towards her also.  
  
  
Especially Liz Allen. Peter didn't really know who she was, but all he knew was that she hung out with MJ and some other girls that were all part of Flash's inner circle. They would whisper crude names about Gwen whenever she walked by or they would have the nerve to shout out insults. In all honesty, Peter couldn't even tell if Gwen was hurt or affected by their words, but if she was, she hid it really well.  
  
  
The brunette felt that because of him, everyone was unhappy. He will always manage to ruin the lives of the people around him, one way or another.  
  
"How are things with Tony?" She asked. Gwen saw how this was affecting Peter. She wished she could do something to help him, but there was nothing in her power that she could do. All she knew, was that she just had to be there for him. No matter what.  
  
__________  
  
_"Just...get out."_  
__________  
  
"The same," Peter admitted.  
  
Gwen put her arms on the table and laid her head down to reach Peter's low eye level. Her green eyes stared patiently into Peter's chocolate ones. She just wanted Peter to know that she would be there for him no matter what and that he could tell her anything. "Do you want to talk about it?" She asked.  
  
"No." He shook his head. "Not really."  
  
Gwen bit her bottom and nodded her head slowly. She internally sighed, this kid could be so stubborn sometimes. He just needed to open up, just for a little while. He can't hold everything inside of himself forever. "Okay...How about Wade? How is he doing?"  
  
"I think he's doing alright." Peter murmured.  
  
"Have you talked to him about this?" Asked Gwen.  
  
Peter nodded. "Yeah, I have." He said. "But there's nothing we can do right now... if Tony won't talk to me then he is definitely not speaking to Wade." The brunette's eyes dropped towards the floor. "All we can do is wait for Tony when he is ready.... whenever that may be."  
  
"How's Steve dealing with all of this?"  
  
Peter hesitated, he closed his eyes and sighed. "He's been trying hard to get Tony to say something... but he's had no luck. Tony is still closed off... locking himself away for hours just to avoid me.."  
  
"It makes sense.." Peter scoffed. "I've been looking like complete garbage lately.."  
  
"You look great." Gwen smiled. Maybe he had some dark rings around his eyes, but who doesn't? It's high school, everyone was tired.  
  
"You're lying to make me feel better about myself."  
  
The blond rolled her eyes. "It's not that bad." She said. Maybe if she could convince Peter to get to school early, she could use some of the concealers she had on his under eyes. She could work on her makeup skills and get rid of the rings under Peter's eyes.  
  
"It really is." He whined, hurrying his face into his arms.  
  
"At least you don't look as bad as MJ in one of her crop tops."  
  
Peter's shoulders shook as he laughed into his arms. The image of MJ in one of those crop tops trying her best to seduce Wade was just hilarious. They stopped a couple inches below her breasts, exposing her completely flat stomach. She often wore really short skirts with tights exposing any part of her body while still trying to keep herself warm in the winter. Her body grabbed the attention of everyone around her, but she ignored all of them and went straight to Wade. She would basically give herself to him, and he would decline politely every single time. And to make matters even worse for Peter's and Gwen's eyes, was that MJ sometimes didn't wear a bra.  
  
The brunette lifted his head at looked towards Gwen, still giggling. "You're not allowed to say that." He laughed. "She's your best friend."  
  
"No, Peter," Gwen said. In all seriousness. " _You're_ my best friend."  
  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
When Lunch time finally came, Peter was relieved. He didn't care to eat, at all. He just wanted a moment to rest his eyes and put his head down without a teacher trying to yell at him to wake up. He and Gwen walked side by side to the cafeteria, using their eyes to scan their usual table for MJ. She wasn’t there.  
  
The brunette looked over towards Wade's table, expecting to see her all over him, but he wasn't there. Flash and all of his jocks were. But Wilson was nowhere to be seen.  

  
"Hmm." Gwen huffed. "I guess no ones here.." she paused. "Cool! More room for us."  
  
Once they sat down, Peter pulled his pills and his water bottle from his bag. Luckily, he remembered to grab an apple before he left for school this morning. He just hoped that he could finish all of it because this was probably the last thing he would be eating today.  
  
"So.." Gwen began. "Have you started thinking about college yet?"  
  
Peter let out a small laugh. Him? In college? Away from home? That was a joke. "No way.." he said. "If I even mentioned the word college at home Tony would have a heart attack."  
  
"Oh come on, Pete," Gwen said. "Don't tell me you haven't even had a tiny thought about it."  
  
Peter did have a thought about college. About five years ago when he was eleven. He was at Stark Industries, sitting in the audience watching Tony give a speech about a new project that he was working on. At the end, his father gave a bunch of grants to all of the college kids in the audience to fund their own project. He was stricken with awe. He wondered if he could do something like that one day when he went to college. But even at age eleven, he didn't think that he would live long enough to see himself go.  
  
"No, not really." He admitted. "I've never really enjoyed focusing on the future. I like focusing on the things I can enjoy in the present."  
  
Gwen nodded her head in agreement. "Wise words.." she murmured.  
  
Before Peter could say anything else, MJ finally came towards their table. From what Peter noticed, she wasn't alone. There were other girls swarmed around her.

 

 _Flash’s gang of girls_ _  
_  
Once MJ took a seat at the table, the other girls pulled chairs out to surround the table also. The brunette rose an eyebrow at Gwen. Usually, it was just the three of them sitting at the table. Not all three of them plus four other unknown girls.  
  
"MJ?" Gwen asked. Scanning around the table in a slight disgust. "What's going on?"  
  
But MJ didn't even reply. She was deep into a conversation with another one of the girls. Gwen thought that MJ probably didn't even know that she and Peter were already sitting down at the table before she and her _'friends'_ came.  
  
The blond would recognize all of these girls anywhere. They all hung out with Flash. They were either under one, or both of his arms. Or, they were found walking next to or behind him. In all honesty, she thought that MJ was better than this. To hang out with people from Flash's gang. But she obviously thought wrong.  
  
"Do we have to leave?" Peter asked Gwen. The table was getting a little crowded as the both of them had to scoot their chairs over towards the side just to give themselves room to breathe.  
  
Gwen shook her head. "No." She said. "I think that's all of them." She said, a trace of venom in her voice.  
  
Peter was about to resume his conversation with Gwen before he felt hazardous taps of a sharp fingernail on his backside.  
  
Once he turned around, he locked eyes with a girl with brown curls that stopped at her sides. Fair skin, about the same as MJ's... and the same type of outfit to match. Her face fell into a scowl as her eyes narrowed down at Peter. Unfortunately, He recognized her. She was probably one of the meanest people that he had ever met in his life. She, along with all of the girls around him was, as Gwen would say, _'The popular douchebags_ ' that treated everyone else like dirt in order to get what they wanted.  
  
"Uh..hi?" Peter said. She's seemed really intimidating and upset.  
  
"You're in my seat." Her voice was full of thousands of venomous snakes that sounded like they could become extremely violent if provoked. "Get out. Now."  
  
"Your seat?" Asked Peter. As far as he was concerned, he has sat in this exact seat since the first day of school.  
  
"Did I stutter?" She grimaced. "I don't know why you're still here."  
  
"But... I've always sat here.."  
  
"Okay?” Liz rolled her eyes. “I didn't ask. It's mine now."  
  
"It doesn't belong to you." Gwen spat at Liz. "I'm pretty sure you're capable of finding somewhere else to sit."  
  
Liz slowly turned her head toward Gwen's direction. "Can’t you just keep your nose out of other people's business? No one cares about your opinion."  
  
Peter understood that Liz was pissed off at him for sitting _‘in her seat’_ but Gwen didn't deserve to get treated like this. She was just being a good friend, something Liz should take note of.

 

"You can't just talk to people like that, Liz," The brunette said to her.  
  
"MJ." Liz gritted her teeth, snapping her head in Red’s direction. "Can you deal with them? Especially this one." She pointed. "He won't get out of my seat, and I've asked nicely."  
  
MJ turned towards Peter and scowled, narrowing her eyes. "Peter?” She asked, her voice impatient and just simply annoyed. “Can you like, leave?"  
  
"What the hell MJ?" Gwen asked. Was she seriously doing this?

MJ turned her direction towards Gwen. "No Gwen, you can stay it's cool. He needs to leave."  
  
' _Wow_...'  
  
"Seriously?" Peter asked.

  
"Peter!" MJ snapped. "Nobody wants you here. Can't you just do everyone a favor and disappear?"  
  
The words made Peter feel like he had been punched in the chest. Damn that hurt, especially seeing all of the other girls laugh along with MJ. "Fine." The brunette murmured.

  
Gwen watched as Peter put his things inside of his backpack, keeping his head down. He got up and slung his backpack over one shoulder, walking out of the cafeteria.  
  
Once Liz sat down, she turned towards Gwen. She had a sly smile stretching out her thin ruby red lips. "You should go chase after your little boyfriend."  
  
She ignored Liz and turned towards MJ. She honestly couldn't believe this. She understood how MJ was always a little bitter towards Peter because of how she saw Wade and him walking together _once_ before class. But she didn't expect her to resort to this. Hanging out with the girls from Flash's gang? The ones that cared more about fame, money, and popularity than actual morals. It was absolutely disgusting that she was even sitting near them. Or even considered MJ to be her friend.  
  
Gwen pulled her seat out and grabbed her bag. She couldn't stand to see all of the girls here, laughing at other people while gossiping about other people in their classes. Calling them the same crude names they called her.

  
"Gwen?" MJ asked. "Where are you going?"  
  
"Who cares?” Liz muttered, taking a bite of the pear she had in her hand. "Let her run along to her little depressed boyfriend."  
  
"He's worthless anyway."  
  
"You know what Liz?" Gwen began, the anger rising in her voice. It was hard to keep her typical calm composure around people like this when she just wanted to smack them all upside the head, telling them to get a grip. "I'm not sure how you haven't realized that everyone hates you as much as you hate yourself."  
  
MJ’s smile faded off of her face."That's my friend you're talking about, Gwen."  
  
"I thought Peter was your friend too… I guess not." The blond murmured.

"Gwen, it doesn't matter, he will just get over it," MJ reassured, trying to convince her blond friend that she was just overreacting. God, Peter wasn't fucking five. He could handle having his seat taken away, what was the big deal?  "He doesn't belong here anyway. He isn't one of us."  
  
"Lucky him." Gwen scoffed. "I wouldn't want to be one of you either."  
  
"Look. I know it's coded in your DNA to be a good person and all, but who the hell fucking cares? He is just going to crawl back to you because he has no friends of his own. No harm was done, right?”

  
"Wow, MJ,” Gwen muttered. “And you wonder why Wade doesn't like you."  
  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
Peter was sitting in one of the bathrooms by his seventh-period class. It being empty was probably one of the best things that would happen to him today. He was sitting on one of the closed toilet seats with his knees brought up to his chest.  
  
He shut his eyes closed and bit his bottom lip to keep it from trembling. The painful rippling sensations of held back sobs made his throat feel like it was swelling up. He dug his fingernails into his knees through dark jeans, he knew it would leave a mark, but he didn't really care. He just had to do everything in his power not to cry. But it was just so hard. He couldn't get MJ's words out of his head.  
  
____________________  
_"Nobody wants you here. Can't you just do everyone a favor and disappear?"_  
____________________  
  
It hurt so fucking much. The thought that maybe he was just better off... not existing. The rejection he was currently receiving from his father manifested itself into a strong, dark figure that lurked behind him. Ready to swallow any sliver of joy he possessed anytime he even thought about how he just wasn't enough in his father's eyes anymore. Snuffing his small light out, trapping him inside of a dim, cold, and lonely corner where the only company he had were the terrible, defeating voices inside of his head.  
  
But now they were no longer in his head, he had people like MJ constantly reminding him that he was worthless. And that he did actually mean nothing.  
  
And soon Steve would come to his senses and feel the exact same way too. That his life would be thousands of times better if he just wasn't there anymore.  
  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
Peter was relieved when the seventh period finally came along. Just one more period until he finally got to go home. And by home, he really meant his room because that's where he had been spending most of his time recently.  
  
He felt a warm hand brush on his shoulders. When he looked up, he saw beautiful warm hazel eyes staring down at him with enough love to fill a thousand lifetimes. "Hey, you" Wilson smiled, taking his seat.  
  
"Hey," Peter said. It put a small grin on his face knowing that he was Wades, and Wade was his. Even though Peter's relationship with his father was tense because he was with Wade, he felt that it was worth it. Having someone, besides his parents, that he could cry to or simply laugh with was something that he thought he would never feel. He didn't know what it was like to truly find love, but now he did. And he never wanted to let it go. He wasn't... no matter what happened.  
  
Wilson leaned in closer, grazing his lips on Peter's cheek. "You look beautiful today." He whispered.  
  
Peter gently pushed Wade away from him. The brunette then used his hands to cover his face and groan. "I look so terrible..." his voice muffled through his hands. "Stop lying to me."  
  
Wade pulled Peter's small wrists away from his face, staring at his large brown doe eyes. He could see how the tension between him and Tony was physically wearing him out. But he wanted Peter, his baby boy, to know that in his eyes, his beauty would always outshine everyone around him.  
  
"Stop lying to yourself," Wade whispered. Only if Peter saw himself how Wilson saw him.  
  
"How are you feeling?" Wilson asked. He noticed Peter's face fall into a small frown. He's brooding, as usual.  
  
"The same." The brunette sighed.  
  
Seeing Peter like this made Wade's heart hurt. He knew what ' _The same_ ' meant. Not sleeping often, barely eating, unhappy most of, if not all of the time. God, he hated what this was doing to Peter. He didn't deserve this. Wade knew what it was like. To feel worthless in his father's eyes. But the difference was, that Tony actually cared. He was just kinda butt hurt and way too emotional.  
  
Wade slipped Peter's hand into his under the table. He shot a comforting grin in his direction. "What about Tony and Steve?" He asked.  
  
"Steve is doing okay, I guess. He doesn't talk much about it. He just pretends that everything is back to normal."  
  
"And Tony?"  
  
The brunettes features dropped. "The same..." he murmured. "Y'know, silent treatment mostly. He barely says anything to me and it's rare that he even looks at me in the eye..."  
  
"And usually, he and Steve talk about it...or they try to. But it always ends in an argument."  
  
Wade turned his head away from Peter, lowering his gaze towards the textbook on the table. "Sorry." He said. If he hadn't found himself inside of Peter's life, he wouldn't be like this. He and Tony would still be happy, and he wouldn't feel like everything was his fault.  
  
Peter tilted his head to the side in confusion. "For what?" He asked.  
  
"It's kinda my fault that this is happening to you," Wilson admitted. "If we were never together... then your dad would be happy..."  
  
"Wade-"  
  
"I mean... what if he is right? What if we shouldn't be together... maybe I'm not worth-"  
  
"Stop," Peter said, raising his voice a little bit. "Don't blame yourself... this isn't your fault."  
  
"I'm pretty sure your dad hates me."  
  
"My dad doesn't hate you." The brunette soothed.  "It’s just... I think that he hates that I'm starting to date.." Peter continued. "Maybe he thinks that I'm too young..."  
  
"You mean..." Wade interrupted. "He hates that you're starting to date someone like me."  
  
Peter shook his head, giving Wade a reassuring squeeze. "No, not you..." He whispered. "He would feel this way about anyone."  
  
"But I'm a good guy, I promise." Wade smiled. "But I'm pretty sure that's what the bad guys would say.."  
  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
When the last bell rang dismissing school, Peter and Wade walked side by side towards the front of the school. Wade did this often, using anything in his power to remind Peter that when he left to go home, he was only a phone call away if he needed anything or anyone to talk to. Always reminding Peter, that he loved him.

  
"So.. I was thinking..." Wade began. "Maybe.. one day you could come over? Just us... out of a school environment... all alone?"  
  
Peter sighed. God, he wanted that so fucking badly. Just to be with Wade without having to peer over their shoulders to see if MJ or any of Flash's gang would call them out. Or finally being able to kiss each other with meaning, not a rushed peck on the lips whenever they hid inside of an empty classroom or a janitor's closet. But that was unlikely. Tony would never allow him to be alone with Wade. The brunette didn't even want to imagine his reaction if he even asked. "My dad would never allow me to," Peter said.  
  
"What?" Wade whined. "We can be alone... while studying.."  
  
"Wade-"  
  
"Y'know? Help me get my grade up in Calculus." To Wade, school was pretty easy. Especially math. He may or may not have been getting a little lower in each test just to have a reason to have Peter come over. He knew it was stupid, but in all honesty... he didn't really care.  
  
"Do you want me to die?" Peter asked. If the brunette asked his dad if he could go to Wade's house _'to study'_ he would assume that he was lying. Peter was pretty sure that if he mentioned anything positive about Wade, his father wouldn't believe him. Tony thought Wade was one of those guys. The ones failing half of their classes and had thousands of girlfriends and cared more about sports than academics. That was Flash, not Wade.  
  
"I'm serious," Wade said, putting his lip into a small pout.  
  
"Please?"  
  
"With a cherry on top?"  
  
"I don't know…it depends." Peter murmured. He would have to catch Tony on a good day and have Steve on his side. But catching Tony on a good day? That would be easy if he could actually read his facial expressions.

 

"What if I fail calculus?" Wilson began his daily scheduled rambles. He pretended to add a fearful edge into his voice like he actually sounded scared for the future.

  
And then I don't get into a good college?"  
  
"Wade-"  
  
"Then I don't get a good job?" Wade continued.

"What if I live inside of a shack?"  
  
"With some blind old lady?"  
  
"And then I end up looking like an avocado had sex with another avocado that got shoved up someone's-"  
  
"Okay!" Peter interrupted. "I'll ask my parents and see what they say if you just shut up..."  
  
A sly smile spread across Wade's lips. "Even though your Dad hates me I'm pretty sure he won't deny a child's learning rights."  
  
"My dad probably hates me more than he hates you."  
  
"Things will get better," Wade promised. "Just give him time."  
  
"Yeah, everyone keeps telling me that," Peter mumbled. It had been a month, how much more time did his dad need?  
  
Wade stared down at Pete, who was focusing more on his converse than anything else. Wilson grabbed both of his hands in his and squeezed gently. "Love you." He whispered.  
  
The brunette lifted his head to look up at Wade's "You promise?" He asked, his voice sounding like a small child's.  
  
"You'll always have me... I promise," he whispered. "And I'll always have you?" He asked.  
  
"I promise." Peter smiled.  
  
The brunette pulled his hands out of Wade's and began walking towards the front of the school where Tony’s silver car waited for him. He threw a half smile in Wade’s direction.  
  
_'See you tomorrow.'_ He mouthed.  
  
Wilson let out a wink. _'See you.'_  
  
  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
The car ride home was dead silent. Tony kept his eyes fixated on the road, and Peter kept his out of the window, watching all of the blurs of people and objects from the outside. Even though Peter greeted his father when he came into the car and asked him how his day was, he didn't get a reply.  
  
The brunette tried to create a conversation with Tony. But he would either get one worded answers or none at all. Eventually, he just decided that there was no point. He just closed his mouth and stared out the window in silence.  
  
Once they arrived at home, Tony went to his workstation downstairs. Only muttering a few words when he walked past Peter.  
______________________  
_"I'll be downstairs if you happen to need me for something."_ _  
_ ___________________ _____  
  
Hours had passed since the brunette arrived home. He had been sitting on his bed, getting as much homework done before dinner. But he couldn't concentrate. All he wanted to do, was just sleep and wake up with everything being back to normal.  
  
But that just wasn't his luck.  
  
_Knock_ _  
_ _  
_ _Knock_ _  
_ _  
_ _Knock_ _  
_  
"Hey, Pete. It's me, Pa. Can I come in?" The blond asked.  
  
"Of course," Peter said from his bed. He grabbed his backpack from the foot of his bed and began putting all of his school work inside.  
  
Steve opened the door, walking inside of his son's room. He had a small smile on his face with a white prescription bag in his left hand.  
  
"How was your day?" He asked, sitting on the edge of Peter's bed. His voice was laced with actual concern. It had emotion, unlike Tony's whose was flat and expressionless.  
  
"It was..." Peter began.  
  
_______________  
  
" _Can't you just do everyone a favor and disappear?"_ _  
_ _______________  
  
"A day." He sighed. God, her words still hurt. He knew that he shouldn't be so offended by them... but he couldn't. When she said it, she seemed so angered and annoyed by his presence but the other girls at the table were just laughing like it was a joke. Was it though?

Because it didn't feel like it.  
  
Steve cleared his throat, pulling Peter out from his trance. He reached his hand inside of the white bag and pulled out a white pill bottle.  
  
"Here." He said. Handing the bottle to Peter. In all honesty, he was just hoping that this would help his son have a good night's sleep without leaving him too tired to even get out of bed the next morning. All he wanted was for Peter to be okay.  
  
Peter took the bottle and stared at the all too familiar blue label. **  
**  
"Thanks, Pa." Peter breathed. Could the solution to all most of his problems be residing inside of this tiny bottle? Just one pill and he would be put under for more than four hours. No more waking up in the middle of the night, no more going to sleep in the early AM anymore. He would finally have... bliss.  
  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
Peter went down the stairs one step at a time. Anything to prolong going downstairs for dinner. He thought that maybe if he kept his head down and said absolutely nothing, then maybe the atmosphere could feel normal. Like the way it was before...  
  
The brunette took a seat, keeping his gaze towards his dinner. Tony and Steve were already sitting down, eating silently.  
  
Peter held his fork in his hand, but he couldn't place it in his food. He just couldn't eat like this. The silence was so nerve wrecking that his body was shaking uncontrollably. His already clammy hands began to tremor so much, that he had to place his fork back down onto the white table cloth. How could he possibly continue to live like this?  
  
He felt so unwanted in a home that he had grown up in. Maybe he was better off locking himself inside of his room and never coming out. He was scared to talk to Tony because he felt like he would get the cold shoulder, or he would find a way to annoy his father so much, that Tony would just snap at him.  
  
And the biggest fear was that Steve wouldn't be able to deal with this anymore. That eventually, he would see things from Tony's point of view and begin treating Peter the same way. He would be seen as unworthy in both of his parent's eyes instead of one.  
  
_Buzz_ _  
_ _  
_ _Buzz_ _  
_ _  
_ _Buzz_ _  
_  
**New Notification from: Wade Wilson** **  
**  
**"Hey, cutie. I love you :)"** **  
**  
The brunette pulled out his phone and read the message. He couldn't hold back the smile growing on his face. Of course, Wade could always find a way to make him happy, no matter what. Even in a situation like this, where he felt that the tension in the room was so thick, he couldn't actually move his body. He felt trapped.

"Pete?" A voice called.  
  
The brunette looked up and saw Steve staring at him with a half smile on his face. He didn't remember the last time he saw Peter smile. But his son's happiness was contagious because it made him want to smile too. If his son was happy, he was happy. "Who are you texting?"  
  
The brunette shook his head, letting his chocolate eyes meet the blue ones. "No one." He said, the smile still wearing itself on Peter's face. He slowly slid his phone back into his pocket and turned back towards his food. In all honesty, he didn't know if he was going to make it tonight. He thought the nerves would get to him and he would just excuse himself and leave to go upstairs, but maybe he had the strength to stay, just a little while longer.  
  
Tony placed his fork on the placemat turning his attention towards his son. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared. He would recognize _that smile_ anywhere. "Tell us." He said. His voice had hints of obvious sarcasm that ruined the carefree attitude between Peter and Steve.  
  
The brunette's eyes glanced upwards towards his father who was looking down at him with a coldness that suffocated him. The frosty look in Tony's eyes made him feel like his gaze was piercing his skin.  
  
Peter's smile fell as his happiness shrank smaller and smaller the longer the judgemental brown eyes were looking down into him.  
  
"No?" Stark said. "Don't want to say?"  
  
Tony cleared his throat "Let me guess..." He continues. "It's _him,_ isn't it?  
  
"Am I wrong?"  
  
"He has a name, Dad," Peter mumbled quietly.  
  
He saw his father roll his eyes and slump his back into his chair. The tone of his voice had an unsettling amount of poison that left Peter fearful to even reply.  The brunette’s eyes dropped towards his clammy hands in his lap. He was petrified. All he prayed, was that Tony would just _please please_ calm down.  "Of course he does, he's always on your mind, isn't he?"  
  
"Dad...please," Peter begged.  
  
"Am I lying?"  
  
"He isn't... he isn't always on my mind" mustered Peter. Everything was so tense. His body was swept over with so much anxiety that he had to remind himself to breathe and blink.  
  
"Oh really?" Tony quirked an eyebrow. He fixed his posture to lean a bit closer towards his son. "Are you sure? Because he seems like a distraction to me."  
  
"Tony," Steve warned. Not tonight, not ever. Peter didn't deserve this. He and Wade were just kids in high school. He didn't understand what Tony was making such a big deal of. He understood that he was worried and scared for Peter. But this was not the way to address his feelings towards him.

  
"Just give him a chance... you haven't even gotten to know him like I have.." Peter pleaded. Maybe if they could just have a redo on that night that they all met and Tony could see they Wade wasn't a bad guy at all. Wade wasn't a danger or a threat... he was just Wade.  
  
"Do I need to? Just one look at him and I can tell what type of guy he is."  
  
_'Please, dad.. just stop.'_ _  
_  
"Look at me, Peter," Tony said, his tone still firm.  
  
Peter shook his head. He didn't want to. He was barely keeping it together with his father's words as it was. But having his father look down on him even more... he didn't think that he was strong enough...  
  
Stark rose his voice, anger bubbling in his chest. "Peter." He repeated.  
  
Saddened chocolate eyes lifted up fearfully to meet his father's. He was blinking the tears away at this point, he didn't want to cry here. He couldn't cry now.  
  
"He's not good for you," Tony said. God, he knew Peter was stubborn, but why couldn't he see it by now? Did he really think that he and Wade were actually going to work? He thought his son was better than this. Better than hanging out with people like Wade.  
  
"Why Dad?" Tony heard his son's voice quake. He knew that he was making Peter upset, but he had to get his point across. Wade was no good, period. But somehow, his son was blinded by Wade's obvious manipulation games.  
  
"Because he is only with you as a sick joke!" Tony yelled. He saw Peter flinch backward with the words that left his mouth. He had never yelled at Peter like this, but he had to let Peter know that what he was doing was wrong. The choice of him actually dating Wade was a disaster bound to happen. "He's doing it to make himself feel better."  
  
"Tony." Steve gritted his teeth. "Stop." Where the hell was all of this coming from? If he wanted Peter to see his point and make him feel terrible, then it worked. Because he hadn't seen his son like this before, he looked like he was on the verge of just breaking down in tears. He didn't know what else Tony was trying to do, but he needed to stop.  
  
"How could you believe that he actually loves you?" Tony asked. "I thought you were smarter than this!"  
  
"He wants you to believe his lies. He wants you to think that he actually values you, but he doesn't."  
  
"He is going to use your body because that's what people like him do."  
  
"When he is done with his psychotic games, he is just going to break up with you. He doesn't value you at all."  
  
The brunette bit his bottom lip to keep it from trembling. He closed his eyes and shook his head. His father wasn't saying this to him. Out of all the things people had said to him in his life, This was the worst. This was the most amount of pain he had ever felt in his entire life.  
  
Peter was pinching his skin from under the table, begging himself to wake up. This wasn't happening, this wasn't happening. Tony, his father, the one who always told him that he was the smartest and brightest... who told him that he would always value and support every decision he makes wasn't saying this to him. He wouldn't, he would never. "That's not true..." he whispered. "You're lying, dad..."    
  
_'Wake up.'_ _  
_ _  
_ _'Wake up.'_ _  
_ _  
_ _'Come on... wake up.'_ _  
_ _  
_ "My god, Peter... Why him?" Tony asked. "Out of all the people at the school, why him?"  
  
Peter was trying to hide the tears in his eyes. He was rapidly blinking them away. "He is... he is..." He sniffled, but he was interrupted by Tony's humorless dark laugh of disbelief.  
  
"Please don't tell me you were about to say nice or caring?" He repeated. "Don't tell me you're that naive."  
  
"Jesus Christ Tony!" Steve yelled. He has had it with this. He was making their son tear up, and for what? To prove a stupid point. Yes, Tony was nervous about Peter getting a boyfriend, but so was Steve. But he knew it wasn't their decision on who Peter dates. He was sixteen, they couldn't baby him anymore, making all the decisions for him. He needed to do this himself and if it ended badly, they just needed to be there for him.  
  
But Stark completely ignored Steve, keeping his eyes on his trembling son. He hates seeing his son like this, but it had to be done. Peter needed to know that Wade didn't love him as much as he thought he did and the sooner they ended it, the better for everyone it would be. "You always see the best in everyone, like there's no such thing as a terrible person."  
  
"Do you know how easy it is to fake those emotions?"  
  
"He isn't faking." Murmured Peter quietly. His voice was as broken and fractured as he was.  
  
Tony squinted. "What the hell has he done to you?" He asked. "Are you seriously buying all of the lies and the fake smiles that he's feeding you?"  
  
"Are you that blind that you can't see that he is just a control freak?" Stark asked. "He is doing this so he can boost his own self-esteem!"  
  
"Or even better!" Tony happily said sarcastically. "He is doing this just for fun."  
  
"Dad.." Peter whispered. "Please stop... t-that's not true.."  
  
"How do you know?" Tony lowered his voice. It was a deep whisper that sent a paralysis down Peter’s spine. He couldn't move, he didn't breathe. He sat absolutely still. "Where's your proof?"  
  
_'Where is my proof? How do I know that he isn't right? How do I know that Wade actually...does love me? What if he doesn't?'_ _  
_ _  
_ "I know you want to believe that he loves you... but he doesn't."  
  
"You don't see it. But I do. Wade will take advantage of you and when he's done, he will never even look at you again. And you're just sitting here, letting it happen!"  
  
Tony shook his head in and used his fingers to rub his temples. "I didn't know that this is what you would grow up to become."  
  
"After everything your father and I have sacrificed for you, this is what you do... my god, Pete. You're only a second away from letting some boy destroy everything we have tried to build for you!"  
  
Stark's voice became a saddened, low, and broken whisper. "How could you do this to us?"  
  
"Tony, that's enough," Steve warned, _again._

_‘Maybe Tony was right.’_

 

_‘I'm a failure… I've disappointed both of my parents, again.”_

 

_‘Maybe I am better off alone… that way I can't hurt anyone else.’_

_  
_ "I'm sorry…” Peter whispered quietly. “That I grew up just to end up being a piss poor excuse for a son.”

  
The table fell silent as Tony and Steve stared at Peter.  
  
"Pete.." Steve tried.  
  
"I'm heading downstairs," Tony mumbled, he grabbed the bottom of his plate and tried to stand up but Peter shot up from his seat abruptly before his father had the chance to do it first.  
  
"No, it's okay dad." Peter murmured. He used one of his hands to wipe his eyes.  
  
_'There was no point anymore. Why was he even trying?’_

  
His hand became drenched in his tears as they began to fall from the prisons that were his eyes. "You can stay."  
  
_"I'll just leave."_ _  
_  
The brunette pushed in his chair and made his way towards the staircase.  
  
"Pete wait, please," Steve begged. "Just stop."  
  
But there was no point, Peter was already halfway up the stairs with no intention of stopping or coming back down anytime soon.  
  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
The brunette slowly made his way to his room, letting realization flood over him like a deep sea of regret, guilt, and self-loathing.  
_  
_ _His father actually said that to him._ _  
_ _  
_ _This was how Tony felt this whole time?_ _  
_  
The brunette plopped onto his bed, not even bothering to cover himself with the thick gray comforter. Any hope of restoring his relationship with Tony was gone. It burned away with the last bit of self-esteem he once had.  
  
He was nothing.  
  
He was a useless, worthless piece of-  
  
_"What the hell Tony? How could you say that to him?"_ _  
_ _  
_ _"I said what had to be said!" Peter heard Tony's angered voice from upstairs. "This whole relationship between him and Wade needs to end. It's not going to work."_ _  
_ _  
_ _"That's not our decision to make! He is starting to grow up! He has the right to make his own decisions. Which includes the right to date whoever he wants to."_ _  
_ _  
_ _"He's a kid!"_ _  
_ _  
_ _"He is sixteen!"_ _  
_ _  
_ _"Peter is smarter than this! He shouldn't be wasting his potential on someone like Wade! What if that boy ends up being just like Steven?”_

 

_“Tony.”_

 

_“We don't know... And I'm scared, Steve! What if Wade does the same thing to Peter now, that Steven did to him before? I don't want that to happe-”_

 

The brunette threw himself off of his bed and shut the door. He couldn't stand to hear them argue. All of this was his fault anyway. If he could've been a better son… he wouldn't have to put his parents through this. Right now, they could've been eating dinner like a normal family instead of arguing or sitting in silence every other night.  
  
He buried his head into his pillow to keep the sounds of his cries at bay. He couldn't control all of the emotions he had swarming inside of him anymore. His throat was burning and his eyes were blurry with the tears threatening to pool out.  
  
He shut his eyes tightly and tightened the grip on his pillow. He was squeezing every muscle he had and bit his tongue to help keep the monstrous cries that so desperately wanted to come from his mouth quiet.  
  
He was trying so _so_ hard to make things right with Tony. But it seemed like he wasn't enough. His feeble attempts at communication weren’t enough to please his father. That he just wasn't good enough in his eyes anymore.  
  
He didn't know what he did for his father to say those words to him. He thought Tony was going to support every decision that he made. Wade knew that he was sick, hell, anyone with eyes knew that he was sick. But Wade didn't care. Why couldn't his dad see that?  
  
The oceans of tears that pooled from his eyelids stained his pillow. The tremors from his gigantic cries shook his entire body. All of the sadness he had buried inside of him came out and weighed him down. He couldn't move, he couldn't get up. All he could do was cry.  
  
_Knock_ _  
_ _  
_ _Knock_ _  
_ _  
_ _Knock_ _  
_  
"Peter?" A soft voice called. "It's me... Pa."  
  
"Can I come in? we can talk.. just you and I."  
  
Peter shook his head, spreading the tears farther along his face. "N-No..." he sniffled. "P-Please just leave me alone.."  
  
"Peter. Open the door, we can talk."  
  
"P-Please..just go... I want to be alone."  
  
"Okay," Steve said, his heart was breaking for his son. "I'll be out here if you need anything."  
  
Peter was relieved when it was just him, alone in his room again. Maybe Tony was right. He was too sick for anyone to _really_ love him. Was every ounce of affection he thought he once had pity? Wade’s love? His parent's love?  
  
_They all just felt bad for him?_ _  
  
_

_Or that he was simply weak. He was seen as an ‘easy target’ by, As Tony says, “People like Wade.” Just like his twelve-year-old self was an ‘easy target’ to that fucking creep, Steven Westcott, four years ago._

 

In this moment in Peter's life, he didn't know what came over him.

 

With the severity of everything that had just happened and how he realized that _everything_ he had ever believed in was a lie…all of the love that he thought belonged to him, was just pity… no one _really_ loved him… no one _really_ cared.

 

The pain in his chest became too unbearable as he would've been _very_ happy to just... disappear.  
  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
Pulsing shockwaves of pain throbbed inside of Peter's head when he opened his eyes. He used his eyes to scan the pitch black surrounding around him.  
  
He was still lying on his bed.  
  
He lifted his aching body from his bed to sit upright, using one of his hands to help keep the dizziness at bay. He slowly lifted his head to look out of his window. He expected the sun to be shining through, but it was still dark.  
  
He wasn't surprised when only the only source of light in his room was the moonlight shining through his window and the red analog clock displaying the time in big bright taunting letters.  
  
**11: 02 PM** **  
**  
He internally groaned. He wished that he had slept for just a little bit longer. Because now, he knew that if he already got a few hours of sleep, his body didn't want to go back, it wouldn't.  
  
_He knew what he needed to use to knock him out._ _  
_ _  
_ _He was so grateful for the sleeping pills._ _  
_ _  
_ He opened his door and traveled downstairs. He prayed that Tony and Steve were already in bed. He really wasn't in the mood for talking to anyone right now.  
  
The brunette made his way towards the kitchen to pour himself a glass of water.  
  
As he attempted to go back upstairs, he heard something. He went back down the last two steps and noticed that the TV was still on.  
  
He thought he might as well turn it off, so he quietly made his way towards the living room. But what he saw surprised him.  
  
_He saw Tony, sleeping on the couch with only a pillow._ _  
_  
Before Peter went back upstairs. The last thing he made sure to do, was to get a spare blanket from the linen closet and drape it over his father’s body before he left.  
  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
The tile on the bathroom floor felt like he was stepping on ice. Frigid cold sensations were pressed onto his bare feet that sent chills up his body. He padded over towards the sink and opened one of the cabinets that used mirrors for doors. Behind it, there were the only set of pills that he seemed excited to take for once.  
  
_The sleeping pills Steve got for him._ _  
_  
He traveled with them towards his bed and stared at the bottle. He imagined what it was like. What would happen if he took one too many of these small pills?  
  
He didn't want to die, he was terrified of death.  
  
But he just wanted to sleep for a while. Stay unconscious and unresponsive until he finally felt… normal. That his body would slowly get pulled down into the deep waters of his subconscious as the pills would finally lay his troubled body to rest.  
  
That these small drugs could be used as an escape. He would just swallow them whole as they would close his eyes for him and bury all of the troubles that he had soaring through his conscious body.    
  
He opened the bottle and placed some of the pills inside of his hand. He put them into his mouth and washed them down with the glass of water.  
  
After placing the glass and the pill bottle on his nightstand, He took his oxygen tank off of his shoulder and laid it next to his bed as he went under his blankets.  
  
Slow tears traveled down his face and stained his pillow as he bit his lip to keep himself from waking his parents up with his cries.  
  
The only relief Peter had, was the cold, comforting thought that because of the pills, his weary body would finally be put to rest. He took a deep breath in, and a shaky one out as he embraced the essence of death by falling into a deep deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S: if you don't know who Steven Westcott is, I highly recommend you search him up. He may be mentioned again in the future chapters.


	11. "Are We Going To Be Alright?"

_How could he expect Peter to forgive him if he couldn't even forgive himself?_ _  
_  
An eerie obsidian loomed inside of Tony's office. It filled up every corner, engulfing any sliver of light that radiated from the small table lamp at one of his desks. The dark atmosphere felt thick with a deep and aching loneliness that seeped into his body. It was as if the room had cold and long fingers that grasped tightly onto any source of happiness and siphoned it away. Turning the surroundings into a remorseful shell of sadness that that wallowed in the essence of depression.  
  
Tony was sitting at the partially illuminated desk with his hands buried in his hair. He didn't know how early in the morning or late at night it was. He had been going over some papers for a business Expo taking place in a couple of months? Weeks? He didn't really know, he could care less. His brown eyes weren't paying attention to anything in front of him.  
  
The gears in his head started to turn as he recalled some memories from a while ago. He remembered passing out on the couches after another argument with Steve. A scoff escaped from Tony from the sheer thought of it. Arguments were now apart of their daily schedule. And they were all about the exact same thing.  
  
_He knew it was all his fault._ _  
_ _  
_ _All of this was his fault._ _  
_  
His mind went back and forth. Spinning in an infinite loop of torture thoughts from a couple hours ago at the dinner table. When he had completely lost control and let his fears and doubts manifest into a rage that he directed to the last person that he had ever wanted to see that side of him.  
  
_The one person that mattered the most to him._ _  
_ _  
_ _The person he never wanted to experience what he went through with Howard._ _  
_ _  
_ _His son._ _  
_ __________________  
  
_Stark would never forget the moment when his inner demons transformed him into someone of that exact nature. An icy, selfish, and hurtful bastard. And to make matters even worse, he was the equivalent of a neglectful and an emotionally abusive father._ _  
_ _  
_ _Just like his own._ _  
_ _  
_ _He guessed that the apple didn't really fall far from the tree._

 _  
_ _Even to this second, he could remember vividly how easily he lost his temper._ _  
_ _  
_ _The moment when he snapped._ _  
_ _  
_ _When he lost control for a split second and got too angry with the flood of memories that came to him from when Peter was twelve. When he saw Steven, someone he trusted, someone they all trusted, using Peter for his own personal gain. He didn't want his son to get hurt, again, by someone who he thought that he could trust... by someone that he called a friend._ _  
_ _  
_ _Tony knew that his son had already suffered enough in his lifetime. He didn't need any more pain or heartbreak. He deserved to be happy for once... and as his parent, shouldn't he make sure that he was safe and happy at all times?_

  
_"He is just with you as some sick joke!"_  
  
_His brown eyes watched his son flinch backward as soon the words left his mouth. He had never yelled at Peter like this... he didn't want to. But he had to let him know that what he was doing was wrong...  Wade was too old and he was more mature than Peter. It was obvious that someone like him would've done this dating thing thousands of times before._ _  
_ _  
_ _Wade could easily persuade Peter and manipulate him to do things that he didn't want to do. It was easy for people like Wade to do those types of things. All Tony wanted to do was watch out for his son... he just wanted to make sure that he would be alright with someone that they could all actually trust for once. The idea of Peter, his sweet young and innocent child,  dating Wade was a disaster bound to happen. This Wilson kid would was bad news... Tony felt like he just knew._ _  
_ _  
_ _"He's only with you to make himself feel better."_ _  
_ ____________________  
  
Tony didn't want to become exactly like Howard.  
  
He would be breaking his promise to Steve and himself  
____________  
_"How could you believe that he actually loves you? I thought you were smarter than this!"_ _  
_ _____________  
  
What kind of cold hearted asshole would say that to a child? He was supposed to be the one to help rebuild Peter's confidence and self worth, not rip it to shreds. It was a parent's natural instinct to watch out for their children, and Tony knew that that was the main goal. After the whole _'Skip'_ incident that happened four years ago, he had never seen his child look so lifeless, broken, and scared. It was up to him and Steve to make sure that it never happened again. He deserved better.  
  
And if Wade ended up being just like Skip... Tony couldn't bear the thought of his son getting hurt again, his heart wouldn't be able to take it anymore.  
  
_He didn't think that Peter would be able to handle it._  
  
Stark had been trying to tell his husband that the relationship was a terrible idea. He felt it in his gut that this wasn't going to work out the way any of them wanted it to. Thus, arguments seemed never ending almost every other night. Tony continued his point of view, as Steve did his.  
  
The blond believed that there's no complete way to know the motives of a boyfriend or girlfriend. But sometimes that was okay because we're not meant to know everything in life. If Peter thinks he could trust his boyfriend and he feels that the love between him and Wade is mutual, then they have to support Peter. Rogers knew that their son wasn't a child anymore, he wasn't twelve. It wasn't up to him or Tony to decide who he dates. He's entering the stage of his life where he is making his own decisions. And if they are bad ones, he and Tony need to establish a sense of security so Peter knows that if anything goes wrong, he will always have them, his parents, to be there for him.  
  
Tony disagreed.  
  
He reminded Steve of the last time they "trusted" someone. Did they all want to go through that again?  Even to this day, Tony was still beating himself up about it... he let someone come into his home and hurt his son. It had been going on for months and he didn't even notice until he saw it with his own eyes.  
  
He reminded his husband about Wade himself. How the other teenager was very vague on where he lived and what his family life was like. Tony and Steve knew absolutely nothing about him. What if Peter was in trouble and they couldn't get in contact with Wade? What would happen to their son?  
  
That Wilson kid could do anything he wanted to Peter and Tony felt like he had no way of knowing what would go on. What if Wade will hurt Peter and force him to keep the awful things a secret? Or Peter wouldn't tell anyone because he has always been so quiet and shy to talk about things that were bothering him.    
  
Peter has always had a natural brave face on. Tony could tell that he's still in a lot of pain, but doesn't want to talk it about it much. Even when he and Steve were practically begging Peter to tell them what's wrong so they can try to help take the pain away, all their son would say was,  
_  
_ _"I'm fine. Please stop worrying so much."_ _  
_  
Or  
  
_"I'm fine. Just forget about me, Please."_  
  
The universe threw a lot of things in Peter's way and he had always tried to have a smile on his face while keeping all of the pain locked inside. Because of this, Peter has never really been in the " _limelight_ ". He was always the one to take the backseat and watch others shine. His parents could tell that all of their son's years of trauma made him feel like he was less... but he wasn't, he was far from that. Stark knew that he was talented...so so talented. He may of not of been the star in the athletic field like other kids his age, but he was still perfect and gifted in his own way.  
  
He had so much bravery tucked away inside of his body even at such a young age. Cancer is a terrible disease, Tony and Steve had seen it first hand on what it could do to an adult. The physiological effects of living in fear each and every day... the constant fear that something terrible was always going to happen... and the persona of just waiting to lie down and die.  
  
But not Peter.  
  
He was diagnosed with lung cancer from the age of four. The sheer thought of that made Tony's eyes already begin to tear up. His son hadn't even began to live his life before he got diagnosed with a life threatening illness. As they were in and out of the hospital for a couple years, Peter went through waves of chemotherapy, multiple surgeries, fevers, infections, and the disappointing blood tests. Tony remembered how he and his husband were terrified of the future, they didn't know what to expect anymore. But every time Peter, was around his parents he would say the same words each and every time. The same tiny smile on his face, placing the sensation of hope into their hearts.  
____________  
_"Everything is going to be alright. I'm going to get better."_ _  
_ ____________  
  
He was a strong soul that dealt with something that no one, not even a child deserved to go through.  
  
Peter was extremely intelligent and wise for his age too. The doctors didn't really expect him to reach this far considering he was born ten weeks premature. He was expected to be a slower learner and have problems reading and writing. He wasn't expected to speak as quickly as the other children his age because he would be delayed in reaching specific milestones and have several developmental issues.  
  
After he was born, he relied on the hospital's machines to keep him alive. It was heartbreaking seeing a tiny child stuck inside of a small incubator with numerous blankets around his body trying to keep him as warm as possible. IVs and tubes were going in and out of his body keeping him alive providing medicine and nutrients to feed him and help him grow. Tony and Steve wanted to speak to his mother just to get a sense of why. But there was no such luck. As soon as she was clear to leave the hospital, she was gone.  
  
How could someone abandon their own child without saying a final goodbye?  
  
As their son grew up they eventually had to have the " _talk_ ." With him.  
  
Not the talk about the birds and the bees...  
  
The " _You're adopted talk_ ."  
  
After they told their son, they waited patiently for his response, reminding him that they still loved him.  
  
Peter was silent for a while. Tony and Steve thought that their son would push them away in anger on why they didn't tell him sooner or begin to cry in a heart breaking disparity about how his biological parents threw him away.

  
Instead, his brown eyes looked away from them. Staring vacantly away at one of the white hospital walls.  
  
His parents asked him if he was okay or if he just needed some alone time.  
  
Peter weakly shook his head, his voice was distant, obviously deep in thought. The little voice that came out was a slight whisper. He said words that Tony knew that he would never forget. His son told him that his biological parents weren't his real parents. Because real parents were supposed to love their children. They gave him away... so they didn't love him or think that he was worth anything. Peter continued on saying that Tony and Steve had loved him like he was their own and treated him like he mattered. Tony and Steve are his real parents. Always and forever.  
  
Ever since that day, Tony knew that Peter owes the world his gifts, and it's was his job to make sure he does that.  
  
Yet, here Tony was, sitting alone in his office thinking about how much he screwed up, again.  
  
It was all of his anxiety for Peter that caused him to give his son the silent treatment. It was because he was trying his best not to say something he would regret, but when he lost control at the dinner table all of the fear that had been buried inside of him for a month exploded out of him. He even saw it in Peter's eyes when they were in the car the other day and at the table. How his son was tearing up because of what Tony was doing. Peter begged his Dad to say something, anything. But Tony didn't budge until he ripped apart Peter's self-esteem at the dinner table.  
  
_It was too familiar._ _  
_  
Tony's lonely thoughts went to a time when he was around Peter's age, maybe just a little bit younger and Howard was doing that exact same thing. Ignoring his every attempt of contact or giving cold and hurtful answers. It was after Tony found out that his father was sending him away to boarding school. He didn't want to go, he didn't want to be alone anymore. But he guessed that his Dad just didn't care. Day after day was spent in silence as he watched his father go to work and come home. The happiest moment he had ever seen his father in was when he was driving him to the airport so he wouldn't have to see his son for a couple years.  
  
The flashbacks of dejection and desolation made a humorless laugh escape his lips. How could he, Anthony Edward Stark, actually believe that he was good enough to love others and be loved himself if his own parents didn't even want him?  
  
_How could Peter and Steve continuously put up with up with him anyway?_ _  
_  
They were too good for him. They were the only source of happiness his miserable life contained. Without them, he didn't know where he would be or what monster he would've transformed into.  
  
A deep sigh left his lips. Just like his father said, he really was a good for nothing waste of space that would never amount to anything. Tony dropped his head in shame because he ended up proving his father right and letting his husband and his only child down.  
  
He reached his shaky arm towards the lamp, letting the light vanish from the atmosphere. The darkness that the room possessed suffocating him with a familiar hold from his childhood. A self-loathing sensation that left him feeling bitter, tearful, and empty. He let out a deep sigh as his hand instinctively knew where his glass of alcohol was. In all honesty, he didn't know if this was his fourth or sixth glass... he had lost count a while ago.  
  
He brought the glass to his lips as the cold liquid sent a fiery hell down his throat that burned his stomach. Brown eyes shut as slow flowing tears streamed down his face, staining his jeans. The waterworks were filled with a body consuming regret from hurting the ones he cared about the most, again.  
  
The glass shattered on the floor sending echoes of shockwaves of sound removing the once silent feeling from before. He could taste the blood in his mouth from biting his bottom lip to keep the cries threatening to leave his body at bay.  
  
_Oh that all too familiar feeling._ _  
_  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
_Peter had been taught from a young age that life was a gift._ _  
_  
He used to be ecstatic when he would wake up to the sun's rays dancing on his pale skin. His overall dull room would be brought to life with an indescribable amount of a lively joy that illuminated every lonesome corner of his life. The comfort would put him into a sense of happiness that made him feel warm, happy and loved. It let him know that no matter what happened, his parents would always be the sun in his life. Shining through, bringing hope and joy and light into his dark life. Reminding him that eventually, one day, everything would be alright.  
  
_He wished that he could relate to those distant memories now._ _  
_  
In the moment that he opened his eyes, he wanted to shut them and bury himself under his blankets. Instead of a comforting light from all of those years ago, the rays felt like a reminder of what once was, what is, and what most likely will never be again. The rays weren't comforting or supportive, they felt out of place. He wasn't happy to open his eyes, he wasn't smiling, and he didn't have the reassuring confidence to face whatever the world threw at him. He felt as if he was the hesitant droplets of the annoying icy rain that pierced exposed skin, ruining a once perfect day. Or he was the impending storm clouds that masked up the glorious sun. Soaking up the warmth and the smiles from everyone around him. It was as if his existence depended on the stolen happiness from the lives of others.  
  
He was unwanted.  
  
A burden.  
  
These thoughts were the equivalent of thousands of demons weighing on top of Peter's half opened eyelids. The only thing that kept him alive, the only thing giving him his motivation to actually live his life to the fullest, were his parents, Steve and Tony. They were supposed to care, they were supposed to tell him that he could accomplish anything and do anything. But how could he anymore?  
_________________________  
_"After everything your father and I have sacrificed for you, this is what you do... my god, Pete. You're only a second away from letting some boy destroy everything we have tried to build for you!"_ _  
__  
__Peter heard his father's voice shift into a broken whisper. "How could you do this to us?"_ _  
_ ___________________________  
  
He had failed them.  
  
The one job he had was to be a decent son. He didn't have to do any chores or take care of younger siblings. Hell, he didn't even have to get a fucking job or pay any bills. All he had to do was _not_ mess up. But it was just something that came naturally to him, ruining everything and screwing everyone over. It was just his specialty.  
  
How could he ever look into his father's eyes again?  
  
There was no point, there was no use.  
  
Peter tucked his body into a ball and lifted his blankets to pull his covers over his head. It had been so hard getting out of bed before, it felt even worse now. His bottom lip trembled as he brought his head down to his knees, trying his best not to cry.  
  
It was already hard enough keeping it together on " _normal_ " days, but if he started to cry Steve and Tony would probably fall into another argument on whose fault it was this time. He remembered how he was trying his best to muffle his tears into his pillow one day after coming home from school.  Flash taunted him on how he should just end his miserable life and Liz said that he was better off dead. With Steve being on edge and Tony simply ignoring him, it made it hurt to exist the way he was. There was a gnawing ripping pain inside of his chest that left it hard to attempt to keep the tears at bay. The longer he cried, the heavier his minuscule tears became as they transformed into deep sobs that rattled his entire body.  
  
Maybe Steve heard him crying from downstairs? Or Tony did? Peter didn't really know. In one moment the only sounds his ears soaked up were the pathetic cries coming from his body, and then he heard voices yelling from downstairs.  
  
____________  
  
_"Tony. Look at what this is doing to him. Can't you see?"_ _  
__  
__"I've said absolutely nothing!"_ _  
__  
__"That's my point! You're not talking to him when you need to!"_ _  
__  
__"What do you want me to say?"_ _  
__  
__"Explain why you're acting like this. Just talk to him again!"_ _  
__  
__"And then will he finally explain to me why he thinks that dating Wade is a good idea?"_ _  
_ ____________  
  
**_Buzz_** ** _  
_** **_  
_****_Buzz_** ** _  
_****_  
_****_Buzz_** ** _  
_**  
Peter internally groaned when he heard his phone from his nightstand. He was so warm under his blankets. He felt protected. Shielded away from the world.  
  
He huffed as he ripped his gray comforter off of his head, reaching over to grab his phone. A half smile rose to his face that brightened his dull mood when he saw why his phone was ringing.  
  
**New Notification From: Wade Wilson** **  
****  
****Good Morning baby boy <3 Sleep well?** **  
**  
Even through all of this, he knew that he would always have him. Someone that was always checking up on him, making sure that he's alright, letting him know that he was loved. He, Steve, and Gwen were the only ones that currently made him feel like his life actually mattered.  Like he wasn't just a waste of a human being.  
  
**"It was okay," Peter replied. "How about you?"** **  
****  
****"I slept like a baby," Wade responded. "How many hours did you get?"** **  
****  
****"Don't worry about it. It doesn't really matter."** **  
****  
****"It matters to me. How many hours?"** **  
**  
**"I'm fine. It's not important."** **  
****  
****"How"** **  
****  
****"Many"** **  
****  
****"Hours?"** **  
**  
Peter knew he wasn't going to win this. He usually never did. If Wade wanted an answer, he wouldn't stop texting Peter until he got it. Unfortunately, it had happened before. He sighed, deciding that he might as well give in.

  
**"About eight," Peter answered.** **  
** **  
** **"Finally. How are you feeling?"** **  
** **  
** **"Okay, I guess... I'm still a little tired. I took some sleeping pills." Peter admitted.** **  
**  
He was relieved that he felt decent enough to go to school. He was a little bit drowsy, but it was a thousand times better than before. He didn't continuously wake up during the night, unable to fall asleep. It was just a blissful rest. He didn't remember what those really felt like.  
  
**"No!! Bad baby boy!! Those aren't good for you!" Wade texted.** **  
**  
The brunette internally prepared for another spam of text messages. When his phone was flooded with messages, he didn't mind. At least he knew how much Wade really cared about him. Of course, Wade showed him every day... but as Tony said, "Actions mean more than words."  
  
**"Do you know all of the health risks?"** **  
** **  
** **"What are all of the side effects?"** **  
** **  
** **"How many did you take omg Peter"** **  
** **  
** **"Peter they're not healthy are you feeling ok"** **  
** **  
** **"People can actually become addicted to them holy shit."** **  
** **  
** **"Please please tell me you won't take them again."** **  
** **  
** The brunette internally cursed himself. He didn't mean to make Wade worry excessively about him. Peter didn't like adding to other people's distress. It wasn't fair to them anymore.  
  
**"Wade. I was willing to try anything for a decent night's sleep." Peter replied. "I know that they're not the best thing for me... but right now I'm out of options. I just don't know what to do anymore."** **  
** **  
** **"Are you okay?" Wade asked.** **  
**  
**"I am fine."** **  
** **  
** **"Did something...happen last night?"** **  
**  
**"No," Peter replied.**

 **  
** It was almost instinct to type " _No_ ." How could he possibly tell Wade what his father thought about him and their relationship? Peter kept telling himself that Tony didn't mean it, or at least he hoped he didn't. Maybe Tony was just upset... people say things they don't mean when something's bothering them  
  
Peter internally prayed for the second option and not the first. But he didn't really know if it would make a difference in how he felt anyway.  
  
**"Are U sure?" Wade asked. "Because if you're sad or upset I want to listen. All you have to do is talk to me. You know I'll always be there for you?"** **  
** **  
** **"Yeah, of course, I know."** **  
** **  
** **"Then spill. For me? Please?"** **  
**  
**"I'm really sorry, but not right now. I don't even want to think about it... can we talk about something else?"** **  
** **  
** **"Sure sure."** **  
**  
Peter's phone hesitated for a couple moments before it rang inside of his hands.  
  
**"I had a dream about you." Wade texted.** **  
** **  
** **"Oh really?"** **  
** **  
** **"You were wearing this sexy ass red and blue bikini while we were at the beach."** **  
**  
Peter wasn't even surprised by that. He was just used to the crazy things that left Wade's mouth. He was used to _him_ by He remembered how he was lying awake, unable to sleep, the usual. When he got a series of text messages from Wade about plants. Wilson kept trying to convince his boyfriend that what if plans had feelings too? What if they could feel pain just like we can? But because they don't have any mouths, we can't hear them scream. It wasn't all that bad, the brunette texted Wade for a couple more hours through the night until his boyfriend finally fell asleep. Peter wished that he could do the same.  
  
**"Well... thank god you were dreaming," Peter replied. "Your eyes would've bled from the mere sight of that in real life."** **  
** **  
** **"Hush hush you. That dream gave me the best idea ever."** **  
** **  
** **"That I would never look good in a bikini and I would be doing the world a public service if I never wore one?"** **  
**  
**"Stop sulking princess. I thought that we could go to the beach one day. You've been to one, right?"** **  
** **  
** **"Nope. Never been."** **  
**  
Sad, but true. During Peter's childhood, he had mostly been in two places. The hospital and home. His body was fragile enough as it is, so he couldn't go to the amusement parks like the other kids, he wasn't able to do sports live everyone else, and it was rare that he even went outside in extreme temperatures. Which was why, the beach was a definite " _No_ ." First off, The thought of Peter swimming was a joke. And the summer’s heat would make his lung feel like it was being drowned in its own fluid. He knew because it had happened before. It was one the nastiest feelings he had ever been through.  
  
During his childhood, he was mostly inside with his parents, spending as much time with them as possible. The most exotic places he had been were Stark Industries a couple times and the grocery store.  
  
**"Wow ok u live under a rock." Wade replied. "Come with me one day?"** **  
** **  
** **"Why? I can't even swim."** **  
** **  
** **"You'd look hot in a bikini ;)"** **  
** **  
** **"Goodbye, Wade."** **  
** **  
** **"Wait noooo pls don't go I'm sorry I'll be serious for once."** **  
** **  
** **"We could relax in the sun and walk along the beach together. We could have a lot of fun together... just once."** **  
** **  
** **"Please?"** **  
** **  
** **"Peter are you there?"**  
  
Peter gave the idea some thought. He knew that he was going to die eventually, it was a miracle that he even survived this long with stage four lung cancer. And in all honesty, he didn't know how much time he had left. It would come back even worse than the last eventually, it always did.  
  
Deep down, he really wanted to experience something new. He wished that he could go through anything in his life that him feel normal. And going to a beach with someone that he loved and cherished inside of his heart was one of the best things that he only dreamt of.  
  
Wade made him feel whole, he made the brunette feel like he actually had a place in the world. Even to this day, Peter didn't know how was it this possible to care _this_ much about someone. Going through something as special like this with Wade would probably be one of the best things that will ever happen to Peter in his life.  
  
Now only if his parents would let him go...  
  
**"Eventually." The brunette replied.** **  
** **  
** **"Eventually?" Wade asked. "Is that a yes? A no? A maybe?"** **  
** **  
** **"Eventually."** **  
** **  
** **"Okay okay cool I'll accept that. I also have a surprise for you."** **  
** **  
** **"Please don't tell me it's a bikini." Peter begged.** **  
** **  
** **"I think you'll like it."** **  
** **  
** **"Did you seriously get me a bikini cause I swear to god Wade"** **  
** **  
** **"It's a surprise!! Just get to school as early as possible and go to room 196."** **  
**  
He had totally forgotten about all of his problems from last night just for a couple moments. The car ride with Tony would be... tense. Peter knew that the word "tense" is a complete understatement.  
  
**"I don't know... I'll try."** **  
** **  
** **"Great. I love you. See you soon."**  
  
~~**"I love you even more if that's even possible. Thank you for showing me that you still care."** ~~ **  
** **  
** **"Love you more."** **  
**  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
Small footsteps gradually made their way down the stairs. He wanted to run and hide. He wished to escape and go anywhere else but here. He was expecting a foreboding silence that would be even worse than yesterday. He managed to let down the people that had put all of their faith into him. And now, His own father loathed him.  
  
When Tony confessed how he really felt about Peter at the table, something finally clicked inside of him. There's no way he could be the same anymore now that he knew how his father felt. It was like a gnawing pain that was eating him away inside. Chewing at all of the hopes dreams and ambitions he once had. What the point of his future if he didn't even have his parents to support him with his journey? What was the purpose if he let down the people that mattered most?  
  
How did he fail at the most basic job of making his parents proud of him?  
  
The brunette sighed as he looked down at his saddening outfit for the day. He had on his winter coat with a slightly baggy sweater under it.  
  
He had the urge to take it off when he realized that it was Tony's. A confidence crushing self-doubt came over Peter when he thought that he just wasn't worthy enough to wear it.  
  
_Was it sad that this was the closest that he and his father had been in weeks?_  
  
Peter decided not to. He was already halfway down the stairs and didn't even have the energy to change his clothes. He glanced down at the sweatpants that were just as baggy as the sweatshirt. He looked like a complete mess and he didn't even think that he brushed his hair. He internally sighed, it was probably a mess of fluff in several different directions.  
  
It didn't matter, not really. He thought of himself unattractive anyway. MJ and her group of friends said it and so did Flash. They practically reminded him every single day. So Peter knew that there was no point in wearing anything that took effort because deep down, he wasn't worth it anymore.  
  
Tired brown eyes scanned the dining room grimly. He was expecting to see Tony in the kitchen, doing his own thing, keeping the frustrating silence with his ignorance. Or, talking quietly with Steve, but noticing Peter coming from upstairs and then turn away.  
  
He was disappointed but not that surprised when he didn't see Tony at all. His eyes only landed on Steve who was inside of the kitchen rummaging through the cabinets.  
  
"W-where's Dad?" The brunette asked, his voice was trembling the slightest because he already knew the answer to that question.  
  
Steve turned his attention to his son, his eyes dropping with an apologetic manner. He placed both of his hands on the small shoulders and cleared his throat. He had to be strong for Peter. He had to do everything in his power to let him know that he and Tony will always love him, no matter what. "He's in his office." Rogers began. "He just needs some time by himself for a while."  
  
Peter dropped his head, gazing at the floor. "It's all my fault..." He whispered. "Isn't it?"  
  
"No, Peter, no." Steve tried his best to reassure his son but he didn't know what he could say any more. Nothing he could do would make this situation better for Peter. It was up to Tony, but he wasn't budging. "Please don't blame yourself... none of this is your fault."  
  
"Am I..." The brunette whimpered. "Pushing him away?"  
  
"Peter... I know things have been difficult lately. And I'm sorry. But you're not, I promise you."  
  
A shaky sigh escaped Peter's figure. The blond could feel his son already begin to tremble. "I'm really sorry Pa..." He murmured. "I'm so sorry I screwed everything up."  
  
"Don't apologize..." Steve said. "Just continue being strong for you father and I. Both of you guys will be alright."  
  
Peter nodded sadly. As a weak "Okay." Escaped his lips.  
  
"Tony will come around eventually."  
  
The brunette wished that he had the time or the patience for eventually. He didn't know how much longer he could take this. At this point completely giving up would be so much easier.  
  
"How did you sleep?" Peter's father changed the subject. "Do you feel well enough to go to school today? If you don't want to... I'm not going to force you."  
  
"It was okay." Peter admitted. He certainly didn't feel like he was about to collapse or that the planets were weighing down on his eyelids with an extreme sleepiness, so today couldn't be _that_ bad. "I don't feel too tired... I think I'll be fine today."  
  
Steve let out a shaky breath of relief. He was glad the Peter was finally getting some sleep again. "That's good. Let me know if anything changes, okay?"  
  
Peter nodded. "Of course."  
  
"Are you hungry?" Steve asked.  
  
"No." The brunette whispered. His voice came out small and quick. Peter knew that there was no way that he could eat anything right now. For once, it wasn't because of the heavy anticancer medication. It was because he wasn't in the mood to eat, he was feeling too upset.  
  
Panic fled through Steve's veins. He didn't remember the last time he had seen his son actually eat. Yesterday, When he left for work he only saw Peter eat a fourth of his omelet. He didn't know if he packed any lunch either, unlikely. And he only had a couple bites of his dinner before Tony made him upset. "Are you sure?" Steve asked. "You barely touched your food last night."  
  
The brunette nodded. "I'm sure. I don't feel like eating."  
  
Steve frowned. He knew that his son should at least eat something this morning. Because if the blond were being honest with himself, this was probably the only thing that he would be eating all day.  
  
The blond made his way back towards the kitchen and pulled something from the cabinets, walking back towards Peter.  "Here." He said, handing the object to his son. "At the least eat this."  
  
Peter took the item from his father and scanned it. He read the label and noticed that it was one of his protein bars that helped build muscle.  
  
The brunette internally laughed. There was absolutely no way that he could eat this on a good day. He let out a tiny smile, appreciating his father's efforts. "Thanks, Pa."  
  
"Let me know when you're ready for me to drop you." Steve said. Peter actually smiled for once. Nowadays, that was pretty rare. Usually, he would play his guitar in his room and maybe sing just a little bit. But now, the only thing Steve heard from Peter's room were his cries.  
  
The blond was trying so hard. He would go into Peter's room to try and comfort him. On the good days, Peter would open up and let his father in. The brunette's tears would stain his father's shirt as illegible words muddled through his lips. Steve tried to listen the best he could and comfort by just being there for his son. Eventually, Peter would cry himself to sleep on his father's shoulder.  
  
On the unlucky days, Steve would come upstairs and beg Peter to open up. But his son wouldn't. He would ask the blond to leave. Even through his cries, he managed to say the two words that Peter had been saying his entire life.  
  
_"I'm fine."_ _  
_  
"What about Tony? Don't you have to go to work?" Peter asked, tearing his father out of his thoughts.  
  
"Tony... asked me to drop you today..." Steve lied. He knew that his husband was in his office and it was just best not to bother him if he was down there. He has learned from experience.  
  
_'Oh_ .'  
  
"I don't want to be a bother then..." The brunette said. "I can just walk today."  
  
The blond shook his head. "I don't want you out in the cold Peter." He whispered. "I have no problem driving you to school."  
  
"You shouldn't be late to work because of me, Pa."  
  
"Don't worry about it." Steve reassured. "I'll drop you."  
  
"Alright. Thank you."  
  
Steve wrapped his arms around his son and gave him a tight hug. "Your father and I will always love you. You mean the world to us."  
  
"Nothing will ever change that. No matter what anyone says or whatever happens in the future. You will always be our son and we will love you with all of our hearts. You're the best thing that's ever happened to us. Please don't ever forget that."  
  
_Peter wished he could believe him._  
  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
Peter took slow steps into the building. Only a handful of students were seen wandering the halls. In addition to, a few janitors who were cleaning up before the rest of the students came in to make even more messes.  
  
The brunette kept his head down walking through the halls. Just like the first day of school, his small figure was hidden inside of his slightly baggy darkened clothes. He went to his locker and placed his coat inside while getting some of the books he needed for the rest of the day.  
  
In the beginning, it seemed like he was a specimen on display for everyone to stare at. Like he was an alien... or that he was different in some way. But now, it seemed like everyone was finally starting to ignore him and get used to him being around the school. Eventually, the stares dropped down and the other students stopped asking questions.  
  
_Well, almost everyone._ _  
_ _  
_ Flash and his friends were still harassing him to this day. It had been a couple months into the school year already, couldn't they give him a break? Peter could tell that the constant threats from Flash were beginning to weigh him down. He knew that he shouldn't take actual offense... but the words that Flash used were so cruel and mean. Especially MJ and her friends... Peter had barely known her for a year and she was already sick of seeing his face.  
___________________  
_"Can't you just do everyone a favor and disappear?"_  
___________________  
  
Sometimes he wished that he would gradually fade away like sand in a tilted hand. He would gradually fade away into the wind, never to be seen again. And after, everyone could finally be happy. Maybe he was just better off alone...  
  
The brunette took steps up the tile steps. Even if Wade wasn't at the school, he had no problem waiting for him. Some alone time wouldn't hurt, even if it were for a couple minutes.  
  
He paused and stopped halfway up the stairs. Cold hands became pale as they tightened their grip on the railing, trying to keep balance. Vertigo dominated his vision as he tried to focus his eyes on the spinning room. His chest started to tighten with a growing pressure. Like the muscles in his chest were cramping, leaving him breathless. It was hard to inhale and exhale as a heavy pain was pressing down on his chest, not allowing it to expand to its full length.  
  
He could feel his body begin to hyperventilate. Taking simple breaths in and out seemed like it was taking up most of his energy. Brown eyes fluttered as the mundane task was increasing the amount of drowsiness that was already consuming his figure.  
  
In moments like this, he felt like a slave to his own body. The pain was everywhere, it was crippling and he just wanted it all to stop. Moments like these made his body swell with fear, he wasn't in control. He couldn't control what his body did or what it was eventually going to do. He was just a bystander, observing in pain as the agony ran its course through his body.  
  
_'Come on... not today... please not today.'_ _  
_  
Peter brought the inside of his elbow to his face as he felt sandpaper ripping against his throat. His lower abdomen began jerking in pain with each cough that left his body. The tightening was replaced with a burning pain that radiated from his chest and went outwards towards the rest of his limbs. Each cough that escaped his body left a pounding in his head with eyes on the brink of watering.  
  
_'Please... just stop... please.'_  
  
He didn't want to draw the attention of anyone around. Having someone guide him to the nurse because he couldn't breathe would be an absolute disaster. Since Steve was on his way to work, Tony would have to pick him up and he definitely he wasn't ready to talk to him again, how could he? Peter didn't want to be even more of an inconvenience than usual. He didn't want to pull Tony away from his work that Peter knew was more important.  
  
After all, he had spent more time in his office than talking to his son.  
  
Eventually, the dry sensation in Peter's throat began to diminish as his abdomen fell still. Each pulse in his head became weaker and weaker with each second that passed. Peter removed his arm away from his face as he went through some breathing exercises that Tony had told him a while ago. He was trying his best to steady his rapid breathing.  
  
He opened his eyes and wiped the tears of pain with his sleeve. Sniffling, he continued his way up the stairs. He went as slow as possible, trying his best not to cause his body to freak out and have another coughing fit. The brunette's body was still shaking slightly with the chill of fear that surrounded him.  
  
In the past, he coughed occasionally but they were manageable. He could still breathe afterward. This time, the series of coughs sucked away all of the tiny energy he had left. The only thing he currently wanted to do was collapse. It was pretty rare, but Peter guessed with his luck it was bound to happen sooner or later. He only had the fits whenever he was exposed to something that could irritate his lungs, making it harder to breathe.  
  
He guessed it was probably the cold? What else could it possibly be? No one was smoking, there wasn't any fog, and he wasn't having a panic attack. He scoffed at the thought, he couldn't even go outside during his favorite season because his only lung would have a seizure, as it did a couple minutes ago.  
  
_Perks of having underdeveloped lungs._ _  
_ _  
_ _Perks of having lung cancer._ _  
_  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
Peter creaked open the classroom door. He took a couple steps inside letting the freezing air chill him over. He cursed himself under his breath, he wished that he kept his coat on. The sunlight shining through one of the windows was the only source of light inside of the darkened room.  
  
"Wade?" He called.  
  
No response.  
  
It was nice for a while, just sitting in a darkened silence with no interruptions. For once he would finally have his thoughts to himself, he could finally sit in a peaceful silence as he watched the sun shine its beautiful rays through the window. He was alone... but not completely lonely. For he didn't mind—  
  
An equivalent of a wrecking ball came into Peter's backside, swallowing the small body into a gigantic one.  
  
The sudden rush made Peter's heart pound inside of his chest, he felt his breathing hitch as he struggled to return it to its cool and normal composure.  
  
Dozens of warm kisses landed on the sides of Peter's face. The brunette could feel the stubble of the other male's chin tickle his face.  
  
"Didn't expect you to get here so early." The voice mused.  
  
"Wade..." Peter whispered. "I-"  
  
"Y'know..." Wade mumbled into his cheek. "You're so fantastic to cuddle because you're so small I can hold all of you..."  
  
"Wade-"  
  
"No place misses out on my hug. You get the full hug... all my love."  
  
"I can't-"  
  
"Did I mention how beautiful you look today?"  
  
"I can't breathe!"  
  
Wilson automatically let go of his grip on his boyfriend's trembling body. Peter was hunched over one of the desks, holding onto one for support. His battered lung was struggling to catch a single breath.  
  
"Oh, shit..." Wade apologized, his hands were pressed over his mouth. "Jesus Christ I'm so so sorry... I didn't mean to."  
  
The brunette lifted his body up, slowly getting his breathing at back at a normal rate. He made his way closer to his boyfriend and buried his body into his chest. Carefully wrapping Wade's arm around his body.  
  
He placed Wade's muscular arm on his shoulder, tracing the soft fibers of his jacket with his finger tips. "No, don't apologize... it's alright." Peter said. "Just... don't crush me like that. My weak body can't handle it."  
  
"It won't happen again." Wade whispered. He internally cursed himself, he didn't mean to hurt Peter. "Promise."  
  
"So..." The brunette asked. "What's the surprise?"  
  
A half smile rose to Wade's lips. "Eager, aren't you?"  
  
Peter wrapped both of his hands around one of his boyfriend's warm hands. "I just want to make sure it's not-"  
  
Wade's sudden jerking motion caused Peter to stop in the middle of his sentence. "Jesus Christ killer frost!"  
  
"What?" Peter questioned, pulling his body away. "Is something wrong?"  
  
"Your hands, Pete." Wade exclaimed. "They're freezing!" Peter's hands brought Wade's  thoughts to a time when he had stuck one of his hands inside of a freezer for an hour cause his brother dared him to. He got twenty dollars and a limited edition Pokémon card so it was pretty fucking worth it.  
  
Peter took a good look at his hands and noticed that his fingernails were turning blue.  
  
That wasn't a good sign.  
  
"Are you cold?" The brunette heard a voice ask. "Pfft, stupid question. Here, have my jacket."  
  
Wade quickly pulled off his black jacket and held towards Peter waiting for him to take it. Underneath, Wade was wearing a black long sleeve shirt that hugged his arms perfectly.  
  
Peter quickly shook his head, trying to shake out the thoughts he got from eyeballing Wade freaking perfect body.  
  
He couldn't take Wade's jacket, what if he got cold? It wasn't fair to him when Peter knew he had one inside of his locker. "No, it's okay." Peter refused. "I'm fine."  
  
Hazel eyes rolled playfully. "Just take the jacket. Hypothermia kills."  
  
"I'm not even cold." Peter lied.  
  
Wade narrowed his eyes. "I will literally put this jacket on you." Peter could be so stubborn sometimes. And Wade knew that he would be fine, it was rare that he actually got cold.  
  
The brunette sighed, he knew he wasn't going to win this one, again. "Fine." He said, taking the jacket from Wade's hand. "If you get cold just let me know and I'll give your jacket back, okay?"  
  
"Unlikely."  
  
Peter slid the sleeves on his arms as he lifted the jacket up to his shoulders. They practically engulfed his bony arms. His hands were hidden within the jacket as inches of it went past his fingertips. The brunette felt like he was wearing an oversized blanket. He didn't mind though, it was extremely warm... and it smelled like Wade too.  
  
"Thanks." Peter whispered. He brought his body back into Wade's chest, letting his arms wrap lovingly around his body. The coldness vanished away from him as soon as he snuggled into his boyfriend. The other male's hands were rubbing protective circles on Peter's back, sending a source of comfort through the brunette's subconscious.  
  
"I don't know how.... but you're so warm..." Peter moaned into Wade's body. "It's nice..."  
  
_'Fuck'_ _  
_  
"Uhh..." The brunette could feel the blood rush up his face. "I umm.... didn't mean to say that."  
  
Wilson let out a small shrug. "I'll take the compliment anyway."  
  
"Now to the best part... the big surprise." He smiled. "I just know you'll love it."  
  
Wade removed his arms and rummaged through his backpack on one of the desks. Eventually, he pulled out two slips of small rectangular paper with black writing on it.  
  
Peter stared at Wade with confusion. "What are these?" He asked.  
  
Wilson gave one of the slips of paper to Peter. "Just take a closer look."  
  
Peter took a closer look at the paper in his hands with the tiny words scribbled onto it. Peter read through it. He was unfamiliar with it at first, but when he figured it out he froze.  
  
_Movie tickets_ _  
_  
"Wade..." Peter began. He already knew that he couldn't go. Tony didn't even want him being friends with Wade. How could he convince him to let him go out to see a movie?  
  
Wade placed one of his hands on Peter's shoulder with a bright and innocent smile on his face. "Before you say no." He said. "Let me explain."  
  
"I really want you to see this movie with me." Wade had been excited about this moment since he got the tickets. Sitting in the back of a movie theatre with Peter would probably be the highlight of his week. He wanted this whole moment to be a surprise... he wanted Peter to be happy. But all his baby boy did was frown at the tickets. He didn't expect this reaction...  
  
"I-I don't know if I can go, Wade... Tony and I are..." Peter hesitated. "On edge I guess you could say."  
  
"What happened?" Wilson asked. It wouldn't take a genius to figure out that this must of been the reason why his chronic case of sulking came back when he saw the gift.  
  
"Well... at the dinner table... " The brunette's voice started, but it quickly became a broken whisper. "We got into a small argument."  
  
"Is it bad that I already know what it's about?"  
  
"If we had neighbors in pretty sure they would know what it was about..." Peter continued."Its was just Tony expressing his... dislike about our relationship."  
  
"You're sugar coating." Wade said. "What did he say?"  
  
"He umm... kinda thinks that... well... you're...."

  
Peter didn't want to tell Wade this. How could he? Wade was the complete opposite of what Tony described him to be. The brunette tried his best to brush it off. He didn't believe what his father said. He knew that it wasn't true and that his dad was just upset. And people say things they don't mean when they're upset.  
  
Or at least, that's what Peter was hoping.  
  
"I shouldn't say." He shook his head, changing the subject. "And it would take a miracle to convince my parents to actually let me go... Tony would probably say no and if he says no then Steve probably won't let me go at all."  
  
"Oh." Wade simply said. He couldn't really relate to Peter's dilemma. His dad didn't really care where he went or what he did. As long as he didn't bring any children home, he could do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted to.  
  
"Maybe I can persuade them depending on when the movie is..." Peter said. "Hopefully Steve can convince him to let me get out of the house for once... only if it's for a couple hours."  
  
"When is the movie?"  
  
"Uhh..." Wade laughed nervously. "Okay... don't get mad but..."  
  
"But what?" Peter asked. As long as it wasn't today, he was pretty sure that he could probably go.  
  
"It's tonight."  
  
The only sliver of hope that Peter had of going was now gone. He dropped his head from Wade's eyes and let it a deep sigh.  
  
"Hey, I told you not to get mad."  
  
The brunette's features dropped. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"  
  
"Cause y'know..." Wade mumbled happily. "It was a surprise!"  
  
"Surprise!"  
  
"I can't go... I'm sorry... it's a definite no from Tony. I mean... this is last minute and I haven't even spoken to him since last night... it's unlikely that if I call him that will even pick up or talk to me..."  
  
"And even if, look at what I'm wearing..." Peter whispered sadly. "If we go out on a date I can't wear sweatpants and a sweater..." the brunette realized that he found a way to ruin everything. Wade took his time to plan something nice for their date and Peter found a way to mess it up. He couldn't even go out with his boyfriend and on the one day that actually mattered, he ended up looking like a mess.  
  
Wade wrapped his arms around Peter and embraced him into a hug. He placed soft kisses on the side of his face. Of course, even when Wade knew that it was his own fault, Peter would always find a way to blame himself. "It doesn't matter what you wear..." He said. "You always look beautiful and I want to spend some time with you."  
  
"I don't know Wade..." The brunette whispered, sighing to Wilson's chest.  
  
"Please just ask?"  
  
"Okay..." Peter said. "But no promises that I can go."  
  
Wade brought his lips downwards to kiss Peter's forehead. "Love you." He murmured. "Thanks for putting up with me."  
  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
The two of them moved to the floor, sure it was uncomfortable, but it was bearable. Their backs were pressed against a wall as Peter was leaning into Wade's body, letting his boyfriend's arm wrap around his body.  
  
His head was pressed onto Wade's chest. He was listening to the steady thump of the other male's heart beat. It was soothing, actually. His thoughts were finally in a joyful place. He wasn't focused on Tony ignoring him or Flash and MJ loathing him. He was just focused on Wade. The person he loved, and the one who loved him back.  
  
Wade used his other hand to run it through the curly fluff that was Peter's hair. Each strand was dancing gracefully in each of his fingertips. He repeated the cycle back and forth. It didn't matter what direction Wade ran his hands in, Peter's hair still managed to look perfect anyway.    
  
The silence between them wasn't a depressing one like the feeling between him and Tony. It swelled Peter's body up with a strong sense of heat that burned away all of the demons he had eating away at his mind. Wade, himself, was the essence of light, heat, and warmth. He was the sunlight that came down on a springs day. Not too cold, not too hot. He was the beautiful, comforting thought that freed his mind from the most painful days that surrounded his body when waves of vulnerability and desolation became too much and tried to drown him. Wade was a physical and mental reminder that everything would get better eventually.    
  
"Are you okay?" Wade whispered. His voice tore Peter from his thoughts. "You seem a little off."  
  
The brunette nodded. "I'm okay."  
  
"You sure?"  
  
"Positive." Peter said, holding onto Wade's free hand. "You don't need to worry about me so much."  
  
"Something's bothering you. And you promised you would tell me earlier this morning. Spill."  
  
Peter sighed, using his fingers to trace the patterns of Wade's soft hand. Memorizing every single detail. Like the tiny birthmark in his index finger, or the small scar on his thumb. "It's just my dad.." Peter confessed.  
  
"What happened?" Wade asked. "You know you can tell me anything."  
  
"He doesn't want us to be together anymore" The brunette whispered. Each word became quieter and quieter. "He said that you're dating me to feel better about yourself... or you're dating me as a joke."  
  
Peter sighed. "He thinks that you're just going to..."  
  
This part hurt the most to say out loud. Only because the first part had happened to Peter before.  
  
"Use my body for your own purposes...and get rid of me when you're done."  
  
"I-I would never..." Wade stuttered out. He loved Peter with every ounce of his heart. He would never force Peter into that position. If his baby boy didn't wasn't ready for something, then he wouldn't force him to do it. "Why would he think that?"  
  
"I-I don't know..."  
  
"Who would ever do that to use someone else? It's absolutely... disgusting and degrading..."  
  
_'Please don't think about Skip.'_ _  
__  
__'Now here. Not now. Not ever.'_ _  
_  
Peter shrugged. "Who knows?"  
  
"You don't believe him..." Wade said hesitantly. "Do you?"  
  
Peter turned towards Wade, letting his eyes stare into the hazel ones. He trusted Wade with everything he had. He knew that he wouldn't hurt him like Skip did, ever. "Of course not." Peter said, lifting his body to place a kiss on his boyfriend's cheek. "I trust you."  
  
"I have so much respect for you..." Wade whispered. He used one of his hands to cup Peter's cheek. He felt the brunette hold the hand that was on his face gently. Wilson had the brown eyes stare at him with a heartwarming contempt. Peter had been through so much as a child. He had so much strength to keep on going and fighting whatever the universe threw his way. "I would never harm you like that."  
  
A grin rose to the side of Peter's face he tightened his grip on Wade's hand. The brunette knew that he was safe, he was loved. "I know."  
  
"Maybe I could bake him something..." Wade asked. "Food always helps."  
  
"I don't think so." Peter shook his head.  
  
Wilson scoffed. "I have my mom's recipe of heavenly almond macaroons. They are the best thing I have ever eaten in my entire life. I swear Pete they literally hit the spot."  
  
"Anytime I was upset... they made me feel so happy. I'll have to make them for you one day." Wade smiled. "Maybe they could help your chronic case of brooding."  
  
"Ha ha." Peter mumbled. "Thanks, but I can't."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I'm allergic." The brunette said.  
  
"How are you allergic to macaroons?"  
  
Peter narrowed his eyes. "Almonds, stupid."  
  
"How much? Like a little bit? Cause I know someone that's kinda allergic to vanilla but she eanywayanyways and she's still okay but she-"  
  
The brunette's small chuckle interrupted Wade's impending ramble. "I'd probably be dead before they reach my stomach."  
  
"Oh..." Wilson nodded slowly. "Well... that's okay. When I was ten I came up with this really cool peanut butter cookie recipe."  
  
"Have you ever had a peanut butter cookie?"  
  
"Uhh yeah.. of course." Peter said.  
  
"To clarify, by a peanut butter cookie I mean peanut butter spread on top of a cookie with another cookie on top of it."  
  
"Oh...Okay then... uhh I guess I haven't then."  
  
"Those angelic foods were the highlight of my childhood." Wade mused. Cookies and macaroons could instantly make his day better. Well, any food in general.  
  
"Tell me about it?" Peter questioned.  
  
"The cookie?" Wade's voice rose up in confusion. "It's pretty self explanatory... you just get one cookie and-"  
  
"Your childhood, idiot. Tell me more about you."  
  
"Eh..." Wade shrugged his shoulders. His childhood was as boring as it could get. He wasn't interesting or unique. He didn't have any amazing stories to share. He was just Wade. Plain and simple.  
  
"I told you my sob story." Peter argued. Well, he told him some of his depressing life story. "Now you have to tell me yours."  
  
"If you insist...but prepared to get really bored." The most interesting part of his childhood was when he invented the cookie. That was about it.  
  
The brunette grinned. "I like boring." He admitted.  
  
"I had a normal childhood, y'know? I was a young child that ate his green vegetables and eventually grew up. I went to school and I played sports... blah blah blah nothing fancy. Let's move onto you-"  
  
"What sports did you play?" The brunette asked. Peter had always wanted to swim. He thought that the water was completely mesmerizing. That's what he wanted when he was younger. Now, he was afraid of drowning. Not that he had never been swimming or had a near death experience of drowning but during the times when he woke up in the middle of the night with fluid in his lungs, he always imagined _that's_ what drowning felt like.  
  
Wilson hesitated for a couple seconds before answering. "The basics...soccer, football, track, and basketball..." He had gone through all of them with ease as a kid. His father practically forced him into all of them, even the ones he hated. He was relieved when he able to quit playing most of them. He still enjoyed football and going for evening runs occasionally though.  
  
"Any hobbies?" The brunette asked.  
  
Wilson shrugged again. "I'm about as basic as a teenager can get. I like to sleep... eat... cook... and eat again. Yeah... eating is fun."  
  
Before Peter could interrogate Wade about his childhood even more, Wade interrupted him with a question of his own.  
  
"Tell me about yourself now." He asked. "What do you like?"  
  
The brunette put his index finger on Wade's lips attempting to shush him. "I wasn't done!" He giggled.  
  
Wade held of his fingers in his hand, gently pulling it away from his face. "Well too bad." He said. "You have to answer my questions now."  
  
Peter huffed, pulling his finger from Wade's grasp. "Well..." He began. "You already know that I play the guitar."  
  
"When did you learn?" Wade asked. Instead of filling his extracurriculars with sports he wished that he learned how to at least play one instrument. The closest thing he had ever learned to play was the recorder in elementary school.  
  
_But we don't speak of that._  
  
"When I was eleven... Tony taught me." Peter continued. "I obviously wasn't a very social person... and I didn't have many friends as you already know. So they wanted me to try something new. I obviously can't do any sports so they tried something else."  
  
"Didn't you go to school?"  
  
"Umm... no... This is my first time." Peter said shyly. A lot of other people seemed to think that he was weird because he was homeschooled. He really hoped that Wade didn't think that he was too.  
  
"When you were younger..." Wade began. He didn't want to offend Peter by incorrectly phrasing the question. He knew he had a problem with that. "Did you just not want to...? Or were you just unable to go?"  
  
"Uhh... a little bit of both actually."  
  
"The cancer was really bad when I was younger... but eventually I got better. Or I guess, decent enough to not stay in the children's section of the ICU."  
  
"I was finally able to go back home and I didn't want to leave because I was scared that one day … something could happen and I would never see it again...So I didn't go to school. I didn't want to."  
  
"Do you like school so far?" Wade asked. Personally, he would've chosen to learn at home. Instead of waking up early and coming here, he could stay in the comfort of his own home. Literally eating whenever he wanted to. That would be a blessing.  
  
"Ehhh." The brunette shrugged. "It's okay. Could be better, could be worse."  
  
"But I like coming here because it's nice seeing you everyday." Peter smiled.  
  
Wade tilted his head."Really?"  
  
"Yes." The brunette nodded.  
  
"Why?" Wilson asked. "I'm kind of a loser..."  
  
"You make me feel normal..." Peter mused, laying his head back onto Wade's chest. "You always find a way to distract me from my sickness..."  
  
"You make my already limited days seem endless."  
  
Wilson hesitated as he processed the words that Peter said. "Wait, hold on." He said. " _BACK_ _UP_ , Limited days?"  
  
The brunette turned to look up at his boyfriend. His hazel eyes were staring down at him with hints of disbelief and confusion. "Wade..." Peter began. "You already know that I have lung cancer, don't you?"  
  
" _And_?"  
  
"It's stable for now..." Peter murmured quietly. He didn't like saying this either, but he knew that it was going to happen eventually. It always did. "But one day it's going to get bad again... and then kick my ass."  
  
Wade let out a deep sigh  as he tilted his head back and rested it on the wall. "Jesus fuck Pete... you scared the shit out of me." He moaned. His heart was racing in his chest as his palms started to sweat. He thought that he was going to lose _him_ , lose his everything. "You can't just say that kind of stuff to me...I thought you were dying."  
  
"But... I am. Just really slowly... The medicine slows down the growth... but it doesn't prevent-"  
  
"No. Nope. Nein. No. You're not." Wade interrupted him, bringing his head from the wall to face Peter. "You're not dying, Okay? Promise me you won't talk like that..."  
  
Peter hesitated. He wasn't going to put any false hope into Wade, that would be cruel. Just like Harry tried to do with him all those years ago. "I don't think I can-"  
  
"No, Peter." Wade said. His voice came out desperate and shaky. Peter couldn't die, he meant to much to him. He couldn't lose someone he cared about, again. He had barely made it through that last time. "Promise me... please..." He put one of his clammy palms on the side of Peter's face. Holding on as gently as he could when he really wanted to hold his baby boy as tightly as possible and never let go.  
  
Peter weakly held onto Wade's hand. Giving him small squeezes with a reassuring smile spread on his face. "Okay... I'm sorry" He whispered. "I promise."  
  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
A drunken groan escaped Tony's lips. He could feel the tiny beads of sweat on his forehead. He tried to open his eyes, but the lamp was shining blades right into his corneas. He shut them and attempted to push the lamp away.  
  
It fell miserably off of the desk and onto the floor. The light bulb broke into a mess of shards along with his alcohol glass from a while ago. Stark flinched when the bulb shattered on the floor, the sound sent painful pulses through his head. It was as if was someone was repeatedly smashing it into a brick wall.  
  
Oh well, at least the light was turned off.  
  
He cracked open his sticky eyes halfway to scan around the room. Was it morning already? Tony groaned in pain as he remembered that he needed to wake Peter up to go to school. He attempted to lift his head from his desk but it was as if it outweighed every part of his body. It kept bobbing and dropping with each breath he took.  
  
It slammed back down onto the wooden desk, sending supernovas of pain through his whole body and his skull.  
  
_"Peter... W-Wake up... for school..."_ He moaned into the desk.  
  
The room began to spin rapidly, increasing the dizziness inside of Tony's head. Thousands of pounds began to weigh down his body as everything felt so sore. His eyelids felt like cement blocks as he tried to fight the fatigue. He was trying his best to keep them open, he couldn't. He just needed a couple more minutes to process what was actually going on. Was he dreaming? Was he even really awake?  
  
Tony didn't understand why he felt like such shit. He didn't think that he had _that_ much to drink the other night. He remembered only drinking about five glasses... within thirty minutes... after he woke up from the couch. That's the only thing he really remembered.  
  
Well shit.  
  
_He was hungover, again._ _  
__  
__#1 Dad._ _  
_  
The demon inside of the bottle that didn't even help he forget about any of his problems waited until morning to kick him right in the ass.  
  
_He deserved it anyway._  
  
Even from having alcohol issues since the age of sixteen, he knew that there was one thing that the alcohol can't fix.  
  
Him.  
  
The divine liquid that he drank to help him cower into his subconscious so he wouldn't have to face his problems didn't get rid of them or fix his self destructive habits.  
  
The alcohol basically laughed at him as it watched Tony's pained expressions from the after effects. His pitiful attempts to fix his broken self as was amusing to witness. He would eventually have to come face to face with every ounce of  fear that he had buried deep inside of his soul. Nothing could ever take that away.  
  
He knew he deserved it anyway.  
  
Tony's arms twitched as he placed both of his palms onto the table. He used all of the feeble strength he had to push his upper body off of the table.  
  
He pressed his hand to his temples and blinked, wiping his eyes trying to get rid of the burning tears that resided inside of them. Was he crying alcohol?  
  
His knees bucked under him as he lifted his body off of the chair. Each step he took throbbed in his head as he was holding onto the wall for support.  
  
This was getting annoying.  
  
He has had worse hangovers in the past, considering once he had to go to the hospital to get his stomach pumped when he was seventeen. He was binge drinking his problems away, the usual. He didn't remember where he collapsed but his roommate found him.  
  
When Tony came to, the hospital told him that he had a moderate case of alcohol poisoning. They called Howard, but of course, he didn't really care. He just wanted to keep this whole thing a secret because he didn't want his son running his reputation.  
  
His feet made their way up the stairs slowly, slightly stumbling over one another. He walked towards the kitchen, Desperately trying to consume anything that would cure his hangover, or at least keep the nausea at bay.  
  
_Tony wasn't religious._ _  
__  
__Steve wasn't religious._ _  
__  
__Peter wasn't religious._ _  
_  
But thank the lord for their blessed household. A sloppy smile grew onto Tony's lips as he held the box of the heavenly substance in front of him.  
  
_Coffee_.  
  
The #1 hangover cure. Or at least to him anyway  
  
It's sad that this was the happiest he had felt in a month?  
  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
Eventually, Tony's feet padded on carpet as he found his way into his son's room. He stood at the doorway for a couple moments, unsure if he should even come inside. How could he ever look at Peter again?  
  
__________  
_"What the hell has he done to you? Are you seriously buying all of the lies and the fake smiles that he's feeding you?"_ _  
__  
__"Are you that blind that you can't see that he is just a control freak? He is doing this so he can boost his own self esteem!"_ _  
__  
__"He doesn't love you."_ _  
_ __________  
  
Tony closed his eyes and stared down at the floor. He took in a shaky breath in as he remembered all of the words he said. That sharp pang of guilt piercing his lonesome, beaten, and battered heart. The only job he had was to be a good father, but of course, he managed to screw that up too. It was as if he didn't even have a heart.

 

 _To some people that was debatable._ _  
_  
He took hesitant, guilt ridden steps inside. He sat down on Peter's bed, turning his head to scan around the room, soaking up all of the scenery in front of him.  
  
Some of the old band posters that hung on the light grey walls. From AC/DC to Black Sabbath and even the beatles. They were old posters that belonged to Tony and Steve. Peter's music taste was based off of theirs, so he enjoyed the same things that they did. Steve didn't want to hang all of the pictures inside of their room and he didn't want them gathering dust inside of the boxes in the basement so he gave them to Peter. They've been inside of his room ever since.  
  
They all used to be so close? What the hell had happened within a month?  
  
_Oh right, Tony's stupidity screwed it up. His inability to be a decent father split everyone apart._ _  
_ _  
_ He remembered how he never even wanted to be a father. Not because he hated children or that he enjoyed being alone. It's was because he didn't think that he would ever make a good father.  
  
Him? Tony Stark? A parental figure?  
  
His own father would throw a laughing fit.  
  
It was a couple years after he and Steve had gotten married. Both of them were happy, Tony had finally felt loved. He had finally felt appreciated for once. He finally felt like his life had meaning.  
  
Until Steve said that they were missing something.  
  
A child.  
  
Tony knew he could never have a child. He wasn't good enough. He constantly lived in fear that if he ever became a father he would end up just like Howard. He would find a way to damage his child just like he was as a kid. The last thing Tony wanted was for his son or daughter to feel like a burden or unloved, just like he was.  
  
He didn't want to, one day, be too drunk to see his kid leave for school, like he was this very morning. He didn't want to end up like his father.  
  
_But he already did? Didn't he?_ _  
_ _  
_ Steve kept trying to convince him that he would make the an excellent father. And that there's no such thing as a perfect parent. Everyone made mistakes now and then, but as long as he gave his unconditional love to his child, that was enough.  
  
It took Tony six months to finally gather up enough confidence to give Steve an answer.  
  
And when he did  
  
It was the happiest he had ever been in his life.  
  
They had finally gotten him home from the NICU. He born at thirty weeks and needed extra medical care to keep him alive. He was kept inside of a small incubator to help him keep warm since he was unable to do it himself. He had dozens of hospital blankets surrounding him with only a white diaper on his body.  
  
Peter was connected to a ventilator to help him breathe since his lungs weren't fully developed. IVs we're going into his arms as a tube went inside of his nose that lead into his stomach so he could "eat" and become normal weight. He also had a small patches on his chest to monitor his heart rate.  
  
He was two and a half pounds and fourteen inches. According to the hospital, because he was so small and underdeveloped, he was at risk for the most complications and serious disabilities. Peter wasn't expected to speak or pick up skills as quickly as the other kids his age. The doctors already labeled him as a slower reader, a slower writer, and a slower learner.  
  
_But Tony and Steve didn't care._ _  
_ _  
_ They were holding their son in their arms. And to them, that's all that mattered. They were going to be with him every step of the way. Letting him know he was loved just the way he was.  
  
When they brought Peter home, they paid attention to certain milestones that he was supposed to reach. At three months, newborns were expected to recognize voices and turn their head in the direction of a sound.  
  
_Peter didn't._  
  
Steve and Tony had to repeat themselves several times just to get Peter's attention from far away, or stand directly in front of him. He was more focused on the mess of baby food in front of him or the decor of the walls. He would stare vacantly for what seemed like hours.  
  
At six months, most infants were expected to be able to reach out and grasp objects given to them, sometimes even bringing it to their mouths. At this stage, they should've been able to shake and play with toys.  
  
_Peter couldn't._  
  
He was unable to hold one of the spoons or the tiny forks placed in his hand. It would slip out of his grasp and into his food or onto the floor. Even when they gave him the small toys for him to play with, he wouldn't even touch them. He would just sit down and stare at the object, and then stare back at his parents. Tony and Steve had to manually do everything for him, not that they minded too much. They knew it was their job to take care of him.  
  
At nine months, children were expected to say their first words. Or at the least, make repeated babbling sounds that sounded like jumbled sentences or use their body language for non verbal communication such as waving, shaking their head, or even nodding.  
_  
_ _Peter wasn't one of them._  
  
He was silent most of the time. Steve and Tony tried getting him to say something,  But all they got were brown doe eyes bouncing off of them in a saddening confusion. Peter didn't nod or shake his head when his parents gave him choices on what to eat or what to wear. He would just stare into their eyes and then look away.  
  
At twelve months, Children’s first steps were supposed to be taken. They were beginning to develop advanced motor skills that included standing up without assistance and picking up or throwing objects.  
  
_No such luck for Peter._  
  
Tony and Steve would take Peter out of his crib or his baby chair and place him down on the living room floor. They both sat a couple feet away from him and tried to get him to come to them. Maybe he couldn't walk yet, but that was okay. They were hoping that he would at least try to crawl towards them.  
_  
_ _He wouldn't._  
  
His eyes were gazing at theirs with an unreadable expression on his face. Both of his arms were parallel in front of him, like he was reaching out to them, trying to hold onto them from far away. That exact same process happened for months and Tony and Steve didn't know what to do to help him. They took him to his pediatrician explaining that none of his physical, social, or cognitive milestones had been reached. And for months, she always said the same thing.    
  
_"Give him some time. Every preemie develops at a different rate. "_ _  
_ _  
_ It wasn't until Peter was _eighteen_ months old when things finally changed.  
  
Tony and Steve were both perched in front of Peter's crib. They had put him to bed a couple hours ago, but he wasn't sleeping. They thought they might as well try and talk to him.  
  
_"Can you say Papa or Dad for us? Please Peter?" Steve begged._ _  
_  
Tony and Steve watched their son's doe eyes bounce off of them every couple of seconds.  
  
_"We believe in you, Peter. C'mon, you can do it." Tony added._  
  
It was silent for a while before they noticed a massive smile form on Peter's face as he turned his gaze towards Tony. His arms were above his head, reaching out for him.  
  
" _Mumma?"_ _  
_ _  
_ _"Mumma!"_ _  
_  
After that Peter started catching on really quickly. At first, he began to babble in long sentences before finally learning how to speak a few real words. Eventually, he learned how to say the word " _Papa_ " but that was only when he saw Steve. Peter continued to call Tony " _Mumma_ " for a couple more months.  
  
Soon after, Peter was able to carry out simple requests. He was able to wave, hold a spoon, and even play peek-a -boo. Tony and Steve couldn't of been more proud. Then, within two more months he was able to say more words. It sounded like he was actually attempting to have a conversation, but it was still mostly random baby noises.  
  
Anything was better than silence though.  
  
Soon after, Peter took his first steps. Steve and Tony were holding each of his hands, taking small steps with him. Eventually, they wanted their son to walk on his own without assistance. They placed him on one of the rugs in the living room and sat a couple feet away from him, calling his name and asking him to walk to them.  
  
Peter stood up on his own, which was impressive, and started waddling slowly towards his parents. He was about halfway until he fell flat on his face. Tony's first instinct was to run over to his son and hold him inside of his arms and tell him that it was okay. That they could try again tomorrow.  
  
_But Steve held him back and said, "Hold on Tony, just wait. Let him try on his own."_ _  
_  
Small chubby legs eventually found their way up again as they began waddling into his parents' open arms. Was this what it felt like to be a normal family? This is how it feels like to love others more than yourself?  
  
For once in Tony's life, he felt like everything had been perfect. As the years passed, Peter became smarter and smarter. By age two he already knew how to read. He understood concepts quickly as he could hold pencils and already begin to do basic math.  
  
When Peter was almost five, He started showing certain interest in specific objects. He loved going outside and observing all the pretty things that nature had to offer. He would drag Tony and Steve outside with him to look at all of the pretty plants and the multi colored insects, animals, or rocks that he could get his hands on.  
  
For a moment Tony had gotten better, he was feeling good. He had stopped drinking. He had found the people in his life that gave it meaning. He had hope that he was actually doing something important with his life.  
_  
_ _And in a split moment he lost it all, again._  
  
Steve was at work as Tony stayed home with peter for the day. Both of them were outside, recording how many silver, black, and grey rocks they found outside.  
  
Tony remembered telling Peter that he had to go back inside to get something and to not go anywhere. Even to this day, Tony couldn't even remember why he left. But he knew that it wasn't as important as he thought it was.  
  
_Peter was more important._ _  
_ _  
_ _He shouldn't of left Peter alone._ _  
_  
When he came back out, he called Peter's name.  
  
No response.  
  
He observed the clearing they were in until he finally found his son. He collapsed on some of the flowers, unconscious. There was blood on the corner of his mouth and on his right hand.    
  
Tony didn't know how long he had been gone, maybe only two minutes? How did he manage to mess up, again?  
  
He sat in the the hospital waiting room in silence. Tony knew this was all his fault.  He called Steve, explaining what happened. How he screwed up. How their child almost died because of how much of a shit parent he was. And he expected Steve to blame him, but he didn't.  
  
All he told him was to stay calm and that he was on his way.  
  
They sat in the waiting room together, hands tightly intertwined.  
  
After an eternity of waiting, he would never forget the doctors name... and the words that came out of his mouth.  
  
_Dr. Curt Connors_  
  
He had a large yellow envelope inside of his hands, fiddling with the edges slightly. He cleared his throat and slowly gave the envelope to Tony and Steve.  
  
" _How is he?" Steve asked. "What happened?"_ _  
_  
Connors took a deep breath in and tried to keep a straight face.  
_  
_ _"Other doctors and I took a X-Ray of your son's chest to see if we could determine the cause of the blood."_ _  
_ _  
_ _"We found a... a tumor inside of his lung. It was most likely blocking some of the blood flow to his brain which caused him to fall unconscious."_ _  
_ _  
_ _"A tumor?" Tony's voice came out barely a whisper._ _  
_  
_"I'm sorry, but your son has developed… lung cancer. There's a five centimeter tumor inside of his right lung. We're lucky it hasn't spread to any of the nearby structures in his chest."_ _  
_ _  
_ _That was the exact moment when Tony’s world fell apart._ _  
_ _  
_ _"It's only in the first stage, it's very treatable." Connor's said, trying his best to reassure them._ _  
_  
_"Usually, we would remove an entire lobe or a preform a wedge resection to get rid of the piece of the lung with the tumor, but it may be too dangerous. His lungs are still slightly underdeveloped and his body may not be able to tolerate the surgery."_ _  
_ _  
_ _"A surgery can be performed to remove the tumor in its early stages... were hoping that this can cure the cancer completely."_ _  
_ _  
_ After that talk, Tony and Steve made their way towards Peter's room. He had on a hospital gown with a blue blanket draped over his body. An IV was going through his arm as he was taking slow breaths in and out.  
  
They walked closer to him and took two seats next to his son's bed. They watched him in silence, sadness evident in their features.  
  
_"What are we going to do, Steve?" Tony whispered._

  
He remembered what his father went through when he was diagnosed with liver cancer. Probably from his poor drinking habits..  
  
_"I-I don't know Tony..." He whispered._  
  
_"It's all my fault, isn't it?" Tony said. "I told you I wouldn't be a good father."_ _  
_ _  
_ _"This isn't your fault. It's none of our fault."_ _  
_ _  
_ _Tony said, "What if we can't be there the way he needs us to be? What if he can't go through this together?"_ _  
_  
_"We have been through everything together." Steve said, wrapping his arm around Tony. Letting his husband rest his head on his shoulder. “There’s nothing stronger than family.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _"And what if he...?" Tony whimpered._ _  
_ _  
_ _"Then we will go through that together too."_ _  
_  
After the surgery, there was a break of bliss. Everything seemed to be back to normal. But, the cancer came back even worse. He went through cycles of chemotherapy and radiation that left him unable to move at all. He wasn’t able to eat, or he would just rest for what seemed like days on end. Tony and Steve were there for Peter in the only way they knew how.  
  
Staying by his side and reminding him to always keep on fighting... trying to find ways to keep him comfortable and happy… and letting him know that he would always be loved.  
  
Even to this day, Tony knew how much of a fighter Peter was. He had been trying to survive since day one in a world that made it nearly impossible to do that. Tony knew that it was his job to make sure that he was protected at all times. Nothing more that the world could throw at him would harm him anymore. Not if he could help it.  
  
He would be there to shield his son from harm, always.  
  
**_Ring_ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Ring_ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Ring_ ** **_  
_ **  
Tony cursed under his breath when his cell phone started ringing. Each pulse made his alcohol induced headache even worse. He let as a pathetic groan as he checked the caller ID  
  
_Stevie_  
  
Tony let out a small chuckle at the thought. Steve hated it when he called him _'Stevie'_ or _'Steve-O'_  
  
He accepted the call and brought the phone to his ear. "Morning, Steve." He said, clearing his throat. His smile faded when he thought about what they were fighting about last night. No real hurtful words were exchanged, thank god, but they were yelling excessively about Peter.  
  
Dammit, he hoped Peter couldn't hear them yelling from downstairs.  
  
"Tony..." He heard Steve sigh over the phone. "It's the afternoon..."  
  
_'Shit_ .'  
  
Tony brought his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes. "Right... it's something o'clock..."  
  
"Have you been drinking, _again_ ?"  
  
"No." Tony lied.  
  
"Tony."  
  
"Okay... I had a little last night."  
  
Steve hesitated over the phone, but his fractured voice ripped Tony's damaged heart just a little bit more. "You promised..."  
  
"I had six cups of coffee this morning." Tony reassured him.  "So I'm fine..."  
  
"Look, I'm sorry if I upset you last night. But you shouldn't of said those words to Peter. You should've seen him last night... he was really upset..."  
  
"I know... I know..." Tony mumbled. "I'll find a way to make it up to him."  
  
"You've been saying that for weeks...how long is this going to go on between you two?"  
  
Tony was silent, he didn't actually know. When would he finally man up and apologize to his son?  
  
"Tony?"  
  
"I ... don't know." He admitted. His voice came out as a low whisper.  
  
"Could you please try to have a real conversation today? During this stage of his life... he needs you, he needs us."  
  
_'Don't be like Howard.'_ _  
_  
"Yeah... sure I'll try."  
  
"I have to get back to work, but I'll talk to you later, alright?"  
  
"Alright."  
  
"I love you, Tony. And Peter does too. Please don't forget that."  
  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
Peter was relieved when second to last period finally came to an end. Photography. They were focusing on new photo editing skills. Currently, he was touching up some photos that he took a while ago. Peter didn't bring his super expensive camera that Tony had gotten for him because he didn't want to accidentally ruin it.  
  
Today, he was editing a photo of Wade's face that he had managed to snap with his phone. Wade said he wasn't very photogenic, but Peter disagreed _tremendously_ .  
  
Gwen waited for him outside of his classroom since her class, Computer graphics, was practically next door.  
  
"Hey Gwen." Peter smiled. His only friend, but he was grateful to have her. In all honesty, he didn't know where he would be.  
  
"Hi." She greeted. "You're looking better."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"How many hours?" Gwen asked. She hoped that Peter had been getting more than enough sleep. He was going thought a lot and he deserved to be happy for once. It really hurt her when she saw his upset or unhappy.  
  
"About eight." The brunette said.  
  
"That's great, Pete!" She exclaimed. "I'm really proud of you."  
  
"Thanks." He said. "But enough about me... how have you been lately?"  
  
The blond sighed. "I don't know. I'm so stressed. I signed up for this spring internship at Oscorp and I don't know if I'll get in."  
  
"Thousands of other people from around the world are signing up too and Oscorp is only accepting twenty five people. I just... I don't know if I would actually get in."  
  
"Why wouldn't you?" Peter asked "You're literally perfect." She was in numerous extracurriculars, president of the debate team, and he was pretty sure that she is number one in her class.  
  
"I don't know about perfect..." She laughed. "But thanks."  
  
"Why Oscorp?" The brunette asked.  
  
"I really want to do something with molecular medicine."  
  
"Oh wow..." Peter said. "That's pretty cool. I know whatever you do, you'll be amazing at it."  
  
A smile rose to Gwen's cheeks.  "What about you?" She asked.  
  
"I want to do something with environmental science." Peter answered. He had always adored nature.  
  
"That sounds fun...  Why?"  
  
"I've just umm... really enjoyed nature." He admitted. "It's amazing how all of the biotic and abiotic factors interact with their environment. And have you noticed how all of the life cycles line up perfectly? I mean it's obvious because we need to survive and stuff. But have you ever thought about when thought plants take in carbon dioxide during photosynthesis and we release it during cellular respiration that the earth is just-"  
  
Peter stopped himself when he realized what he was doing, he could feel the red rising up to his cheeks. "Oh.. uhh sorry." He said. "I'm rambling."  
  
"You are such a nerd and I love it, Peter." Gwen said, chuckling to herself. He reminded her so much of her little brother, Spencer.  
  
Peter scoffed. "I'm... I'm not a nerd."  
  
"But you're my favorite nerd, so it's okay."  
  
Before Peter could reply, a sly but familiar voice traveled into his ears. " _Wow Peter_ ." It said. " _You could've tried a little harder if you wanted the other guys to notice you._ "  
  
Peter turned his head to the left and saw Liz and her group of friends standing by a pod of lockers. He and Gwen paused in their tracks, staring at them.  
  
"It's like you didn't even try to look decent. I thought gay guys were supposed to be..." she clicked her tongue. "Fabulous?"  
  
When Peter thought that he was finally having a decent day, someone just had to ruin it. Couldn't the universe just give him a break for once?  
  
"I can't believe Flash was right..." Liz shook her head, shaking her brown curls off of her shoulders. "I guess children really do learn from their parents."  
  
"Like mother like son" She shrugged sarcastically.  
  
"Oops wait" She said. "My bad"  
  
"Like father like son."  
  
"Whoops, fathers, plural."  
  
"With that kind of influence and parenting in your life, Who the hell knows how many other men you have in your room at night?"  
  
"How's your stretched asshole, Peter?"  
  
"Ignore them." Gwen murmured. She certainly want in the mood to deal with Liz and her "friends" right now. Peter didn't need to hear their lies either. Gwen knew that Liz and her gang had nothing better to do so they liked to laugh at people. It was probably the only thing they were good at. She and Peter said nothing as they began to walk away from them, keeping their gaze straight ahead.  
  
It was silent for a while between the two as they were making their way towards their next class. Peter's dropped his head towards his converse and let out a heavy sight.  
  
"Peter. Are you okay?" Gwen asked.  
  
"I just... I just don't understand why they're so mean to everyone." He whispered. What did he ever do to Liz? Or Flash?  
  
"Sometimes..." Gwen sighed. "You don't need a reason for everything in life. All you can do is just accept whatever it throws at you."  
  
"I'm really sorry that I dragged you into this with me." Peter apologized.  
  
"Dragged me in?" The blonde questioned.  
  
"Flash and his friends are hurting you because of me and I'm really sorry. I'll understand if you... don't really wanna be seen with me anymore."  
  
"Peter... Please don't let what Liz and her friends said get to your head. Their words only have value if you let them have value. And I'm pretty sure she's hated me for years."  
  
"Were best friends. And I would never leave you."  
  
"Ever."  
  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
The rest of the day went by in a breeze as Peter walked out of his last period of the day, calculus. He had the same class with MJ, but he hadn't talked to her since the whole lunch incident. She walked into the classroom surrounded by her new friends and was the first one to leave when the bell rang.  
  
Peter said his goodbye to Gwen a little while ago. He began walking to the front of the school to see if Tony was there to pick him up. Or anyone at this point. He just wanted to go home. Well, he wouldn't even really call it a home anymore. It didn't feel like one.  It was as if his mind was slowly spiraling down into an even worse state the longer he stayed inside of there. Especially when he heard the constant arguments from his parents downstairs.  
__________  
  
_"This is exactly my point Steve! He doesn't know what he's doing!"_ _  
_ _  
_ _"Tony. I understand why you're upset... but we have to let him make his own choices! We can't baby him forever!"_ _  
_  
__________  
  
Isn't home a place where one is supposed to feel loved and respected? Peter scoffed, him? The word respect meant absolutely nothing to him. How could he ever forget? He was seen an easy target. People like him didn't really get respect. His body wasn't his... it didn't  belong to him because he was too weak to defend it. And as his own father said, _"People like Wade would take advantage of it."_

  
_________________  
_"He doesn't value you!"_ _  
_ _  
_ _"I know you thinks he loves you... but he doesn't."_ _  
_ _  
_ _"Wade will just take advantage of you and when he's done, he will never look at you again."_ _  
_ ____________________ _  
_  
Just like before. Four years ago. How he was taken advantage of. How his body was touched in places he never wanted anyone to touch. How he didn't even feel safe inside of his own home for months because he was constantly on edge... just waiting for it to happen again. Peter trusted Skip... he thought they were friends.  
  
____________  
  
_"No! S-Skip pl-please... I don't want this!"_ _  
_ _  
_ _"I'm scared... please don't! It hurts!"_ _  
_ _  
_ _"C'mon Einstein. We're just going to have a little fun."_ _  
_ _  
_ _"It will be our little secret, remember? You can't tell anyone."_ _  
_ ____________  
  
Peter felt that he was weak. Just like his father said. He was just being used by someone that wanted to him for his body. There was no way that anyone else besides his parents could actually love him. Everyone just felt bad for him because apparently he couldn't take care of himself.  
  
"-eter!" A large hand landed on Peter's shoulder. Stropping him dead set in his tracks.  
  
The brunette flinched away from the touch staring up at the figure that had their hands up in the universal sin of surrender. "Are you okay? I didn't mean to frighten you again..."  
  
Peter shook the abrasive thoughts from his head. He wasn't in the past, four years ago. He wasn't a scared twelve year old anymore. He was here, at school, with Skip long gone. He was safe. Wade would never do what Skip did, ever. He trusted him with everything he had, always and forever.  
  
"S-Sorry..." Peter stammered out. "No... I'm fine. I promise. What's up?"  
  
"The movie." Wade smiled, "Remember?"  
  
"Oh...right... sorry I haven't asked… but I will." Peter apologized.  
  
The brunette slowly pulled out his phone and went through his contacts. There wasn't much. It was only his parents, Wade, Gwen, and the hospital.  
  
Honestly, it was quite sad but kind of funny to Peter. Most teenagers were focused on having as many friends as possible and talking to as many people as they could... But all he wanted was for his dad to talk to him.  
  
He decided to call Tony first. Steve was mostly likely still at busy with work. The brunette knew that Tony always had his phone on him so maybe he had a small chance that Tony would pick up and say _yes_ .  
  
Peter took a deep breath out as his shaky hand brought the phone to his ears. He looked towards Wade as the hazel eyed boy gave him a reassuring smile. Peter's heart was pulsing in his chest with each breath he took. He was internally praying for his father to pick up and for them to have a _normal_ conversation. That when Tony picked up the phone, his tone would be back to the way it was. Not angered hesitant, or pissed. It would return to it’s normal calm composure that would fade away all of the anxiety and worries that kept Peter from _actually_ communicating with his dad. Before, he had always felt comfortable talking to Tony, and now he was scared.  
  
He was terrified to talk to his own dad. what if he said the wrong thing? How could he possibly know the right words to say?  
  
**_Ring_ ** _  
_ _  
_ _The first ringer felt like it had lasted an eternity._ _  
_ _  
_ **_Ring_ ** _  
_ _  
_ _Peter wanted to just hang up. He couldn't do this._ _  
_ _  
_ **_Ring_ ** **_  
_ ** _  
_ _His hands were sweating. He was going to say the wrong thing and make Tony hate him even more than he already did._ _  
_ _  
_ **_Rin-_ ** _  
_ _  
_ _Maybe he should just hang up. Tony didn't want to talk to—_ _  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _"Hello?"_


	12. All Was Golden When The Day Met The Night

_"Hi Dad... it's umm... me, Peter."_

  
"I know." The voice on the other line said. It was quick and gruff, filled to the maximum with what Peter guessed, impatience with a hint of empathy. "Are you hurt?"  
  
"No-" Peter answered.  
  
All of the empathy that was inside of Tony's voice disappeared with the next few words that came from his mouth.. "Then why are you calling me?"  
  
"I just-"  
  
"You do know that Steve is picking you up from school, right?" He asked.  
  
"I know." Peter said. "But that isn't why I'm calling-"  
  
"I'm busy with my work." The voice said quickly.  
  
"Dad." The brunette began. "Wait please-"  
  
"Call me if it's an emergency."  
  
Two low beeps rang from Peter's phone, signaling that the call was over.  
  
_Tony hung up on him._ _  
_  
He slowly pulled his phone away from his ear and held it tightly in his hand, staring at the black screen.  It was stupid of him to think that this was a good idea. How could he expect his dad to talk to him after what had happened at dinner? Peter found a way to let him down, he made his own father see him as less in his eyes. It would be dumb of him to think that they could actually have a normal conversation again.  
  
With each breath that came from Peter's body, long claws were sinking into his heart and slowly ripping it apart. It spilled every darkened and depressed thought out, allowing them to run its course through its body. The happiness consuming cloud that had been looming over his head for weeks, gradually grew darker and darker with each passing thought.  
  
"Pete... are you okay?" A voice behind him asked.  
  
The brunette turned around with his head towards the floor. "I can't go... I'm sorry." He sighed.  
  
Wade took a couple steps closer, wrapping his arm around Peter's waist. They were alone in the hallways since most of student left already.  
  
"What did he say?" He asked.  
  
"He hung up on me." Whispered Peter, shaking his head. He couldn't believe the words coming from his mouth.  
  
_His dad... actually... hung up on him._ _  
_  
"What about Steve?" Wade asked.  
  
"I... I can't ask him." Peter said. "Tony would think that I'm going behind his back or something."  
  
"How are you going behind his back if he never gave you an answer?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Well..." Wilson smiled. " _Technically_ you didn't ask him. So therefore, you can't go behind his back."  
  
"Well..." Peter replied." _Technically_ , if I go without asking him, he'll find a way to hate me even more . So therefore, I did go behind his back."  
  
"Oh." Wade pouted sadly. "I guess I'll just... go home then. All alone... woe is me..."  
  
"Wade-"  
  
Wilson unraveled his hand around Peter's waist took slow steps away from him, turning his head every couple of seconds to show Peter his doe eyes as he let out a dramatic sigh.  
  
"I'll be at home." He said. "All alone on a Friday night when I could be snuggling with my highly adorable boyfriend."  
  
"I'll be all alone-"  
  
"Fine..." Peter interrupted him. The worst thing that could happen was that Steve would say no. There was no real harm done... "I'll ask, but no promises."  
  
He took a deep breath in as he dialed Steve's number on his phone.  
  
**_Ring_ ** _  
_ _  
_ _'Please...'_ _  
_ _  
_ **_Ring_ ** _  
_ _  
_ _'Please...'_ _  
_ _  
_ **_Ring_ ** _  
_ _  
_ _'Please pick up...'_ _  
_ _  
_ **_Ring-_ ** **_  
_ **  
"Hello, Peter?" The voice panted, out of breath. "Are you alright?"  
  
"Pa?" Peter asked. He was surprised that Steve actually picked up. His father was almost always away from his phone because his job was physically demanding.  
  
"I'm not late picking you up, am I?" He asked. "I'm putting my stuff away to leave now."  
  
"Umm... no." Peter blurted.  
  
"I wanted to ask you if I can… go out after school today."  
  
"Oh?" Steve asked, Peter could hear the smile forming on his face. "You finally made some more friends?"  
  
_'Ha ha very funny'_ _  
_  
"Of course not." Peter scoffed. "I'm perfectly happy with two."  
  
"Imaginary friends don't count."  
  
"I don't have imagi-" Peter began. But Wade was right behind him and he wanted to save himself from the embarrassment from Steve's teasing.  
  
"It's with Wade..." Peter said. "Can I please see a movie with him today?"  
  
"Peter..." Steve said. The carefree joking manner of his voice fell. "You already know my answer... I don't mind at all, as long as you're home by curfew."  
  
"But did you ask Tony?"  
  
"I-I tried to..." Peter said. "But he hung up on me before I had a chance to ask..."  
  
"He told me not to call him unless it's an emergency."  
  
Steve let out a deep sigh over the phone, "Alright... I'll talk to him when I get home... just promise me that you'll have fun, alright?"  
  
"Wait..." Peter questioned. "Seriously? I can... go?"  
  
"I don't see any reason why you can't... just be home by curfew, okay?"  
  
"Yeah... of course I-"  
  
"I love you, Peter, make sure you'll be safe. It's not planning to be too cold tonight, but don't forget to wear a jacket to keep you warm."  
  
"And if you need me to bring you anything... don't hesitate to call me, alright? I need you to be okay."  
  
"Okay, I'll be safe." Peter said. "And I love you too, I'll talk to you later."  
  
"See you at home, Pete."  
  
The phone hung up as a tiny smile rose to the corners of Peter's face. He slid his phone into the pocket of his sweatpants as a warm kiss made its way onto his face.  
  
"I told you..." Wilson murmured.  
  
"I guess you were right..." Peter said. "I just hope that Tony won't be too upset.”

  
"Steve said that he'll talk to him but I don't know..."  
  
"Why would he be?" Wade asked. "Steve said he's gonna tell him so it's not going to be your fault... you'll be fine, I promise."  
  
"Now..." Wade said, wrapping his arm around Peter's waist. "Let's go, shall we?"  
  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
Peter sat in the front seat of Wade's car as he watched the blur of the objects from the window. For the first time in weeks, he felt so relaxed. The silence between him and Wade wasn't tense or uncomfortable like it was with Tony, it was soothing. It didn't feel like the air was suffocating him, it made him feel like things were actually going right for once. Like his head was finally coming out of the depths of the ocean and he could breathe again.  
  
"Hey," Wade asked, nudging Peter's shoulder. "You okay?"  
  
The brunette lifted his head from its resting position on his hand as he turned towards him. Wade's hazel eyes were staring down at him curiously before bouncing back to the road.  
  
"I'm... fine." He admitted. "I feel great, actually."  
  
"You're sulking and you seem quiet..." Wilson murmured skeptically. "What's bothering you?"  
  
"I'm not sulking." Peter clarified.  
  
"Brooding?" Wilson asked.  
  
"No." Peter shook his head. "For once I'm in a really great mood."  
  
"I'm thinking about you."  
  
Wade's eyebrows rose as he glanced at Peter. "Really?" He questioned. "Why? I'm not that special."  
  
"You're an amazing person..." Peter said. "And I never really got the chance to thank you for everything that you have shown me within the past couple months that we've been together... it really means so much to me."  
  
Wade internally let out a deep sigh. If Peter knew about all the terrible things he has done in the past he probably would've broken up with him already. He felt like he was lying to Peter, but he didn't want to tell him. It hurt him on the inside whenever Peter would shower him with compliments about things that Wade knew that he would never be.  
  
"Well, you know I love you." Wade grinned. "You mean a lot more to me than you realize."  
  
"But..." Peter continued, his voice had a saddened tone that made his chest feel heavy with a realization. "I feel like I'm not doing enough for you. Aren't I just... weighing you down?"  
  
"You could have anyone in the school if you wanted to. I bet their parents would take one look at you and instantly love you. If you were with someone else you wouldn't have to deal with..."  
  
_'Me, my cancer, and all of my endless flaws.'_ _  
__  
_ "Everything that comes with _me_."  
  
"Peter, stop." Wade said. "None of that is true."  
  
"You love me, right?"  
  
"Of course I do." Peter said.  
  
Wilson gave a quick wink in Peter's direction. "Then that's enough." He smiled.  
  
"It's more than enough."  
  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
"What was your favorite childhood memory?" Peter asked.  
  
"I... don't really have one." Wade admitted. His childhood was mostly hospital visits, school, or his late-night distractions with anyone that willing enough to sleep with him.  
  
"Seriously?"  
  
"Yep." Wade shrugged. "My childhood was pretty-" But his indifferent attitude slowly disappeared. He didn't want to say that he had a ' _bad_ ' or ' _terrible_ ' childhood because he knew from what Peter told him, his was much worse.  
  
"Boring." He finally said, satisfied with his answer. "You would be more amused watching paint dry."  
  
Peter playfully rolled his eyes. Wade was always so secretive about his past. Peter knew that his life wasn't a parade of happiness, but if Wade wanted to know something, he wouldn't hesitate to tell him. He trusted him with everything he had. "Tell me anything." He asked. "Please?"  
  
"Alright alright..." Wade began. "Well... it was probably when I... got my appendix removed."  
  
Peter turned towards Wade with confusion evident in his features. "What?"  
  
"Haven't you ever gotten your appendix removed?"  
  
Peter pondered on the thought. He has had tumors, tissues, and one of his lungs removed, but never his appendix. "No, I haven't." He said.  
  
"I missed school for like... two weeks." Wade continued. "The only downside of it was that I had to stay in the hospital."  
  
"God." Wade shook his head. "I fucking hate those places."  
  
"Me too." Peter agreed. "I practically spent my whole life in one." It was endless cycles of his cancer getting worse, him staying at the hospital for "aggressive" treatment, and then being strong enough to finally go back home. It happened for years on end until he almost died when he was ten. After the procedure that saved his life, he was _‘stable’_. He hadn't been back to the hospital for the treatment sessions in years. The only time he went was for his checkups, but those weren't too bad.  
  
"One thing I really hate." Peter started.  "Is nurses that can't draw blood."  
  
"I remember when I needed an IV and he poked my arm five times because he couldn't find a vein."  
  
"Christ Pete, Speaking of bad nurses," Wade said, beginning his rant. "Once, I had this nurse that didn't handle my IV correctly. When she took it out of my arm, there was blood was gushing everywhere."  
  
"Did she even say sorry?"  
  
"Yeah, of course, like a thousand times." Wade laughed at the distant thought. "She was freaking out. My arm hurt like hell, but her reaction was priceless."  
  
Peter's train of thought continued to another memory. "What's your opinion on the type of nurse that has a condescending voice?"  
  
"Don't even get me started on those!" Wade said.    
  
"It's alright, Sweetie." Peter said. His voice had the tone as if he was speaking to a tiny child.  
  
"You'll only feel a tiny pinch, it won't hurt." Wade replied back, his tone mimicking Peter's.  
  
"It's not that bad, I promise."  
  
"I've been to the hospital too many times and I'm absolutely sick of them..." Wade said, changing the subject.  
  
"You?" Peter asked. Wade looked like he was the poster boy for the definition of perfect health. "How many times have you been?"  
  
"Enough."  
  
"I've lost count..." The brunette turned his head. "At my house... we have a box of all of our hospital parking passes. It's slightly hilarious but depressing all at the same time."  
  
"What did you go to the hospital for? Were you sick when you were younger?"  
  
"Well..." Wade trailed off. He wasn't the one that was ill.  
  
Peter backed off from the question when he saw Wade’s hesitancy. He didn't mean to push Wade into sharing something that he was uncomfortable with. He knew from experience that hospital trips were usually unpleasant for the patients and the visitors."It's totally okay if you don't want to tell me."  
  
"Nah." Wade shook his head. "It's not that." He hadn't really talked about this with anyone before, but he felt like he could trust Peter. Besides, he had been told parts of his childhood and deep secrets that he never told anyone. If Peter trusted him, he felt like he should at least do the same.  
  
"My mom mostly... " Admitted Wade. "She got really sick when I was eight... So I went to the hospital often."  
  
"Oh." Peter's voice became small. "I'm sorry."  
  
"No, it's okay." Wade smiled off the hurt from the old memories. "Don't be."  
  
"Is she doing better now?" The brunette asked.  
  
Wade internally laughed at the small optimism shining inside of Peter's doe eyes. "Yes and no." He continued. "She died when I was ten. But she's in a better place now as everyone says."  
  
"Oh my gosh. I'm so so sorry." Peter apologized. "I-I didn't mean to bring it up."  
  
"No." Wade shrugged his apologies off. "It's not your fault, don't worry about it."  
  
"How was she?" The brunette asked, his voice was quieter but laced with curiosity.  
  
"What?" Wade asked, turning his attention towards Peter.  
  
"What was she like?" He asked again, making his voice a little bit louder.  
  
Wilson put his eyes back on the road and stared straight ahead. "She was the best." He said. "She always told me that she was my biggest fan. Always inspiring me to be the best person that I could be, and if I wanted to accomplish something, only the sky was the limit."  
  
"Every time I felt like I was having a bad day, she would make the almond macaroons for me and remind me how one bad moment doesn't screw over the entire day."    
  
"When I'm alone, I miss her sometimes but I know that she hated it when I was sad. So, I usually try my best not to be, for her. All she ever wanted was for me to be happy."  
  
"And I am, with you."  
  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
Tony took another glance at the clock on his office desk.  
  
Peter still wasn't home yet.  
  
_He was thirty-seven minutes and forty-seven seconds late._ _  
__  
__Forty-eight_ _  
__  
__Forty-nine_ _  
__  
__Fifty_ _  
_  
He could feel all of the anxiety flowing through his bloodstream, paralyzing him with the horrific thoughts that ate away his mind. There was a heartbreaking pressure on his chest that left him hyperventilating, trying his best to catch his breath.  
  
_What if Peter was seriously injured?_ _  
__  
__What if he was in pain somewhere?_ _  
_  
Tony dismissed those thoughts, Peter told him that he wasn't hurt the last time they talked. Tony knew he told him to call him if there was an emergency.  
  
_'Unless something happened so quickly that Peter couldn't reach the phone in time.'_ _  
__  
__'What if Peter was... dead?'_ _  
__  
_ Adrenaline rushed through Tony's veins as he grabbed his phone and dialed Steve's number. He knew that Steve was the only one picking Peter up from school today, if something happened, Steve should know.  
  
He had to.  
  
**_Ring_** _  
__  
__"Steve..." Tony said to himself._ _  
__  
_**_Ring_** _  
__  
_**_Ring_** _  
__  
__"Please pick up..."_ _  
__  
_**_Ring_** _  
__  
_ He heard Steve's voicemail began to play. Desperation washed over Tony as he cursed under his breath and left a simple message.    
  
"Steve. It's me." His voice trembled. "It's an emergency."  
  
Tony started pacing around the room, trying his best to control his breathing. The whole room felt hot, and then it felt cold. His fears were making the room spin into an endless loop of doubts that were tormenting him from the inside out. He whispered reassuring words to himself that Peter was okay, He was absolutely fine, but how did he really know?  
  
He quickly dialed Peter's number.  
  
It didn't help his anxiety when his phone went to voicemail too.  
  
**_Buzz_** ** _  
_****_  
_****_Buzz_** ** _  
_****_  
_****_Buzz_** ** _  
_****_  
_****_Buzz_** ** _  
_**  
Tony had never reached for his phone as fast as he did in his entire life. He was praying to whoever was listening that Peter was calling him, telling him that he and Steve were stuck in some really and traffic and they're on their way home.  
  
Stark read the caller ID and smiled.  
  
_Steveie_ _  
_  
"Tony?" The voice on the other line said.  "I just got around to your voicemail. You said it was an emergency, are you okay?"  
  
"Me?" Tony questioned, his voice rising in fear. "No! I'm not okay! I don't know where the hell Peter is!"  
  
"Oh." Steve sighed in relief.  
  
"Oh? That's all you have to say?" The anxiety Stark had in his body manifested into his voice. Why did Steve seem so indifferent about the situation? Their son was missing and all he got as a simple ' _Oh_.' "He could be hurt! He could be in trouble!"  
  
"He's fine, Tony. Don't worry-" Steve tried to him.  
  
"Is he with you?"  
  
"No, but-"  
  
Tony's small body was overflowing with regret. He didn't know where Peter was or if he was hurt. He wasn't with him or Steve which meant that he could possibly be alone and scared. "Then where the hell is he? How do you know he's alright if he's not with you or me?"  
  
Steve sighed, preparing for an outburst or another argument. "I know he is alright because I allowed him to go out tonight with Wade, I trust him to keep Peter safe."  
  
_What surprised him the most was that there was no outburst or yelling on the other line._ _  
__  
__It was dead silence._ _  
_  
"Tony?" Steve asked.  
  
"T-Tony?  
  
"Are you there?"  
  
"Hello?"  
  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
The walk from Wade's car to the inside of the theatre was extremely difficult due to the piles of snow and pockets ice embedded on the sidewalk that Peter had almost slipped on.  
  
_Twice_  
  
Unfortunately, when they finally got inside, they had to walk up numerous flights of stairs before they reached the lobby of the theatre. Wade was basically running up, two at a time, like a young excited child bursting with energy. But Peter, on the other hand, took hesitant steps upwards up each step.  
  
He knew that he wouldn't be able to keep up with Wade's speed. If he tried to go at his pace, his lung would definitely have another seizure and he would probably collapse from the lack of oxygen.  
  
Eventually, Wade noticed how Peter was two staircases behind him and was struggling to walk up them alone. It looked like he was about to faint. His eyes were fluttering as his chest was taking slow deep breaths in and out. Wade could've sworn two seconds ago that Peter was right behind him...  
  
Wilson immediately went down towards Peter and wrapped his arm around his waist. His soft stubble tickled Peter's face as small kisses were laid onto his pale cheeks.  
  
They walked up the stairs together with Wade's tight hold on his boyfriend's body. They had to stop a couple times for Peter to catch his breath for a few seconds, but Wade didn't mind.  
  
Once they got upstairs, Peter's brown eyes soaked up his surrounding in awe. There were large movie posters everywhere and arcade games. Something Peter had only seen online... never in real life.  
  
He was turning his head rapidly, observing everything his eyes could absorb. He knew that it was just the lobby of a movie theatre, but there were so many things that he hadn't seen before.  
  
It was simple but amazing all at the same time.  
  
"You keep looking over your shoulder like someone is following you." Wade commented, interrupting Peter from his thoughts.  
  
"You alright?"  
  
Peter turned his attention towards Wade. "Yeah. I've just..." He began. How was he going to explain that he has never been to a movie theater before? That was kind of embarrassing, to say the least. Almost everyone had been here before.  
  
"I've never seen anything like this." He admitted shyly.  
  
Wade rose his eyebrows. "You mean... you've never been to a movie theatre before?" He asked.  
  
"No."  
  
"Like..." Wade continued. "Ever?"  
  
The brunette shook his head. "Never." He said. "At home, I have a home theater so I never really needed to come here."  
  
"Wow." Wade nodded, surprised. "I would've rather been there with you, than here."  
  
"Me too." Peter sighed. "But my dad would freak out if he saw you."  
  
"Like I said before." Wade shrugged. "Food always helps."  
  
"Not really-"  
  
"Speaking of which, are you hungry? Because I am absolutely starving."  
  
"Well..." Peter pondered on the thought. He didn't eat breakfast today. The protein bar that Steve gave him, he gave to Wade. And he didn't pack anything for lunch. "A little bit."  
  
Wade led them to the line as he gazed upwards at what they had to offer, mostly at the candy section.  
  
"Do you see anything you like?"  He asked.  
  
"It doesn't really matter to me," Peter replied. "Just choose anything you want, I need to go to the bathroom."  
  
"Okay, I'll wait here until you're — OH MY GOD! LIMITED EDITION TROPICAL FRUIT SKITTLES!"  
  
Peter took Wade's childlike behavior as his cue to leave. He knew that he could take a while in the restroom because it would take Wade forever to decide what he is going to eat.  
  
He made his way past the door and went straight for the sink, staring at himself in the mirror. He was happy the bathroom was mostly empty with the few exceptions of people still in the stalls.  
  
He splashed some of the cold water on his face and took a few shaky inhales. Ever since he attempted, and failed, to walk up the stairs he had been feeling slightly light-headed. He was holding in the wheezes that were burning and ripping his chest just so he could be less of an embarrassment to Wade.  
  
He sighed as he opened his eyes and stared at himself in the mirror.  
  
"Keep it together." He whispered angrily to himself.  
  
He was sick of his stupid illness dictating every aspect of his life. Why couldn't just for one day, he could feel normal? Instead of cancerous pain in his chest, why couldn't he have the pain of laughing too hard at one of Wade's corny jokes?  
  
Or even the pain on the bottom of his feet from walking around for too long? For most of his life, he had been sitting or lying down. It was rare that he actually went places and had the ability to walk around for long periods of time. His only exception this year was school.  
  
Why couldn't he feel like everyone else? Why won't the universe just give him that?  
  
"Please." He added with a small voice.  
  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
When Peter was finished in the restroom, the two walked together to the theatre where the movie was showing. Wade had his popcorn in his hand as he ~~_asked_ ~~ made Peter carry his boxes of gummy worms and limited edition skittles.  
  
Once they reached inside of the theatre, Peter noticed all of the seats were taken except for all of the ones in the back row.  
  
Wade led them towards the back seats as they sat next to each other. Peter glanced around skeptically, not a single person was in sight among them in their row.  
  
"Wade?" Peter asked.  
  
Wilson put a gummy worm inside of his mouth as he turned to wards Peter. "Something wrong?"  
  
"No..." He admitted, scanning the area to make sure he wasn't hallucinating from the lack of oxygen. "It's just... this whole row is empty where is everyone?"  
  
An all too familiar grin rose to the corners of Wilson's lips as he wrapped his arm around Peter, pulling him as close as possible.  
  
"I bought the whole back row for us."  
  
"What?" Peter asked. "W-What do you mean?"  
  
"Well..." Wade rambled sheepishly. "I-I didn't know what seat you wanted and I didn't want you sitting next to a random person you didn't know because you kinda seem like the asocial type but in a good way... and I wanted it to be us-"  
  
"Is this even legal?"  
  
Wade let out a light laugh,"There's no rule saying it's _not_ legal."  
  
Peter felt a warm smile rise to the side of his face. "Why would you do this for me?" He asked. The brunette didn't feel like he deserved everything Wade was giving to him. In all honesty, would've been happy with a simple walk in the park for a first date. Peter didn't feel like he was worth everything that Wade was doing for him anyway.  
  
"Because..." Wade whispered, kissing Peter's forehead. "I want you to be happy, I love it when you smile."  
  
"All I want is for this to be a perfect date."  
  
Peter sighed and stared at his clothes. "It's not the perfect date if I'm wearing sweatpants and converse."  
  
"Hush." Wade said. "It doesn't matter if you're wearing a cloth, a red and blue spandex suit, or sweatpants and converse. You’ll look amazing no matter what you wear."  
  
Peter scoffed at Wade's remark. "You're the one who would look perfect in everything you wear."  
  
"Including a..." Peter pondered on the thought. "A one-piece red and black leather suit."  
  
"I admit, the suit would look pretty badass." Wade nodded in approval. "But you're wrong. My sweet ass would not give the suit the justice it deserves."  
  
"Yes, it would."  
  
"Nope." Wade shook his head.  
  
"Yes." Peter said, throwing a single popcorn at Wade's nose.  
  
"Nope, I would no-" Wade tried to argue.  
  
"Yes you would." Peter interrupted Wilson with a soft kiss placed on his lips. "End of discussion."

  
“I win.”

  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
Steve unlocked the front door, opening it as quietly as possible. He left work early today because he had a fever and he was feeling completely exhausted. He was praying that he could rest for a couple of hours before he saw Tony again.    
  
He gently closed the front door and scanned the house. No sign of anyone anywhere.  
  
Until he checked the dining room.

  
He saw Tony standing in front of him. His brown eyes were piercing as they were staring directly into Steve's sleepy blue ones. Stark had his arms crossed over his chest as his lip was twitching in annoyance.    
  
"Tony..." Steve began. He didn't want to deal with this right now. His head was throbbing and he didn't think he would be able to handle another argument right now.  
  
"Why?" Tony asked, his voice was quick. Steve knew that whenever he did that, he was trying to keep it under control. He took a few steps closer towards Steve. "Why did you think _that_ was a good idea?"  
  
"Because it's a Friday night..." Steve explained. "Peter is a great kid Tony, you and I both know that."  
  
"He doesn't cause any trouble and all he wants to do is just go out with his friend for a couple hours."  
  
"How could I say no?" Rogers said. "It wouldn't be fair to him."  
  
"Does it matter what's fair?" Tony snapped. "What matters is that he's safe. And he is not safe with that Wilson kid."  
  
"Tony-"  
  
"And to make matters even better." Tony continued. "I didn't even know about this until I called you!"  
  
"I was here, worried sick that something was wrong with Peter when he didn't come home on time. I thought something happened to the both of you."  
  
Steve knew that he should've called Tony right away, but he didn't have enough time to at work. He had barely managed to answer the phone call to speak to Peter. "I'm sorry for not calling you on time." He apologized. "That's on me. I'm sorry for worrying you."  
  
"I'm fine, I promise. And Peter is too."  
  
Tony shook his head, trying to keep his voice under control. Why did Steve always say that _'Peter was fine?'_ How did he really know that their son was okay?  
  
"Did you actually call him?" Stark asked. "I got his voicemail every damn time."  
  
"No," Steve admitted. "There's no need to be in contact with him every second of every day."  
  
"If there's something wrong, he will call us. I'm sure of it."  
  
"How sure are you?" Tony's voice dropped from the annoyed anger to his usual overprotective sadness.  
  
"Peter is a teenager," Steve reassured him. "We can't keep babying him forever."  
  
"No, Steve," Tony argued. "I'm not babying him. I'm trying to do what's right."  
  
"Are you?"  
  
Tony was taken aback by Steve questioning his motives. Ever since Peter was young, everything he has ever done was to keep him safe, always. He cared way too much about him to see him hurt. "I'm trying to protect him!" Stark yelled. "What part of that do you not understand?"  
  
"Giving him the silent treatment and then trying to keep him at home isn't protection. It is internment Tony!"  
  
"You know Steve..." Tony lowered his voice. He spoke slowly, trying to keep his temper under control. "Sometimes, I feel like I'm the only one who is doing what's best for Peter sometimes."  
  
"I won't allow Peter to get too attached to this guy. Because once it ends badly, it leaves us to pick up the pieces of what's left of him."  
  
"I'm doing what has to be done, to save us from something worse."  
  
"That's our job, Tony. As parents were supposed to let our kids venture out and get hurt so they can come back learn from their mistakes."  
  
"They're supposed to know that we'll always be there for them. That there will be no judgment or shame in the choices that they have made because now they know not to make them again."  
  
"I'm trying to do my part," Steve said, lowering his voice. "I suggest you do yours."  
  
"Don't patronize me, Rogers." Tony spat. "I am trying my best."  
  
"Trying to be the best dictator or the best parent?" The blond asked, folding his arms over his chest too.  
  
"I am nothing like my father if that's what you're implying." Tony knew that he wasn't an abusive and neglectful alcoholic asshole.  
  
_He really wasn't._ _  
_  
He was only doing this because he loved Peter. Tony was confident that his father didn't care about him, he never did.  
  
"Yeah..." The blond scoffed in disbelief. "You keep telling yourself that."  
  
Steve turned around towards the front door. He needed a couple hours to cool down after what just happened. He shouldn't have mentioned Howard, but he knew that it made Tony pause and reflect.  
  
The blond thought that maybe he could go to the apartment of his friend, Bucky. Maybe he could crash there for a couple of hours until he was ready to come back home.  
  
"Where are you going?" A voice trembled behind him. It was quieter than normal.  
  
"Out." Steve murmured. He didn't bother turning around. The look on Tony's face would've made him stay, and he didn't want to.  
  
_Steve just needed to be with someone that would listen to him right now._ _  
_  
"Let me know when you're actually ready to talk." He said, walking towards the front door, opening it as silently as he closed it.  
  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
When the movie finished, Peter and Wade ventured off to the park a couple minutes away from the theatre. Peter was snuggled under Wade's arm. His pale hands were kept warm by the cup of hot chocolate in them. There was a small van selling some and said Wade said that they _'couldn't not get some.'_  
  
The cold breeze bit at the brunette's nose and his cheeks as he tried to bury his head inside of his boyfriend’s chest.  
  
It wasn't too cold outside to Wade, who was seriously rocking a simple black long sleeve. Peter still didn't understand how Wilson was fine in only one layer considering he was freezing in a sweater and a jacket.  
  
The only thing the brunette hoped for was his body to keep itself together in the colder weather. All he hoped was that it wouldn't freak out and leave him in a nonstop coughing and wheezing fit.  
  
The only sounds present was the light snow crunching under their shoes and the small chatter of the people around them.  
  
Peter had a little while before curfew and he didn't want to go home yet. He wanted to spend as much time with Wade as he could. It was because he felt like they may not be able to do this again, and he wanted to savor every last minute.  
  
"Are you feeling okay?" Wade asked. His fingers brushed some of Peter's brown hair out of his face. He hoped his baby boy wasn't too cold, he didn't want to force Peter to stay outside if he didn't want to. If he wanted to go back inside, Wade wouldn't have a problem doing so.  
  
"I'm okay." Peter whispered. He was trying his best not to shiver under Wade's hold. He wanted to feel normal for once and " _normal_ " people didn't have a life-threatening breathing problem when temperatures dropped. He wouldn't let his condition ruin a fun night, not again.  
  
_'Keep it together.'_

  
_'I'm normal. I'm alright.'_ _  
_  
Wade led them to one of the benches that had a clear gaze up at the sky. It had a dark purple and blue indigo hue that stretched on for miles. The dozens of tiny stars resembled bright polka dots that illuminated the entire sky with their endless beauty.  
  
But the full moon had its own story to tell. The allure in the sky blessed the atmosphere with its light, making the night seem as bright as day in its own unique way.  
  
"The sky is so beautiful...." Peter whispered. He had always been one to stare at the sky. When he was in the hospital, he would gaze off and admire the day emerging in the early mornings, or the night getting ready to cover the world in a relaxing darkness that would drift him off into a deep sleep.  
  
He used to dream of going somewhere else. He thought about what his life would be like if he wasn't sick or bedridden. His imagination was filled with all the places he would go and the things he would do with his parents and the people he loved.  
  
_~~He dreamt of what it would be like to feel like his life had purpose for a single day.~~ _ _  
_  
"If you could go anywhere in the world...." Peter began. "Where would you go?"  
  
"It depends." Wade answered casually.  
  
"Let's say..." The brunette said. "After high school."  
  
Wade pondered on the thought for a couple moments before he gave Peter an answer. "I think I would probably... go back to Spain."  
  
"You've been there before?" Peter asked, wide eyed.  
  
"Yep." Wade said. "My family and I went sometimes."  
  
"We had a bunch of places in other parts of the world that we wanted to go to, but my mom died before we could finish. After that, we just stopped."  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"What about you?" Wade asked, directing the attention towards Peter.  
  
"Australia or South America," Peter said. "The wildlife and plant life there is absolutely gorgeous. I mean... have you ever seen the pictures of the forests? Or taken the time to read about the diversity of the animals? I bet to see it first hand would be really-"  
  
When the brunette looked up at Wade, he stopped himself. "Sorry...I'm rambling."  
  
"Seems like I've rubbed off of you." Wade grinned.  
  
Peter slapped his chest playfully. "Shut up, I knew you would say that."  
  
"But anyway..." Wade said. "Back to Australia and South America..."  
  
"They have gigantic flying monkey spiders bigger than both of our hands!" He exclaimed. "Why on earth would you ever want to go there?"  
  
"It's interesting and beautiful at the same time." Peter shrugged.  
  
Wade scoffed, turning away. "I bet you won't say that when they're taking over the world."  
  
"Come on Wade." Peter said. "Spiders aren't even that bad."  
  
Wilson looked down at Peter in disbelief. "What planet are you from?" He asked. "How could you say that spiders aren't even that bad?"  
  
"Have you ever seen a spider? With their dozens of eyes and eight legs..." Wade murmured, shuddering in disgust.  
  
"They're so fucking fast when they scurry along the kitchen floors as you're trying to kill them with a shoe or something. My god... those tiny little bastards are so disgusting."  
  
"Spiders are the devil's spawn, I'm telling you Pete."  
  
"You're overreacting." Peter sighed. "Gigantic spiders aren't as bad as you think."  
  
"Fine then." Wade said. "One day, both of us will go to South America or Australia and then go to one of those exhibits where we can hold those nasty spiders and then we'll see who is overreacting."  
  
"Actually, I'd love to see your reaction when you get scared." Peter laughed, but the happiness fell from his voice with the next words that left his mouth. "But I can't."  
  
"Why?" Wade taunted. "Are you afraid of a little challenge?"  
  
"No you idiot, I could take you on any day."  
  
"It's just..." The brunette hesitated. "I've never been on a plane before."  
  
"Are you scared of them?" Wade asked. "Because it's not that bad. You can just sleep the entire time."  
  
"Umm no." Peter replied. "It wouldn't be a good idea for me to go on one..."  
  
"Why? Will something bad happen?"  
  
"Well... the air is thinner on a plane." Peter explained. "And it's hard enough for me to breathe now..."  
  
"So my doctors said that it would be a bad idea if I go on a plane. It's a possibility that complications could occur and I could... probably die or become severely under-oxygenated.”  
  
"I mean." Peter laughed dryly. "I don't even have a passport and I can't really leave New York."  
  
"Wait, why?" Wade questioned.

  
"It's because my doctor, Curt Connors, wants to keep me in close range for erm... research I guess."  
  
"You mean..." Wade pondered. "Like a lab rat?"  
  
"Very funny." Peter murmured, unamused. "Apparently it's a miracle that I've survived this long with.. y'know... cancer."  
  
"The five year survival rate for stage four is less than ten percent. I entered that stage six years ago."  
  
"So they're basically trying to figure out how I'm still alive and if they can use it to help other people too."  
  
"I find that extremely weird because... well... when I was younger the cancer almost went to my brain..." He whispered. "Sometimes... I wonder how I even made it this far."  
  
"Did it... did it actually spread to anywhere else in your body?" Wade's voice fell.  
  
Peter hesitated before he spoke."My liver." He said quietly.  
  
"Is it still there?"  
  
"Yeah." Peter said, his voice was low. "But it's not too bad... it's in much better shape than my lungs."  
  
"Does it hurt you?" Asked Wade.  
  
"Sometimes... but not often."  
  
Wade laid sweet kiss on Peter's forehead. "Well, it doesn't matter what you have."  
  
"I'll always love you." He whispered into the brunette's hair.  
  
Peter let his gaze travel upwards at Wade. He let his ice cold lips hover over Wade's warm ones. The only sounds Peter heard, were the other male's rhythmic heartbeat in his chest and his shaky breaths escaping his lips. The only two words that escaped Peter's lips interrupted the gentle silence from before, leaving both of them speechless as they held onto one another, praying that this night would last forever.  
  
"I know." Peter whispered.  
_  
_ _"I know."_ _  
_ _  
_ ╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
"I don't want to leave you." Peter murmured, pressing his lips to Wade's.  
  
They were pulled up on of the driveway of Peter's house. The two were inside of Wade's car because they arrived a bit early. They had some time to spare and Peter didn't want to go inside just yet.  
  
"I don't want you to leave me either," Wade said, pressing his lips all over the birthmarks that trailed down his face and neck.  
  
"But... I have to go." Peter checked the time, He had about two minutes left to get inside.  
  
"Just stay for a little while..." Wade begged, displaying a small pout. "Please for me..."  
  
Peter didn't want to leave Wade, but he knew he had to. He couldn't come home past curfew, after all, he couldn't give Tony another reason not to trust him.

  
"No, Wade." He sighed, pulling away. "If I'm late then I'm dead."  
  
"Well, technically you're not late...."  
  
"All your parents said was that you needed to be at home by curfew and _technically_ you're home so..." Wade trailed off, pulling Peter closer for more kisses on his neck.  
  
"Nice try." The brunette said, finally breaking free of Wade's grasp.  
  
"How about I walk you to your front door?" Wade offered. "And then I'll leave."  
  
"No way." Peter shook his head, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. "Tony would combust if he saw you."  
  
Wade gripped one of Peter's hands before he could leave the car. Gently, he laid a quick kiss on it. "Goodnight." He smiled. "See you Monday, I love you."  
  
"Goodnight Wilson, I love you more." Peter grinned back. "See you then."  
  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
The icy night's air brushed on the side of Peter's face as he got out of Wade's black car. His smile from the park still wore itself. Not in an exhausting way of course, but in a way that reminded Peter that he was loved by someone that he could actually call his.  
  
By that hazel eyed boy that laid the sweetest kisses on his face in the movie theater, caressing every inch of skin with his love and holding him so delicately, like the brunette was made out of glass.  
  
It swelled his body up with an indescribable amount of happiness that he never ever wanted to let go of or gradually see fade away like most loves do.  
  
The feeling that he had been craving for weeks had finally been delivered to his desperate body. Instead of rushed kisses in a janitor's closet or inside an empty classroom, he finally got everything. The one-touch, the one kiss, the one hold, the single embrace that made his soul illuminate with an infinite amount of light that he would hold inside of himself for weeks on end.  
  
He would think about it when he went to sleep and when he woke up in the morning. Allowing a large smile to grow on his face every time he thought about him, Wade.  
_  
_ _And how much he meant to him._ _  
_  
The brunette made his way through the darkened driveway, using the moon's light for navigation. But he noticed that as he came closer, the moonlight wasn't the only thing brightening his path.  
  
He saw golden streaks of light shine through the windows, lighting up the multi-colored rose bushes by the front door.  
  
Peter thought that it was most likely Tony getting some late night work done. The brunette guessed that because he wasn't home, Tony could finally sit at the table in peace.  
  
_Maybe his father liked it when he just wasn’t home._  
  
Peter went up the small steps slowly, preparing for the worst. It was uncomfortable with all of the silent stares that his father and him exchanged. Or sometimes, not exchanging any at all.  
  
If they were in the same room, Peter would just sit or stand quietly. Staring down at his hands or at something uninteresting on his phone.  
  
The pale hand reached for the door handle but stopped abruptly. His stomach sank as the smile fell off of his face when he let the severity of his situation engulf the essence of joy he once had.  
  
He was finally experiencing things that he thought that he would never live long enough to experience. He was understanding what it was like to feel like a normal kid. He was finally going to school, he found love, he had friends.  
  
Life was becoming more and more clear as everything started making sense.

 

His heart shattered, ripped to dozens of pieces when it dawned on him that he couldn't even tell this to Tony. The one person that had wanted this for him since he came back from the hospital all those years ago.  
  
He sighed and mustered up enough confidence to turn the doorknob. The warm air of his house replaced the icy feeling from before. He stepped inside scanning the surroundings. He thought that no one was home until he heard a chair creak and footsteps gradually get louder towards him.  
  
Peter's doe eyes made direct contact with Tony's. His father’s brown eyes brought Peter back to the time that seemed like forever ago. Tony’s over extensive worry that would frequently scan his son every once and awhile for any injuries or if there was anything wrong. In that split millisecond, the brunette felt safe. He felt his sense of longing has been removed.  
_  
_ _He felt he had finally come home._  
  
But of course, like most good things in his life, it was short lived. The once protective eyes, Peter wished he could say became expressionless, actually became _cold_ . They looked at him distantly, like they couldn't recognize the person standing in front of them.  
  
Tony was hesitant to speak and so was Peter. He didn't really know what to say, or what was about to happen. Now, he was scared of his father. All he hoped for, was that they wouldn't get into another one-sided argument.  
  
"Hi, Dad." Peter finally spoke, shifting his weight. Tony's body was blocking the way from him to the stairs which meant that Tony probably had a lot on his chest.  "I'm not late, am I?"

Stark crossed his arms over his chest, Staring down at Peter. "Where did you go?" He asked. His voice was very assertive, sharp, and lacked any hint of patience that his eyes were once so full of.  
  
"I went to the movies with Wade." Peter's voice shook. "I-I asked Pa."  
  
Stark crossed his arms cocking his jaw to the left. He turned his head to stare at the blank walls. He was blinking rapidly, trying his best not to let his true emotions show.  
  
‘ _What if_ _it_ _had happened again?’_ _  
_ _  
_ _‘What if Wade didn't bring Peter home?’_ _  
_ _  
_ Gradually he got a hold of himself. He turned towards Peter, narrowing his eyes down at him. "Did you tell me or ask me?" He asked, bitterly.  
  
"Pa told you, remember?"  The brunette said. What was his father so worked up about? Peter came home by curfew. He didn't have any bruises, cuts, or injuries. He wasn't drunk, and he wasn't on any drugs. Why couldn't his father just be happy with him for one second?  
  
Tony hesitated, using one of his hands to rub at his temples. Peter has been observing that action since he could remember, it's what Tony did when he was extremely stressed or upset.  
  
Peter wanted it to stop, he didn't want to continue stressing his father more than he already did, but they weren't talking to one another. His father wasn't letting him know what was going on in that mind of his that was constantly flooded with thousands of other things.  
  
Stark's brown eyes traveled back towards his son.  
  
_If Peter were only a couple inches closer, he would've been able to notice how Tony's eyes were starting to tear up, just a little bit._ _  
_  
"But did you ask me?" Stark asked. His voice came out as a dull whisper. This time, instead of irritation, it was flooded with an overpowering dejection.  
  
Peter internally prayed that they weren't going to get into another argument. Tonight had been so great. He actually smiled and felt like he actually mattered. He was loved in a way that he thought the would never experience. He had forgotten about the cancer slowing eating away at his lungs, the bullies at school, and the tension at home.  
  
Everything was just easier, it was bliss.

 

It was normal,

 

He was normal.

 

"Dad..." Peter shook, his voice trembled with fear. "I tried to... but you hung up on me."  
  
"Did you really think that I would allow you to go?" He asked.  
  
The dull whisper transformed into an impending, slow-growing yell. "You knew that I wouldn't approve of it!"  
  
"Then you deliberately went behind my back and asked Steve because you knew he would say yes!"  
  
"W-What?" Peter stuttered out. "No... I wasn't trying to go behind your back I-"  
  
Tony dropped his head in disbelief, interrupting his son. "Wilson is a terrible influence on you."  
  
He sighed as he took a deep breath. "I'm only doing this to protect you and keep you safe." He muttered to himself.  
  
"Phone." Tony spat, raising his head. "Now."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Give me your phone, Peter." He repeated. "You're grounded."  
  
"G-Grounded?" Peter questioned. "But I-I didn't do anything wrong!"  
  
"I came home on time, I don't do any drugs, I don't consume any alcohol, I don't go partying every night,  and my grades are fine..." Peter said, his voice broke with each word that left his mouth.  
  
"Why am I not allowed to have friends?"  
  
"Give me your phone," Tony repeated, his voice still had the sharp and impatient tone from before. "I won't ask a _third_ time."  
  
Peter hesitated for a couple seconds to see if his father would change his mind. He would realize that he was overreacting and there was no need for him to act this way.  
  
But he didn't.  
  
The brunette opened the small pocket of his backpack and pulled out his phone. Slow steps were taken by him as he held it out for his father to take.  
  
Tony took Peter's phone without looking at him. He placed it face down on the table as he began walking towards his mess of papers and his laptop.  
  
"I don't... I don't... understand what's going on, Dad." Peter said sadly.  
  
"I came home." He continued. "I'm here, I'm alive. Why isn't that enough?"  
  
"I only wanted to feel like I was actually living for once. "  
  
He watched in fear as his father's hands began to shake. His typical fair skin had been washed over with a stomach-churning paleness. He heard his dad let out an exasperated sigh, rubbing his hands on his temple, again.  
  
"What are you worried about?" Peter asked.  
  
"Dad... Are you actually listening to me?"  
  
"All I ever wanted was to feel like I was normal."  
  
The brunette sighed in exhaustion. It hurt to see his dad this way.

 _Tony was shaking as he was trying his best not to cry in front of his son._  
  
A self-loathing soared throughout Peter's bloodstream. It washed away any ounce of happiness he once had, leaving his body filled with nothing but an everlasting guilt.  
  
"I'm safe, I promise," Peter reassured his father.  
  
Tony didn't completely turn his whole body around. He only turned his head to halfway, leaving his son in his peripheral vision.  
  
Stark knew that he had to be strong for Peter, especially at this age in his son's life. How could he possibly expect his son to look up to him if he was constantly breaking down tears?  
  
He took a deep breath in, letting the warm air relax his muscles. He blinked rapidly to remove the tears that were fighting him to come out of his eyes.  
  
Stark quietly cleared his throat to keep it from breaking mid-sentence. He wasn't going to cry in front of Peter, he couldn't.  
  
_'Be strong.'_ _  
_ _  
_ _'Be strong.'_ _  
_  
"How do you really know?" He asked. His voice came out as a quiet whisper. He didn't think that he could make it any louder without losing it all together. "How are we completely sure that you're safe with Wade?"  
  
"You..." He tried, but he felt like the tears were trying to claw their way out of his throat. Tony turned his face back towards the wall to hide the waterworks threatening to come from his eyes. "Don't know what his intentions are..." He mustered out.  
  
"His intentions?" Peter asked.  
  
Tony shook his head. Why wasn't Peter getting this by now? "Why is he with you, Peter?"  
  
"How do you know that he isn't with someone else right now?" Asked Tony. "Or he's dating you for his own personal pleasure?"  
  
The brunette blinked back the tears coming from his eyes. He couldn't believe that Tony was still on about _this_. How his dad _still_ believes that he and Wade are only together because Wade is a pervert who only thinks about sex.  
  
"Wade and I... haven't been thinking about sex." Peter said. "We never even talked about it."  
  
"No, stop," Tony commanded. His voice became firm, once again. "Don't say Wade and I."  
  
"We-" Peter tried.  
  
"Don't say we either. There is no _'we'_ between you and Wade."  
  
The brunette sighed in frustration as he looked away from Tony's figure. " _Wade_ , hasn't been thinking about sex." He paused. "And neither have _I_ ."  
  
"How do you really know, Pete?"  
  
"Because..." Peter said. "Wade isn't that type of person."  
  
"You're just going to trust him?" Tony asked. "Really Peter? I thought you of all people were smarter than this."  
  
The brunette hesitated, trying to gain enough confidence to muster out the next words. "You don't trust him?" He questioned. "Or you don't trust me?"  
  
"Peter." Tony's voice fell impatient as he changed the subject. "How many times do I have to tell you this?"  
  
"Steve and I only want the best for you. I'm only trying to keep you safe and protect you."  
  
"Dad... I know. " Peter's voice broke. "I know how hard you try to protect and keep me safe from all of the bad things in the world, but you can't."  
  
"You can't protect me from everything."  
  
"And... I trust Wade, dad." Peter admitted. "I-I love him so so much... and I know that he loves me back."  
  
"I just... I don't understand why you think that he is using me..." Peter continued tearfully. "He knows that I'm sick... He knows that I'm dying but he doesn't care about that."  
  
"He doesn't care about the cancer... He cares about me."  
  
"I thought when I found someone like this... you would be happy?" The brunette confessed. Tears were rolling down his cheeks as they stained his shirt. His voice was shaking as his body trembled with the cries that left his body.  
  
_'Why can't my dad just believe in me?'_ _  
_ _  
_ If there was one thing Tony knew, it was that Wade Wilson did not love Peter. He just didn't know why Peter couldn't understand this simple idea by now. This was not going to end well and all Tony tried to do was keep his son from having his trust broken, again.  
  
"How much longer do you think you're going to last in this?" Asked Tony. He dropped his hand from his temple as he turned his full attention towards Peter.  
  
He watched his son's eyes stare at him in a tearful, saddening confusion.  
  
"How long can you keep this up?"  
  
Peter's eyes widened as his bottom lips started trembling even more. He took gradual steps away from his father as the words that came from his mouth were almost incoherent due the amount of tears he had stuck in his throat. "How much longer until you... think I'm going to die?" Peter asked, shaking with breath he took.  
  
"Wait, Peter no," Tony said, trying to get closer to his son. "I didn't mean-"  
  
"Is... it?" The brunette asked, taking larger steps away from his dad as he came closer. "H-How... much longer until I die, Dad?"  
  
"Because lately." He sniffled. " I've been wondering that same question too."  
  
"All I wanted was to feel like I actually mattered... as if my life had some purpose."  
  
"But I guess... there is no point since... you're right." He cried. The pain was too overwhelming in his chest. How could he possibly believe that he would be worthy enough to experience everything else that " _normal_ " people went through? There was no point, he was going to die sooner rather than later anyway. "I probably won't last much longer in this. It won't be too long until I finally do die."  
  
"Who would care anyway?"  
  
Tony tried to get closer to Peter, but his son was already making his way up their staircase. "Peter, wait... please I-" He tried.  
  
But the brunette was already halfway up the stairs, drowning out his father's calls with his tears and thoughts.  
  
_Why would it matter if he did die?_ _  
_ _  
_ _His life wasn’t important._ _  
_ _  
_ _He didn't know why he ever believed that someone like him could actually have a purpose on this earth._ _  
_ _  
_ _He never did._ _  
_ _  
_ ╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
Peter didn't remember how long he cried when he was in his room.  
  
His body was curled up pathetically on his bed. He didn't even have enough motivation or energy to cover himself with his blankets.  
  
The tears that ran from his face drenched his pillow, leaving dozens of dark pools on the fabric. His massive sobs that shook his entire body were absorbed by his sheets.  
  
_It wasn't long until his chest started hurting._ _  
_  
A feeling that was burning, aching, and ripping all at the same time.  
  
He bit his bottom lip as he brought his hand to his chest, squeezing some of the fabric of his shirt along with some of his skin.  
  
Even though he felt all alone, he was sure of one thing, and one thing only.  
  
_At least he would always have his cancer to keep him company._ _  
_ _  
_ _It would be the only thing in his life that he knew wouldn't leave him._ _  
_ _  
_ _He'll die with it._ _  
_ _  
_ _Just like his dad said._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Father's Day :)


	13. Tony, Interrupted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flashback thats mostly Tony centric.
> 
> This chapter deals with Peter's sexual assault by Skip Westcott.

If Tony knew then what he knew now, he would've said no.  
  
In fact, he would've called the police on Westcott right then and there.  
  
_But he didn't._ _  
_ _  
_ _He didn't know._ _  
_  
Tony remembered the moment perfectly. He was hiding inside of his office at Stark industries after escaping from a board meeting. He was on the phone with Steve as they were trying to find someone to watch Peter later that night. Steve had to get to work and Tony had an " _important_ " meeting that he had to go to. In all honesty, Tony was exhausted and frustrated, this whole ordeal had crept up on him and he didn't know that both he and his husband would be out of the house tonight.

  
Tony didn't have many friends, obviously. He only had Rhodey, an old one from childhood, and his assistant, Pepper. Rhodey was currently doing work out of the country and Pepper had to go to the same meeting that Tony had to go to.  
  
And Steve didn't have many people he could call his friends either. He only had an old childhood friend too, James Buchanan Barnes, Or Bucky for short.  
  
But Tony didn't trust him, not really.  
  
Suddenly, the voice that slid into Tony's ears was sudden, quiet, yet smooth all at the same time.  
  
_"Mr.Stark?"_ _  
_  
Tony turned his attention from his phone to the figure and immediately recognized the face.  
  
Steven Westcott. The assistant of Obadiah Stane.  
  
_"If you would like me to..." He offered. "I could watch your son."_

  
Tony didn't know much about Steven. All he knew was that he organized papers, got coffee, and took some of the phone calls. Tony declined, focusing back on the window displaying the cloudy sky from the outside. He told Westcott that he didn't need to worry about it, he had everything under control.  
  
The reason why Tony said no was simple. He didn't know Westcott that well, and he had no idea if he had any experience with caring for regular kids. And Peter wasn't " _regular_ " at all, not that it was a bad thing.

 

Peter wasn't exposed to most things that kids his age went through. He was shy and reserved all of the time when he met new people. Tony didn't want Peter to get uncomfortable or scared when he and Steve were gone and have only Westcott in the house with him.  
  
But Westcott persisted, Reminding Tony that it was no trouble, he wouldn't mind it at all. He said that during his childhood, he watched over his younger siblings, so he had some experience.

  
He even said, _"I love to be around children."_ _  
_  
That quote should have been the red flag that alerted Tony that something was unsettling about Westcott. It should've of been the sign that he was making a big mistake.

 

It wasn't.

 

If Tony was facing that bleach blond haired bastard, he would've seen that a massive, perverted smile was slowing growing on his face.  
  
Of Course, He wasn't looking at him.  
  
He was facing the opposite direction, lost in his countless thoughts on if he could find anyone _else_ to watch Peter just for a couple of hours. The only people he knew were available were Bucky and Westcott. It nearly impossible to choose because he didn't know Westcott very well, but he absolutely didn't trust Bucky.  
  
He knew that he should've chosen Barnes over Westcott.  
  
He didn't.

  
Even to this day, he still regrets his choice of saying ‘ _yes_ ’  
  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
When Tony brought Westcott inside of their home, They saw Steve sitting in his work clothes at the dining room table. When Steve saw Westcott for the first time, he tensed.  
  
Steve had a thing for speaking up when he felt like something was wrong.  
  
_Tony always wondered why Steve didn't say anything this time._ _  
_ _  
_ Maybe it was because he trusted Tony to make the right choice, and Tony trusted Westcott to _be_ the right choice.  
  
_They all knew how that played out._ _  
_  
Steve followed Skip and Tony up the stairs and through the hallway towards Peter's room. Silence was exchanged between the three of them, but the voices in their head were anything but quiet.  
  
They approached the door of Peter's room as they slowly opened it. Inside, he was revealed to be cocooned under his dark blue blankets, sleeping peacefully. Sometimes, Peter took short naps during the day. His cancer wasn't too bad anymore, it was stable. Today was just one of those days where he must have felt like he needed some extra rest.  
  
Tony could feel his heartbeat increase with each step he took towards his son's bed. He absolutely hated waking Peter up because he knew how crucial it was for him to sleep. Tony simply couldn't leave without saying his goodbye. The last thing he would want is for Peter to wake up alone with a total stranger, not knowing where his parents were.  
  
He bent down to Peter's bedside. Gently, he brushed some of his brown hair from the front of his face to behind his ear, hiding some the nasal cannula that went from his head to the oxygen tank that he rolled around with him.

 

His long hair stopped at his collar bone. When he was discharged from the hospital at age ten, he wore his beanie most of the time to keep his head warm. Once he was finally able to get nutrients from real food and not an IV, his hair grew back _much_ faster than expected.

 

When it was time for a haircut, Peter begged Tony and Steve not to cut his hair. He said that it reminded him of getting ready for another chemotherapy session when they used to shave off the little hair that he had grown back. Tony and Steve didn't mind, there was nothing wrong with long hair. Soon after, the lengthy thick waves grew out as they were usually set loose, engulfing his tiny face.  
  
Some days when they all went outside, Tony and Steve would take turns braiding Peter's hair, decorating it with the colorful flowers that grew in the grass.  
  
Tony knew that he was way better at braiding hair than Steve.  
  
He rested his hand on the small shoulder and whispered Peter's name until the hazy brown eyes fluttered open and an all too familiar half smile rose to the corner of the pale face.  
  
"Hey, Dad..." The fragile voice whispered. "Are you okay?"  
  
"I'm fine, Kiddo." He said. "How are you feeling?"  
  
"I feel... fine." He answered, adjusting his lying position. He was sitting up halfway.  "What's going on?"  
  
"Your father and I have to leave for a little bit," Tony explained. He would never forget the way Peter's eyes dropped when those words left his mouth. Tony knew that one of Peter's biggest fears was being alone.

 When Peter was really sick in the hospital, he often expressed his fears that once Steve and Tony left his room, they wouldn't come back.  "There's something we need to do."  
  
"Is something wrong?" Peter asked.  
  
"Everything is alright," Tony said, giving his son a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, I brought a friend to keep you company."  
  
Stark watched his son's eyes bounce from Westcott and then back to him.  
  
"You're- You're ... coming back, right?" He questioned, his voice small.  
  
Tony reached over and engulfed Peter's small body into a gigantic hug. "Always." He whispered. "I promise."  
  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
While Tony was at the meeting, his eyes kept traveling from the watch on his wrist, to the papers in front of him. He was internally counting down the seconds until the meeting was over. His only thought was concerning Peter, wondering if he was doing okay. If something went wrong, Tony was sure Westcott was competent enough to dial him if there was an emergency, right?  
  
As soon as Tony finished, he left as soon as possible. It felt wrong with him and Steve out as Peter was left with someone he didn't know very well keeping him company. The last thing he wanted was for Peter to feel uncomfortable in his own home, Tony knew how nervous he could get when he was around new people.  
  
When he reached home, he rushed through the front door, scanning his surroundings completely. Nothing seemed out of place, thank god. Tony assumed that nothing went wrong and Peter was okay. He was about to go upstairs until he heard the TV and laughing in the living room.  
  
When he came into the other room, he saw Westcott and Peter sitting about an arm's length away from each other on the couch. On the TV, there was a science video playing about the earth’s atmosphere. Tony saw how Peter was smiling and talking to someone besides him and Steve for once.  
  
It was as if Peter was actually being a kid again.  
  
Once Westcott left and Tony said his thanks, He asked Peter about his time with Westcott.  Peter explained to his father that the other male was extremely nice to him. He talked about how they went outside for a few hours staring up at the clouds and afterward, they went back inside and watched dozens of videos about nature. Peter even said that it was nice having a friend that he could talk to.  
  
And if Peter was happy then Tony was happy, always.  
  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
After that, Peter asked when Westcott would be coming back over. His son continued on about how it was nice to finally have a friend again.  
  
Tony had never seen Peter this happy to be with someone else besides him and Steve since he met Norman Osborn's son, Harry Osborn.  
  
They were best friends, the first one Peter ever made. It was during the group chemotherapy sessions at the hospital. Peter was in for aggressive treatment due to the tumors in his lungs, and Harry was there for a simple treatment. After they met in the tiny support group that Tony and Steve forced Peter to go to, their relationship only became stronger from there.  
  
Soon after when Peter got a little better, he and Harry spent more time together outside of the hospital. Harry would sometimes come over as he and Peter would stay cooped up inside of his room or outside, enjoying the sunlight.  
  
Eventually, Harry got really sick as his cancer moved up to the fourth stage. He got worse as the cancer went from his bone marrow to his spine, paralyzing him. Tony and Steve took Peter to the hospital so he could spend as much time left with Harry as possible.

 

Tony even remembered when Peter fell asleep sitting in a chair next to Harry's hospital bed. His head was laid on the blankets while their hands were intertwined with one another's.  
  
When Peter found out that Harry passed, Tony noticed how he didn't cry at first. His face was barren, he didn't say anything. Whenever he was asked about how he was feeling, all Peter murmured out was a simple, _"I'm okay."_ When they went home, Peter stayed inside of him room for the rest of the day, not saying a single word.

 

It wasn't until the middle of the night when Tony and Steve came inside of his room, checking up on him. They saw him clutching one of his pillows towards his face as tears were streaming down his eyes. His chest was itching uncontrollably as his muffled sobs filled the entire house with his sadness, giving his parents the urge to cry with him too.  
  
All they did was hold him loosely while he cried. They stroked his hair, letting him know that Harry was no longer in pain, he wasn't suffering anymore, and that he was alright now. Tony didn't know if anything he said was true. He got all of that from the grief counseling at the hospital. It was during the time when Peter's body started responding negatively to the treatment, he was no longer strong enough for it. He was slowly reaching his final days as all Steve and Tony could do was watch and hope that one day, he would eventually get better.  
  
Tony thought that maybe Peter asked about Westcott coming back so he could fill the hole that Harry left in his chest when he passed.  
  
Even at work, Westcott came up to Tony with gifts to give to Peter.  
  
Tony should've fucking seen it by now. He was " _grooming_ " his son right in front of him.  
  
{ **Grooming:** Grooming is when someone builds an emotional connection with a child to gain their trust for the purposes of sexual abuse.}  
  
But he didn't notice it.

  
On a daily basis, Westcott reminded him that if he ever needed someone to watch over Peter, he would always be right here.  
  
_"I love keeping Peter company."_ He said. _"It's my pleasure."_ _  
_  
Tony should've said no. He should've gotten the perverted, creepy vibe from the way Peter's name slid off of Skip’s tongue when he came home sometimes and Peter would be sitting _way_ too close to Westcott on the couch instead of an arm's length away, or the way he _constantly_ talked about his son.  
  
_But he didn't, why would he?_ _  
_ _  
_ _He was blind to what his true intentions were._ _  
_ _  
_ And Peter enjoyed his company. He said that Westcott was like a real friend to him.  
  
So, whenever work got really busy for Tony and Steve, Tony would invite him over and he would watch Peter until they came back home. Then, Westcott suggested that Steve and Tony should take a break from their busy lives and spend some quality time together.  
  
_Tony should've seen the game the sick bastard was getting at._ _  
_ _  
_ _He didn't._ _  
_  
Eventually, it became a weekly routine for Steve and Tony to go out and spend the night together. They haven't been able to do that since the early days of their marriage. After they had Peter, finding time for themselves became extremely difficult.  
  
Usually, by the time they came home, Peter was either on the couch with his new " _friend_ " or he would already be asleep upstairs.    
  
Peter was happy.  
  
And that was more than enough for Tony.  
  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
That should've been the first sign.  
  
_Tony should've fucking seen it right then and there._ _  
_ _  
_ _But he didn't._ _  
_  
It was when he touched Peter's shoulder and he flinched.  
  
Peter _flinched_ away from _his_ touch.  
  
Tony didn't think much of it at the time. He thought that maybe he had just scared Peter.  
  
That must've been the reason why.  
  
____________________________________________  
  
_"Are you okay?" Tony asked._ _  
_ _  
_ _"F-Fine..." Peter stammered out, holding his shoulder defensively. "I'm fine."_ _  
_ _  
_ _____________________________________________

  
Then, Peter started eating less and less every day. He was cooped up inside of his room most of the day. Reading, finishing up some of his school work or simply sleeping.  
  
Most of the time, he was sleeping.  
  
To this day, Tony is still hating himself for not thinking enough of it. Peter never slept _that_ much. He went from the normal eight hours to a full fourteen hours. It made him worry, but not as much as it should've.  
  
In the mornings, Peter would usually find his own way downstairs to greet his parents. They would all eat breakfast together when Peter was feeling up to it. Then, one would leave for work as the other one stayed home. During the day, they focused on schoolwork, spending quality time, or playing outside.

 

But now, Peter didn't get out of bed or find his way downstairs. He would be tucked under his blankets, staring at the blank walls, or sleeping. When Tony asked what was going on, Peter simply said that he was fine and that nothing was wrong. On the rare days when Peter would leave his bedroom, his body would be covered from head to toe with dark, long sleeved clothing. They were oversized clothes that hid Peter's thin physique.  
  
Instead of taking the time to talk to his son and get an insight on what's going on, Tony did the complete opposite.  
  
All he did was increase the dosage of Peter's medication.  
  
He didn't realize how much of a mistake he was making.  
  
The final straw that should've made Tony realize what was going on or that _something_ was wrong, was whenever he mentioned Skip, Peter didn't get excited anymore. If anything, his mood worsened.  All Tony got were Peter's doe eyes staring up at him before they fell to the ground with a weak, " _Okay_." And when Skip came over, Peter would hug his parents as if this were the last time he would ever see them.

 

Tony thought that maybe he should stay home because Peter missed him too much.

 

That thought got dismissed from his head when Peter stopped hugging him and Steve altogether. He tensed up and pulled away rather quickly whenever they held onto him.  
  
It was so obvious.  
  
Peter was showing them all of the signs that he was hurting.  
  
But Tony and Steve were only looking, not observing like they were supposed to.  
  
╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
  
Tony didn't know how grateful he was for his forgetfulness.  
  
He forgot his phone, of all things, when he and Steve left for work this morning.  
  
How the hell did a CEO manage to leave their phone at home?  
  
When Tony came back home, it was the early afternoon. He walked inside scanning his surroundings for Peter and Westcott. In the dining room was some of Peter's school work, but no one was seen. As he made his way to the living room, the TV was off as there was only one ruffled blanket on the couch instead of two.  
  
_Strange_ .  
  
As he took a closer look at the living room, he narrowed his eyes in confusion as he stared at the objects on the table.  
  
A pornography magazine.

  
And the jacket that Tony could've sworn Peter was wearing earlier today.  
  
Tony held both of the objects inside of his hands at his eyes kept bouncing from them. He couldn't register what the hell was going on at this moment. None of this is making any fucking sense. Peter never took his jacket off, ever. And a pornographic magazine? Tony had gotten rid of his stash _way_ before Peter came along and Steve was too innocent for a magazine of this nature.  
  
That's when it clicked.  
  
It belonged to one person, and one person onl-  
  
His thoughts were interrupted when he heard it.  
  
The gut wrenching screams from upstairs.  
  
_“No!”_ _  
  
_

_“Please don't! Please!”_

_  
_ The wails bounced off of the walls of the house, filling up every single room with a deep agony that Tony _felt_ seep into his body.  
  
They belonged to Peter.  
  
Tony threw the magazine on the floor as he bolted up the stairs towards the sound of his son's voice. There was a paralyzing feeling in his gut that something was extremely wrong.

When he threw open the door of Peter's room, he didn't feel himself breathing anymore. His heart that was so frantic with its painful thumps to his head as he ran up the stairs, fell silent. The only thing that went through his body, was a rage that came from the depths of hell which almost instantly engulfed him.  
  
The image would haunt him into the afterlife as if he would ever be able to forgive himself for what he did. The person he brought into his house, was the root of all the behavioral changes from Peter. He was the reason why his own son was scared to talk to him or even give him a simple hug when he left. That sadistic freak was hurting his son for months in their own home without him even noticing.  
  
His eyes soaked up the image of Westcott, naked.  
  
And Peter, half naked. His long sleeve shirt was tossed lazily across his bedroom floor.  
  
Westcott's hands were frantically trying to pull down Peter's pants. But Peter was fighting back, trying desperately to keep them on.  
  
It wouldn't take a fucking genius to figure out where this was going.  
  
All of the rage Tony had manifested outwards, causing his body to lunge forward towards Skip, throwing his pathetic body off of his son. He had to hold back every fiber he had not to beat him with his bare fists.  
  
  
He ran over to Peter as he curled up into a defensive ball. His knees were to his forehead as he was trembling with the sobs that left his body. Tony made the biggest mistake of trying to hold Peter to let him know that he was here, but he flinched away from his father's hold as he begged him not to look at him or touch him.  
_____________________________  
  
_"P-Please..." Peter cried. "D-Don't... Don't touch me...please..."_ _  
_  
_____________________________  
  
Tony immediately ripped his hands away from Peter's body as he grabbed his jacket and wrapped him inside of it, hiding his exposed skin as best as he could.  
  
_'All of this is my fault.'_ _  
_ _  
_ _'Everything is my fault.'_ _  
_ _  
_ ╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳  
  
Tony's clammy hands were twitching as his eyes were dead set on the hallway in front of him. The one that the doctors brought Peter's body through so they could perform an examination. Stark wanted one done so they could check for any damage done to his son. He even remembered that because Peter was gripping his arm so tightly when the doctors tried to take him away, Tony allowed them to sedate Peter just so he would let go.

  
The nurse on Peter's case told him that there were some bruises on his body. They were on his neck, his arms, his thighs, and his groin area, but nothing permanent.  
  
Unfortunately, they weren't able to tell if sexual intercourse was performed.  
  
When Tony went into Peter's hospital room and asked him himself if Skip did _that_ to him.  
  
_His son didn't speak._ _  
_ _  
_ _All he did was cry._ _  
_  
When Peter returned home after him being hospitalized, it was as if Westcott was _still_ finding a way to torment him. Steve and Tony watched as they were gradually losing their son each and every day.

  
He didn't eat like he used to. The only time he put a few bites inside of his mouth was when his parents begged him to. The dinner table was silent as Tony and Steve exchanged worried glances towards Peter every couple of seconds. They did that hoping that they could get some reassurance that he actually was eating something. They even tried cooking his favorite meals, hoping that his hunger would come back, but it never really did.  
  
Then, Peter stopped sleeping. Months ago, they were concerned about him sleeping too much. But now, whenever they went inside of Peter's room to check up on him, he was always awake staring at the ceiling or the blank walls. He would spend the entire day in bed under his covers, just crying into his pillow.  
  
Tony guessed that it was because of the nightmares. He and Steve would rush into Peter's room as he was fidgeting, screaming, and crying in his sleep. Every time they put their hands on him and he woke up, he would flinch away from their touch. He would bury his head into his pillow as illegible words would escape his lips. His parents couldn't touch him to comfort him, so all they did was whisper reassuring words. Trying their best to convince him that Skip wasn't here anymore and that no one like him would touch him ever again.  
  
And when Tony begged Peter to talk to him, he wouldn't. There were some good days where Peter even smiled the tiniest bit when Steve told one of his corny jokes, and some bad ones when he wouldn't utter a single word for days on end. Even when his parents tried to convince him that he was safe, reminding him that whatever happened wouldn't change the way he was seen by them because they would always love him unconditionally, Peter still didn't say anything.  
  
Even to this day, Tony and Steve still don't know what Westcott did to Peter.  
  
They had no idea on how to help him, so they took him to his doctor and asked her what they could do to get Peter back to his old self again. She reminded them that what he went through was very traumatic and that Peter may never recover from this. They just needed to be patient and wait for him to be ready to open up. Then, she prescribed some medicine to help Peter in the meanwhile deal with the trauma.  
  
He took nine prescription pills every day, four times a day.  
  
And then three times a week, he went to group therapy. His doctor said that it was a good idea for him to talk to other people who went through the same things he did.  
  
To help him "Cope"  
  
_~~Peter hated that word.~~   _ _  
_

One of the worst parts of all of this was when they testified against Westcott.  
  
Tony was expecting that bastard to be put behind bars for the rest of his life, or at least, the majority of it.  
  
But he wasn't.  
  
Apparently, Westcott pleaded guilty with pedophilia. It was considered to be a form of paraphilia, which is the sexual interests of objects, situations, or individuals that are atypical. Because this specific condition causes harm to others, it's considered a disorder.  
  
Therefore by law, he was seen as mentally ill.  
  
He didn't go to prison.  
  
He wasn't punished either. All he had was long-term individual psychotherapy and medication that altered his sex drive and reduced his testosterone levels.  
  
The only thing Tony and Steve knew they could was file a restraining order against Westcott, just in case he tried to do anything else towards Peter.  
  
It was a pain to renew it every year, but it was worth it knowing that Peter actually felt safe.  
  
Until the judge eventually denied their request when Peter turned fourteen.  
  
After two years, The judge said that Westcott's mental health was improving as his monitored treatment was helping him refrain from his pedophilic activity. Slowly but surely, he was being reintegrated into society.  
  
People like Westcott were still out there, waiting for their next target. Tony didn't want to see Peter experience all of that trauma ever again. He deserved so much better. He knew it was his job to keep his son safe, and he wouldn't fail this time.  If only he had paid more attention, he would've been able to stop his pain sooner.  
  
If he could've been a better father, his son wouldn't be suffering this much because of him.  
  
He would never forgive himself if he let Peter get his trust broken by someone he called a lover or a friend. Tony knew he was hurting his son now by taking his phone away and grounding him, but it had to be done.

 

It was killing Tony inside to see Peter like this. He only wanted to apologize for hurting him, not for trying to keep him safe.  
  
The more Peter got attracted to Wade, the worse it will be when his heart gets broken by him.  
  
Tony couldn't bear seeing that emotionless and tormented side of his son.

  
Peter wouldn't be able to go through something like that again, and neither would he.


	14. When Day Becomes Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to our regularly scheduled suffering...

Steve couldn't remember the last time he saw his son give a genuine smile.

Now that he thought more about it, the last time he actually smiled like that was when he got a text message from Wade at the dinner table. But that was a couple of weeks ago.

Since the big argument between Peter and Tony, he could tell that his son was hurting from the words that Tony yelled at him. The blond could tell that his husband's sudden coldness towards Peter made him upset. But when Steve took a good look at his son afterwards, it seemed like he was trying to push through the pain and continue on.

Even though somedays, When Steve thought that Peter was close to giving up, he never did. And the blond was proud of that because he knows of how strong Peter is. He didn't raise him to quit so  easily when things in life get harder.

Steve taught him that he should stand for what he believes in, even if others thought it was wrong. And to this day, Peter was doing a fine job of that. Even though Tony thought his choice was wrong, Peter still stood his ground for what he wanted. His was trying to move past this and gradually get better, one day at a time.

But since the day he allowed Peter to go to the movies, he noticed that Peter had been acting... different.

It started the morning he came home from Bucky's house. He had accidentally spent the night over because he felt so feverish and tired that he thought that driving home would be a terrible idea. Luckily, Bucky made him some warm soup, allowed him to take a shower, and give him some clothes to wear afterwards.

Bucky even allowed Steve to take his bed while he took the couch. When the blond awoke, his friend asked him if he wanted to stay so they could eat breakfast together, but Steve politely declined. He had already taken too much from his friend on a short notice, and he needed to go home so he could patch up last night's argument with Tony.

When he came home, he freshened up a little bit before he went to the kitchen and started making something for Tony, Peter, and him to eat. He felt that over breakfast, he was going to try to all fix up the broken relationships between the three of them.

With a little bit of pushing, Tony and Peter could go back to the way they were before. He hoped that Tony would understand how he is overreacting and because of it, he was hurting their son. He could learn that what happened before with Westcott wouldn't happen again with Wade. Steve had only met Peter's boyfriend once when he came over, but he seemed like a great kid.

He didn't know how well convincing Tony to see things from his point of view would work, but he had to try.

In the middle of cooking, the blond saw his husband come from the upstairs. He wore a hoodie, a pair of sweatpants, and some dark sunglasses. Steve told him that he was making breakfast this morning and it was a perfect time for him and Peter talked about their relationship. But as soon as he mentioned Peter's name, Tony quickly said that he wasn't hungry. Steve tried to convince Tony to stay, but that didn't work out very well in his favor.

_______________________________

_"Tony? Where are you going?"_

_"Just for a drive." Tony murmured bitterly, slipping on his shoes._

_"Please be honest with me, love. Come on, what's really going on?"_

_Stark whipped around, narrowing his eyes from the inside of his sunglasses. "You want me to be honest with you? Fine." He snapped. " I'm going to go buy alcohol."_

_"And then I'm probably going to pass out inside of my car."_

_"Was that honest enough?"_

_________________________________

After Tony made his exit, Steve decided that he was going to check up on Peter. Tony seemed more agitated than usual, so something even worse must of happened while he wasn't home. Once he reached upstairs, he heard the water running and realized that Peter must've been in the shower. He didn't want to bother him, so Steve decided to wait until Peter was done.

That was a little over an hour ago.

Eventually, after Peter's breakfast got ice cold, Steve made his way upstairs to check on Peter. Once he went inside of his room, he expected Peter to be on his phone, reading comics about his all time favorite superhero, Wonder Woman. Or, skimming through his textbooks, getting as much homework as possible.

But not this time.

Peter was lying lazily on his bed without any of the sheets covering him. When Steve came in, he was facing his back side. The brunette didn't tear his eyes away from the empty space in front of him.

When he made his way around to face his son. He noticed that his hair hadn't even been dried. It made a dark puddle, drenching his pillow. His usual bright brown eyes were dull and bloodshot, staring blankly at the walls of his room.

It took Steve saying his son's name a couple of times before his eyes made his way towards the worried blond. Rogers kneeled towards his son's bedside, trying to figure out what was going on. He noticed that Peter was more distant than before. His eyes stared weakly at his father, almost vacantly. And when he spoke, his voice came out slightly hoarse.

__________________________________

_"Peter..." Steve began, his voice came out shakier than he thought it would. "Are you feeling okay?"_

_"Fine." The brunette murmured._

_"Did something happen with Tony last night? did he say something?"_

_"No. Nothing."_

_"I made some breakfast..." Steve said. "Would you like some?"_

_"Thanks. Not hungry."_

_The blond shifted his attention to the puddle of hair that remained on Peter's pillow, soaking it with water. "Why didn't you dry your hair?" Steve asked. "Sleeping with wet hair can cause pneumonia, Pete."_

_The brunette's eyes looked away from Steve, turning towards the wall before slowly fluttering shut. "It's okay." He whispered. "I know."_

____________________________________

When Steve went back downstairs, he ate breakfast alone. He was hoping that today would be the day where they all started acting like a family again. No more silences, Peter would feel happy again, and the arguments between him and Tony would be nonexistent. The way everything was before.

It was later in the afternoon when Tony finally came back home. When Steve noticed him walk through the door, he wasn't drunk, but he wasn't completely sober either. As the blond took a good look at him, all of his angry features were gone. Even through the sunglasses, it was evident that Tony had been crying.

Steve rushed over to him and practically let him collapse in his arms. Once Tony was on his chest, he wouldn't stop crying. The blond hadn't seen him cry like this in a long while. Bumbled illegible sobs came from Stark's lips before it started making sense. He explained to Steve on how he grounded Peter and took his phone when he came home. He only did that because he wanted to keep Peter from having anymore contact with Wade, someone he believed that could hurt Peter.

Then, Tony continued on how a small argument broke out. He started crying harder when he explained that he said the wrong thing to Peter. Now, he's worried that Peter will grow to hate him just like his own family did and afterwards Steve will leave him too and then he will be all alone. He was trembling on the floor as he kept murmuring to himself,

_'I killed Peter.'_

_'I was the one who killed my own son.'_

_'He hates me.'_

The blond pulled Tony into a bigger hug and shushed his cries, letting him know that Peter was fine, and he was very much alive upstairs. Nothing Tony could possibly say would cause Peter to die. Steve didn't know what Tony said, and he didn't want to. All he did was remind him the he will always be there for him. Based on everything that they had been through, it would take a lot more than _this_ to make him want to have a divorce or have Peter hate him.

After that day, Peter never came down for breakfast. Whenever Steve or Tony came upstairs in the morning to check up on him, They were greeted with the same image, every time. He was sometimes under his blankets, or not even covered with them, dead asleep. The only constant was the bottle of sleeping pills that always seemed to be half open.

Steve and Tony noticed that when Peter finally awoke, he didn't come down for lunch either. He didn't even show his face for something small to eat.

On weekdays, Peter slept through breakfast. He went downstairs at the same time every morning to get dropped to school. Once he came home, he went straight to his room and did his homework.

Or, at least, thats what his parents thought the was doing.

When it was time for dinner, Peter was sometimes sleeping. His backpack thrown on the floor as he was lying completely still on his bed. On the good days, Steve and Tony would go into his room and beg him to consume something, and he would.

On the weekends, Peter, again, slept through breakfast. The only difference was that he was asleep until the early afternoon. And after he awoke, he wouldn't go downstairs. He would take an extremely long shower. Tony even remembered counting how long he spent in there.

His longest was an hour and twenty one minutes.

And after his showers, he wouldn't come downstairs for lunch. The only time he ate in the afternoon was when Steve or Tony came upstairs with a small snack, asking him to eat it.

He did eat.

_Sometimes._

Luckily, he was still awake for dinner on the weekends. Most of the time, he would make his way downstairs. He always takes his seat at the table across from his parents. Always having his left arm on the table, using his hand to hold his head upright. He ate the food slowly, putting small bites inside of his mouth.

Saying absolutely nothing.

On what Steve and Tony considered Peter's decent days, he ate about half of his already tiny portion. On his worse days, he ate about one fourth of his food before excusing himself to go back upstairs.

His parents tried not to make comments on how he was losing weight.

They tried not to think about it too much.

Didn't work out very well.

His parents thought that since they weren't able to get through to him, maybe Peter could invite one of his friends over (Not Wade) to talk to. Maybe they could watch a movie, or do something that doesn't involve reading and sulking around all day.

Whenever Tony or Steve brought it up, a dry and humorless laugh would escape Peter's lips. He would turn away from them, keeping his gaze set on anything else inside of the room.

_"Friends?" He chuckled bitterly. "I'm not allowed to have any friends, remember?"_

Most of Peter's days were spent in silence. He would give simple, one worded answers to his parents whenever they asked questions, or he wouldn't reply at all. Before, their home would be filled up with the sounds of them all talking to each other. One of the only times their house would be silent was when the soft strums from Peter's guitar would be heard from upstairs.

These days, the silence was everlasting with no music to full the hole. Most of the sounds were hushed and worried whispers between Tony and Steve. It was as if Peter's parents were dealing with a stranger in their house.

Most of the time, home wasn't a place of comfort for Steve and Tony anymore. It felt better to be out and surrounded by any type of noise besides ghostly footsteps or faint whispers.

Somedays, Steve left for work just a little bit earlier and came home a little bit later.

Anything was better than silence.

Tony on the other hand, knew that all of this was his fault.

He made a mess, and now he needs to be a man and fix it.

So it was rare that he actually went to work. He stayed home whenever Peter was. Constantly trying his best to talk to him, trying to get through to him.

But it seemed like it never worked.

Since when did he forget how to talk to his own son?

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

_'5...'_

_'4...'_

_'3...'_

_'2...'_

_'1...'_ Tony internally counted, checking the time on his watch.

Peter usually came down right about...

Now.

Tony heard quiet footsteps on the marble staircase. Peter had his backpack slung over his right shoulder as his head was turned downwards, looking at his shoes.

"Hi Dad." Peter said.

Tony came from his position in the kitchen and made his way towards his son. Steve had left a little while ago for work. For the past couple of weeks in the morning, it had always been him and Peter. Stark hadn't stopped feeling guilty for what he said to the brunette and was still trying to make it up to him, but nothing seemed to be working.

He knew that all of this was his fault, and it was up to him to fix it.

When Stark was close enough, he offered him a packaged blueberry muffin. Tony knew that those were Peter's favorite since he was a toddler.

Peter lifted his tired eyes to glance at his father and then to the muffin inside of a ziplock bag in his hand. He wasn't going to lie to himself. It looked great and he was feeling a little bit hungry, But he wasn't in the mood for eating. Lately, He hadn't felt like he was in the mood to  do anything anymore. The more he thought about it, the more he realized there was no point.

He was going to die sooner than later anyway.

"No thanks." Peter mumbled. "Not feeling hungry."

Stark hesitated for a couple seconds before he spoke up. "Well... thats okay." He said. "I umm... packed it... just incase you get hungry later..."

Peter nodded his thanks as his pale hand reached up to grab the bag from his father, sliding it  inside of his backpack. He couldn't reject the food that he offered him, so he decided to take it anyway.

He thought that he could give it to Wade when he saw him today. He knew how much he loved food, he was so adorable sometimes.

Or he could give it to Gwen if she wanted it at lunch today. Ever since MJ and her new "Friends" began sitting at their old table, Peter and Gwen ate outside. It was an empty grassland that was about a two minute walk from the school. Sure it was cold as hell outside, but they didn't have anywhere else to go.

And Gwen's company made the pain that swelled in his chest bearable.

Stark cleared his throat awkwardly, trying to muster out the next few words. He had to make things right with Peter. He was usually a quiet kid, but never this quiet. And his appetite had almost always been a problem, but he had never gone days without eating before.

He used to eat breakfast sometimes and dinner almost always, but he wasn't anymore. He skipped breakfast, didn't eat any lunch, and was usually sleeping by dinner time. If he wasn't asleep, he was either taking a really long shower, or lying down, reading silently.

Tony remembered how Peter said he hadn't been sleeping too well a while ago and asked for the sleeping pills, but he had seemed fine while he was on them. Now, Peter slept more than Tony had seen him sleep in a long time. And if Stark's math was correct, which it always was, then on weekdays and weekends, Peter slept for approximately twelve hours, ten minutes, and eight seconds.

"You've been umm..." Tony mustered out, "A little quiet lately, are you... okay? Is something going on at school?"

Peter shifted his weight towards the left, adjusting the strap of his oxygen tank. He internally laughed at his father's question. He knew that there was no way in hell that he would tell his dad about Flash and Liz. Not only would Tony throw a fit, but he would most likely be pulled out of school also.

Even if, it's not like what they said about him wasn't true. Most of the time, Peter silently agreed with them. Maybe he really was better off dead. Not even his biological parents wanted him, so why would anyone else? If he ended it all one night, no one would care. No one would actually notice.

It wouldn't even matter.

"Nothing _new_ is happening at school." Peter said. "It's just the same day, everyday."

As Stark cleared his throat his voice wavered, dancing around the subject he was curious about. "You know... if something is bothering you... I'll always be here."

"Or if you don't feel like going today... We can do something together, just you and I."

"It's fine." The brunette sighed.

"How are you feeling?

"I'm okay." Peter answered.

"And how are you physically feeling?"

_'Besides the cancer eating my lung and my liver?'_

"I still feel... okay."

"Really?" Stark asked, worried. "Any headaches? Pain in your chest or abdomen? Trouble breathing?"

_'All of the above.'_

"No, Dad." Peter lied, turning away. "I feel fine... I'm not in any pain."

"Peter." Tony began. "I know you might be upset that I took your phone and grounded you. But you have to know I'm only doing this-"

"To protect me... from people like Wade." Peter interrupted, his voice dropping bitterly. Tony had given the same excuses over and over again since he came back from the movies. Why was his father so worried about him dating Wade?

Was it because he had such little faith in him to make the right decisions by himself for _once_?

The brunette knew that Wade would never touch him like Westcot did. He knew that he wasn't dating him so he can, As Tony said, _'Use him for his body and never look at him again.'_ Peter knew that his body wasn't good anyway.

It was weak. It could barely function on his own. He knew the cannula and his medication were the only things keeping him alive.

For now, anyway.

Not to mention, he was surprised he even lived past infancy. Or made it out of his childhood. His body was too fragile. He had to be careful when it was too hot or cold and he couldn't even play any sports like all the other kids without collapsing into a wheezing, twitching mess on the floor.

The most exercise he got was when he walked up and down the stairs. If his body could tolerate it.  

And he didn't even want think of the scars that still remained on his chest.

He was damaged goods.

"To keep me safe..." Peter continued. "From people like Wade."

"To make sure I don't get hurt and taken advantage of... by people like Wade."

" All because... I'm not trusted enough to make my own decisions."

"You know I didn't mean it like that-" Tony tried.

"Yes." The brunette whispered weakly. "You did."

"Pete..." He said, attempting to step closer, but froze when he saw Peter's reaction.

The brunette took a step backwards, away from his father.

"Dad." He murmured, staring at the floor. "I really _really_ don't want to talk about this right now."

"Can you please drop me to school?"

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

________________________________

_"How much longer do you think you're going to last in this?"_

_"How long can you keep this up?"_

_________________________________

Peter knew that his father was right this entire time. How long did he really think that he would last in this life? It was only a matter of time before his cancer got terrible again. Well, it was already pretty terrible, but even worse than it already is. How much longer until it spreads to his brain? Until his liver fails? Until his only lung gives out?

How much longer until he finally dies?

In a dark, cold, and depressing room surrounded by doctors, interns, and nurses. Poking, prodding, and examining his body for "research" Only to at the end of it, give up and realize that nothing more could be done at that point. The " _patient_ " was already dead. The " _patient_ " had less than six months , the " _patient's_ " family should start saying his goodbyes. It was like he wouldn't be a person anymore worthy of a name, he was just his cancer.

_'Stage four lung cancer patient.'_

Thats all he will ever be to them.

Within the final stages, Peter knew that he would be more machine than a human being. All for the purpose of desperately trying to help his body avoid the inevitable that most people fear. Peter only knows because that has happened to him before when he was ten. The only difference between him and most people was that at the end, he wasn't scared of the so called inevitable.

He actually embraced it.

One day, his body would give into the sickness as it finally consumed his body. Or, the cords would finally be unplugged, letting him be free of his silent suffering, ending everything once and for all. He would finally have his bliss, or whatever the hell was on the other side. Not that he could complain anyway.

He couldn't feel pain if he was dead.

Was his life really worth it anyway? He had always found a way to fail the most important people around him. He and his parents were all supposed to be a normal family. Definitely not perfect, but happy. Only, it seemed as if Peter was the one driving a wedge between their marriage. He thought of himself as a problem that they had to deal with. Because of him getting sick, they didn't get to enjoy their lives. There was so much stress and chaos going on all the time and Peter knew where it all was coming from. Even though he wasn't dying in a hospital bed (Yet),  he was still finding a way to ruin everything for them.

And not to mention Wade. To this day, he still didn't know what Wade saw in him. To Peter, whenever he looked inside of the mirror, he saw a pathetic and worthless creature staring back him. There were so many better people in the school for Wade to chose from. Ones that wouldn't weigh him down with their sickness. Other girls and boys that had the possibility to live long enough to give him a future. Wade wouldn't have to help them up simple flights of stairs, or slow down his walking pace because of wheezes threatening to come out of their body.

If Wade was with someone else, anyone else, then maybe he would know what a real relationship felt like.

If Peter couldn't even make his loved ones happy, what was the point?

_'How long can I survive this?'_

_'I hate feeling like a burden to everyone around me.'_

_'Will my life ever get better?'_

Peter wondered why he couldn't do simple things. He didn't want to continuously fail at everything over and over again, he was sick of it. He was an empty shell of reoccuring thoughts on how worthless he was. Those thoughts led to him wondering if his death would make everything better...

Things were only gonna get worse from here and it would hurt a lot less if he ended it all... now...

He felt that he should end it all.

He wanted to end it all.

It was a crushing pain that he felt everyday  reminding him on how much of a failure he was. He knew he could talk to his parents, Gwen, or Wade... but he didn't want to bother them. He didn't want to keep on sucking the life out of their life. There was a gnawing loneliness inside of his chest and he wanted it to go away... but it never did.

_'Will I ever be happy again? Was I happy in the first place?'_

He was lost, unsure of what to do.

Maybe he should find a way to leave... dispose of himself before his cancer does it for him...

After all, that was the only thing he actually had control of in the downwards spiral he called his life.

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

Today, It was one of Peter's harder days to meet Gwen in their usual spot for lunch. For him, it was a two minute walk uphill to reach the flat peak. It was the back building that they got rid of a couple decades ago. The scars of the earth eventually healed as the ground was replaced with dozens of tiny flowers and large patches of grass.

His chest tightened with each step he took towards Gwen and the cold air was not making it any better. He was taking slow, shallow breaths in and out with a pressuring pain in his body. It felt like the more he was outside, the worse his only lung was becoming. He knew that if he stayed out here long enough, he would stop breathing because his lung wouldn't be able to go on anymore.

_Not that he had too much of a problem with that._

_It was going to happen sooner or later._

_Just a matter of time._

Once he reached the top, he saw Gwen with a biology textbook in her lap. Only, she wasn't reading it. Her vibrant curls were the only thing brightening the dull color scheme. The sun was gone, allowing the gloomy clouds to reign over the sky. Darkening it with a depressive embrace, chilling Peter to the bone. Her gaze was focused in front of her, staring at the endless abyss of trees that surrounded the school.

"Hi." Peter said, sitting down next to Gwen.

She didn't turn her head like Peter expected her to. Her dark green eyes were focused on the scene in front of her. And if Peter was seeing correctly, it looked like Gwen was frowning. She never showed her sad emotions. The only time they came through was when something was _really_ bothering her. She had a tendency to keep all of her feeling buried on the inside. Peter tried to do the same, but he was like a book. Everyone could easily read his expressions.

"Hey." She said back.

"Is something wrong?" Peter asked.

A small sigh escaped Gwen's lips as she tilted her head towards the right. "Do you think..." She began. "That there's no such thing as accidents? Our death date is already set from the day we were born?"

"Or when we die... there is something on the other side... waiting for us?"

The brunette turned his gaze from Gwen to the view she was staring at. He placed his hands in his lap as he took a painful breath in and a shaky one out. He had thought about this question a lot throughout his life. Gwen seemed pretty distressed and he wasn't sure if he should give her his honest opinion on death. Because it would've probably made her feel worse than she already was.

He shook his head, avoiding her question. "Gwen, what's going on?"

"Nothing really."

"Come on." Peter began. "I've never seen you like this before."

"If theres something going on, I want you to feel comfortable telling me."

"You've always been there when something was upsetting me..." He continued. "And I just want to be there for you."

Gwen out a small sigh as she wiped one of her eyes with her hand. Her gaze went towards her lap as he cleared her throat softly and whispered a faint _'okay.'_

"Today is the..." She began, voice breaking. As if she could ever forget the day that this happened. "Anniversary of my brother's death."

Next week, he would've turned sixteen.

"I'm sorry." Peter said. After all, thats all he could say.

She had probably heard that phrase thousands of times before. Peter knew how she felt though. When the cancer was really bad, he lost count on how many times he heard the words _"I'm sorry"_ directed towards his parents. They all thought Peter couldn't hear them, but he could. He heard every last word.

"He... umm..." Gwen continued. "Drowned last year." She remembered the moment the police officer showed up to her home with the news. And the image of her brother's body afterwards on the gurney was the one thing that left her unable to sleep for weeks.

"If you ever need someone to talk to, I'll always be here for you." Peter said. "I lost someone close to me too."

"Who?"

"An old childhood friend." Peter said, smiling at the distant memory of who the both of them used to be. "He died a couple years ago."

"How do you go on..." She whispered. "When the memories become too much?"

"Pain is an old friend." Peter said. "I learned to muddle through, as always."

"But..." She whimpered. "Why does it have to hurt so much?"

"It hurts because we weren't fortunate enough to get what most people have in the movies."

"A happy ending?" She asked.

"No." Peter shook his head. "A proper goodbye."

"We live in the real world."

"In this shitty place filled with more than enough tears and misery for thousands of other lifetimes. The place where we see our loved ones suffer as we sit here watching it happen...  Wishing... that we had enough power to save them... But we don't because we're so so powerless..."

"And thats the universe when you think about it.. while were in pain, she's laughing at our mortality right in our faces... I guess she just enjoys screwing innocent people over, doesn't she?"

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

The car ride home was pretty silent, besides Tony's attempts for a conversation. Peter nodded along giving pretty vague answers. He really didn't have anything to say to his father right now, he wasn't in the mood for speaking. Once they reached home, Peter was about to follow his daily routine of going upstairs in his ~~_cave_ ~~  room, but his father stopped him.

______________________

_"Hey, Pete..." Tony offered sheepishly. "If you want... we could... maybe watch a movie together?"_

_"Sorry... I umm... I can't tonight." Peter replied. "I have a ton of homework to do. Next time?"_

_"Yeah, of course, no... no its fine." Tony said. "Just... let me know when you want to."_

____________________

Peter had been sitting alone in his room since he came home, attempting to get some of his homework done. That was slightly hard considering Tony kept popping his head in every once in a while to "check up" on him. It felt strange having his father so close to him again. Peter had over a month of Tony being distant around him, and then after that argument that they had when he went out with Wade, he suddenly became close again.

But it was way too close. Closer than before.

It felt slightly awkward. He didn't feel ready to talk to his father about every aspect of his life again. If this was Tony's way of trying to make it all better without actually saying the word ' _Sorry_ ', Peter knew that he would need a bit of space before he would be able to open up.

Whenever Tony came in, he would grab the perfect Rubik's cube from Peter's nightstand, mess it up, and then solve it again while he was talking to the brunette. Peter could tell that his father's speech was hesitant, as he was trying his best not to say something wrong. Tony wanted to know what Peter did, how he was feeling, what he learned at school, and more. Peter tried his best to answer despite how uncomfortable he was feeling.

Peter knew that he wasn't good at keeping his expressions hidden for too long and eventually Tony got the message that was being sent from Peter's body language. So, after Tony's eighth visit, he didn't come back upstairs.

Once the brunette finished his homework, he continued reading one of the books off of a shelf in his room. He had read everything book more than once, but he had nothing better to do.

_No phone._

_No going outside._

After reading Stephen King's 'Cujo' He realized it was time to call it a day. Peter felt a little exhausted from existing. Even if, converting oxygen to carbon dioxide was a lot of work for him, so he definitely deserved an extra couple hours of rest.

He glanced over to his nightstand and looked at the bottle of sleeping pills. His holy grail for the past few weeks. It was nice because they helped him get a break from the world. When he was unconscious, he felt no pain, happiness, or sorrow. It was like he ceased to exist for the moment.

The only problem was when he wasn't falling asleep as fast as he wanted to. He could feel himself building a tolerance to the pills. So one night when he was still awake, he had an idea.

_'What would happen if I took a little more than the recommended amount?'_

The thought made sense to him though. If he took more pills, then he would fall asleep faster.

And if he accidentally did overdose, it wouldn't matter that much anyway.

He was going to die soon, just like his Dad said. So what was wrong with speeding up the process?

Before, he would cry himself to sleep, every single night. He muffled his sobs into his pillow because he was so scared of the thought of dying. He wasn't sure what to expect on the "other side" or "afterlife. Since he was not religious, he didn't have a safety blanket with the thought of heaven. He had absolutely nothing.

His only guess was that there was a dark and lonely void that humans were sent to after death.

Some people believed in the beauty heaven and the torment of hell.

Peter believed in loneliness in what he liked to call, "The empty"

After he took a little more than the recommended dosage, he wasn't thinking about his fear of death anymore. At that point, he was no longer scared of it.

He remembered feeling really dizzy for a while before he passed out of the bathroom floor. It felt strange at first, considering his whole life he had been scared of dying, terrified even. But now, he was welcoming it with open arms.

Ever since he started taking more pills, he felt like his chest was becoming tighter and tighter even when he wasn't even doing any physical activity. But that was okay. Then, he noticed that opening his eyes and actually getting out of bed  seemed to be increasing in difficulty each morning, but that was okay. He got used to all the pain by now.

His agony was apart of his daily schedule now. It was like an old friend that showed up every once in a while, reminding he that he still demanded to be acknowledged.

Right when he was about to reach for the pills, a soft knock was placed on his door. Peter quickly pulled his hand away from the bottle, grabbing the book he was previously reading and opened to a random page.

"Come in." He said.

Steve slowly opened the door, but he didn't come inside. He stood by the doorway, giving a hesitant smile to his son. Peter could tell that there was something he wanted to say, but didn't. It had been like that for a while. Tony had often chattered too much while Steve usually talked too little.

"Hey, Pete." Steve said, leaning on the doorway. "Did you... have a good day at school?"

The brunette nodded, fiddling with some of the pages in his hand. "Yep."

"It was alright."

The blond tapped his fingers rapidly over his crossed arms. "Thats... umm... great." He replied. "Did anything interesting happen today?"

"Or... " He hesitated. "Anything in particular you want to talk about?"

"Nope."

"Come on, Pete." Steve sighed. "Anything?"

_'Well, this morning, I wanted to slam the door of my locker on my neck.'_

"I sulked with Gwen today." Peter said. "That's pretty interesting."

"Did you learn anything new? Steve asked, changing the subject.

"No..." The brunette shook his head. "Not really." The only note worthy thing Peter learned was the locations of the classrooms that were empty during seventh period. Wade wanted to ditch the whole biology period, but Peter said no. Instead of the whole class, they left at different times during last hour of class. Peter wondered if they would get in trouble, but Wade said that they wouldn't. They had a substitute that day, and she want not paying attention to the class.

And she didn't notice.

So they stayed inside one of the empty classrooms, just talking to one another. Catching up on their lives because this was the most they got to spend time with each other. Peter got his phone taken away so they couldn't text each other and he also couldn't leave the house or go anywhere else other than school. It was nice, to forget life for a little while. Nothing else seemed to matter anymore.

"You went to school and learned nothing?" Steve asked.

 _'Well... I guess I learned that Wade_ _really_ _likes Tony's blueberry muffins.'_

The brunette shook his head silently.

"Are you hungry?" He questioned. "Dinner is ready."

"Uhmm... no, I'm not hungry."

"What did you eat today?"

"A muffin." Peter lied. Or at least, half-lied. he didn't have an entire muffin, but he had some of it. It was only because when he told Wade that he didn't eat anything for the entire day, he told him that he needed to eat something. Peter declined, but Wade wasn't taking no for an answer. Eventually Peter gave in as he and Wade ate the muffin together.

"I'll see you downstairs then." Steve said. "You need to eat more than a muffin. It's not healthy to barely eat anything."

_'I am not healthy.'_

"I'm fine." The brunette murmured. "I'm about to go to bed anyway."

"Peter." The blond said firmly. "Eating dinner is _not_ up for discussion tonight."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

Peter sat grimly at the dining room table, picking around at the broccoli on his fork. He had successfully taken a couple bites of his food. The silence between him and his parents ruined his already non existent appetite. He kept his eyes towards his plate, avoiding the worried glances he got every couple of seconds. He hoped that he could stomach about half of his food before he went back upstairs.

The silence was disrupted when the blond cleared his throat, placing his fork down on his placemat. "Peter." He spoke. "Your father and I need to talk to you."

The brunette looked up and made eye contact with Steve. "I didn't do anything wrong." He immediately said.

The blond rose one of his eyebrows in confusion, shaking his head slightly. "We never said you did..." He murmured. "Your father and I have thought about this for a while... and we-"

"Peter we think you're depressed." Tony blurted, interrupting Steve.

"What?" He exclaimed. His eyes were bouncing from both of his parents.

The blond turned towards Tony. _"You didn't have to say it like that."_ He whispered.

"I'm not depressed." Peter said, defensively.

Steve turned his attention back towards Peter. "What you father was _trying_ to say..." He continued. "Is that... we noticed that you've been acting a little different lately... and we just want to know whats going on."

"Nothing." Peter answered. "I'm great."

"You've have barely eaten." Tony said.

"And you've been sleeping way too much." Steve added.

"Haven't you noticed that _something_ has changed?" Stark questioned. "Anything?"

"No, I haven’t noticed because nothing has changed!" Peter persisted, trying to keep his voice as flat as possible. Anger was in his chest at his parents accusation. He had always been like this. A waste of space teen who did nothing but sleep and eat, sometimes. He was a mess of self loathing thoughts, but he had always been okay. Why couldn't his parents believe him on that? "I sleep because I'm tired and I don't eat because I'm not hungry."

"Peter." Steve continued. "If something is bothering you...  you can tell us. You know that, right?"

"Yes."

"Then why aren't you?" Stark asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Tony." Steve warned. They didn't need another argument between the two. But, even with the blond's best attempt to prevent one, it seemed like it was about to begin anyway. He wanted to be gentle with asking Peter about this, but Tony thought it was a good idea to blurt it out. He could tell how defensive Peter was because of it.

"Because..." Peter murmured, burring his head in his hands. He couldn't believe this was happening. He was getting the _'We think you're depressed talk'_ , again. It had happened years ago and Peter knew exactly how this was going to play out. "You guys would find a way to overreact... Like you are doing now."

"I'm a lot of things..." The brunette uttered. "But depressed isn't one of them..."

"We also noticed that you don't seem comfortable talking to us." The blond responded. "So we thought you would benefit from talking to someone else...'

_'No.'_

_'No.'_

The brunette looked at his parents through the spaces between his fingers. "Please don't tell me you're tying to send me to therapy..." He internally cringed at the memory. It wasn't like they sent him to an individual session. If he were being honest, that would've been way better than what they made him go to. As if he could every forget all of the embarrassing moments from the old group therapy sessions he used to go to. It was, as they called it, ' _The circle of healing'_

"We think..." Tony informed. "It would be the best option right now.'

"Okay." Peter surrendered. "Okay fine. Just anything but group therapy."

_'I will probably throw myself off of the George Washington bridge if I have to go there again'_

Peter's parents exchanged glances before the blond cleared his throat and spoke up. "Peter." He said. "We talked to your therapist... and she thinks that group would be a good choice."

The brunettes head dropped from his hands, onto the table which resulted in a loud bang on the wood.

_'Ow.'_

"Please don't make me do this..." He begged. "I don't need therapy."

Thats when Tony turned to Steve and murmured, _"We'll have to see his psychiatrist  next week to pick up his medication."_

"More medication?!" Peter asked, lifting his head from the table.

"It's to help ease the symptoms, Pete." Stark tried to reassure him. "You'll get better with time."

"No." The brunette shook his head. "I don't want to do this."

"Peter." Steve said, lowering his voice. Peter knew what that _voice_ his father spoke with meant. It was the one where the decision was already made for him, and it would be easier for everyone else and himself if he just cooperated. "Its all for the best."

"Why am I not allowed to stay home and sulk like an overly emotional teen?" He asked. Why did his parents always think that they were trying to help him by forcing him to do things he didn't feel comfortable doing? Why didn't he get an opinion when it came to his own health? Why was everyone else constantly making decisions for him?

"Because overly emotional and depressed are two _very_ different things." Stark explained.

The brunette sighed adjusted the strap of his tank on his shoulder. Tears welled in his eyes as he shook his head, standing up from his seat. "And now you're labeling me..." Peter murmured, "Perfect." He wasn't the one who got to talk about how he was feeling or how much pain he was in. It was like everyone else always telling him what to do and how to feel. They were the ones in charge of his life, not him.

"Peter." Steve begged. "Please sit back down."

"We're not labeling you." Stark continued, standing up also. "We know what you're going through... and want to help."

The brunette's eyes narrowed in disbelief as he stared at Tony. " _You_ know what _I'm_ going through?" He questioned.

_'Are you the one dying of cancer?'_

"Peter." Tony tried to explain. "The symptoms of depression are the same for most-"

Peter couldn't believe what he was hearing at this moment. His father was trying to interpret what he was going through, and how he was feeling by some dictionary definition on a mental illness. Instead of waiting for Peter to open up, he already jumped to conclusions to try and "Fix" Peter like he was a thing, or a problem that needed to be dealt with.

Like he wasn't even a human being anymore.

He was just a patient.

He pushed in his chair as he walked towards the stairs. "I'm going to bed." The brunette murmured, interrupting his father.

By the time he was halfway up, Tony was already by the foot of the stairs. "Peter... were only trying to help you."

The brunette paused and bit hit tongue until he felt the blood ooze out.

_'You want to help me?'_

_'Then just kill me, please.'_

He said nothing as he continued his silent journey up the stairs, and into his room.

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

_'Five...'_

_'Four...'_

_'Three...'_

_'Two...'_

_'One...'_

1:21:00 AM

Peter had been awake, staring at he ceiling for the past few hours. After he stormed off upstairs from dinner, he tried to fall asleep so he could basically sleep his sorrows away.

That was, until he realized that he was out of sleeping pills. After his body barely got a decent amount of rest, he was suddenly awakened by nothing, unable to fall back into his subconscious.

So instead of disappearing from the real word for a while, he was forced to lie awake with only his thoughts to keep him company.

Now that he thought about it, it made sense to why his parents may of thought he was depressed. But he still couldn't understand why they thought sending him to therapy, without his consent, was a good idea. He did not want to talk to a stranger, he wanted to talk to them, But it felt nearly impossible to. Since Tony started ignoring him for seeing Wade. Each day felt like they were growing farther and farther apart. And then, when Tony asked him how long he thinks that he was going to last in this, it made Peter realize that he really wasn't going to live much longer.

His thoughts were interrupted by a faint tapping at his closed window.

_'What the hell?'_

He grabbed his oxygen tank from the side of his bed as he took his blankets off of his body. He took himself out of his bed as he made his way towards his window, opening the blinds to get a better view. His eyes had a little bit of trouble adjusting to the darkness, but it got easier when he saw the headlights of a black car in drive way.

Unusual.

It was the middle of night, or early morning. Why was anyone in the driveway? He squinted to get a better view of the person who seemed to be throwing something at his window.  After a couple of seconds, his eyes located a figure that was perched down into the grass, picking up a handful of the tiny pebbles. When the figure stood up and looked up at Peter's window, the car headlights lit up their face, revealing hazel eyes and an oversized hoodie. A stupid grin rose to Peter's face when he realized who it was.

Wade fucking Wilson.

_Tap_

_Tap_

_Tap_

The brunette's first instinct was to go downstairs and greet Wade outside. His only hope was that Tony or Steve weren't awake at this hour, it was unlikely anyway. He crept downstairs slowly, scanning his surroundings trying his best not to make any noise. Once he reached the foyer, he slid on a pair of Tony's slippers and Steve's oversized coat.

As soon as he opened the door, he saw Wade freeze as he stopped himself from throwing another stone at Peter's window. He smiled as he made his way down the steps. "Hello there." Peter grinned.

Wade dropped the handful of pebbles as he practically ran and embraced Peter into a gigantic hug. "Hey there..." He murmured into Peter's hair. "I missed you."

"And you smell really nice."

"What are you... what are you doing here?" Peter asked, stunned. The happiness he once had turned into a bone chilling fear. "If Tony sees you... we're both going to get skinned alive."

Wilson pulled away, keeping his arm wrapped around Peter. "I came to check up on you." He admitted. "You don't have your phone... and I usually text you in the middle of the night to see if you're okay..."

"So I decided to come over myself and check up on you."

"Why..." Peter mustered out. "Why were you throwing stones at my window?"

"How else was I going to get your attention?" Wilson responded.

"And how did you know it was my window?"

"Uhmm..." Wade scratched the back of his head nervously. "Fifty fifty chance..."

The brunette could feel the red rush into his cheeks as he stared upwards at Wade. He didn't think that Wade would actually do something like this, for him of all people. Communication between the two had been difficult, but they somehow made it work during school hours. Wade had never done anything this before though. Peter was only praying that his parents wouldn't wake up and find them out here."Please tell me I'm dreaming..."

"Why? I'm much more beautiful in person, aren't I?"

Peter rolled his eyes playfully. "I seriously can't believe that you were stupid enough to drive here to check up on me." Peter admitted. "In the middle of the night."

"Well..." Wade murmured, laying small pecks on Peter's face. "They say only fools fall in love..."

"So I guess we both are a couple of dumbasses then."

"Then I guess that makes you my favorite dumbass..." Peter murmured. He had to stand on his tip of his toes so he could bring his lips to hover over Wade's. "So its okay..."

"Peter..." Wade asked, pulling the small brunette closer towards his chest. "Would it be all right If we just... sat and talked for a little while?" It would be a shame to leave now. And only five minutes wouldn't hurt anyone...

"I don't know..." Peter sighed. Tony didn't even want him talking to Wade anymore. He remembered when his father told him before school that he and Wade should, _'Keep their distances.'_

"And in exchange for your time..." Wade grinned, laying dozens of kisses on Peter's neck. Trailing down all of his birthmarks before looking up and letting his hazel eyes meet the soft brown ones. "I'll give you this smile?"

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

Both of them climbed onto the roof of Wade's car. Peter stumbled a little bit before Wade helped him up. Both of their legs were hanging off of the edge, swinging with a small excitement the longer they kept talking, more the fell in love with one another. Wade held Peter's hands inside of his, keeping them warm from the cold winds. They talked about their hopes and they talked about their fears. Peter opened up a little bit more on Harry, and Wade did the same about his mother.

Eventually, Wade drifted back asleep. His head was in Peter's lap as both of his arms wrapped around one of the brunette's legs. Peter stroked his hands through Wade's hair while he was sleeping. For a long while, he was simply memorizing all of the details of his face. And then next thing he knew, tears were slipping down from Peter's face and onto Wade's. One day, he wouldn't have Wade anymore.

The brunette didn't want to die in a cold dark hospital room. Hooked up to numerous machines that would be the only thing keeping him alive. Deep down, he knew he would die sooner or later, but he wanted it to be easy, quick, and painless. He wanted to pass on before his cancer gets him because he would leave the earth with a shred of dignity.

But he also didn't want to. Because he wanted to live. He wanted grow old with someone one day.

Eventually, the tears that came down onto Wade's face woke him up. When he asked Peter what was wrong, all the brunette said was, _"Nothing, I'm fine."_ Wade didn't believe him though. But he wasn't going to pester Peter for an answer either. So, all he did was pull the brunette into his chest, and let him cry. Stroking his hair and placing warm kisses on his face, letting him know that he loved him, and everything would be alright.

Somehow, Peter drifted away.

It was nice having a real nights sleep that wasn't forced by medication for once.

And then, he woke up in the same place, Wade's gentle hand nudging him back into the land of the living.

When Peter grumbled for Wade to let him sleep, he begged Peter to look up.

And when he did, he forgot about everything else.

Silence swept between the two of them as they saw the sun begin to rise.

And Peter's eyes stared upwards in awe as he soaked up the beauty of the atmosphere.

_How all was golden in the sky._

_All was golden when the day met the night._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peek-a-boo! Someone might die soon.
> 
> 7/4/17- Happy birthday Capitan Steve Rogers.


	15. As Cold As Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning(s)// sexual abuse, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, phys-
> 
> There's just a lot of abuse in this chapter, okay?
> 
> ~Careful

“Major Depressive Disorder." Dr. Kafka said, removing her eyes from her clipboard. "Your son's screening was more than positive, but you don't have to worry Mr.Stark. It's easily treatable."

Peter and his father, Tony, had been at the psychiatrist's office for only God knows how long. The brunette was trying to convince his parents that he wasn't depressed, but they weren't buying it. It took a little while, but Peter persuaded them to take him for a real depression screening instead of letting them jump to conclusions.

So here Peter and Tony were, Steve had to go to work. After the screening, they waited inside of the office. A large room with plain white walls and some weirdly therapeutic pictures hanging down. They took two seats in front of a large desk with some room for the psychiatrist to sit behind it.

Once Dr. Kafka came in, she took a seat. At first, Peter wasn't that worried about what she was going to say. He knew that he didn't have depression, he was fine. That was, until she hesitated before speaking, and looked down at her clipboard. Y'know, that thing that all doctors did when they deliver unpleasant news and were trying to hide their true facial expressions.

And once she did speak, she only made eye contact with Tony. Peter knew that his dad was the adult, but he would appreciate it if he wasn't constantly talked about in the third person.

_'I'm glad that you brought your son in for treatment.'_

_'Peter has been exhibiting signs of depression.'_

_'We feel that Peter may have trouble communicating his emotions. That's very common with teenagers.'_

It was extremely frustrating to feel like an extra in this situation. Peter was trying his best to stay silent, biting his tongue to keep all of the comments to himself until he couldn't handle it anymore. He didn't want anyone to do the talking for him or for a paper and pencil test to determine how he felt. Only he should know how he feels. If he said he was fine, why didn't anyone believe him?

"I'm not depressed." He blurted.

This was the first time his psychiatrist had looked at him since she had entered the room. "Peter." She said, her eyes and voice condescending. "Denial is all part of the recovery process."

"I'm not denying anything." The brunette replied. "I'm fine, seriously."

Dr.Kafka glanced at Tony before hesitantly looking towards her papers and clearing her throat. "From the Geriatric Depression Scale, it asked if you prefer to stay at home rather than going out and doing new things?"

"And you answered, Yes."

"I like staying home," Peter said.

"These questions recognize that isolation and withdrawal are common signs of depression..."

"And from the Beck Depression Inventory, it asked, _'How is your energy?'_ Declines in energy level are a sign of depression. The answers were: As much energy as ever, less energy than before, not enough to do much, or not enough to do anything."

"You answered, less energy than before."

"High school is stressful," Peter said. With all of the homework he had to do, Flash and Liz constantly taunting him, and this whole ordeal with Tony and Wade was stressing him out. He guessed that was why he wasn't sleeping that well. Which was why he had less energy than before.

"From the MADRS, it asked, _'How is your sleep?'_ The answers included were: Sleeping, as usual, slight difficulty, sleep reduced by at least two hours, or getting less than three hours of sleep at night."

"You answered, sleep reduced by at least two hours. A greater sleep disturbance signals a greater risk for depression." Kafka continued.

"School is stressful... and I've had trouble sleeping for a while."

The psychiatrist cleared her throat before she looked back at the paper in her hands. "From the HAND it asked, _'Have you had any thoughts of death?'_ The possible answers were: Never, some thoughts of death, some thoughts of suicide, or some attempt at suicide.

"You answered... some thoughts of death."

"But I'm dying..." Peter murmured. "Am I not allowed to think about my eventual death?"

"No, Peter." Tony finally spoke up, looking at his son for the first time since they had began waiting in the room. "Someone your age shouldn't be thinking about that. It's not normal."

The brunette let out a deep sigh and turned his gaze towards his lap. "What now?" He mumbled bitterly.

"Well..." She continued. "I've gotten your prescriptions here."

She grabbed the white prescription pill bag to the right of her and stuck her hand in, taking out four transparent bottles filled with green, red, light blue, and purple oval shaped pills.

"With the help of my team, I've decided to put you on Duloxetine and Fluoxetine to help ease the symptoms." She said.

"Along with," She said, pointing to the purple and green pills. "Olanzapine with Aripiprazole."

"Why do I need four antidepressants?" Peter was internally hoping for one, or at the most, two different types. He was already taking his anti-cancer medication and that was bad enough. At this point, he knew that the less medication he took, the better.

"Olanzapine and Aripiprazole will help increase the effects of the other medication to improve success."

"How often do I need to take them?" Peter asked.

"Just three times a day. You can take them before or after each meal."

_'Five different types of medication... three times a day...'_

_'Fifteen pills every day...'_

_'Yay...'_

"Also..." Dr. Kafka continued, dragging her voice out just the tiniest bit. "It's also been noted that you haven't been eating that well."

"So I also added Dronabinol to help your appetite." She smiled sheepishly.

"I've taken an appetite enhancer before..." Peter said. "It didn't work out very well."

As if he could forget just a couple months ago when Steve had gotten them for him. That obnoxious orange pill that he had to forcefully shove down his throat before dinner. He felt fine at first, he actually felt hungry. And then when he woke up the next morning, he felt a little sick. And then in the afternoon, he was hunched over the toilet seat, practically emptying out his organs into the toilet.

"It will be a trial and error." She said. "If this doesn't work, we can find something else that works for you."

The brunettes stomach dropped when the next words left his mouth. "And the side effects?" He asked.

"Nothing unmanageable." She gave a small chuckle. "Don't worry, it won't take too long for your body to get used to the medication."

"How long will that take? " Peter asked, but he was ignored. She had already turned her attention back to his father.

"I have the information you requested about the group therapy." She said while going though some other papers on her desk before she pulled out a brochure and handed it to Tony.

"Could I... not go?" Peter spoke up, hoping that at least his dad would hear him.

Tony didn't even look up at his son as he was looking through the brochure in his hands. "Why would you not want to go, Peter?" He asked. Having Peter attend these sessions would help him recover from what he was currently going through. And, it would allow him to get some free time out of the house without seeing _him._ Peter would be out doing something productive that's helping him better himself. He wouldn't be out wasting his time with someone who is just using him.

Tony internally sighed.

Only if Peter could see this situation the way he did.

Everything would be so much easier.

The brunette Internally cringed at the thought. Talking to a bunch of strangers about his personal problems would always make him feel uncomfortable. Especially the people that always seem to overshare. Of course, Peter knew that in therapy people should talk about their problems, but no one needed to know if you enjoyed rubbing yourself with avocados for a stress reliever. And not to mention the extremely annoying happy themes about "having hope and faith" that the Lord will guide them. The only thing they needed was to pray, smile, and try to be happy and then all of their problems would go away.

"Reasons..." He said.

"Peter..." Kafka said, turning her attention him. "There's no shame in this. You don't need to be embarrassed."

"I'm not,"

"This is an excellent opportunity, Peter. This can help you find your safety net with other people." She explained gently. "You’ll gradually get out of your comfort zone and increase your communication skills. You can give support while receiving it, and you can relate to other people in healthier ways."

"This is an great opportunity, Pete." Tony chimed in.

The brunette recognized that voice.

It was, _'The decision was already made for you and it would be easier if you just cooperated.'_ voice.

But Peter didn't really care if the decision was already made for him. He seriously didn't want to go. And he wanted to make sure his dad and the psychiatrist knew that.

"I think I would rather take the pills fifteen times over." He said.

" _Peter,_ " Tony said, his voice sharp.

She looked at him and rose one of her eyebrows in confusion, shaking her head. Her lips twitched in the slightest manner, confused on how to form her next words or what to say. "But... you would die, wouldn't you?" She asked.

_'That's the plan.'_

"I know," Peter replied with a sarcastic smile resting on his lips. "That's the point."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

Eventually, Peter's body did get used to the medication and most of the side effects went away.

But that wasn't the case for the past few days after the visit.

He went to see his psychiatrist on a Friday evening. And it turns out that the following Monday and Tuesday were teacher work days, so there was no school. That made Peter feel a tiny bit of joy. If the side effects were terrible and he felt like garbage after Saturday and Sunday, at least he wouldn't miss too many school days.

His parents had him start his medication on Saturday. He started his day with his first pill of the appetite enhancer before breakfast. It increased his appetite like it was supposed to, but he was waiting for something bad to happen. When it was time for breakfast, Tony and Steve gave him his antidepressants to take as Peter along with his anti cancer pills.

The morning was pretty good if Peter were being honest. He was actually able to stomach food, which was a good thing. Considering the past couple of weeks, he hadn't even been in the mood for eating anything. And in the afternoon, Peter repeated his same medication cycle. Luckily, he still felt alright. By the early evening, the brunette felt a little drowsier than he thought he would. But, it wasn't as bad as it could've been. He again, repeated his medication cycle as he ate his meal with his parents.

Later in the night, the drowsiness consumed his body and took over what little energy he had left. He was dead asleep before nine PM.

When he woke up the next morning, he had a killer headache. Like a hammer was constantly bashing his head in with the rate of his heartbeat. It was hard to keep his eyes open, along with the lights that were hurting him even more. The planets were still weighing down his eyes and he could barely get out of bed. All of his limbs felt too weak. All he really wanted was to go back to sleep and hope that a few more hours of rest would help him regain his strength, but that was hard with Tony coming into his room and forcing him to take his medication and eat some breakfast.

Begrudgingly, Peter did.

Dizziness, headaches, blurriness, and drowsiness were Peter's week. It was just eating, taking medication, and sleeping. (In that particular order)

The only time he really moved was for hygiene in the bathroom. After that, it was right back to the comfort of his blankets.

It wasn't until Thursday when he was finally feeling somewhat better. His headache went away as the dizziness faded away into nothing. He was still a little bit tired, but he had more strength so It was much easier to get out of bed.

Life became a little bit easier. His parents didn't have to worry about his appetite that much because he was actually eating meals like a teenager should. And he also wasn't sleeping as much as he used to with the sleeping pills. His normal sleeping schedule returned as his energy levels increased.

Peter could tell that his parents were happy with this... but the brunette wasn't.

He didn't want to look at the negative sides of things but it was hard not to.

None of this was actually real.

Yes, he was eating more, his sleeping schedule was back on track, and his emotions were stable, but it wasn't real.

It was all induced by a bunch of chemicals.

Once he was off of them, he would go back to the way he was before.

Not eating.

Barely sleeping.

Less emotionally stable.

He wouldn't be the version of himself where his parents actually seemed happy to see him.

He would go back to the one that they frowned at, too often for Peter to count. The one that they worried about too often, or the one that they felt bad for.

The way he was before.

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

After most of Peter's side effects went away and he was feeling much better, he was actually a little glad to be heading back to school. Sure he wasn't excited to get his daily dose of torture from Flash and his friends, but it would be nice to see Gwen and Wade again.

He hadn't talked to them in over a week because he didn't have his phone. And every time he asked his Dad about it or how long he would be grounded, Tony wouldn't give him a direct answer. He would tip toe around the question, delaying his answer or changing the subject completely.

Peter often wondered if Wade or Gwen noticed that he was gone?

What if they had thought that he had died which was why he was missing for the past couple days?

_~~Wouldn't make a difference on how he felt inside~~.  _

He wasn't going to complain too much though, he has felt much worse before.

Like when he was ten, essentially on his deathbed. Unable to breathe on his own without the Ventilator painfully pushing air in and out of his lungs. And his liver, barely hanging on from having half of it removed. The cancer wasn't backing down and there were tumors on the surface of his already weak lungs and liver.

Given only a couple weeks if he was lucky enough with his condition.

The pain of his body breaking down a little more and more wasn't as bad as the emotional guilt he felt when he asked his parents the one question they hoped they would never hear.

The one question that was always a flat out, _'No'_ whenever the doctors asked.

Assisted suicide.

When Peter barely mustered enough strength to ask them about it, The look on their faces... he could never forget it no matter how hard he tried to. And he has regretted asking them ever since.

At this point in his life, he wasn't sure if his parents made the right decision of not taking him off of treatment when they had the chance.

_"Earth to Peter? Hello?"_

"Huh?" Peter said, turning his head towards his father. "What? I'm sorry I was-"

"What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing." He shook his head. Tony didn't like it when he talked about... _that_ stuff.

"Okay..." Tony murmured, turning his head towards the road. "Well, before you spaced out on me, I was talking to you about the session you have tomorrow?"

"Session?" Peter asked. "What session?"

Tony internally rolled his eyes. Peter could be so clueless sometimes. How did he possibly forget about it in less than a week? "Therapy at the church, remember?"

"Oh," Peter muttered to himself as he sunk further into the passenger seat. "That."

"Your father and I aren't trying to hurt you,” Tony explained, trying his best to keep his voice level. He was running out of patience and it wasn't even ten AM yet. It wasn't Peter's fault, of course, it was his own. He hadn't had any alcohol to drink this morning. Usually, he didn't drink so early, but now, it had been harder to control his urges. But it was fine, he could stop anytime he wanted to. He wouldn't let alcohol control his life it again, it wouldn't.

This was just a one-time thing.

He finished his entire stash the night before, accidentally. He couldn't fall asleep and he was... stressed... One sip turned into one drink and the next drink turned into an entire bottle. "Why haven't you realized that we’re only trying to help you be happy again. Who knows, maybe you may make some new friends?"

"I was happy," Peter replied. "And I had a friend. But you don't even want me speaking to him..."

Stark took a long breath in as a deep sigh left his lips.

_'Keep it together.'_

_'Keep it together.'_

_'Keep it together.'_

"How many times..." He began, slowly. "Have we been over this?"

"Wade... Wilson... is not your friend and the _'happiness'_ you think you have with him... isn't real. When will you finally understand that?"

The brunette changed the subject. He really didn't want to get into an argument with his Dad this morning. He could tell that something was wrong. Now, Tony had developed a habit of going into his office with bags in his hand for a little while before dropping him to school. Anytime he didn't have a chance to do that, Peter noticed that he was a bit more… hostile.

"I don't think I should go..." The brunette explained. He was trying his best not to say the wrong thing. "What about school? and... time management? Wouldn't the therapy sessions... I don't know... be a distraction?"

"You think this is the right thing for me, but... I know it's not..." He continued, cautiously. "I feel... like... letting me make my own decisions... and being friends with who I want to be friends with... will make me happy again."

The brunette stared at his father silently, hoping to get a neutral response, if not a semi-positive one. It was an infinite time loop of silence before Tony's bottom lip twitched the tiniest bit. He shook his head, using one of his hands to press it against his temples. It was as if Peter had a sixth sense, he felt what was coming and he was praying that it wouldn't happen. Anything but more insults or self-esteem crushing words.

Anything but those.

"Before you get mad, please let me explain-" Peter tried.

"Wade is a distraction, Peter. I was hoping you would've at least understood that by now." Tony muttered, bitterly. "Even if, You seemed to be managing your time just fine when you were out doing god knows what with him."

The brunette's face fell as he turned away from his Dad. He stared at the blur of objects passing by outside the window, trying his best to forget the words.

He couldn't.

Every single one stuck, he could never forget them.

Peter decided that it would be best if he didn't say anything else. He shouldn't try to fight this anymore.

Tony silently agreed.

Thus, neither of them spoke a single word the rest of the way.

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

"Gwen, I'm fine..."

"Are you hurt?"

"No... I was-"

"How are you feeling?" Gwen asked.

She brushed some of Peter's hair from his eyes and pressed her hand to his forehead. "Do you have a fever?"

"No-" The brunette sighed, gently removing her hand.

"Pneumonia?" She continued.

"Gwen Stacy... you sound like my Dad," Peter said. "I'm fine, I promise."

"You were gone for a week... You left me alone," She scowled the slightest. "With these _other_ people."

"I'm sorry," Peter said. "Things just... happened."

"My body was being weird... but now it is okay. It's no big deal." He shrugged.

The blonde nodded in approval. She was happy Peter was feeling better. That was great actually, but she was more worried about how he was feeling mentally. It was just as important as how he was feeling physically. Both were key components of his overall well-being. "How are you feeling now?"

"I told you, I'm okay."

"No, Peter. How are you really feeling?" She repeated. "And if I hear you say you're _'okay'_ or ' _fine'_ one more time..."

"What are you talking about?" He asked. Peter knew that he was fine. He wasn't in that much pain, he didn't cry himself to sleep last night or cry when he woke up so that was an improvement.

"You're a really bad liar."

"What? no, I'm not."

The blonde rose an eyebrow, staring down at him. "You either, A, look like you're about to murder someone in cold blood or B, you’re naturally frowning like you're constantly facing an internal dilemma."

"And..." Gwen continued on. "Whenever you lie, the bottom corner of your lip twitches just the slightest. I know because it almost looks like you’re smiling but you're not."

Peter's hands went up to his lip. "Really?" He asked, defensively.

"Yes." Gwen rolled her eyes. "Now please, tell me whats going on."

He sighed, dropping his hand to his side. "It's just my father... still not trusting Wade and me to be together. It has almost been two months since I told him... and he still doesn't want to accept him."

"Still?"

"Has anything he said about the matter changed?"

"No." He shook his head. "All he says is that I'm too young ... and that I'm not ready yet. He even said that Wade will take advantage of my body... and when he's done... he'll never look at me again."

"Your dad seriously said that to you?" Gwen asked, astonished. She knew that things hadn't necessarily been great between the two, but she didn't think that this had been going on. She remembered getting into some fights with her mom herself, but neither of them had never said anything as bad as that to each other before.

"Yeah..." The brunette murmured.

"I'm so sorry... that is really hurtful."

"Don't be." Peter smiled, looking up at Gwen.

_'I'm just used to it by now.'_

"Hopefully, something will happen that can-"

 _"Hey there, Gwen."_ A voice said. _"You look so sexy today."_

Peter and Gwen both begrudgingly turned their heads towards the left, away from the locker pods and towards the direction of the voice. They would recognize it anywhere.

Flash

He was standing only a couple feet away from them, leaning on one of the walls. He wore the usual, even though it was still pretty cold outside. A tank top that showed his gigantic muscular arms. Peter wondered if he ever got cold.

Gwen rolled her eyes as she turned back around to Peter. She had more important things to do than thinking about whatever Flash wants. Considering the other day, he kept inviting her to watch him work out in one of the school weight rooms. As if she cared about how much weights he could lift. The amount of muscle one person had, wouldn't impress her. She cared more about the character.

"You know, Pete." Gwen began, trying to shift her attention. "I think that you and your dad should-"

"Come on Blondie, don't do me dirty like that. I know you can hear me." Flash continued pestering her from behind them. His voice was closer. Instead of only a couple feet, he was a few inches behind them.

"I think that you and he could-"

"Gwen... sweetie... come on this is really important." He continued.

The blonde rolled her eyes as she glared over her shoulder at Flash. "You have thirty seconds to get to your point."

"Move, Asthma." The male blond spat as he pushed Peter away from Gwen and into one of the lockers beside them. The brunette's shoulder hit the metal with a loud bang.

Damn... and he was having a decent day too...

He groaned in pain as he brought one of his hands to hold the soon to be bruised part of his body. He knew that it would leave a mark for a while. He rubbed it slightly, shooting Flash a death glare, but keeping his mouth shut. He didn't want to start anything today anyway.

"Watch it, Eugene," Gwen said, pushing past Flash and towards her injured friend.

"Are you okay?" she asked, wrapping one of her hands around Peter's neck.

"Always." he murmured.

"Whoops, my bad." _~~Flash~~ _ Eugene said halfheartedly. "I forgot, you must need a girl to take care of you."

The look from Gwen made Eugene reconsider his choice of words.

"Gwen..." The blond began, pulling something from his back pocket. "Roses are red... donuts are the bomb..." He revealed what was behind his back as one of his hands held half of a squished donut wrapped in a sticky napkin and the other had a crumpled rose with a broken stem and then petals falling off. "Will you go with me to prom?"

Peter had to cover his mouth to keep himself from bursting out in laughter. Never in his sixteen years of existing has he ever seen that. The funniest part was how confident Eugene seemed with his proposal to take Gwen to prom. And then Gwen's facial expression after witnessing the entire thing.

She looked one hundred percent done.

"So what time should I pick you up?" Eugene asked.

"The exit is that way," Gwen said expressionlessly, pointing to the way Flash came.

"What?" He asked, looking down at the crumpled things in his hands. "Didn't you like it?"

"Did you really just ask me that?" Gwen replied.

"Come on!" Flash complained. He has had a crush on Gwen since he practically laid eyes on her. Maybe if she said agreed to go to prom with him, he could finally ask her out. They had gotten off to a rough start, but he was trying to make up for it. Girls like flowers... and he got her that. And he was going to get her chocolates, but he didn't have any money. There was no way he could ask his parents for any money, that would end as terrible as it did last time. This donut was the only sweet thing that he had and he really hoped Gwen would like this. He knew it wasn't perfect, but he was trying his best. "I got you a rose!" Eugene complained. "What more do you want from me?"

"A decent human being," Peter mumbled under his breath.

"Watch yourself, Freak." The male blond snapped. "You're lucky Gwen is here, which is here which is why I'm acting like a gentleman."

"I'm not going with you to Prom, Eugene," Gwen replied, rolling her eyes. "Is there anything else you need from me?"

The male blond felt his face turn red and the tiniest amount of tears well up inside of his eyes. He tightened his grip on the objects in his hand as he thought of something to say. All he wanted to do was spend time with her, Gwen. He would give almost anything, just for one night with her. No sex or anything. Just her, for as she is. "Would you... at least go to homecoming with me, please?"

"I-I.. umm... don't have a poem for homecoming..." Eugene stuttered. "But I can try to get you something later on."

The blonde crossed her arms. "No." She said firmly. "Go away."

Disbelief practically washed over Eugene. He wasn't used to girls saying no to him like Gwen did. It was embarrassing, to say the least, but it made him like her even more. She knew how to stand her ground. It was nice considering he was used to Liz and MJ just agreeing to almost anything he wanted them to do.

"Well, umm...If you go with me... then MJ can go with Wade... and it will be like a double date! We're all friends here, right?" He stammered sheepishly. "And then I'm throwing a party at my place... and because I'm feeling generous, your pet can come too."

"Pet?" Peter asked. The brunette had been mostly silent in this conversation considering he wasn't actually in it, but as soon as Eugene said _'Pet'_ and looked down at him...

"Did I stutter?" Eugene asked.

The female blond shook her head and rolled her eyes. "First of all, if you're asking someone to homecoming, you don't insult their friends. It's not rocket science, it's common sense."

"And second of all, I already have a date to homecoming." Gwen realized she needed a way to get Eugene to stop asking her to go with him, this was the only way. Obviously, she was lying, but it was an excuse.

"What?" Eugene and Peter said at the exact same time, turning toward her.

"Yes," Gwen spoke, in a matter of fact tone. "Right Peter?"

The brunette stared back at Gwen, completely unaware of what she was doing. He couldn't recall her telling him about her getting a date to the prom or homecoming.

"We're going together, remember?" She said, nodding her head slowly.

_'Oh.'_

"Right... right..." Peter began, slowly turning towards Eugene. "Sorry, I'm the one... y'know... taking her to umm... the homecoming and the prom."

"I'm sure you could go with Liz… she would probably be happy to take you."

The male blonde took a couple steps backward, away from the pair. "No way." He muttered. There was no way Peter was _actually_ taking Gwen to prom and homecoming. He couldn't believe it, really? People like him... like Peter... got everything they wanted. His family had more than enough money for a thousand life times. What problems could Peter possibly have? Eugene was sure that he lived in a fucking mansion house with his two loving parents that probably did everything for him and actually cared about him.

_Eugene couldn't relate to that._

Peter was so fucking privileged. And the fact that Peter could have anything in the world, but has the one thing Eugene wants... made his skin crawl. He was Tony Stark's kid for crying out loud, what is one thing that he won't be able to do or have? A future? Colleges would beg him to attend theirs and not to mention his dad owns a fucking company? Peter could just inherit it with the proper skills one day. Not to mention, he would never have to face a financial related problem in his life? He would practically get handed EVERYTHING he could ever want. He wouldn't ever have to work a single day in his life. It wasn't fair. People like him get everything they want. Every single time.

Eugene was pretty sure Peter didn't know what it was like to be evicted.

To live in a shelter for a good amount of his childhood.

And then to finally get a house again, only to eat only a meal a day because his parents couldn't afford any more food.

He was also pretty sure his father wasn't an abusive alcoholic.

It wasn't fair.

Why did people like him get all the good stuff in the world?

What about everyone else?

"Are you fucking kidding me?" The male blond retaliated. "Really?"

"You're a... you're a... you're a fag, aren't you? You don't even like girls."

Peter hadn't really given much thought into if he liked girls or not. He hadn't really been in contact with any so he didn't really have any idea on how he felt romantically around them. His only friend that was a girl was Gwen, but he didn't like her in a romantic way. So, in all honesty, he didn't know if he liked girls or not.

“Well-” Peter tried.

"Obviously, because of your parents, you must feel entitled or something to just take whatever you want even though you don't need it." Eugene scowled, turning to throw the rose and the wrapped donut into the trash. "Of course you would, why wouldn't you?"

He turned his head back towards Gwen before walking off into the opposite direction. "Go with him, I don't care." He spat. "I just want you to realize you're making a mistake by wasting your time on someone like him."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

Peter ditched the couple minutes of his last period, Calculus. The only thing planned was a unit test that he totally forgot to study for, but it seemed really easy. After being the second one finished, since Gwen was always first, he just sat in silence, practically staring up at the clock because everyone else was still working. When the end of the class was approaching, he asked to go use the bathroom. Lying, of course, he was really sneaking up the stairs to one of the empty classrooms Wade showed him.

They usually skipped the last couple minutes of their final classes so they could have some alone time together. They couldn't text, Wade definitely wasn't allowed to come over, and Peter was grounded, so this was the only amount of real time they could spend together. He hadn't seen or spoken to him in a little over a week. The brunette hadn't seen Wade in the morning either, so he was growing a little bit anxious.

He didn't realize how much he missed him.

It was nice having someone to talk to.

Wade made his life a little bit more bearable.

He was one of the only people that didn't see him as a patient. He saw him as an equal.

Someone worthy of love and affection just like anyone else.

Just like a regular person.

The brunette slowly made his way upstairs with a tiny pain in his right side. He whimpered just the slightest with each slow and elevated step he took to reach the top. He had to pause occasionally to take a couple deep breaths in, but it could always be worse. His lung didn't have a seizure so that was progress.

Once he reached the top, he traveled silently through the hallways towards the classroom, praying that Wade was there. He knew it was selfish of him to think this, but he hoped that Wade still came here for him while he was gone.

The wooden door creaked open, revealing a darkish room filled with scattered tables and chairs. The brunette didn't even have to look hard to find Wade. Once he laid eyes on him, he wasn't sure whether he should've laughed or cried.

Wade was sitting on one of the desks swinging his legs like a small child to the beat of the song playing on his phone. Peter had never heard the song before, but the lyrics were unforgettable.

**_"Umm, you're packed and you're stacked 'specially in the back Brother wanna thank your mother for a butt like that..."_ **

And during this, Wade’s attention was focused on the paper in front of him. Filled with a bunch of marks from the multi colored crayons from the box on one of the tables.

Unfortunately, it didn't take Wade that long to notice Peter standing there, watching him.

He saw Wade give his body a double take as he paused his song. A half smile grew to a side of his face as he stared up at Peter from across the room. He came to this here every day hoping to see Peter. But if he wasn't there, he found a way to amuse himself with anything he could find.

"I can go..." Peter began. "If I'm interrupting something."

"I'm not doing anything more important than you," Wade said, getting off of the desk and taking slow steps towards Peter.

The brunette made his way towards Wade, he could feel the small red forming on his cheeks. "Are you sure? You seemed _really_ interested."

When Wilson got close enough, he wrapped his arm around his boyfriend's side pulling him into his body. Wade's touch hurt, but he tried his best not to make it obvious. He wanted to enjoy this.

No pain.

No cancer.

No thoughts of his depressing life.

Just Wade.

Dozens of quick and warm kisses made their way all around Peter's face and down his neck as the small brunette laughed louder and smiled more than he had in the past week. Wade paused to get a few words out before he continued his series of kisses. "Do you want to join me?”

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

Wade and Peter sat on the ground next to each other near a large window in the classroom. They drew together for a while using Wade's box of crayons. Peter created something simple, the beach. He didn't think he was a good artist, but Wade tried to convince him that it looked amazing. When the brunette asked Wade about his masterpiece of stick figures, Wade smiled proudly and said that he drew a picture of them in the future with their eight dogs.

It was cute.

After that, they moved to a position on the ground so they could stare outside of the window in front of them. It was a nice day outside, not too cold and not too hot. It wasn't too cloudy and the sun was showing itself from beyond the clouds. The rays of sun made their way past the endless abyss of trees, illuminating the classroom with a small amount of light. The light was mostly focused on the side of Peter's face. Not that he minded that much, it was a little warm.

When the sun was shining on him, it was absolutely breathtaking. Wade watched as Peter’s illuminated brown hair and eyes became an even lighter shade, hazel like.

Wade is, and will always be eternally grateful that Peter came into his life. Most of his lonesome days were over, and the compulsions to go back to the way he was before... were slowly slipping away. The feeling he had when he was around Peter must've been happiness because he didn’t recognize it in the beginning… He was unsure of what the feeling was… he hadn’t felt it in a while.

Is this what it's like to actually enjoy life?

If his fifteen-year-old self even thought of the life he's in now, he would've laughed at himself. Him? Wade Wilson no longer sleeping around with random people? No longer going to adult parties and strip clubs? Over a year clean from alcohol and drugs? Having one person he could call his own and say the words _'I love you'_ and mean it? He would've told himself to get a grip, it would never happen.

"So, what have you been up to?" Peter asked, resting his oxygen tank on the wall beside him. It would make it easier to lay his head on Wade's shoulder that way.

Wade groaned thinking about the constant torture that was last week. MJ was constantly harassing him to take her to the Prom and homecoming. And not to mention Flash, telling him that he should take MJ while he takes Gwen and it would be like a "double date".

Yeah, right.

"Nothing much really... just trying to get Flash and MJ off of my sweet ass," Wade grumbled.

"What do you mean?" The brunette asked, looking up at Wilson. Peter knew that when that MJ liking Wade and annoyed him, but he never complained about it, even when she would caress his body. The same thing with Flash too, and his constant outbursts. If Wade was actually talking about it, it must've been something that was really bothering him.

"He keeps asking me to go to homecoming with Mary Jane... while he takes Gwen. It's something along those lines... I've learned how to tune him out."

"Oh yeah..." Peter murmured, relaxing back into Wade's body. "He came up to Gwen this morning and asked her to go with him... it didn't end very well."

"Let me guess," Wade sighed, shaking his head. "He had a crumpled rose in his pocket?"

"And half a donut."

"I told him that was a bad idea, and he didn't listen," Wilson said, disappointed. It's not like Gwen would say yes to Eugene anyway even if he didn't have that sad excuse for rose. Wade told him to calm his anger issues before he asking her, but his blond haired friend was impatient and impulsive, the usual. "Are you going?" Wade asked.

"That's funny." The brunette laughed quietly.

"I'm serious."

"Me too," Peter replied. "I can't imagine myself at a school dance."

"And... I'm not allowed to go out unless it's for school or if it's with my parents... So I can't." He sighed. He wished he could go. Obviously, he couldn't dance, but the experience would be nice. Not to mention, being out of the house for a couple hours while spending time with his only two friends? He would give almost anything for that right now.

"If your parents let you go, would you?"

"Maybe..." Peter answered. "It depends..."

"On?"

"I don't have a date yet."

Wade rose his eyebrows and looked down at the brunette staring up at him. "Am I just a cockroach to you?"

"How can I know we're going together if you haven't asked me yet?" The brunette questioned.

Stupidity washed over Wade when he realized what Peter meant. "Oh... He said. "I see what you're talking about."

"Well..." He continued, reaching over for his backpack, rummaging through for something he had been meaning to give his baby boy for a long while now. Well, since last week. But one day without Peter felt like a week, so it was a long while for Wade. "I have these for you, and I really hope you like them."

Within a couple seconds, Wade pulled two items from his backpack. Peter examined the closely. They were different styles of elastic bracelets. One was a pattern of black beads with small and flat cognac stones. The second one was a dozen tiny sea shells circling the band.

Peter stared at Wade and then down at the small gifts. He didn't know how to respond. Don't get him wrong, the brunette was grateful and he loved the bracelets... But, He felt so guilty. Wade was constantly surprising him with all of these amazing things and Peter gave him absolutely nothing in return. The brunette couldn't even spend time with Wade because of his Dad. He was always taking and giving nothing. "I..." He began. "I... why?"

"I was out and I saw these and thought of you..." Wade's voice fell as his facial expression dropped to a small frown. "Do you... not like them?"

"No, it's not that..." Peter said, reassuring Wade. He held one of his boyfriend's hands in his.  He didn't mean to ruin the nice mood they once had before and he didn't want to make Wade feel bad either. "I love them, I do... but I don't think I can accept this from you..."

"Oh."

"I... I never give you anything back ... and you're bringing me stuff... and it's not that I don't love it... I just feel terrible because I'm taking but not... giving. I'm really sorry... I-"

Wade placed his hand on Peter's cheek and gave a quick kiss to his forehead, interrupting him. Their heads touched as their eyes stared at one another's. "Let me spoil you, baby boy," Wade whispered. To him, the only thing he needed from Peter, was love. That's it. That's all he wanted, actually. "You deserve to be happy for once."

"But Wade..."

Wilson shushed him by placing a warm kiss on the brunette’s soft lips. "Please." He said. "Let me give this to you..."

Before Peter could even answer, Wade slipped both of the bracelets on his boyfriend’s left wrist. Luckily, it was a perfect fit. Wade managed to get the smallest size since he knew how small Peter's arms were, not that it was a bad thing.

"It looks beautiful on you," Wade said, bring the brunettes left hand up to his lips, delivering a small kiss.

"Thank you," Peter said quietly, smiling the tiniest bit. Maybe Wade was right. He should let himself be happy even if it were just for a few minutes. Maybe... they joy was something he deserved. "I love them..."

"So, Peter," Wade spoke up, giving light squeezes to his boyfriend's small hand in his. The carefree and happy mood returned back to their atmosphere when Wade flashed Peter that smile again. "Would you do me the honor... of being my date to the homecoming dance?"

"How could I say no?" The brunette replied.

"I need you to say the word, yes." Wilson insisted.

Peter looked up at him, confused. "What?"

"Personal satisfaction," Wilson admitted. "My ego needs it."

The brunette playfully rolled his eyes and shook his head before returning eye contact with Wade. "Yes," He answered.

"Could you... could you...say it again? Please?"

"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes..." Peter mouthed on.

"And did I mention... yes?"

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

When Peter came home later that afternoon, he went straight to his room. There wasn't much talking between him and his dad during the car ride home. Peter knew that he was better off staying silent, he didn't want to upset his father even more than he did this morning. Once he was alone, started on his homework. Unfortunately, It took him longer than he thought It would because he couldn't concentrate very well.

First, his encounter with Flash, or should he say, Eugene, really ruined his morning. He said the all too familiar quote that MJ said to him earlier in the school year when they first met. It was when Gwen asked her about having him come to Wade's party.

_________________________________________________

_"Someone like him wouldn't want to come."_

_________________________________________________

And then, what Eugene said to him this morning...

__________________________________________________

_"I just want you to realize you're making a mistake by wasting your time on someone like him."_

__________________________________________________

What did the phrase, _'someone like him'_ even mean? Peter was seriously confused on the purpose of the phrase. Was it because of the way he looked? Was it the nasal cannula? That was out of his control. If Peter could chose not to have it, he wouldn’t. But, the idea of him surviving without the supplemental oxygen... was unheard of. There was no way he could continue to live without the extra help. He only had one lung, and some of it was scar tissue. It could barely do it's job, but it was trying it's best.  All of the stares and the questions on a daily basis were exhausting... If he didn't have this cannula and the tank with him, he would at least... look like everyone else.

Or... did they say the phrase _'someone like him'_ because of his parents?

Was it because he had two Dads it was a problem?

_'Someone like him?'_

So... by _'someone'_ they assumed... a gay person?

Obviously, Peter knew he was, but he never told anyone.

They all just guessed he was because his parents were.

The thing that he didn't understand was...  why it mattered to them of all people.

When Peter thought about this for too long, it was a little scary. He thought about how alone everyone on the planet really was. We all live on a floating rock in the abyss of space with no real proof of existence from other lifeforms.

We are all so very alone.

So the only thing we really have is each other.

If one person or a group of people were trying to be happy, why won't other people just let them? If they weren't hurting anyone or anything, why does it matter to other people how they live their life and find their own source of joy on this god forsaken floating space rock?

Why did he have to get labeled as a _'homosexual'_ ? or a _'fag'_?

Why was he sometimes referred to as, _'Someone like him?'_

He had a name, didn't he?

And why does it matter so much if someone that is a girl likes a girl or someone that's a guy like a guy?

Peter knew that the one basic human need was love. It sounded cliche, but it was so fucking true. Nobody wants to grow up alone, with no one they can rely on and spend the rest of their days with.

Everyone must have wanted someone.

And in this cruel cruel world filled with pestilence, famine, war, and so much death... if you could find someone who would love and appreciate you for who you are...

Why the hell does it matter what their gender is?

After hours of attempting to get some of his homework done, Peter's father came into his room and told him that dinner was ready.

And that's where the scrawny brunette was now.

Sitting across the table from his father, Tony.

Steve was working late.

_~~He had been doing that a lot recently.~~   _

"You've barely touched your food," Tony said, taking a sip of his glass of wine.

The brunette looked up to meet his father's gaze. He quickly put his head back down. "Oh... umm... sorry." He murmured quietly.

"What's on your mind?"

_'Wade asked me to homecoming... and I don't think I can go because I'm not allowed to go out anymore. I mean, I kinda wanna go because it would be my first school dance... but I can't dance... and I would probably end up embarrassing myself.'_

_'And not to mention there's also someone else that wants to take him too... and I think that she's better than me in every single way. She and this guy named Eugene want Wade to go with her... and I feel scared because what if Wade does go with her? What if he takes her instead of me?'_

_'And I can't tell Wade who he can and can't go with because if I'm unable to go with him... he shouldn't have to go alone because of me constantly weighing him down... I only want him to be happy and have a good time, even if it's not with me...'_

"Nothing," Peter said, shaking his head. "It doesn't really matter."

"You're thinking about something..." Tony said, scanning his son. Whenever something was wrong, Peter always had his head down and shoulders slouched. He would either tap his fingers on something, or he would be extremely quiet, more than usual. "And it's bothering you."

"It's fine, Dad."

Tony placed his fifth glass of wine today down on the table, giving his full attention to his son. "It matters to me, Peter. You know you can tell me anything on your mind." He said.

The brunette sighed as he gave it some thought. Tony seemed semi-calm now. He didn't seem as hostile as he was this morning... maybe they could have a real conversation tonight. If Peter could actually speak to his dad, maybe they would be one step closer to repairing their relationship and finally accepting Wade.

"Peter."

_'It's okay... it's okay... just say it.'_

"Wade asked me to homecoming." The brunette blurted, looking up at his dad. He kept his eyes focused on him, paying attention to the small details indicating any changes in his mood. Tony's face hardened.

That was not a good sign.

"And... what was your response?" His father asked, his voice was frigid. He crossed his arms over his chest as his eyes were cold, staring down at Peter from his seat. Tony was waiting for it, for his son's response. If he actually agreed to go after everything that has happened...

"I said that I didn't know..."

"What do you mean, you don't know?" Tony demanded. the rage in his voice was gradually going upwards. Peter could feel it building. "Why didn't you say no?"

"Because..." The brunette said, uncomfortably. Talking to Tony was difficult, anyone one word could set him off. He had been doing that a lot recently, and he was trying his best not to anger Tony even more. The brunette felt that if he said the correct words, his father would be less mad at him. "I don't know... if I can or can't go."

"How can you be so sure you're going if you didn't ask me?"

"I never said I was going..." Peter replied, defensively. "And I was going to ask you... I just didn't know when."

The brunette watched his father’s body language to see if he could notice any more changes. All his father did was look down at him in silence before shaking his head and looking away towards the right.

Tony couldn't understand...

Why was it so hard for Peter to follow these simple instructions?

He didn't want his son with Wade, period.

How could he be any more clear?

"Well then," Stark said, turning back towards his son. "I'm pleased that you've shown me so much respect by asking me first. But I know that you're smart enough to know the answer."

"But... why Dad?" Peter asked. His whole mood plummeted with his dad's answer. Why did he already say _'no'_ when he hadn't even given Peter a chance to explain himself first?

"Because _I_ said so." Tony's voice rose bitterly with more hostility as he reached for his wine glass.

The brunette knew he had to try to stand his ground. He had to make his dad listen to him for once... he had to get his point across. "The only places I've been in the last couple weeks are school and home..." Peter said. "I don't understand why I can't have one night out."

"It's only for a couple of hours..." He continued. " I'll still be home by my curfew."

"And if you want, I could even-"

His sentence was interrupted when Tony rolled his eyes let out a loud combination of a groan and a sign. He got up from his seat and walked towards the kitchen sink. "Do you seriously think that him asking you to homecoming is a grand declaration of his love?" He asked, sarcastically.

"He'll take anyone who seems desperate enough."

Peter turned his head away from his dad and down towards his lap. Maybe his dad was right. Maybe he was coming off desperate? And Wade was only asking him to make him feel better about himself?

_'No.'_

_'Don't think like that.'_

_'Wade isn't like that... and you know he's not.'_

"Peter, you're too young to understand this now..." Tony said, his voice a little softer, but still aggressive. "But one day you will."

"What are you trying to get me to understand, Dad?"

Peter noticed Tony's bottom lip twitched as he turned his attention from opening one of the cabinets towards his son. The brunette immediately regretted his words when his dad narrowed his eyes at him. If anything, he felt smaller than ever... but it was too late to take the words back. "Are you _really_ asking me this, Peter?"

_'If you don't speak up, no one is going to take you seriously.'_

_'Use your words.'_

The brunette took a deep breath in to calm his anxiety as he turned his body to face the kitchen. "Dad..." He began, looking up. "I understand your worry or concern... but Wade is a good person. I don't understand the mistrust you have about him."

"He doesn't drink any alcohol or does any drugs."

"He pays attention to his academics..."

"And, he now has plans for the future."

"He doesn't hurt me or... force me to do anything I'm not comfortable with. He actually respects me and my privacy. Wade... is very important to me and I really care about him... I thought you would be happy for me?"

Peter was hoping that his father would calm down, but instead, Tony shook his head, _again_ , and muttered something under his breath. After he took out the unopened wine bottle, he closed the cabinet a little louder than he needed to. The small brunette flinched at the sound, but he still tried to keep his calm composure. "How many times... do I need to explain this simple concept to you?"

Stark placed the wine bottle on the counter as he covered his face with his hands, letting out a deep and impatient breath. He was trying his best to not snap at Peter if he hasn't already. Why wasn't Peter understanding that this was for his own safety? If his son got hurt, Tony knew it would be all his fault. He didn't need another thing from his conscious haunting him.

Tony turned around and dropped his hands away from his head. "He is simply manipulating you, and you're sitting here, letting it happen." He said quietly and slowly, trying his best to keep his voice leveled. "All of the _'good'_ qualities you listed off for Wade are things that he is doing to better himself."

"His _'goals'_ and _'ambitions'_ are not about you, Peter. He doesn't care about you as much as you want him to."

"The reason why I'm trying to keep you away from him is that I'm trying to save you from him." Tony continued. "It's my job to take care of you... and If you get hurt again, it's on me."

"Wade, he doesn't love you the way you think he does...He isn't capable of caring about you like Steve and I have. He won't be able to-"

"Dad, nothing is going t-"

" _Don't_ interrupt me," Tony said sharply.

Peter sunk inside of his chair. All the confidence he once had, vanished. He made Tony angry again, accidentally. He didn't know what he said that was making his dad so upset. All he wanted was to be taken seriously so his dad would actually listen to him like they were equals. "I'm sorry." Whispered the brunette.

Tony grabbed the full wine bottle off of the counter and made his way towards the kitchen's exit. "You're growing up too fast... you're rushing into things... What exactly are you trying to prove?"

"You're so young, Peter. And then one day, you're going to leave with Wade... What are Steve and I going to do if you go missing? Or if something happens?" Stark sighed. All he wanted was for Peter to be okay. He doesn’t want to see his son in pain, all Tony wants is to stop something from happening again and the only way to do that is by preventing it before it does.

Peter dropped his head and stared downwards. He didn't really know what he was doing anymore. What was the point of trying to talk to his dad about this anymore? His mind was set.

He was probably never going to trust Wade.

Tony walked towards Peter and kneeled in front of him. He freed his hands by placing the wine bottle on the ground next to him. He put both of his hand on Peter's shoulders gently, trying to see his son’s face even though it was downcast.

"Pete..." Tony whispered gently. "Look at me..."

The brunette silently looked up at his dad with tired eyes and a small frown plastered on his face.

Tony was happy that at least he didn't make his son cry again.

"You know..." He began "I only want you to be happy, you know that."

"I am happy with-"

Stark shook his head. "No, Pete... You're not happy."

"Everyday, I can see the pain in your eyes." He knew that this relationship that Peter had was causing all of these problems. If his son and that Wade kid were never dating, none of this would've happened. They could all go back to normal if Peter breaks his ties with Wade. Him, Peter, and Steve could pretend none of this ever happened.

"I'm always here when you need me to be... I always do what you ask. For my entire life, you have made every single decision for me..." The brunette whispered sadly. "All I want to to make one by myself."

"But this isn't a simple black and white decision... this is an obvious mistake... you and I both know it, Don't we?"

 

"This is a mistake, right Pete?" Tony asked.

"I don't... I don't know..." Stuttered Peter. Was this entire thing a mistake? If he stopped dating Wade... his dad would be happier... there would be less tension... Steve would spend more time at home than at work... everything would be back to normal.

Stark's voice softened as he put one of his hands on Peter's chest. "Deep down, under that big heart of yours, you know that it is. You're choosing wrong."

"You know I don't want anything terrible to happen to you." Peter's father reassured him.  "All of this... is for your own good."

The brunette looked up at his dad and shook his head the slightest. "But... I trust Wade. I know he won't hurt me."

 

"No, you shouldn't, kiddo." After knowing Wade for a couple of months, there's no way Peter could put so much faith into him. There was no real way to find out his motives this early. And it would be better for Peter to leave now before he finds out the hard way. "You've only known him for a short while now... there's no way you both could've built trust that easily."

"But Pa said-"

Tony interrupted his son softly, trying his best to remain cool and calm. "Steve isn't here, Peter. This is what I'm saying."

"We both know you're not ready for the aftermath of this. Steve and I wouldn't be able to bear the thought that if something happened, we could've stopped it. Remember, it's for your own safety. I would never put you in harm's way." Tony let out a small chuckle before he spoke his next words. "My soul existence is to take you out of it... and make sure that you're always okay."

 

"You know how important you are to me. Your safety is all that matters."

 

"I know, but-" The brunette tried.

 

"There are no _'buts'_ when it comes to your life." Tony interrupted, his voice a little more firm than before.

Stark rubbed the long single tube of Peter's nasal cannula between his two fingers. "You're so fragile, Kiddo. Anything could happen..."

 

"Peter?" Tony asked. He was glad that now he was finally getting his point across. Peter was no longer arguing with him. His son just sat silently and listened, the way that it is supposed to be. Maybe now Peter was finally getting the idea of why he didn't want him seeing Wade anymore.

 

"Yes, Dad?" Peter answered.

 

Now, Tony knew that there was only one last thing to say to close this case. "Don't _ever_ ask to go out with Wade, again. Do you understand?" His voice came out cold, lacking all empathy that it possessed from just a couple seconds ago.

 

When Peter opened his mouth to say something else, Tony cocked his head to the side and frowned at him. The brunette realized there was no point in trying to fight this. Maybe his dad was right anyway. He was fragile, whether he wanted to admit it or not. And in a tight and cramped place like homecoming, it probably wasn't a good idea anyway. Something inevitable always happens no matter what. He wouldn't want to be embarrassed by the ambulance coming to save him from his own body.

"Yes, Dad," Peter nodded obediently. "I understand."

Tony's hand cupped the side of Peter's face and pulled his son closer to him. He placed a small kiss on his son's forehead. "You know I love you, right?" Stark whispered. "I would give you the sun and the moon if I could... You're my everything, kiddo. I love you so much."

 

"I love you more."

 

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

The quiet chatter of the radio drowning out the mostly silent hum of the car's engine was the only noise filling up the atmosphere.

Today was the first day of Peter's therapy session.

Peter pleaded for a couple days, begging his father not to take him, but that didn't work out very well. Tony insisted because he felt that this would be 'A perfect opportunity for him to learn and grow as a more social and successful individual.'

The car had pulled up into a small space in the mostly empty parking lot of the church. It was only about a thirty-minute drive from his home, but it felt quicker than that because Peter was dreading it so much.

He really didn't want to do this.

"We're here," Tony said, removing his hand from of the steering wheel.

"Yeah." Peter murmured, fiddling with his oxygen tank that he was sharing his seat with.

Seconds of silence passed by before Tony spoke up, turning towards his son. "Do you need me to hold your hand and walk you inside?" He asked. The sarcasm was too obvious.

"No, of course not," Peter replied, shaking his head. He sighed as he unlocked the door and stepped out of it. "Bye, Dad. See you later."

All Tony did was nod.

Before the brunette even made it through the glass doors of the church, he heard his dad's voice from the car behind him. "Don't forget to make some real friends!"

_'Unlikely.'_

When Peter walked inside, the air made him curl up into his jacket even more. He remembered this place was freezing most of the time, but never this much.

Strange.

He zipped up his jacket and continued walking forward, he hadn't been to this place in four years, he had forgotten almost everything about this small church. After all, he came due to the whole support group from the whole 'Skip' situation... and he wanted to forget a lot of everything during that time of his life.

This church included.

Peter looked around hoping to see some signs so they could direct him on where to go. It wasn't until he was walking around for a couple minutes he saw a couple signs surrounding him. As he walked closer towards them, he realized that he couldn't read them at all. All of the letters looked distorted. Peter couldn't understand them... maybe they were in another language?

Even more strange.

There were three signs pointing in three different directions for their destination. Peter guess that he should take the one in the middle. After all, if he was late, it wouldn't really matter anyway.

After walking straight for a couple of seconds, he finally saw it.

_'The circle of healing'_

He was actually disappointed he picked the right sign.

If there was one thing Peter hated, it was talking about his problems. If there was something he hated, even more, it was talking to _strangers_ about his problems. He could not put into words how uncomfortable he felt when he had to sit in a circle filled with a bunch of people he didn't even know to introduce himself and then share personal details about his life.

He would've rather done an individual session, sure it was still something he was still pretty hesitant of, but it was way better group therapy.

Instead of Peter going into the small room, he decided to do something else. He wanted to go straight to the men's bathroom. He just needed a few moments to collect himself anyway. He wasn't ready for all of the questions or the stupid excuses on how he should learn to accept that all the bad things in his life were supposed to happen.

_'God did this for a reason.'_

_"You may not understand it, but this was God's will."_

_"The Lord will never give you more than you can handle."_

The brunette turned his attention towards the bathroom on the left. His vans padded on the tile floor as he kept his head down. Maybe if he had enough dedication, he could hide out inside of the bathrooms here until the session was over. After all, it's not like they took attendance or anything. Anyone could show up whenever they wanted to.

He wished that at least he could have one person with him to make everything less awkward. It would make his day if Wade were here with him right now. But then again, he would feel guilty if he put Wade through this hour long torture-

The small brunette had a breath knocked out of him when he accidentally bumped into someone. He was flat against their hard chest before he took a couple steps back, trying to resume his peaceful bubble of personal space.

Peter was about to murmur an apology but he looked up first at this person before he did. And when he looked at them everything around him stopped.

He couldn't hear his heart beating in his chest.

He didn't know if he was breathing.

His body was paralyzed in place.

All of the _'strength'_ he built, all of the reassuring words on how he would never see _him_ again or how he would never get hurt by people like _him_ became non-existent.

_Lies_

_Lies_

_Lies_

All of the protection he thought he once had was now gone.

He hadn't felt this vulnerable in four years.

Waves of fear and self-loathing washed over him. Drowning him under a deep and dark sea of hopelessness. With each second that passed, He was overwhelmed with a crushing, indescribable amount pressure. His chest couldn't fully expand, it seemed too exhausting because he thought he was breathing too fast? Or maybe he was about to pass out? he couldn't tell. The room was spinning his eyes were blurring, he didn't know if this was real... was it?  He was so close to escaping the icy dark ocean of fear, pain, and tears that _he_ snuffed him under. Forcing him to drown in for years.

He thought that after his years of suffering, he was finally done with all the fucking hell that he was put through. So close to breaking free.

That his head was gradually lifting from the water as he was slowly becoming less afraid of people again.

But no, the universe didn't want him to be happy.

It was as if there was now a ginormous arm, tightly wrapped around his waist, pulling him back under.

He would recognize those green eyes anywhere.

The pastel blonde hair.

And that smile.

_Westcott_

Peter hadn't seen that face staring down at him in years, only in his nightmares.

Small footsteps were taken backward, but it wasn't far enough. All of the memories... the touches... the cries and the pleads came back to him. He started remembering things he thought he had forgotten. Every single terrible moment was eating away at him from the inside because they were back now, they were free to take advantage of his thoughts once again.

He looked up at him in horror, as the older man stared down at him with... humor.

"Peter?" He grinned slyly. "Is it really you?"

The brunette tried to speak, but he opened his mouth and nothing came out. It was impossible to form any words. All he did was stare upward with a paralyzing fright. He didn't even want to imagine how pathetic he looked in this moment.

"I didn't think I would be seeing you again so soon, Einstein."

Peter wasn't one to believe in a god or a higher deity. He wasn't religious. But in this moment in his life, he was internally praying that anyone or anything was listening. He was begging that this whole moment was a fucking a dream that he would wake up from.

_'Wake up...'_

_'Wake up... Please...'_

He watched as Westcott turned his head looking around for anyone else in sight.

No one was seen.

"Still not much of a talker, are you?" He asked, taking a few steps closer. His eyes went up and down, scanning the younger kid with an unsettling amount of lust.

"You never... you never..." Peter stuttered out. "You never even said sorry for what you did to me." He could feel the lump begin to form as it sent fire down his throat. His eyes began to water as slow tears fell down his cheeks. It took so much self-control to not break down and cry in a ball on the ground.

"Why would I ever apologize for a consensual situation?" Westcott asked, trying to wrap one of his arms around Peter's trembling body. "Come on Einstein... you were asking for it. And you enjoyed it, didn't you?"

Peter jerked his body away from the poisonous touch. He felt disgusting just by having Westcott look at him in the same way he did four years ago. "I-I... was just a kid... and you dragged me into your prevented mess!"

"You... you brainwashed me... you manipulated me... don't you realize what you did was wrong? I was so messed up... and I had so many issues because of you."

"You ruined my childhood... you ruined my life! Do you realize that?"

"You lied to me... and you used my body... You're so selfish." Peter screamed. The tears were pouring down his cheeks now. It was hard not to push Westcott away from him or punch his face... but he didn't want to touch him... so he had to keep himself under control.

"I couldn't... I couldn't even fucking sleep in peace... I cried myself... myself to sleep every single night... do you know how badly... I just wanted to die? you disgusting selfish prick!"

The brunette wiped the tears from his eyes as he paused for a little while to calm his breathing. "You would touch me and take my... clothes off... I trusted you... I used to look up to you... why? how could you do this to me?"

"I was... just a kid..." Peter whispered, sniffling. As a twelve-year-old, how could any human do that to a kid? It was degrading and disgusting. For a while, he was confused on if his worthless body even belonged to him anymore.

Westcott cocked an eyebrow and a half smile. "I never forced you to do anything, Einstein."

"It was all you..."

"Don't you remember all the fun we had? It was mutual, you gave me your consent, remember?"

"You know as well as I do that time when you got on your knees for me and-"

Peter could feel the bile start to come up from his stomach with the words that just left Westcott's mouth. It brought back the most horrific memory that he had experienced in his entire life. It stopped him from eating certain foods, dentist visits were hell, and even to this day, he still didn't see his mouth the same. "No... no..." He whispered. "Shut up... don't... just please... shut up."

"And then I took my pants off... and you eagerly brought your mouth to my-"

He wished someone could kick him out of his mind, he hated all of these thought that he couldn't deny. All of them belonged to him... he did that terrible thing. Peter knew that the memory would always stay with him… luckily,  it had been easier to suppress it most days but Westcott was here... and he was talking about it like it didn't matter at all. Like it was a huge game to that stupid bastard.

Now it was completely vivid in Peter’s mind.

The sight from looking up at Westcott from his knees...

The smell...

The taste...

And as if he could ever forget the feeling of _it_ sliding through the inside of his mouth... from the very back of his throat to the tip of his lips... or the feeling of the substance that came out of _it_... slowly filling up his mouth and then dripping from the corners of his chin, onto his bedroom floor.

He couldn't deal with this anymore...

He knew he had to leave...

The room was closing in on him...

It was getting hard to breathe...

He was the scared twelve-year-old kid again...

Peter turned in the opposite direction as he tried his best to leave but two large arms wrapped themselves around his waist and pulled him back into the larger body behind him.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Peter screamed. His heart jumped in his chest as the adrenaline raced through his bloodstream. "PLEASE!" This was too much... he was pressed up against Westcott's body again after so many years of being apart... His stomach churned with the bile from before and his muscles spazzed, trying their best to get out of the grip.  "NO!" He was yelling and pushing, trying to get himself out of this situation, but there was no use. The hold seemed to be getting stronger the more he fought against it.

Westcott grabbed a chunk of Peter's hair and yanked his head backward so that his mouth was right by the brunette's ear. "Stop fighting me, Peter." Westcott snapped. "Why can't you realize that I was only trying to help you? We both know that no one could love you like I can... We have an unbreakable bond, remember?"

"Please... please don't do this..." The brunette whispered tearfully, shaking his head. "Please... don't... I'll do anything... but please... just let go of me..."

"I'm not going to hurt you, Einstein..." Skip whispered. When his warm breath went down Peter's neck, it made his body tense with fear. These were all too familiar feelings that Peter thought he had forgotten.

Then, Westcott started dragging Peter backward into the bathroom.

And no one was stopping him from doing so.

"STOP IT! NO! PLEASE DON'T!" The brunette was screaming as loud as he could, even though it pained him to. He had to try. He was praying that someone could help him, anyone. "NO! PLEASE LET GO OF-" One of Westcott's hands slapped itself into Peter's mouth, silencing his screams. The brunette was trying to get himself out of Westcott's grip by kicking and squirming, but he was failing, badly.

Just like he did before.

He even sunk his fingernails into the flesh of Skip's skin, hoping that if he inflicted enough pain on the other male's body, he would let go.

He didn’t.

Peter was scratching Westcott with everything he had. The other males blood eventually coated Peter's hands as the liquid oozed from the wounds. Even the remnants of Skip's skin started filling up underneath his fingernails, but nothing changed.

 

Westcott still had complete control over the brunette.

Peter shook his head, begging through his muffled sobs for Westcott to let him go, but he didn't. He was kicking and fidgeting until he was practically out of breath, but he wasn't strong enough to be free. He was growing weaker and weaker with each second that passed because he was running out of breath... he was running out of energy...

Just like before.

Skip used the hand on Peter's mouth to jerk his head to the side. He put his lips to the brunette's neck and laid small kisses downwards on each of his beautiful birthmarks. Then, he trailed his tongue upwards, slowly, caressing Peter's tear stained skin with it. When he smoothly came to a halt, he stopped below the teen's ear. "Now that you're a little older..." Westcott whispered. "How about we go into the bathroom... and we try something new?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) how does Peter not realize what Tony is subconsciously doing to him
> 
> 2) "Peek- a - boo, someone might die soon." lol i wonder where steve is... 
> 
> 3) I feel kinda bad for eugene, js
> 
> 4) skip is so nasty omg... he freaking licked peter's neck ugh what a snake 
> 
> 5) hopefully Peter never sees how bad tony can get when he has too much alcohol... 
> 
> 6) wAdE!1!1!!
> 
> 7) man I love y'all, you guys are the best ❤️


	16. Tony Stark?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> she gave me an essay

_So I asked my friend why she hates Tony and..._

First, he's an overcontrolling parent. He wants his kid to be safe and protected but by isolating him from the world, he can't learn and grow from his decisions. And when Pete tries to make decisions for himself, Tony feels like they are the wrong choices and in turn, makes Pete think his own decisions are wrong. This makes Peter doubt his emotions and everything about himself.

Secondly, Tony manipulates Peter so that way Pete will do whatever he wants him to. Tony continually builds Peter up saying how much he loves him and he that he wants to keep him safe and then he cuts him down and smashes him saying his decisions are wrong and his friends/ boyfriend are just using him for themselves and will throw him away like trash. Thus, making Peter feel so bad about himself he starts thinking his Dad is right and that there is no way his friends really want him. Tony calls him fragile and weak and Peter believes it because he's never been called anything else. Of course Wade has complimented him, but Tony makes Peter feel like Wade is just lying and it's all apart of his "manipulation games." And these actions make Peter doubt the fact that anyone could love him except for his parents, which he then doubts, again, because everything it seems like every time he tries to make his own decisions it makes Tony mad.

Lastly, Tony takes his past mistakes out on Pete by making up reasons to keep Pete safe when in reality, it makes Pete's overall wellbeing worse. It makes him feel even more worthless because he knows that his father is doing this because he doesn't think Pete can do anything by himself. And for the therapy thing, Tony should give him options and then let him pick the one he is most comfortable with because Peter already knows he had no real choice in the matter on if he goes or not. Tony could've at least given him options outside of group therapy because he can clearly see how much Peter doesn't want to go to group therapy. But does he care?

No.

He isn't taking Pete's feelings into account and is just taking control of the situation because he doesn't know how to talk about his feelings. And the fact that Tony won't even consider the fact that Wade isn't bad just astounds me because he can clearly see how attached Peter is to Wade. Instead of making Peter push him away, which is emotionally hurting his son, he should try to get to know Wade and then make a more educated guess.

For being a scientist he isn't being very good at doing his research. He's just making assumptions and has no evidence that Wade is bad and just puts Westcott in his head instead of Wade. Tony can see how damaging this is for Peter and instead of being supportive he is yelling and not communicating properly with his son.

Have a conversation instead of a lecture Tony.

That might help you understand Peter's side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you guys hate Tony?


	17. As Warm As Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1) Heed the warnings.
> 
> 2) Sorry, I haven't updated in a long time haha... school kinda sucks but what's new?
> 
> 3) Hope you like this chapter!!

The last thing Steve remembered, he was sleeping.

The next, he was in Peter’s room on the floor.

Holding him in his arms while he cried.

His son's screaming woke him up.

Steve hadn't heard _that_ scream in a long time.

Peter's room was dark, but the moon from the night sky gave just enough light to illuminate his figure.

When Steve rushed in, the brunette was curled up into a defensive ball on his bed, his sheets were thrown onto the other side of the room. His hands were covering his face as his sobs shook his body. His hair was sticking to his wet forehead as his tears stained his pillow, leaving dark puddles on the fabric.

It took a while, but Steve somehow managed to convince Peter that Westcott wasn’t here.

_That what he just experienced was all a dream._

So here he was now. Peter’s arms were wrapped tightly around his torso as his head was buried in his shoulder. The cries that escaped his son’s body made Steve want to cry too, but he couldn’t. He had to stay strong. It completely destroyed him whenever he saw Peter this way, but there was nothing he could really do except staying with Peter, helping him get through it. “It’s okay, Pete,” Steve whispered. “You’ll be alright…”

He used one of his hands to hold Peter’s body as the other one rubbed his shaking backside. All Steve wanted was to take his son’s pain away, but he didn’t know how to.

“He’s not here… he’s not here.” Steve repeated.

_“I-I’m… I-’m… so s-sorry…”_

_“I… I… d-didn’t mean… mean…  to… P-Please don’t… please don’t… be mad at me.”_

_“I’m so… sorry…”_

Rogers shushed him, “You’re okay, I’m not mad and It’s not your fault.”

“I’m here, Pete… I’m here.”

“You're safe now… no one here is going to hurt you." He continued gently. “I'm right here... you are going to be okay."

"I know that you are scared... but that's alright… I'm here for you... I always will-”

That’s when he saw Tony’s dark silhouette standing in the doorway coming into the corner of his eye. He had his arms folded over his chest as he stared down at Peter and Steve. The blond looked up at him as if he already knew what he was going to say.

 _‘Don’t’_ Steve mouthed.

 _‘Told you,’_ Tony mouthed back.

Steve shot him a glare as a warning for him to stop.

But of course, Tony didn’t

 _‘I told you so.’_ He repeated.

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

Steve didn't go back to sleep that night.

He couldn't bring himself to.

What if Peter needed him again?

He hadn't seen his son screaming like that in about a year.

The blond was currently sitting at the dining room table in silence, slowly stirring his coffee with a spoon. His heavy eyelids drooped over the cup, unable to concentrate on anything other than how his family was falling apart.

And he didn't know if they were going to get back together again.

He watched the small whirlpool that the swirling of his spoon made in the black Stark Industries cup. The white cream made long and slender streaks that faded away for a few seconds but reappeared with every circle the spoon made in the beige coffee solution.

Did he even put cream in his coffee?

He couldn't remember.

"Steve," Tony spoke, removing the tired man's attention from his cup.

The blond looked up at his husband who was in the kitchen. Steve could tell that the ruffled and loose t-shirt was on Tony's small body was his, along with the loose pants that were rolled up a little bit at his feet. Stark was leaning on one of the counters with a glass containing a clear substance in his hand.

"You're awfully quiet," Stark murmured.

"What do you mean?"

"You're not talking about _it_."

"I don't want to," Steve replied quietly. He really didn't. Sometimes, these things that happened with Peter just _did_. They come and go like everything else. Steve felt like there was no need to dwell on them too much. He wanted to see the slight positives about what occurred last night. When Peter was younger, his night terrors would come on a monthly basis. But, this was the first time this has happened in about a year.

Improvement.

"Well, I do," Tony said.

Steve finally locked eyes with the dark brown ones staring down at him. "What's on your mind?" He asked. He really didn't feel like talking at the moment, he only wanted to sit in silence and reflect on everything that had happened. But, he loved Tony with everything he has so if he had something to say, he would listen, always.

"The other shoe,"

"What?" Steve asked.

"The other shoe," Stark repeated.

"I have no idea what you're talking about,"

Stark rolled his eyes, setting his glass on the counter. He folded his arms over his chest and continued to stare down at his husband. "It's happening, again."

Steve shook his head, letting out a deep sigh. "He's fine, Tony. He always is."

"This is the first time in a while... That should be considered progress." He explained slowly. "Peter will be fine, love."

"We're you half asleep when you were with him last night?" Stark sighed, rubbing his temples. He was desperately trying to get rid of the gnawing hangover threatening to suck away the little energy he had left. "Didn't you see him?"

"Yes, but-"

"And you call that fine?"

"Tony..." Rogers replied. He knew Tony was overprotective, sure, but before it had been easier to talk to him. Now, his husband wasn't even listening to him anymore. At this point,  Steve wondered if they should even continue this conversation. "We should consider this progress."

"So you're saying it's a good thing this is happening to Peter?"

"That he had a dream of Westcott moles-" Tony abruptly stopped himself when the image of Skip, naked, on top of his son slithered into his mind and flooded his thoughts. Then, It was as if this was on cue when he felt thousands of minuscule exploding pains in his left arm, trailing down to his hand. This happened often.  He quickly held his left arm in his right to keep it from trembling. Lately, Tony has been ignoring this because he knew he wasn't important at the moment. Peter was the top priority. Even if, Tony felt fine, he always was.

He closed his eyes for a few seconds, attempting to calm his breathing. He squeezed his arm, trying to ground himself back into reality. He didn't want to think about that mental image ever again.

_~~And he just wanted the pain to go away.~~   _

_'Get out.'_

_'Get out.'_

_'Go away.'_

"Tony? Are you-"

"I'm fine." He blurted.

"Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

"Yes, I understand but I'm saying that this could've been _much_ worse," Steve said. When Peter was younger and he had one of these nightmares, it was rare that he was able to go back to sleep and Peter begged for him and Tony not to touch him. But this time, Peter calmed down quicker than Steve thought he would and he voluntarily hugged him, unafraid. "This is not as big as it could be... I feel like we shouldn't treat it as such.”

"So we should just ignore it?"

"No, not completely… We shouldn't pressure him about it." Rogers explained.  "If he wants to talk about it... then we will listen. But if he doesn't, then we should not bring it up."

"He's okay Tony," Steve said.  "We don't need to worry too much."

Stark narrowed his eyes, staring at Steve in confusion with shreds of disbelief. "He's not okay!" He argued. "Have you taken a good look at him lately?

"Pete is-" But Steve stopped himself when he got a good look at Tony for the first time in a long while. Dark rings under his eyes that seemed as if they were weighing his face downwards. The smile lines that were naturally creased onto his skin were nonexistent. Instead, they were replaced with worry lines that sucked out all of the tiny amounts of joy that his husband used to show on his face. And not to mention the tremors made Tony wince in pain.

"How are you doing?" He asked Tony. And of course, he noticed that his husband had begun drinking a little bit more. Before, it was... more controlled than the way it was now. He hadn't seen his husband like this in over a decade.

Self-loathing washed over him and he drowned in his own suffocating ocean of guilt. He knew that he should've been home more often, Peter and Tony desperately needed him. He should be helping his family go through this, not leaving them to deal with this all on their own.

"I'm perfect." Tony murmured bitterly, reaching for his glass. Nothing was _really_ wrong with him. All he had were headaches every now and then.

~~_And not to mention the hangovers_ ~~

_S ~~ore muscles~~ _

~~_Dizziness_ ~~

~~_Dehydration_ ~~

~~_A form of malnourishment_ ~~

~~_and the painful tremors that made his arm shake_ ~~

"I know that drink in your hand isn't water," Steve said.

Tony huffed as he rolled his eyes. Why did it matter so much to Steve how he was doing? The conversation was mostly about Peter, not Tony. Their son was the one that needed help, not him. Why couldn't Steve just understand that? "It's sixty percent water."

"Anyway, back to the problem - “

"Peter is okay," Steve said, his voice soft. "What about you? I'm getting worried-"

"Nothing is wrong, Rogers." He snapped, the familiar and inevitable anger rising in his voice. "I am fine. Let's change the damn subject-"

"I've never seen you drink this early, hon." The blond spoke, his voice was low and quiet.

Tony's eyes squinted as he tilted his head to the left just the slightest. "And I've never seen you home this early, _sweetheart_." The tone of his voice was the complete opposite.

"I know... and I’m sorry… " Steve knew he deserved that. It would be extremely irresponsible to make excuses for his actions, but the reason why he was never home was that he felt so _alone_. He couldn’t express to Tony about how he felt, nor did he want to bring it up with Peter either. But at work, Bucky was always there. Whenever Steve needed someone to talk to or someone to actually listen, Bucky was there. His friend would help him come up with solutions to the conflict between his husband and his son.

They came up with a few ideas, now it was the time to test some of them out.

"But, I'll try harder..." He continued. "I’ll be home more often…I promise.”

“I want to help fix what's happening between all of us… I don’t want to let you and Peter down anymore…”

Stark rolled his eyes. Steve and his sappy and deep moral compass that made him feel like he was obligated to try to fix things he had no control over. "There's nothing to fix."

"When was the last time you and Peter had a real conversation?"

"Yesterday," Tony said.

"Okay…” Steve trailed off, “Let me rephrase this..."

"A conversation, not a lecture or an argument."

"And as I’ve said about fifteen seconds ago, yesterday."

The blond shook his head as he took a deep breath in. He knew that this was a touchy subject, but it couldn’t be avoided any longer. "Does… does Peter know that you've been drinking more lately?"

"Why are you bringing Peter into this?" Tony asked defensively. This the last thing Peter had any business knowing about. Not that it mattered, everything was fine. Tony told himself that he was drinking more often because of all the stress he was currently going through. Maybe he had been consuming about eight glasses a day, but he could stop if he wanted to.

He was in control of the alcohol, not the other way around.

"You… you  promised me…” Steve explained, sadly. It was hurting him that this whole ordeal was causing Tony to sink back into, what Steve called them, his dark days. He remembered how hard it was to pull Tony out of them years ago. It was straining and tiring and it even caused them to end their early relationship before they inevitably got back together. “You promised yourself ..."

“You promised Pete…”

"It is fine, Rogers.” Tony shot back. “It’s completely under control, drop it."

"I'm not trying to hurt you ... but you can’t keep on doing this... please..."

"I’m not doing anything," Tony sighed impatiently.

Screw this, he needed another drink.

Never mind, _drinks_ , plural.

"You’re drinking again," Steve said.

"I’ve always been drinking."

"But not like this... not this much... not since-"

" _Don't_ bring it up, Rogers.." Tony said, his voice sharp. "I know..." He didn’t like to talk about _that_ aspect of his life. Regret and guilt trailed up his spine whenever he started thinking about it.

Steve shifted his weight uncontrollably in his chair as he changed the subject. "You never answered my question,"

"You have many unanswered questions because of me,”

"Does Peter know?"

"No,” Tony shot back almost immediately. “And he doesn't need to. You and I both know that it would be better that way.”

" _He_ doesn't need to know what, exactly?" A voice said.

Tony and Steve turned their heads to the sound. They saw Peter standing at the bottom of the staircase, his eyes bounced off of them in skepticism.

If Tony were being honest with himself, he was surprised that Peter was able to get out of bed this morning. Whenever these dreams happened before, he wouldn’t be able to come out of his room sometimes.

"Nothing,” Tony said. “Absolutely nothing.”

“Right, Steve?”

Tony got a glare from his husband.

“Okay...” Peter murmured as he made his way to the dining room table. If his parents didn't want to tell him, it was fine. It was most likely for the best anyway. The last thing Peter wanted was to hear is his parents talking about how he obviously can't take care of himself because of how weak he was. Hell, Tony even told him how fragile he was.

He couldn't blame his father anyway, he wasn't wrong.

He took a seat across from Steve. It was silent as his parents' eyes were still pressed on him like he was going to accidentally miss a breath and completely combust.

Peter felt like he was alright.

Or at least, he thought he was.

“Umm…” Peter began, cautiously. “Good morning?”

"Now onto the  real problem..." Tony said, giving a side glance to Steve before turning his attention back to his son. "How are you _actually_ doing, Peter?"

“I’m o-”

"And do not say okay."

"I'm… fine… I guess," Peter answered. He felt… decent. He didn’t have any headaches or a migraine, each breath he took wasn't that painful, his abdomen wasn't too bad either. He only needed to be careful when he got up too quickly and…  he felt a bit tired because he couldn't go back to sleep after he had…

_‘Don’t.’_

Tony stared at his son in disbelief. "Do you really expect us to believe that after what happened last night?"

"Tony... “ Steve warned. “Stop."

"Stop?" Tony asked, turning away from Peter.  "We acted like he had everything under control and look what just happened!”

Peter sighed as the main focus of his parents’ impending argument became replaced with the white walls of the dining room. He didn't particularly enjoy being talked about in the third person.

But now that his mind was free from reality, it was free to venture deep into his subconscious and recall memories desperately trying to be repressed.

_Westcott’s hands were clammy and calloused, just like Peter remembered they were. They were gripping his waist with too much force._

_He was in pain, so much pain._

_His breath still smelled like cigarettes._

_Peter’s chest was on fire. His lung was trying so hard to keep up with his rapid and desperate movements to be free, but it was struggling, bad._

_And then Westcott’s tongue began sliding down Peter’s neck. In a slow manner that made him shiver with disgust and cry harder out in fear. He didn’t want to be touched in a manner that deemed him as more of an object than a person.  It was the moment that made Peter that realize that he would never forget any of the terrible memories._

_Westcott wasn’t going away._

_“Now that you’re a little older… how about we go into the bathroom…  and try something new?”_

_‘He’s not here.’_

_‘He’s gone.’_

_‘He can’t hurt me anymore.’_

“- right kiddo?” Tony asked.

When Tony turned back towards Peter, he noticed that his focus was on the blank wall and his left thumb was placed into the palm of his right hand, applying a circling pressuring motion.

Tony would recognize that anywhere.

It was an old anxiety technique.

“Pete?”

“Buongiorno?” He snapped his fingers.

“Sorry… I was-”

"As I’ve said before," Stark murmured, turning towards Steve.

"The other shoe."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

"Y’know, I'm really feeling like this is a one-sided conversation," Tony spoke.

“Sorry,” Peter replied.

They had been on the road for a couple minutes. Peter was more focused on the blur of the outside objects than his father. He was listening passively to what seemed like endless blabber.

"Are you okay?" Tony asked.

He sighed turning towards his hands. He placed his left thumb on his right palm, applying a circling pressuring motion.

Was he okay?

~~_No, not really._ ~~

"Yeah," Peter answered. “I’m perfect.”

Tony’s eyes glanced at his son cautiously before turning back towards the road. “Do you… do you want to talk about last nig-

“No,”

"Peter,” Tony said gently, “You know you can always talk to me." Peter should feel comfortable doing so. Maybe they had a few arguments, but Tony always told his son he loved him afterward. Most of the time, he didn’t apologize and he didn’t feel bad for doing so. Why did he have to say sorry for trying to do his job of protecting his son? It made no sense.

"I know." He replied.

An impatient breath escaped Tony’s lips, "You say you know, but you're not." He muttered.

"What's going on with you?"

_‘I want to talk to you… but it seems like I always say the wrong thing… ‘_

_‘The dream was about Westcott… and he… did things to me…’_

_‘All I want is to do is talk to you about it and you know how much Westcott scares me… but I’m terrified of you even more…’_

_‘I didn’t think that was possible… ‘_

Peter shook his head turning towards the window. It didn’t really matter how he felt anymore. Nothing mattered at this point.

~~_He was going to die within a couple years anyway._ ~~

"Okay…” Tony uttered. It was fine, he would find a way to get Peter to tell him sooner or later. “Anyway, You have your first session today, aren’t you excited?”

Peter looked at his father in confusion. Was he really being asked this? Peter begged his parents not to let him go for days, but it obviously didn’t work. "No.” he answered. “I’ve been telling you for a long time that I didn’t want to-”

“What do you mean, Pete?” Tony questioned, the tiniest laugh escaped his lips. “ Of course you do, remember?”

“No... “ Peter confirmed. He knew what he wanted, and this was not it. “I don't w-”

“Yes you do,” His father clarified. Tony knew that deep down, Peter wanted this, even if he wouldn’t admit it to himself. It was evident in his body language… a little bit.  “End of story.”

“D-” Peter tried.

“Don't you want to get better?”

“Ye-”

“You know how much Steve and I care _so_ much about you…” Tony reassured softly. “You're our everything, you know that, don’t you?”

“And when you get better from the therapy sessions, Steve and I will be happier. And if we are happier, than your father will be home more often. We will become a family again, don't you want that?” He asked. This was the softest Peter had heard his father's voice in a while. It seemed like Tony actually sounded… a bit sad. His eyes weren't filled with wrath or disappointment, they were warm as they started _at_ Peter, not downwards.

“I... I do want us to be happy again dad, but I don't like going there... “ Peter finally spoke up. The last thing he wanted was to make his father angry and ruin one peaceful moment that they were having. He knew that he would have to choose his words carefully. “Are you sure this is a good idea?” He replied, his voice wavered and quiet. “Should we do this? I don't know that… this group counseling… is the right choice.”

Peter stared upwards at his father, praying to whoever was listening that he did not just screw up this moment.

The expression on Tony’s face let him know that he did.

His head shook as a quiet and slow inhale expanded his chest. “I… I can't believe that you would think that I, your father, the one who has sacrificed _everything_ I've ever had for _you_ , would make you do something that would hurt you.” Tony retaliated. His voice was bitter, the warmth and gentleness of it before were gone.

“I am… absolutely speechless…” He hissed. “That _you_ of all people would say something like that to me…” With the next few words, the growing anger that Tony had, transformed into something that physically hurt Peter. It washed him over with an overwhelming feeling of guilt.

“That hurts, Pete… I expected more from you… ”

Peter stumbled over his words, unsure of what he should say. He didn’t mean to make his dad upset. It made him hate himself more whenever he made Tony angry… or even sad. “W-Wait dad… it’s not like that it's-

“No… don’t even bother,” Tony mumbled. “It's fine… I get it.”

" _I_ must seem like the bad guy now."

Peter brought his head down towards his oxygen tank. He stared at it with the tiny stings of tears burning his eyes.

_‘Everything is my fault.’_

He felt like he was the reason why they were all in this mess anyway. If he could’ve been a better child his parents would be happy again. And if they were happy, everything would be less tense. And if their home life was easier, Steve would even be around again. Peter couldn’t even put into words how much he missed him. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that all he has ever done _correctly_ was ruin his parents’ lives.

He thought he was being so ungrateful.

Tony and Steve have always been there for him. The responsibility of taking care of him was difficult and stressing, but they still tried their best to make Peter as comfortable as possible. They had done everything for him, given him everything he could possibly need. His parents had never asked him for anything but now, they only want him to do this _one_ thing.

And here Peter was, being a little brat and not wanting to do it.

He really was a piss poor excuse for a son.

“I'm... I’m sorry Dad,” Peter spoke quietly. “I changed my mind-”

His father scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Don’t just say something that I want to hear.”

Peter turned to face his father in shame. He was unable to muster up enough confidence to look in Tony’s eyes. “I’m serious… I actually want to go.” Peter realized that it was better this way. Once he got better, his family would be happy again. After all, his parents have done everything for him and this was only one thing that they were asking him to do that would benefit all of them. If he didn’t go, it would be selfish.

“I want to go.” He said.

“Really?” Tony asked. Peter could hear how the tone of his father’s voice lifted. The warmness returned and the aura of anger slowly faded away into nothing.

Peter nodded his head slowly, looking back at the window. “Yeah, you’re right.” He replied.  “It will be better for me… for us…”

A smile crept onto Tony's lips, this was good. He and Peter had a conversation that led to a mutual agreement. After all the time that has passed, he had forgotten what that felt like. "I know.” He beamed. “I'm right, as always.”

“I'm so glad you're finally starting to understand things from my point of view." He smiled, “You know that I only want the best for you and Steve, we are a family and I love the both of you.”

“Of course, Dad,” Peter replied. “And I love you.”

“I know,” Tony said, keeping his eyes on the road. “I know.”

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

The brunette sighed as he got his history textbook from his locker. It took more effort to move than usual and his eyelids felt like the moon and the stars were weighing down on them, but that wasn't really a new feeling. He was actually eating like a regular teenager due to the new medication his parents had him on. It was a bit strange though, did humans really eat this much?

And due to his anti-depressants… he didn't really have the thoughts about killing himself. Well if he were being honest, they were still there but it was getting easier to block them out. Overall, he felt numb. He wasn’t really happy, sad, or angry.

Maybe this was his normal.

Numbness.

The brunette let out a deep sigh, _again_. How was he gonna explain to Wade that he couldn't go to homecoming with him?

“You’re such a fucking idiot, Peter.” He murmured to himself.

Why was he so eager to say yes if he hadn't even asked his dad? He wasted Wade's time and gave him a fake sense of happiness by agreeing. Peter couldn’t believe he was thinking this, but it was a nice feeling while it lasted. He was finally in school and he got asked to homecoming by his boyfriend. Normal kids did this, right?

That moment was the best thing that had happened to him in weeks.

No tears.

No cancer pains.

When Wade told him how much he loved him and overwhelmed him with kisses, it made him feel… so loved.  

It felt like his life had a bit of purpose.

But no, of course not. When have things ever worked out in the way he wanted them to? He knew that the universe wasn’t made to give people what they want. After all, Peter knew that we were at the mercy of our own environment, but can't one happy thing happen for once?

Hadn’t he suffered enough?

Peter dismissed the thought from his head, he shouldn’t be complaining. Apparently, the doctors said that he was pretty lucky. Other people with conditions similar to his didn’t live as long as he did, just like Harry.

_‘Shut up.’_

_‘Don’t think about him.’_

_‘Not now.’_

______________________________

_“Death isn’t always goodbye, right? So goodbyes aren’t always forever.” Harry whispered, holding Peter’s hand in his.“So, maybe if we’re lucky enough… we’ll see eachother again.”_

______________________________

_‘Someday soon, Har. I miss you more than you know.’_

Peter knew that his cancer was gonna get bad again and kick his ass, as it always did.

Maybe his only lung will give out. After all, it was mostly scar and cancer tissue.

Or his liver would fail… it wouldn’t take him that long to die from that anyway.

_~~Good~~.  _

Or the cancer might spread to his brain or his bones...

He has lived with cancer for twelve years… five six years with stage four cancer… he felt like his life was just a waiting game at this point.

Peter closed his locker and continued walking towards his first period. For some reason, he felt like today was not going to be a good day.

Why did he have that stupid dream last night?

He hadn't had those in a while.

And why did he have to scream himself awake? He didn’t mean to wake his parents up.

With all of the students surrounding him,  the pain in his chest started weighing down each potential breath that he tried to take. His skin started to burn as his vision was starting to blur. The hallway began to spin as he became light-headed. Everyone was standing too to him, anxiety flooded his bloodstream.

 _They were all too_ _close_.

Peter remembered how Westcott grabbed his body tightly, he wouldn’t let go. He could feel his voice going hoarse with the screams that left his lips as his head started throbbing from the tears that poured down his eyes, but it didn’t matter. Wet and warm kisses were still being pressed onto his skin, full of lust and power, not love like Wade’s were. The venomous words that slithered through his ears and the hot breath that trailed down his neck made the bile travel up from Peter’s liver to his stomach.

And then when Skip effortlessly dragged Peter’s exhausted body to the bathroom and locked the door behind them…

The things that he did to Peter’s vulnerable body…

The things he made Peter do to him…

The taste, the smell, the dripping of the substance dripping from his mouth, and the sight of looking up at Skip from his knees all started coming back...

And then the words that were said to him…

Peter was going to be sick.

_‘Bathroom’_

_‘Bathroom’_

_‘Bathroom’_

He considered himself lucky that there wasn’t one too far away. He made his way past the wave of students as he pushed open the bathroom door. He ran into one of the empty stalls as he brought himself to his knees, preparing for the worst.

After his stomach contents made their way inside of the toilet he was left coughing violently, gasping for air.

He flushed it in shame as his bottom lip began to tremble. He sat down on the ground, leaning his back on the stall door. He ran his hands through his hair, trying his best to calm his wavered breathing. Small whimpers came from his mouth as his throat and his eyes began to sting.

“Why?” He murmured tearfully.

_‘What did I do wrong?’_

What he do to deserve… _this_? Childhood cancer and then… being molested by someone that he called his friend? Why… and how could someone do that to a fucking child?

Peter didn’t know what he did to have this happen to him. Why did Westcott have to come into his life, why did he hurt him the way he did?

_‘So… fucking… stupid…’_

Westcott fucking molested him, a twelve-year-old kid.

His punishment? He had to go to therapy for a couple months.

He took pictures and videos of Peter’s underdeveloped body, and what he did to it. Even to this day, Peter wasn’t sure if Skip deleted them or not.

His punishment? He had to take a drug that helped reduce his testosterone levels.

Only for a couple months.

Westcott forcibly took away the only shred of innocence Peter had left.

And his punishment? He couldn’t be within one two hundred feet of schools, parks, or recreational centers.

All because the judge saw Westcott as mentally ill and prison would be too " _rough_ " for him. Skip had a disorder that needed to be treated, he " _didn't fit the criteria_ " of someone that deserved to go to prison.

But… they never said that he had to leave New York...

What if he was still here?

What if he would be at the church tonight? Just like he was in the dream?

Peter’s muscles became rigid and he hugged his legs closer to his chest. His body trembled as fear raced through his veins. It was hard enough seeing him in the dream, but if Peter saw him again… after so many years of being apart? He couldn’t even imagine it…

He didn’t want to…

What if he was at the church? Preying on the victims of life.

And all for the too obvious reasons.

_‘No…’_

_‘No…’_

The walls of the stall were closing in on him, his lung was collapsing in on itself, again, making his breathing even more of a struggle. The deep dark waves filled with all of his demons washed over him, trapping him under an infinite darkness, drowning him with nothing but the pains and horrors that were hidden behind the walls of his own mind. He tried to stand up, but his weak legs fell limp and brought his body harshly back onto the floor.

He struggled to form words as pathetic sobs came from his body.

_‘Why can’t I just die already?’_

He buried his head in his hands as he bit his lip, he didn't want anyone to hear him crying.

He was so tired of all of this… why was he alive only to suffer?

The only _‘good’_ thought he got was that he could end it all right now if he wanted to…

Pale fingertips made their way to the tear-stained nasal cannula that was on his face, went behind his ears, and down his shirt. One of the things that were helping him stay alive.

Ten minutes was all it took to get the job done.

He always assumed it would be painful at first… but he would most likely lose consciousness halfway.

His index finger and thumb gripped one of the tubes near his nose that stretched towards his ear. All he had to do was rip it off and after a few minutes… everything would be over. All of his pain would disappear.

Maybe he could even see Harry again.

“No…” He whispered.

If he did die… his pain wouldn’t simply “disappear”. It would get transferred to someone else. How would his parents feel after everything that they had sacrificed for him? After everything, they had been through from day one only to realize that son left without even saying goodbye? What about Gwen?

And then… Wade.

He didn’t even want to imagine what he would do.

His mind couldn’t fathom it.

Peter removed his hand from his cannula and placed it on his knees. His vision blurred as the tears fell from his eyes and dropped onto his hands.

_‘No…’_

_‘Not like this…’_

_‘5…’_

Inhale.

_‘4... ‘_

Exhale.

_‘3…’_

Inhale.

_‘2…’_

Exhale.

_‘1…’_

Inhale.

Instinctively, Peter brought his left thumb to his right palm as he began applying circling pressuring motions.

_An old anxiety technique._

“He’s not here…” He murmured to himself.

“He’s not here…” Peter murmured quietly, wiping his tears with the back of his hand.

“I have Dad and Pa… and Gwen… and Wade…”

“They’re not going to let _him_ hurt me … again.”

_‘Breathe…’_

_‘Breathe…’_

“Just breathe, Peter.” He told himself.

_‘You’re okay…’_

“It’s okay.”

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

Tony walked through the front door, closing it silently behind him. For once, he was actually having a semi-good morning. He and Peter didn’t argue, he only had one glass of alcohol, and his symptoms of his hangover were starting to dwindle down. Maybe he could even get some work done today if-

"We need to talk." A voice said behind him, interrupting his thoughts.

Tony turned, facing his husband. He was standing a couple feet away from him, his arms folded over his chest. "Not really," Tony replied indifferently. In all honesty, he didn’t feel like talking right now. There was no point.  

"Yes,” Steve confirmed. “We absolutely need to talk.”

Stark’s eyes rolled a dramatic sight left his body. “Sure, sweetheart.” He groaned. There was no way he could avoid Steve so whatever he wanted to talk about, they might as well get it over with now. “What seems to be on your mind?”

“You.”

“Me?” Tony scoffed. “That a surprise.” It was  funny how Steve said that he was on his mind when he had no problem leaving.

"Yes, Tony,” Steve continued, his voice fell soft as his arms fell to his sides. Hesitantly, he took a few steps closer to Tony. “It’s about-”

"There is nothing about me to talk about.” Tony murmured. If he wanted to make up for lost time, then he should do it later. Tony wasn't in the mood earlier this morning, and he sure as hell wasn't in the mood right now. Why couldn’t Steve just take the hint and leave? He didn't seem to have a problem doing that before, why was he suddenly so concerned now?  “You're wasting your time."

"It's been months, Tony,” Steve said. "When are you going to stop doing this?" He missed his family. He missed seeing Peter happy and Tony one hundred percent sober. It’s not that he left his family because he didn't want to be around them, it was because he needed some time to think of how to help them and he couldn’t do it at home. It was impossible to even _think_ at home with Tony constantly yelling or Peter constantly crying. Or the conflict between his son and his husband made the house too silent. Tony wouldn't even look at or talk to Peter and as a result, he would lock himself inside of his room, not even coming out to eat. Steve tried to comfort him, but it never worked.

________________________

_“He will never forgive me, will he?” Peter whispered._

_________________________

The thick silence between the two was too much and most of the time, Steve felt like he was suffocating in the remains that once was his family.

"When am I going to stop doing _what_?” Tony glared. He knew that he was trying to bring his family back together. If Steve could simply understand that if his son stopped dating Wade, they could all go back to normal. Maybe he did yell at Peter on accident, but he apologized… sometimes. Deep down, Tony knew that ignoring Peter for a month was a dick move. But when he found out that he was dating W*de… all he thought about was Westcott.

What if Wade will hurt him just like Westcott did?

And Tony wasn’t there to protect him?

_‘Again.’_

Tony couldn't look at his son in the eyes because when he did, all it reminded him were the eyes of a broken and scared twelve-year-old kid.

The kid that got molested by someone he considered his friend… someone that Tony invited into their home.

 _His_ kid.

"You know what you’re doing… and it’s wrong… "

"Please," Tony said sarcastically. "Educate me."

"Fine," Steve shot back. "Why do you treat him like He's so different?"

"You insult him and you _constantly_ put him down like he isn't worth anything... like he's a pet? Where is the respect for him?”

"It's as if... _only_ when he does what you say, that's when he is deserving of your love... anytime he does something you don't agree with... you constantly yell at him... don't you notice the psychological damage that’s being done to him?"

“He is _terrified_ of you.”

"I just don’t understand how you could do this to him… and to me?"

"I thought he was supposed to be our equal?”

“Why don't you treat him like an equal, Tony?"

"What the hell are you trying to say, Rogers? Tony scowled. Peter wasn't afraid of him and even if he was, How would Steve even know?

He was barely home.

"I don't understand why this is so hard for you to understand…” Tony continued. He was pressing his index finger to his thumb to help keep all of his anger down. “ This is a simple concept, Steve! I can’t fail Peter again, alright? I don't need something terrible happening to him _again_ because of me. I don’t need that on my conscious again… I don't need it."

"I've told you so many times that it wasn't your fault.”

"You know damn well it was." Tony snapped. “All I’m trying to do it protect him… I suggest you do the same.”

“You see…” Steve countered, not wanting to yell or lash out. He knew that Tony had his own issues that he had to deal with, but the way he was treating Peter was unacceptable…  “The thing that you don’t seem to realize is that it’s not protective if it's abusive.”

“What did you just say?”

"I get it, I really do. I know how you feel... but you need to stop and to listen to me… ” Steve continued. It was hard to keep his eye contact with Tony because the way he was looking at him… it was as if he betrayed him… “You're going about this the wrong way. I know that you have your own things to deal with. You’re angry, and that’s fine. But you’re aiming it all at Peter, and that’s not okay with me.”

"And you've been a complete idiot!" Tony retaliated. "Really, Questioning me? You're so quick to talk about how Peter is feeling when you're barely home.”

“How the fuck do you think I feel right now?”

“And now…” He continued. “You keep telling me that I should give their relationship a shot and see how it plays out?”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“They’re teenagers, Steven!” Tony yelled. “One minute,  it’s _‘I hate you don’t talk to me’_ and then the next, it’s frantic groping in any dark corner they can manage to find themselves alone in for five minutes!”

“Do you believe that this is actually going to last?”

“We have to let him live.” Steve pleaded. The last thing he wanted was to make Tony upset but had to let him know that what he had been keeping in for months. “We both know that this day was going to come eventually.”

“Right… ” Tony said harshly. “The day where our son gets raped because we were out _‘letting him live’_ ”

“Please don’t say that.”

“Whatever,” Tony grumbled. “I have work to do.” He tried to walk past his husband to his office,  but Steve placed his hand on his shoulder stopping him in his tracks.

"We’re not finished,” Steve said. “Love, you can't keep on doing this to Pete… it’s traumatizing and scary… and sooner or later, Peter won’t even be able to-.”

“Get your hand off of me.”

He quickly removed his hand, “Sorry.” He murmured. “I don't like it when you treat Peter like this. you're hurting him. And you're hurting me."

"Can't you see what this has done to our family? I don’t know what’s happened to you and I want to help you but I don’t know how…”

“You’ve already done enough, haven’t you?”

Steve ignored Tony’s comment. "You're breaking your promise… to me... yourself... and Peter." Before they got married, Steve helped get Tony out of the drugs and the alcohol… It took a while, but they made it through, together. Tony swore that he would never let those substances control his life again and that if they ever did become parents… he would try his best not to be like Howard. Steve even remembered the horrible stories Tony told him about his father, but now it seemed like all of them were coming to life right in front of his eyes.

"You're just like him… " Steve admitted, defeated. His eyes fell and his shoulders slumped. Desperation washed his body over in regret that stole all of the confidence he once had before. Maybe if he had been home more often,  all of this could’ve been avoided…

"Don't you dare." Tony threatened.

"You're just like the man… you never wanted to become."

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

When Peter came home from school, he silently went into his room. He didn’t want to be alone today, he actually wanted to spend time with his dad. But, what his father said to him after school that made it seem like it was better if they didn’t. This morning in the car, Tony wasn’t too angry so Peter inferred that he was in a good mood. Now that Peter felt a bit comfortable opening up, maybe his dad could give him some advice, words of encouragement, or a simple hug.

As soon as they got inside, he tried to make a conversation. It started out with loud sighs and exasperated groans from Tony… It was mostly a one-sided conversation until…

_~~Tony basically yelled at him to shut up.~~ _

_________________________________

_“I have a major headache right now and you’re not making it any better.” His father snapped angrily, burying his forehead in his hands._

_“Could you please…  just stop talking and go upstairs?”_

________________________________

So here Peter was, sitting on his bed with his history textbook in his lap. The silent tears that fell from his eyes made tiny droplets on the page.

He sighed as he wiped the tears off of his face. He couldn’t understand why he was crying so much.

It was his fault anyway.

If he wasn't such a terrible son… Tony would be less stressed… and if he is less stressed then Steve would be home more often. Their house would feel like a home.

All of the bad things happening at home were his fault.

He deserved it, didn’t he?

No one was to blame for this but him.

With shaky arms, he removed his open textbook from his lap and placed it farther on his bed. There was usually one thing always that helped him when he was feeling like such a fuck up.

He got off of his bed and crouched, searching underneath it. He was focused on finding the signature black converse box. A weak smile grew on his face as he pulled it out. As he sat back on his bed as his clammy hands opened it. Inside, it revealed a bunch of folded up pieces of paper and one blue envelope that had only one word written on it.

_Peter_

He pulled it out, taking a slow breath in. This was the letter from Harry that Norman Osborn had given to him exactly three months after Harry died. Peter couldn’t bring himself to read it until a year after he had passed away. Anytime Peter felt extremely alone… this letter always seemed to remind him that he was loved.

 _Hey Pete, It’s me,_ _  
_ _  
_ _If you’re reading this then... the surgery didn’t go well and for that, I’m sorry. But before you get all emotional just keep on reading this, okay? I’m sorry that we couldn’t go to middle school together... I’m sorry that we couldn’t go through high school together... and I’m sorry that you won’t be able to go through life with me by your side. Maybe I was wrong... about growing up and living lives far away from this hospital... sorry for filling you up with false hope. Maybe I didn’t get that, but you will, won’t you? You’re gonna survive this, I know it. You’re gonna grow up, finish high school and go to an amazing college because you are one of the smartest people that I’ve ever known. If anyone deserves a long and happy life, it’s you. You owe the world your gifts, you just need to know how to use them first. Promise me that you won’t waste your life. Please don’t sit around and mope over my death... now that I’m no longer alive, I’m no one’s problem anymore. I don’t deserve your tears so don’t you dare cry over me. Don’t waste your precious time._ **_And remember, you need to take care of yourself._ ** _Cancer isn’t the only thing that can kill you. When I couldn’t leave the hospital, you wouldn’t leave my bedside... you wouldn’t even eat. Practice self-care, be selfish for once. Rest, get lots of sleep, please. I remember the doctors told me that our bodies heal when we sleep. Eat, your body needs to be strong enough to get you through your many_ _many_ years on this earth. _You can’t take care of other people if you don’t take care of yourself. And if anything goes wrong or if you feel lost, you have your parents right? They care so much about you and I wish I had that. Can you believe it? You visited me more than my dad did. No matter what,  I need you to keep on going... I need you to hold onto our hope, Alright? Keep it alive and remember that the bad things in life are not forever, I swear to you that they will pass. It has to. Anyway… before I got all sappy, I guess I just wanted to let you know, when you let me go, that’s when I’m actually gone. I know this gonna sound really selfish... but please please please don’t let me go because I don’t want to leave you, Peter. You’re my best friend. And I love you._

_You are so loved, don’t forget it,_

__\- Harry O._ _  

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

_Knock_

_Knock_

_Knock_

The brunette's eyes shot open.

How did he fall asleep?

The last thing he remembered was reading the letter from Harry and then trying to return to his homework…

_Knock_

“Peter?”

_Knock_

He carefully peeled a sticky his textbook page off his cheek as he made his way towards the door. Strange… how long did he black out for?

He slowly slipped on the strap for his oxygen tank, being wary of the dark purple and blue bruise that was growing on his both of his shoulders. With the weight of his backpack and then the tank… he guessed his body just couldn’t handle it. Sure it was painful, but it was better than having to roll a tank around everywhere. Plus, it probably wasn’t a big deal anyway, he knew that he bruised easily.

Peter made his way towards his door, expecting to see Tony.

Instead, he saw Steve.

He hadn’t seen him home this early… for so long.

“Hey, Pa…” Peter smiled.

Steve could barely return the gesture. He felt miserable right now because of what happened with Tony earlier this morning. It was not his intention for the conversation to spiral out of control, but it just did. The only good thing that happened to Steve today was seeing a smile on Peter’s face again. “Hey, Pete… can I talk to you for a minute?”

Peter’s smile fell as it was replaced with a small frown. “Did I do something wrong?” He asked.

And then, the way Peter looked up at him… the emotion in his eyes terrified Steve.

It was fear.

Was he scared of him too?

“No,” Steve reassured him, “Of course not.”

Peter nodded slowly. “Oh okay…”  He said, a sigh of relief escaped his lips. The last thing he would want is to make Steve upset today… just like he did to Tony.

He walked over to his bed as Steve followed closely behind him. They both sat down about an arm’s length apart. In the beginning, neither of them spoke. Steve’s eyes were downcast as he was he was fumbling with his hands, unsure of what to say. Peter was staring outside of his window, paying attention to the sky as the sun was slowly slipping away behind the trees.

Neither of them could remember the last time they had a real conversation.

“I’m sorry, Peter,” Steve said softly. He knew that if he wanted to rebuild his relationship with his son, it had to start with an apology.

Peter turned towards his father in confusion. “What?” He asked. Steve hasn't done anything wrong. “Why are you apologizing?”

Steve looked inside of his son’s eyes and saw how much Peter was hurting… He hung his head in shame and shook it. If he had been home more… the situation between him and Tony wouldn't of have gotten this bad. “I haven’t been home lately…” He admitted.

“I’ve been absent… and I want to let you know that I am going to be home more often…”

“You’ve been busy at work, Pa,” Peter said. “You don’t have to apologize for doing your job.”

“My job is to take care of you,” Steve confirmed. “And lately… I have not been doing that.” Steve remembered making a promise too… all those years ago. What kind of father was he if he left his son during one of the times when he needed him most? Peter was unhappy because Tony was constantly hurting him and here Steve was, doing absolutely nothing about it.

To him, that was just as bad.

“I’ll understand if you-” Steve tried, but he stopped himself when he felt Peter pull him into a large hug. He hadn’t even noticed that his son scooted closer.

“I forgive you,” Peter murmured. He still didn’t understand why Steve was apologizing, but he will forgive him anyway. In all honesty, he missed him and he was glad he was home. Maybe now… he would have someone to talk to again and he would feel some sort of happiness when he’s at home. “I’m just really _really_ glad you’re home now.”

“I missed you a lot…”

Steve wrapped his arms around Peter as he placed a small kiss on his forehead. “I missed you too, Pete.” He said quietly. “I love you… so much.”

What did he ever do to deserve this kid?

“I love you too, Pa.”

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

It was nice for a while.

This was the happiest he had been without Gwen or Wade

It was such a strange feeling.

Peter had been sitting down, eating with Steve, Tony was nowhere to be found. For once, he actually felt hungry and had no need to take his appetite enhancer pills before his meal. Peter talked about some of the things that were going on at school, which wasn’t much. He mostly wanted to hear about Steve and the things that were happening at work.

“- don’t even get me started on Bucky…” Steve continued, smiling. What would he do without him? If Bucky hadn’t been there listening to all of the blond’s troubles… he had no clue where he would be now. And Steve could never forget the time when Bucky allowed him to sleep over when he was sick. He didn’t ask any questions or assume anything…When he saw Steve at the door, all he did was smile and say:

________________

_“Mein Haus ist Dein Haus, alter Freund.”_

_(My house is your house, old friend.)_

_________________

Steve remembered how Bucky even offered to make him breakfast the next morning. He considered himself so lucky to have him as a friend.

“He protected me from everything as a kid…” Steve continued. “Especially the bullies at school…”

“ _You_ got bullied?” Peter asked in disbelief.

“I admit it,” He shrugged. “I was a pretty tiny kid,”

_‘Relatable.’_

“How did… you deal with them?” Peter asked. In all honesty, he could really use the advice. He didn't know much more of Flash and Liz he could really take.

“Well… I just remembered that humans are crazy and complicated… we do things to other people because things are being done to us.”

“As I’ve told you before…” Steve said simply. “People that are hurt, hurt other people.”

“I just tried my best to ignore them but…” He included, laughing at the thought. “Bucky and I may have egged their cars on the last day of senior year.”

“Seriously?!” Peter asked, astonished.

_‘Steve? Breaking the rules?’_

Steve shook his head, smiling. “Yup…it was worth it…”

“Is anyone bullying you at school, Peter?” He then asked, the smile falling off of his face.

____________________________

_“Can’t you just do everyone a favor and disappear?”_

_“Just end your pathetic life.”_

_“How’s your stretched asshole, Peter?”_

_____________________________

“No,” Peter shook his head. “Of course not.”

“The kids are really nice…and if anyone was bullying me, I would let you know.”

“Okay,” Steve nodded. Even if, who would ever think about bullying Peter? He was such a sweet kid. “That’s goo-”

The sound of a door closing stopped Steve from finishing his sentence. It must have been Tony. Ever since they had their argument this morning, he had locked himself inside of his office. Steve didn’t call him up for dinner because he was in a bad mood and he wanted Tony to come up when he was ready. His husband needed some time, and that was fine.

Tony walked into the dining room slowly, ignoring Peter and Steve. He was eyes were glued to the coffee machine sitting on the kitchen counter.

“Hi, Dad,” Peter said. “Are you feeling better?”

“Oh my _god_ , Peter… why are you so loud?” Tony hissed, reaching for the coffee bag in the cabinet. He wasn’t trying to be mean, but this headache was splitting apart his skull and he would appreciate some peace and quiet for once. Maybe he shouldn’t of have had scotch on an empty stomach while battling a hangover. “Didn’t I tell you that I had a headache?”

“Right… sorry…” Peter murmured, turning back to his meal.

“Don’t talk to him like that, Tony.” Steve broke in. As he said before, Tony had his own issues and that was fine, but he didn’t have to direct his anger at Peter.

Tony froze in place, the coffee grounds dropped on the counter with a large thump. The silence between the three of them made Peter’s eye’s bounce off of them in fear. He didn’t like where this was going…

His father kept his gaze straight ahead as Peter saw his head twitch the slightest. “You’re still here?” Tony scowled, his voice came out slowly with venom that left Peter afraid to breathe. “That’s a surprise.”

“I thought you had run off.”

“No, Tony,” Steve replied. “I haven’t.”

“Do you want an award for father of the year?” Grumbled Tony. He wasn't in the mood to deal with Steve right now. All he wanted was some damn coffee.

Steve narrowed his eyes at his husband’s backside. “Do you?” He asked.

_‘Please stop fighting.’_

Tony rolled his eyes, placing the mug that he would’ve used for coffee back in the cabinet. “Come on Peter, we’re going.” He ordered.

“But… I still have an hour, Don’t I?” Peter asked, his voice quaked the tiniest bit. Tony sure as hell wasn’t in a good mood and he didn’t want to upset him even more.

“Not anymore.”

“O-Okay…”

“Peter, you don’t have to go now if you don’t want to... I am not the type of parent that will _force_ you to do things you don’t want to do,” Steve said, glaring at Tony.

Tony turned around and stared at Steve. God… sometimes he wished he could punch him in his perfect teeth. “Of course not, Peter.” He shot back. “ Just like I am not the type of parent to _disappear_ on you and come back like everything is perfect.”

“How about…  we let Peter make his _own_ choices for once?” Steve retaliated. “Because we are _parents_ , not _dictators_ , right?”

“Okay then,” Tony responded harshly. “Let Peter decide for himself.”

That when Peter’s parents had turned to him for the first time since they started their conversation. An imminent terror washed over the teen as his eyes moved from each parent. He brought his left thumb to his clammy right hand, trying to calm the anxiety that was suffocating him. Tony’s eyes were towering over him and the wrath buried deep inside of them made him feel like that was a look he could only witness in his nightmares. All of the fury his father had directed towards him made Peter feel smaller than he already was.

But when Peter looked at Steve there was no anger. His blue eyes reminded Peter to calm down and take a breath. There was no judgment… only patience.

Peter didn’t really want to go now… but the last thing he wanted was for his parents to engage in another argument or to make Tony even angrier. He seemed to be stressed enough, and Peter felt like he was only adding to that. If he just did what his dad wants him to, then everything would eventually be alright. “It’s fine…” He finally spoke up. “Maybe with the extra time… I can make a friend or two.”

“Peter,” Steve began. “You don’t have to do this.” He could tell from Peter’s eyes that he was terrified of Tony, that was why he was agreeing with him.

“It’s ok,” Peter let out a weak smile, standing up.“I want to do this.”

“Alright.” Steve nodded his head, if this was Peter’s choice, then so be it. “I’ll come with you.”

“No, you’re not,” Tony spoke up, grabbing his keys.

Steve turned towards Tony confused, “What?” he asked, standing up.

“It’s fine,” Tony muttered. “You don’t need to come.”

Before Steve spoke, he turned towards Peter. He could see that his face was starting to lose the color it once had and he was holding his hands in one another, squeezing tightly. “Fine,” Steve surrendered. “I’ll stay here.”

Peter then wrapped his arms around Steve, giving his father another hug. He let his head rest on his chest as he tried not to cry. He couldn’t put into words how much he missed him… and how at this moment, he would give almost anything to spend some more time with him.

“See you later, Pa,” Peter whispered.

“It will be over before you know it, Pete.”

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳.

________________________________

_“Just… get out…” Tony groaned as he placed his hands on his temple._

_________________________________

Peter had been inside of the small church for a while. His arms were crossed, trying his best to keep himself warm. His chest eventually started hurting from his heart pounding so quickly. No matter what he tried to do, he couldn’t keep himself calm.

Everything from the dream he had last night was the exact same.

_‘Breathe…’_

_‘Breathe…’_

He told himself that he dream was just a manifestation of his subconscious fears, that's all. He could not predict the future. It was a nightmare, nothing more, nothing less. Westcott wasn’t here and he would never see him again.

That's all.

If so, then why was he so scared?

_'He's not here...'_

Peter continued walking through the hallway that seemed to stretch for a thousand miles. Tremors made his body shake due to his increasing fear of seeing _him_ here… he tried to reassure himself that he was safe, but it wasn’t working. Every couple of seconds he whipped his head behind him to see if anyone was following him.

There was no one.

But he still had a sinister chill that crawled up his spine and went through the sleeves of his jacket

~~_It felt like death._ ~~

He continued walking until he saw the meeting room for the group counseling. Some people were already inside, socializing with one another. He sighed looking down at himself. Why was he so afraid to talk to people? Don’t get him wrong, he wanted to make friends… but… he didn’t know how to. He only had two friends, Gwen and Wade, and they made the first move, not him.

Maybe if he had enough dedication, he could hide out inside the bathroom for the full hour.

______________________________

_“Now that you’re a little older… how about we go into the bathroom, and we try something new?”_

________________________________

_‘NOPE’_

He took a deep breath in as he entered the room, keeping his head down. Maybe the time would pass by much faster if he let his thoughts take him away. That’s how he had been getting through school lately.

A pair of eyes were pressed onto his skin.

He could feel it.

He took a seat towards the back where no one else was and kept his head down, focusing on the crease lines on his hand. If there was one thing he hated, it was when people stared at him. It was the absolutely the worst. He wasn’t an object or a specimen for them to gawk at was he? He was just a person.

He glared downwards at his oxygen tank that was leaning on the side of his body to keep itself upright.

_‘Damn you, Karen.’_

When Peter looked up, he wasn’t surprised when he met the pair of eyes that were looking right at him. They belonged to a person who had no shame in pointing at him while they were talking to about him to someone else.

_‘Nice’_

“You look a little bit lonely,” A voice said.

Peter begrudgingly looked up, expecting to see someone he didn’t know. A stranger probably that just came to talk to him because he was sitting all alone...

But what took him by surprise was that it wasn't a stranger. It was…

“Wade?!”

“Oh my god!” Wade squealed. His face lit up as he started looking around. “Where? I’m such a huge fan!”

“I heard he was such a cool guy with an awesome boyfriend!”

Peter wanted to laugh and be happy but he couldn’t bring himself to. What if Tony saw him here? He didn't know exactly how he would, but he knew that his father would find a way. What if Tony was still in the parking lot? Or he decided to come in last minute to take Peter home?  He continued to stare at Wade, wide-eyed. “ I’m serious… w-what are you doing here?”

“I came to keep you company.” He smiled, taking a seat next to him. He wrapped his arm around Peter’s shoulder, pulling him closer. “You look so beautiful today.” It had been a while since he had been able to talk to Peter outside of an empty classroom.

“Why… are you here?” Peter asked again.

The smile melted off of Wade’s face when he felt Peter was shaking under his arm. "I…  didn't want you to be alone." He said. "You were talking about how much you dread this place and I thought that if I went with you…  it would make it a bit better?"

"And who knows this may be a bit fun?"

“You-” Peter began, but he stopped himself. He had never _asked_ Wade to come. Therefore, it was his own decision. That meant that it wasn’t in Peter’s power to say if he could be here or not.

If Tony did find out, he wouldn’t get too mad, would he?

He calmed down, releasing all of the anxious tremors from his body. He relaxed his muscles, letting his body sink into Wade’s warm one.

This was nice.

“Thank you,” He whispered, smiling.

“How have you been lately?” Wade pondered. “It seems like I haven’t seen you in forever.” They only had one class together and it was getting harder and harder to find each other in the hallways.

“I don’t know anymore…” He admitted. “I just don’t know.”

“Why? Is something going on?” Wade asked. “Are you okay?” He felt bad for not knowing how Peter was feeling before, but he barely had the chance to talk to him in school and the group counseling would be the only time they saw each other out of school.

“I just… feel like such a fuck up today…” Peter murmured into Wade’s chest.

“Is it your dad, again?” He asked.

“Yeah.”

Ever since they told Peter's parents that they had started dating, the same thing had been going on for months. The relationship between Peter and Tony was worsening day by day. Peter kept telling him that it wasn’t his fault, but Wade begged to differ. If he had never come into Peter’s life, none of this would’ve happened.

He was kinda ruining his boyfriend’s life.

"Yo, maybe I should leave…” Wade said, taking his arm away from Peter. “I don’t want to ruin things more than I already have…”

“If your Dad sees me here, I don't want him to get mad at you…” The last thing Wade wanted to see was the look in Tony’s eyes as he stared down at him for even breathing the same air as his son. From what Peter told him, it was obvious that his father didn’t like him that much. The last time he had seen Tony was when he came over for dinner… and the way that Tony looked at him when Peter said that they were dating… well…  

Peter’s dad was pretty intimidating.

Let’s leave it at that.

“Wait, please don't,” Peter begged.  “It’s alright, don't worry about it.”

“If my Dad does show up… w-we will cross that bridge … when we come to it.”

“Are you sure?” Wade asked. “I don’t want him to get mad at you.”

“And I don’t want to be alone anymore,” Peter responded.

“Well then,” Wade smirked, wrapping his arm back around Peter. If he said it was fine, then Wade guessed that it was okay. Even if, how could he say no if Peter was asking him to stay? “It's a good thing you've got me here now, isn't it?”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Peter said, lifting his head to face Wade’s.

Wilson placed a kiss on Peter’s forehead before moving towards his lips. “You know you’re helplessly in love me,” He murmured. “I know you can’t help it… I am pretty awesome…”

“Keep telling yourself that.” Peter let out a soft smile, closing his eyes.

With Wade by his side helping him get through this… maybe today wouldn't be so bad after all.

Maybe the days that follow will get better too…

Maybe eventually, everything will be alright.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything will be alright, eh?
> 
> I just wish _____ had time for eventually. 
> 
>  
> 
> (oh and peter’s oxygen tank is named Karen. It was Jennatheswede’s idea ❤️❤️)


	18. Eyes The Size Of The Moon

For once… life was…

 

Decent.

 

Wait no, not decent.

 

Life was _good_.

 

Gwen got accepted into the Oscorp internship program. Peter knew that she would. Afterall, she was Gwen Stacy. _The_ Gwen Stacy. Beautiful, top of all of her classes, the president of the debate team and many other clubs. She wanted to major in molecular medicine and she hoped that with the internship, it would boost her chances of getting into the college of her dreams, The Oxford School of London. Peter was so happy for her. She was building something for herself at such a young age.

 

Her mom even threw a small “get together” at their house to celebrate her daughter's success.

 

Peter was invited… and he wanted to go… but Tony’s answer was evident before he even asked his question.

________________________

 

_“Hey, Dad, Can I please talk to you?” Peter asked._

 

_He remembered his father’s head turning the slightest, only to give his son a tiny side glance. “What do you want?” He asked._

 

_“My friend… she… ummm…”_

 

_“Speak up, Peter…” Tony spat.  “You know I hate it when you mumble.”_

 

_“My friend Gwen is having a small gathering at her house…” Peter finally blurted.  “and she wanted to know if I could-”_

 

_“No,” Tony answered, rolling his eyes. He turned his attention back to the work on his desk._

 

_“But why Dad? I never get to see her outside of school… and I-”_

 

_“Because I said so, Peter.”_

 

_“W-”_

 

_“Look, Kid,” He growled angrily. “I’m busy and I don’t have the patience or energy to deal with you right now.”_

 

_“Could you please… just leave me alone for the rest of the day?”_

 

_“Right,” Peter whispered as his voice fell, “Of course… sorry for bothering you,”_

 

_“Make sure you close the door on your way out.”_

_________________________

On the bright side, Steve was home a lot more.

 

Peter couldn’t put into words how much he had missed him.

 

Before, Peter would go days without seeing him. Steve left much earlier than he used to so when Peter came downstairs on the weekdays, his father was already gone. By the time Steve actually came home, Peter was already asleep.  The weekends were one of the only times when Peter got to make tiny conversations with Steve before he had to leave again. It wasn’t a lot of time, but it was better than nothing. Peter hated it when his father left but he didn't think that it was his place to ask him to stay home. His father had work to do and the teen felt like he should respect that.

 

But now, Steve rarely went out.

 

If he did, it was only to work. He went there only two times a week for a couple hours.

 

When Steve was home he spent the majority of his time with Peter. Whenever the teen was finished with his homework the rest of the day belonged to him and his Pa. Sometimes they watched movies in the basement, went out for walks in the forest surrounding their home, or sat down and talked for hours.  For once… Peter was actually happy at home again.

 

Well, happy most of the time.

 

His parents barely looked at one another anymore.

 

On the good days, Steve and Tony were able to mutter a couple of words to one another but It was rare that they could actually hold a conversation without it breaking out into an argument. When Peter was around, they tried to hide it. They were trying to hide the silent war going on between them.

 

Peter could tell that they wanted him to ‘ _feel_ ’ like everything was alright. They wanted him to feel like they were just mad at each other and they would make up soon. Couples bicker all the time, right? This was totally _‘normal’_ in a relationship.

 

In all honesty, Peter probably would’ve bought it if their arguments didn't wake him up in the middle of the night.

_____________________________

 

_“What the hell Tony?!” Steve shouted.“Are you drunk again?”_

 

_“Why the fuck would you care?”_

 

_“You’re barely around… “ Steve’s voice softened. “Peter misses you… I miss you... “_

 

_“I’m simply taking a page out of your book, Rogers.”_

____________________________

 

When Peter came downstairs sometimes, Tony was nowhere to be found. It was only Steve making breakfast for them. Tony was either in his office or not home at all. Even when Peter did see Tony, it didn't feel like he was actually home because his dad started doing what he did only a couple months ago when he found out that Peter was dating wade.

 

His father barely talked to him.

 

His father couldn’t even keep eye contact with him.

 

Lately, they spoke a couple sentences to each other at most.

 

The only time spent together was when Tony was driving him to and from school.

 

Peter remembered when the dinner table used to be the three of them.

 

Then it was just him and Tony

 

And now it was only Peter and Steve.

 

_~~Where did his family go?~~ _

 

Luckily, life got a little better from that point.

 

If there was one thing that could _always_ make Peter’s day a thousand times better was, _surprisingly_ , the group counseling.

 

Not because he found it helpful or he enjoyed the looks people threw at him, it was only because Wade was there. Those three days every week was the only time Peter could forget about all of the terrible things going on in his life and just focus on the one person who had given him…  everything that his parents _couldn’t._

 

He felt complete with Wade by his side.

 

He felt loved.

 

Peter hoped that this happiness would last long enough to keep him going and that one day, Tony would come back to them, his parents would be able to tolerate each other, and Tony will _finally_ accept Wade into their family and no longer see him as a threat.

 

But unfortunately… Peter could only leave that to the power of his dreams and the will of the universe.

 

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

 

_‘Breathe…’_

 

_‘Just breathe…’_

 

_‘Breathe… Pete… come on…  ’_

 

Peter was sitting up on his bed as one of his hands was in his hair as the other was clutching his chest. His blankets were thrown to the other side of his bed as sweat covered every inch of his body.  His eyes welled up with tears as his chest painfully heaved. His weak lung was trying its best to supply his body with enough oxygen, but it was failing.

 

_Badly._

 

It was getting harder to breathe these days.

 

For a while now, the sudden pain was completely random. He could be fine one minute and then at any given moment, he could be greeted with a sharp pain in the lower part of his lung.

 

It started out small as it gradually grew to the point where his chest was screaming for mercy.

 

His lung begged for release from the muscle splitting agony that consumed him. He wanted to hold his breath just so he could be free from some of the pain, but he wouldn’t be able to hold it very long.

 

He didn’t tell his parents about it.

 

He couldn’t.

 

They were already stressed enough with everything that was going on. The last thing Peter wanted to worry them more than he already had.

 

The tears silently cascaded down his face as they stained his grey sweatpants. The agony overwhelmed his senses.

 

He couldn’t feel his heart beating.

 

The only thing he heard was the blood rushing through his head.

 

And through the blur of his tears, his eyesight even had black spots in them.

 

The only idea that soared through his mind was finding a way to get the ripping hell that flowed through his veins to stop. Maybe he could try to take slower, deeper breaths. That had always been the strategy. Usually, after that, the pain would go away.

 

It wasn’t

 

It was getting worse.

 

 _Much_ worse.

 

The sun only showed a tiny bit of itself over the horizon as Peter’s room had dim streaks of sunlight shining throwing his blinds. Everything was getting worse, but he didn’t want to wake his parents up. They needed their rest for once.

 

After all, who was the one that wakes them up with their cries from the constant nightmares?

 

Who was the one that wakes them up screaming as his lung is drowning in its own fluid?

 

Who was the one that left them unable to sleep sometimes because they were waiting for him to get out of the operating room?

 

_Him._

 

Peter knew that he had to deal with this on his own for once.

 

His muscles in his body were tense as it took most of his strength to hang them off the side of his bed. He whimpered and shut his eyes as he bent his upper body down slowly, pathetically picking up his oxygen tank from the floor and carefully sliding it onto his shoulder. Maybe if he could walk around for a little while, that might help ease the pain of his breathing.

 

Or at least, that's what he was hoping for.

 

As ripping sensation teared up his spine he brought his head back down to his knees. Each movement he made gave him the urge to succumb to the cancer eating away at his chest. He bit his bottom lip to keep the sobs in. If he spoke or made any noise, his suffering would only increase from here.

 

_‘Come…  on Peter… get up…’_

 

_‘You…  can do this…’_

 

His trembling legs straightened themselves when his feet made contact with the ground. He gripped his nightstand for support as he took small steps forward. His hand went towards the wall as it kept him upright on his way to his bathroom.

 

He was feeling a little better, thank God.

 

He would just have to stay upright and moving around until his chest would stop making his body plead for death.

 

It was hard to silence the wheezes that escaped his lips as they bounced off of his bedroom walls.

 

Hopefully, his parents wouldn’t hear them.

 

_‘Halfway…  there Pete…’_

 

_‘A few… more… steps…’_

 

_‘You can d-’_

 

That's when the most unforgiving pain ripped up abdomen, paralyzing him. His hand slipped off of the wall as his legs lost the confidence and the momentum that they had once gained. As he fell, the tiny breath he had was knocked out of him when his rib cage bashed against his oxygen tank.

 

He let out a small cry as his body instinctively curled up into a ball on the ground.

 

The floodgates in his chest opened as the agony from before rushed themselves back. Peter couldn’t pick himself back up as his body started to twitch uncontrollably.

 

He couldn’t scream for help.

 

He couldn’t cry.

 

The only sounds he could make were shaky wheezes that left him gasping for air.

 

All of his limbs were unresponsive as he lied on the ground, organs screaming.

 

Then he felt it.

 

The sting slowly growing as it traveled up his throat, causing it to itch.

 

A split second later, his chest started seizing with each violent cough that stole the tiny amount of breath he was trying to keep to himself. The copper taste sputtered out of his mouth with no mercy onto the sleeve of his shirt.

 

His eyes slowly fluttered open as he stared at the damage.

 

Even through the blur of his tears, he could see the large crimson spots painting his clothes and his carpet red.

 

He hadn't coughed up this in a while.

 

Blood.

 

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

 

“I’m still a bit hungover…” Tony murmured as he poured a good amount of vodka into a glass. “I can’t tell if you or your disappointing stare is real or not…”

 

“ _I_ am very real.”

 

Stark didn’t know if was the morning or not. He remembered last night in bits and pieces… he went on a blackout binge _again_ and woke up about ten minutes ago. He didn’t mean to drink to that extent… but when he was alone in his office last night he started thinking about his Dad… and then he woke up on the floor.

 

That happened often.

 

Along with a saying he had thought of when he was seventeen.

 

_Don’t think, drink._

 

Just like he was doing just now.

 

He didn't want to think about how shitty his life was at the moment. He didn’t want to think about how much Steve was most likely disappointed in him or how Peter was practically throwing himself at that Wade kid. All Tony wanted was to drink to forget about all of his problems for a few hours and if he had enough energy, later on, he could just deal with them later.

 

Tony glanced to the left before rolling his eyes. “You’re not going away anytime soon, are you?” He asked as he put the lid back on the bottle.

 

Steve crossed his arms, standing his ground. “No.” He said. “I’m sick and tired of this.”

 

He was sick and tired of seeing his husband destroy himself.

 

“Of what?” Tony asked.

 

“Your drinking,” Steve continued. “It’s getting out of hand-”

 

“Not really,”

 

“Yes, it is-”

 

Tony turned around to glare at his husband. “No, it’s not.” Why did Steve keep harassing him about this? Tony knew that he still had one hand on the wheel. He could control this if he really wanted to. Right now… he just didn’t have enough motivation.

 

“I’m bored,” He shrugged, “I can stop whenever I want to,”

 

“Then why don’t you?” Steve asked. If Tony could stop then why wasn’t he? His new drinking habits made him more irritable and this was making Peter even more scared of him. Not to mention, Steve knew that his husband had a high tolerance for alcohol, but for how long until his actions come back to him? What happens if Tony gets sick?

 

“Because…  I don’t want to.” Tony admitted.

 

Rogers sighed in defeat. Sometimes… he wondered why he was even still trying anymore. He was trying to be patient with Tony because he knew his husband had his own issues to deal with but Steve didn’t know how much more of this he could take or how much Peter could take. “And you expect me to believe that?”

 

Tony looked up at saw that look Steve was giving him.

 

God, he couldn't put into words how much he hated it.

 

“I could care less if you believe me or not, sweetheart.” Stark snapped. He took his glass off the kitchen counter and began making his way down towards his office. He didn’t have enough time or energy to deal with Steve’s _‘I’m disappointed in you, Tony.’_ look. He had more than enough to deal with and his husband trying to ‘ _help_ ’ wasn’t making it any better.

 

Steve brushed off another one of Tony’s comments. He knew that when Tony had too much to drink or when he was hungover… he said things that he didn’t mean.

    

“Tony…” Steve pleaded. He placed his hand on Tony’s shoulder, stopping him in his tracks. “Please… don’t do this.”

 

“Peter misses you… he rarely sees you anymore…” He continued. “And I know that I was absent too… but I'm back now. I'm trying to do better and be here for all of us...”

 

“Peter needs you… and I need you… please… please _please_ come back to us Tony.”

 

“Come back home to us…”  He begged. Steve missed his family. He missed Tony. He couldn't remember the last time they had a normal conversation or the last time they had slept peacefully together. Sometimes, Tony didn’t even come into their bedroom. But whenever he did, Steve took his cue to head over to one of the guest bedrooms.

 

Surprisingly, Steve missed it when Tony would geek out over the tiniest science flaw he would find in the movies that they watched together.

 

Steve missed it when Tony would talk to Peter and ask him how his day was going.

 

Steve wanted to go back to the time when Peter wasn’t afraid of his parents.

 

He missed seeing the caring side of Tony.

 

It’s been said that Tony Stark didn’t have a heart.

 

Steve knew that his husband did because he was one of the people lucky enough to have seen it.

 

But now… he had no idea where it went… or how to truly get it back.

 

Tony turned away as his eyes were more interested in the accents of his glass than his husband. Steve was silent, hoping to get a reaction out of Tony.

 

Anything to let him know that he still cared for his family.

 

Anything to let him know that he was willing to change so they could try to repair the damage that had been done.

 

Steve was expecting Tony to push him off or yell like he usually does, but he didn't.

 

A sly grin grew on Tony’s face as started shaking with laughter.

 

“Peter needs you…” He mimicked as he turned to face Steve. “And I need you… please, please… _please_ come back to us Tony.”

 

“What is this, A lifetime movie?” He asked as he _still_ continued chuckling dryly.

 

“Tony-” Steve tried.

 

Stark rolled his eyes as he ripped his arm out ofSteve'ss grip. He really didn’t understand what the big deal was? Why did his husband have to get overly emotional and overreact over the tiniest things? Stark knew he was fine… right now, he just needed some alone time and he would appreciate it if Steve could respect that and not follow him around, demanding attention like a lost puppy. “Thanks, Cap,” He smiled as he took a sip of his drink.  “That was a funny joke… I needed that.”

 

Steve pressed his fingers to his forehead in frustration. Why couldn’t Tony just… listen for once? Their family was falling apart and instead of communicating, Tony was just… drinking.  “I wasn’t joking with yo-”

 

Tony rolled his eyes as he continued walking. This useless ‘ _talk_ ’ between him and Steve was working his last nerve. He already had a headache, the room was spinning, and he was running low on alcohol. All he wanted was to drink in peace but Steve won’t stop nagging him about some unimportant shit that he could care less about. Tony's mind was buzzing as the thought of alcohol kept ringing through his brain along the chills went down his spine as his body craved for more. “I’m done talking to you, Capsicle,” Tony replied. “I’m exhausted.”

 

“I’m not-”

 

“Well, I am.” Tony said harshly, “Back off.”

 

“And if you want to bother someone, go bother Peter. I’m sure he would adore _your_ company instead of mine.”

 

“No-”

 

Stark continued towards his office, ignoring his husband. He didn’t have the patience to deal with anyone right now. “Good night, Steve,”

 

“Good morning, dad,” A voice said.

 

Tony’s dark eyes trailed upwards towards the sound. The landed on Peter, standing timidly at the bottom of the staircase. He glared at Peter as his son’s eyes looked down at the alcohol glass and then back up at him.

 

Tony turned towards Steve, his voice was low and his eyes were darker than usual. “As I’ve said before…” He growled, “I’m sure _he_ would enjoy your company instead of mine.”

 

And when Tony turned back up to look at Peter, it was evident that he was trying to hide the scowl on his face but it wasn’t working out very well. The depth of his dark brown eyes did all of the speaking for Tony when he left the room with a devastating silence behind him.  

 

As usual.

 

Peter dropped his shoulders as he began walking towards Steve. What did he do wrong this time?

 

_‘Maybe tomorrow morning…’_

 

He sighed as he took a seat at the dining room table. He bit his bottom lip as he took his backpack off of his shoulder. The bruises were getting worse and any little movements of his arms made it even worse. With a shaky hand, he removed his oxygen tank from his shoulder and placed it on the ground next to his chair. His shoulder felt a tiny bit better, but it was still screaming in agony. “Hi, Pa,” Peter said with a small forced smile on his face.

 

Steve was still leaning on the breakfast nook, facing the kitchen. He was rubbing his temples slowly as he took deep breaths in and out. “Hey, Pete.” He said.

 

“Are… are you… alright?” Peter asked. He knew it was a rhetorical question, but he had to let his father knew he cared.

 

The blond hesitated before speaking so he could calm himself down. The last thing he wanted was to accidentally snap at Peter. None of this was his fault… he just wished that Tony would communicate for once. Steve already apologized… so many times… but it seemed like it was not enough for Stark. What more does his husband want him to do?  “I’m okay,” Steve replied. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me,”

 

“How are you feeling?”

 

_‘It hurts to breathe and to walk…and I’m starting to cough up blood, again.’_

 

“I’m alright.”

 

“Good,” Steve said. “If anything comes up, please don't be afraid to tell me or Tony anything.”

 

“I know things aren’t the best between him and I right now, but he is still your father and he _does_ love you.”

 

Peter nodded slowly. He lost track of how many times he has heard Steve say that. As the days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, it was getting much harder to believe that. “Yeah… of course.” Peter said. “I know…”

 

“That’s good,” Steve said, walking into the kitchen. “I’m going to make you some breakfast.”

 

“Don’t forget to take your medication.”

 

“Right…” Peter murmured quietly. He hated taking all of this medication before every meal. It was understandably exhausting and he was sick of having a backpack full of pill bottles.

 

But Peter didn’t really have a choice, did he?

 

The choice was already made for him and it would just be easier for everyone else if he cooperated.

 

He reached over and unzipped his backpack slowly. He was trying to delay the process as much as possible. He reached in and grabbed out all five pill bottles. Every time he saw the bottles, it made him feel sicker than he already was.

 

“So,” Steve said, placing a glass of water on the table. “What do you feel like eating?”

 

“Anything,” Peter shrugged, opening the bottle of his anti-cancer medication.

 

Not like he had a choice anyway.

 

“Alright,” Steve said. He wasn’t very hungry, so he’ll only cook something for Peter and make a little extra just in case Tony was hungry. Steve hadn’t seen his husband eat… in days.

 

“So, has anything new happened that you want to tell me about?”

 

“No,” Peter answered. “Everything's the same.” Gwen and Wade were his only friends, group counseling still sucked, he was being told that he was better off dead, and Tony still hated him.

 

Steve nodded, “Okay…”

 

“Well… if you’re not too busy today, would you like to do something?” He asked, “The weather seems nice today.”

Peter felt happy for a few seconds before it vanished. It would be amazing to get some fresh air for once with Steve… but if Tony found out, he would be so angry. And whenever Tony was angry, the house would fill with his parents arguing and Peter would be upstairs hiding under his blankets and covering his ears so he wouldn’t have to hear them. “I don’t think I can,” Peter said. “I’m still grounded…”

 

“No, you’re not.”

 

“But  Dad told me I was.”

 

“And I’m telling you that you’re not,” Steve said. He still had a say in Peter’s life too. Tony wasn’t in complete control. “You’ve been cooped up inside for way too long. You deserve to go outside.”

 

“Won’t Dad get…” Peter hesitated. “Really mad?” He remembered the last time he went out when Steve said he could and Tony said he couldn’t. He got grounded, his phone taken away, and he ended up crying himself to sleep wishing that he were dead.

 

_{The end of Chapter 12}_

 

“Don’t worry about him, Pete,” Steve said. In order to keep Tony’s anger at bay, he could just make up something. He knew that he should always be honest … but Peter shouldn’t have to sacrifice his own happiness to keep Tony’s.

 

A small smile rose to Peter's face. “What place do you have in mind?” He asked. Finally, he was able to leave this house and go somewhere else other than school and the church on the weekdays.

 

“I was thinking we could go to this park,” Steve offered. “And you could even bring Wade if you want?”

 

“What?”

 

“You both rarely spend any time together.” His father continued. “If he wants, maybe he could come and the both of you guys can have a few hours to yourselves.”

 

Seeing Wade again… outside of school would be the highlight of Peter’s month. If Wade was free today… they would be alone, together.  But, nothing was ever this easy… was it? Something would get in the way… something would go wrong.

 

Something always does.

 

“Won’t dad get… really mad at the both of us if he finds out?” Peter asked.

 

“Well…” Steve replied.  “He can only get mad _if_ he finds out,”

 

“And I'm not planning to tell him.”

 

And there it was.

 

A full on smile from the once brooding teen.

 

_He had forgotten what those felt like._

 

“I’ll ask Wade today…  if he can go,” Peter said. “Thank you so much, Pa.”

 

Maybe today wouldn’t be too bad after all.

 

“You don’t have to thank me. You deserve it, Pete,”

 

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

 

“Think about it…” Wade said, leaning on Peter’s locker. “Are bathtubs just… reverse boats?”

 

“Are you high right now?” Gwen asked.

 

They were both at Peter’s locker waiting for him to show up. Gwen was there first since she arrived at school earlier and later on, Wade showed up expecting to see Peter, but instead, he found Gwen. Wade thought that this was a perfect opportunity for him and Gwen to get to know one another. He has seen her around in his previous years… but they never really talked to one another. Talking to people and making new friends wasn't that hard, right? They both already had one thing in common, they both really cared about Peter.

 

Gwen was sitting down on the floor, nose deep inside of a biology textbook. She was trying to ignore Wade continuous rambling… but he wouldn’t stop talking.

 

“When you think about it…” Wade wondered, “Who put the alphabet in alphabetical order?’

 

“Where did the alphabet even come from? How did it come into creation? Who took the time to make all the symbols?”

 

Gwen sighed quietly as she ignored Wade and continued reading her book. Maybe if she just didn’t say anything he would stop talking. Well, that’s what she had been hoping for the last fifteen minutes… but his mouth refused to stop moving.

 

She definitely needed to give Peter some credit for managing to put up with him on a daily basis.

 

Wade sat down on the ground next to Gwen. He was only trying to make a conversation and be friendly. His people skills weren’t really that great but hey, he was trying. Not to mention he was so bored… and when he needed to find a way to occupy himself and that was usually by talking… constantly.  “Whatcha’ doin?” Wade asked innocently.

 

“Reading,” Gwen murmured, turning a page.

 

“Wanna know what I wanna know?” Wade asked.

 

“Not really-” Gwen tried

 

“If two mind readers read each other's mind, whose mind are they reading?”

 

The blonde buried her head in her hands, “You talk a lot,”

 

“So I’ve been told… but hey,” Wade replied happily. “Someone has to keep this conversation going.”

 

She lifted her head from her hands and made direct eye contact with the babbling teen. “I have an idea.” She proposed. “Let’s play a game.”

 

“- I believe that water isn’t actually wet… What? You have games on your phone?”

 

“I can’t download any on my phone…” Wade admitted sadly. “I have no space because I have too many pictures of dogs and I can’t bring myself to delete them.”

 

“The quiet game…” Gwen whispered. “It’s where none of us talks… for five whole minutes… doesn’t that sound like fun?”

 

Wade pondered on that thought… it was an easy answer. “No, not really. Silence is quite dangerous…  because if I’m left alone with my thoughts for too long… yikes.”

 

“Please stop talki-”

 

Wade took the book from Gwen and started skimming through some of the pages. Didn’t he have a biology test today that he decided not to study for? He might as well use some of the time to study now and ramble on to Gwen. He didn’t mean to brag but he was a professional multi-tasker. “You know what I’ve always wondered?”

 

“No.”

 

“Let’s say you’re in a restaurant, right? And if you’re waiting on the waiter… then aren’t you the waiter?”

 

“And… have you ever noticed that when you buy a bigger bed… you have more bed _room…_ but less bedroom, get it?”

 

 _“Adenine… guanine… cytosine… and thymine…”_ Wade murmured to himself.

 

“Whoa blondie…” Wade continued, “Do you know that today is the oldest you’ve ever been but the youngest you’ll ever be again?”

 

_“Retrovirus…” Wade read quietly. “Any of a group of RNA viruses that insert a DNA copy of their genome into the host cell in order to replicate…”_

 

_“Hyperplasia… the enlargement of an organ or tissue caused by an increase in the reproduction rate of its cells, often as an initial stage in the development of cancer...”_

 

“Can I ask you a question, Stacy?”

 

“You just did.”

 

Wade closed the book and gave it back to her, he was done studying. He had given a whole two minutes and he was absolutely exhausted. He turned towards Gwen, looking her directly in the eye. “What does water taste like?”

 

“Hey, guys…” A voice said. “What are you doing on the floor… near my locker?’

 

Wade and Gwen looked up at Peter staring down at them.

 

“We were waiting for you.” They said together.

 

Wade stood up almost immediately. “You look really nice today,” He smiled.

 

Peter looked down at his clothes silently. Black converse… dark jeans…and a black shirt along with a dark flannel draped over it. “I wear this everyday… I am not beautiful... ” He murmured.

 

“You shut your gorgeous mouth!” Wade commanded. It was a shame that Peter didn’t see how amazing he was. He was freakishly smart, talented, and anyone with eyes could see how beautiful he was. Wade also knew that sometimes Peter felt self-conscious because of the cannula but Wade simply reminded his boyfriend that with or without it, he was still eye-candy. Wilson was going to try everything in his power to help Peter build up his self-confidence. So, whenever he saw him around, he complimented him. Peter was the best and strongest person he has ever met, and Wade knew it was his job to remind him every single day. “Doesn’t he look amazing today, Gwen?”

 

“You look like a nerd everyday…” She chimed in, “But you’re my favorite nerd, so it’s okay.”

 

Peter smiled as he opened his locker. What would he do without his only two friends?

 

~~_He probably wouldn’t have made it this far._ ~~

Whenever he had Gwen and Wade by his side, his day instantly got better.

 

The everyday crap going on didn’t really matter. When he was with them, it was just easier to forget.

 

“Thanks for waiting for me you guys, I really appreciate it.” Peter admitted sheepishly. “Y’know… It’s kinda nice to not feel alone all the time.”

 

Wade slipped his hand around Peter's sides, pulling him closer. “You’ll always have me and Blondie to keep you company.”  The only thought on Wade’s mind lately was making his boyfriend happy and doing anything in his power to keep him that way.

 

“Alright, well…” Gwen began, “I’ll see you in history, Pete.”

 

“You and Wade should get some alone time for once…” She felt like she was overstaying her welcome anyway. She could talk to Peter whenever she wanted to. After all, they had many classes together but Wade on the other hand only had biology with him. It wasn't too often that they actually saw each other in the hallways and the mornings were one of the times where Peter and Wade could spend some time together.

 

“Oh,” Peter said. “Okay, I’ll see you.”

 

Stacy started walking away as, “ _Au revoir_ , Wilson,” Escaped her lips.

 

“ _Adiós_ , Blondie,” Wade said as she disappeared into the crowd of students.

Peter grabbed some of the books he needed for the day before closing his locker. He turned towards Wade as his boyfriend wrapped both arms around his waist. Peter just stared up at him as Wade looked down with bright eyes and a warm grin on his face. “My face hurts so much... but I can’t stop smiling…” Wade spoke up.

 

“You make me so…  happy.”

 

“This is going to sound really stupid… but I can’t put into words how you make me feel. I dont know, its just… I feel like you're someone I can actually talk to and... trust.”

 

“When I'm with other people… it feels like I'm … disconnected from them. Like, there they're and I'm taking to them… but I don't think they actually understand what I'm saying or how I'm feeling...”

 

“But with you, I feel like... I can be honest… and-” Wade said before he stopped himself and looked down at his shoes. “Nevermind…” He said, “I must sound like a complete idiot right now.”

 

“You don’t,” Peter said quickly. “You don’t sound like an idiot,”

 

Wade looked back at Peter’s eyes as he tried to contain his overflowing embarrassment.

 

They were not judgemental.

 

They weren't full of humor either.

 

They were soft and patient, as always.

 

“Even after everything I put you and your family though, you still put up with me.” Wade continued. “What you're doing… takes a lot and… I'm sure most people would have given up on this relationship if they were in your shoes… but you didn’t.”

 

“You mean… everything to me…” He  “And _te amo_ … _te amo_ … oh my god I just can’t put into words how much I fucking love you.” Wade let out a shaky laugh when he was finished. He was surprised that he actually made it through this. He had been holding this in for a while and some of it finally came out. Admitting his feelings wasn't really his best skill… but somehow Peter gave him the confidence to keep going when he practically gave up.

 

“And not to mention… you’re like… the perfect size for cuddling…” He confidently murmured. “Your body fits right into mine. No place misses out on my hugs... you get the full hug… all my love.”

 

“What would you ever do without me?” Asked Peter.

 

Wade shrugged happily, “Crash and burn.”

 

“So… ummm... I know this is last minute but are you free after school today?” Peter asked. “My Dad and I are planning to go out… and it would be awesome if you could come too...”

 

“It’s totally fine if you’re busy-”

 

“I’m not busy at all,” Wade blurted. The only plan he had this afternoon was to watch bollywood movies and eat ice cream.  “But… Doesn’t Tony still hate me?  wouldn't he… I dunno…  skin me alive, use my dry skin as a canvas and my blood as fingerpaint?”

 

“He doesn’t hate you… ” Peter said, “And that’s ridiculous… he doesn't paint.”

 

“And It’s Steve… he offered.”

 

Wade’s eyes darted to the side for a few seconds He didn’t know if this was a good idea or not. It was evident Tony Stark loathed him and if he ever saw him within two feet of Peter… the end result would be disastrous. “Still… I dont know… He’s freaking... Tony Stark, won't he find out?”

 

”Well…” Peter trailed of, “Tony has been… a bit…   _busy_ with other things lately… so he won’t, don’t worry.”  

 

Happiness swelled inside of Wade before it was swept away with more anxiety. Sure this was an awesome opportunity to spend time with Peter outside of group counseling and school and Tony wouldn't find out to yell at Peter for it later, But  Wade couldn't calm his nervous about Steve. The last time they spoke was when Wade came over for dinner. After everything that had happened, did Steve grow to resent him too? “Hey, uhhh…” Wade started. “Steve… doesn’t… Steve and I are still cool, right?”

 

“Of course,” Peter said instantly. Steve never talked poorly of Wade and complimented him most of the time. “Steve could never dislike you…”

 

“Are you sure it would be okay if I came?” Asked Wade, again.

 

“It would make my day.”

 

Wade sighed quietly as he put some more thought into his answer. Don’t get him wrong, he loved Peter a lot and since this would make his boyfriend happy... every fiber he had was telling him to say yes. But, Wade couldn’t help but think that he was just… weighing Peter down. If it weren’t for him,  his boyfriend would have a relationship with his father and his parents would be happy.

 

Love wasnt about possession… it was about sacrifice. He wanted Peter, he wanted him _badly._ But because they were together his life was slowly falling downhill. All Wade wanted was for Pete to be happy… if they weren’t together… he would be happier, wouldn’t he? Wade would end up sacrificing his happiness for his boyfriend’s, but that's what love is about, isnt it?

 

He knew he wasn’t good enough for Peter anyway. He was so pure. Wade had already lost his virginity at fifteen… hd sex with more people he could count… partied hard and already experienced drugs and alcohol. Wasn’t Peter better off with Gwen?

 

“Hey…” Peter whispered, interrupting Wade’s thoughts. “You don’t have to come if you don’t want to. I’m not going to force you to do something that you don't want to do.”

 

And the look in Peter’s eyes…

 

They weren’t impatient.

They weren’t angry either.

 

They were soft and patient, as always.

 

Maybe Wade should take his own advice and be selfish for once. He wanted Peter… and he wanted him _badly_.

 

“You just gave me an offer I couldn’t refuse…” Wade said. “What time should I be there?”

 

“Around-” Peter tried, but he stopped himself when he felt _it_.

 

Cold eyes.

 

He turned towards his left and saw _them_. It was Liz Allen’s glare piercing right through him. Her dark eyes were full of venom that poisoned him silently and slowly.

 

He looked towards the right of her and saw other people too looking at him too. Some were talking and others were just staring.

 

_‘Oh god.’_

 

“What’s going - _oh_.” Wade said.

 

“I hate it when people stare… at me,” Peter admitted. Any time he went out in public some people had no problem talking and pointing. He thought that he should just be used to it by now, but he wasn’t. Now, all he wanted to do was spend some time with his boyfriend but of course people just couldn’t leave him alone for five minutes.

 

“Kiss me.” Wade blurted.

 

Peter ripped his gaze away from the other students.“What?”

 

“Public displays of affection make people very uncomfortable.”

 

“Yeah,” Peter agreed. “They do-”

 

Wade didn’t hesitate to press his lips onto Peter’s, silencing him.

 

Neither of them pulled away.

 

Damn this was nice.

 

They haven’t had a kiss like this in awhile.

 

The tension Peter felt was slipping away as the thought of the other students and Liz watching him… ceased to exist. People could stare at him and talk about him all they wanted to. At this point in his life, he was mostly happy with someone he loved. It didn’t matter what they thought about him because they don't matter him.

 

It doesn’t  matter what they think. It never did and it never will.

 

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

 

The hallway wasn’t too crowded when the bell dismissing lunch rang. Peter managed to eat an apple today. It was an odd feeling, he was hungry but he didn’t feel like eating. It wasn’t too bad though, he had Gwen by his side and she was talking to him about all the things going on in her life at the moment.

 

“I’m just so nervous, Pete…” She continued. “I have this internship at Oscorp starting in the spring… and I hope I can still keep up with school…”

 

“You will, Gwen,” Peter said. “Don’t worry about it.”

 

Gwen sighed, shaking her head. “I will be working with Norman Osborn and… he’s so scary… what if I mess up?  I swear I'm such a clutz sometimes...”

 

“Gwen… you'll be okay.” Peter reassured her. If anyone could do this, it was her. She was the most responsible seventeen year old he has ever met. She has worked her ass off to get to the place where she is now so he can get in an awesome college and make a difference in the world.

 

Peter had always wanted to do that.

 

Graduate high school.

 

Go to college.

 

Get a job.

 

But, let’s be real here…

 

He wouldn’t live long enough to see himself achieve that.

 

“You won't mess up…”He continued. “And even if you do… Norman Osborn is-”

 

He stopped himself before continuing. He wanted to use the correct word to describe Mr.Osborn. The last time they had spoken was a couple years ago when Harry was alive. Norman was a bit of  cold person from what Peter gathered. He was distant and because of that, Harry had always felt like his father didn’t even like him.

 

Peter tried to reassure Harry that his father does love him, but his friend never believed him.

 

He died thinking that his father didn’t love him.

 

Sometimes Peter wondered if he would share that same fate too.

 

“A bit… _reserved_.” Peter mustered out. “But, I’m sure he would appreciate all the hard work you’re putting in.”

 

All Gwen wanted to do was make a change. She didn’t want money or fame… she just wanted to save lives. She knew exactly what she wanted and who she wanted to become. This internship at Oscorp is one step in helping her get into her dream school and building a career for herself. She wanted to give her other younger brother someone to look up to and her mother proud.

 

Maybe her father wasn’t around anymore, but she knew he only wanted the best for her.

 

“I just…” She said. “I just want to do something important.”

 

“I don’t want to waste my life…”

 

“And you’re not going to.” Peter replied. “You’re going to complete the internship, get into Oxford, and do amazing things in molecular medicine.”

 

“I’m sure of it,”

 

The self-doubt crept back into Gwen’s mind. Weren’t the top colleges all about influence? She was… a nobody. If it was between her and someone like Peter for example, wouldn’t they pick him instead of her? Not because of grades and extracurriculars… but because of his influence.

 

His father was Tony freaking Stark afterall.

 

He could get into any college he wanted to.

 

If she were up against someone with that type of influence, she was sure that they wouldn’t even look at her application. “I probably wasn't going to get into Oxford anyway…” She murmured to herself.

 

“Everyone at this school would beg to differ.”

 

If only the other students knew how hard she working and how stressed she was all the damn time. One slip up… one bad grade and it could be the end for her career that hasn’t even started yet. “There’s a seventeen percent acceptance rate.”

 

“And you will be apart of the seventeen percent that will get in.” Peter replied.

 

“No, I won’t.” She sighed. “People have to be…  a freaking genius to get in.”

 

Peter couldn’t understand why Gwen doubted herself so much. He was pretty sure she was the ideal student and the perfect child. “Good thing you're a genius then.” He said.

 

“I don’t know Pete-”

 

“Speak it into existence.” He said.

 

“Pete-”

 

“C’mon Gwen… just say it!”

 

“I will... get into Oxford.” She mustered out, staring down at her shoes.

 

“That was extremely pitiable,” Peter said, “Try again.”

 

Gwen sighed as she looked into Peter’s eyes. He looked up at her with kind eyes, awaiting a response. “I will get into Oxford.” She said a bit more confidently. It was hard to believe it.. But Peter was helping her get through her self-doubt.

 

Peter smiled at her. “That wasn’t too hard.” He said. All he wanted to see before he died was to see Gwen succeed and be happy. He only wanted the best for her, always.

 

Gwen was surprised that she actually laughed. A real one for the first time in awhile. “Thanks Pete,” She said. “You’re my best friend. Sometimes, I don’t know what I would do without you.”

 

“You don’t really need me, Gwen.” Peter admitted. Gwen didn’t really need anyone. Anything one person could do, she could do it ten times better.

 

“That’s not true.”

 

“Trust me,” Peter disagreed. “It is-”

 

_“Hey Pete, wait!”_

 

_“It’s me!”_

 

_“Hey!”_

 

Peter and Gwen both turned around towards the feminine voice. The short brown curls, the tan skin, and the round glasses looked too familiar, but he couldn’t recognize where if was from completely. Maybe Peter and the girl shared a few classes together? Or maybe they had spoken to one another before?

 

“Hey…” Peter trailed off.

 

_He couldn’t remember her name._

 

“Hey Betty.” Gwen said also.

 

_‘Oh’_

 

“Can I…” She stammered. “Walk with you guys?”

 

“Sure,” Peter said. He would love to make a new friend. “I know you, right? You look really familiar.”

 

Betty looked up at him wide eyed. Had he really forgotten who she was? “Yeah… I think we're friends… or acquaintances at least…” She laughed nervously. “We met at Wade’s party earlier this year…”

 

“I spilled my drink on myself and you… you umm got me napkins, remember?”

 

“Oh,”

 

She rubbed the back of her head nervously, wondering if she should even continue. Was she already embarrassing herself around Peter, again?  “We also have a few classes together… I’m in your English,  history,  calculus,  and… Photography class…”

 

“We have even spoken to each other a couple times…” She let out a shaky laugh.  “It’s such a small world...”

 

Peter felt a bit guilty when he couldn’t even remember Betty’s name. How did he have four classes with someone and still fail to recognize them? “Sorry about that…” He said,

 

“Don’t mind Peter,” Gwen said jokingly, “He wouldn't be able to tie his own shoes without me.”

 

Peter turned towards her and tried to hold back his laugh. “That’s true,”

 

Betty looked up at the both of them in awe. She _hoped_ that she would be that happy with someone one day.

 

She wished that it could be with Peter.

 

At this point in her life, she would give almost anything for Peter to look at her the way he looked at Gwen.

 

_‘Soft’_

 

_‘Vibrant’_

 

_‘Loving’_

 

Earlier in the school year Betty asked Gwen if she and Peter were dating.

 

She gave a simple _‘No’_ and said that they never would.

 

That was good news.

 

Really good news.

 

That meant that she might have a chance with Peter.

 

From her knowledge, he was single just like she was.

 

_‘Say something.’_

 

_‘Say something._

 

_‘But don’t say something stupid.’_

 

_‘But what can I say?’_

 

“I like your shirt,” Peter spoke up.

 

Betty looked at him with her lips parted in surprise. “M-Me?” She asked, placing a hand on her chest.

The corners of Peter’s lips rose up the tiniest, “Yeah…” He said. “It’s really cool… I like it.”

 

His smile was contagious as it made Betty’s nervous increase just the tiniest bit in a way that also made her smile. It was such a strange feeling. Whenever she was around him she felt scared and happy all at the same time.

 

She would never get used to it…

 

But it felt… euphoric.

 

“T-Thanks… my favorite superhero…  is Wonder Woman…” She lied.

 

In all honesty, she didn't like Wonder Woman. She didn't care for comics in general. The only reason why she had this shirt was because she knew who Peter’s favorite superhero was. He hoped that if she wore this shirt, maybe Peter would notice her one day.  

 

It took up most of her courage to approach him today. They weren’t really friends so he knew nothing about him. It sounded a bit creepy but because she was too shy a few months ago, she hoped that he had a social media page that she could lookup to know him better without actually talking about him.

 

He didn’t have one.

 

So, she eventually came to terms that she would have to… _talk_ to him without any prior knowledge about him.

 

From what she gathered from Gwen, Betty found out who his favorite superhero was and the type of music that he liked. She thought with this new information… she could change herself a _tiny_ bit so maybe Peter would talk to her more.

 

After all when you like someone, both of you have to have at least one interest, right?

 

She didn’t really like superheroes  or Metallica, Black Sabbath, or ACDC, but she knew Peter did.

 

Metal wasn’t her taste of music… but there was this time in in photography when Peter was quietly singing this slipknot song to himself…  

 

Wow.

 

She didn’t know he could sing.

 

And if it meant that they could actually talk about something… then she would continue _‘liking’_ those things for him.

 

“Really?” Peter asked as his smile grew. For some reason, it was rare to find someone that actually liked superheroes. When he was younger, Harry used to call him a nerd. “She’s my favorite superhero too.”

 

_‘I know,’_

 

“What about you, Gwen?” He asked.

 

She shrugged, “Aquaman… I guess…  Jason Momoa is pretty hot.”

 

“Lame.” Peter said.

 

_‘Maybe… I can ask him out today…’_

 

_‘He might even… say yes…’_

 

_‘Or not,’_

 

Betty knew that if she wanted to tell him how she really felt, she would have to woman up and just talk to him.

Her number one fear was that if she asked him… and he said no, she might’ve ruined a perfectly good friendship forever.

 

Okay, maybe they weren’t exactly _‘friends’_ yet but she might ruin their _‘acquaintance’_ status they had together _._

 

She remembered the last time she tried to ask him out on a date. To this day, she still couldn’t figure out how she tripped and bashed her nose on the floor in photography class.

 

Betty was embarrassed out of her mind because other students just kinda… stared as some started laughing.

 

But not Peter.

 

He was the _only_ student that actually came over to her and helped her up, asking if she was okay.

 

That was when she held his hand for the first time.

 

It was only for a few seconds… but hey, she wasn’t complaining.

 

After that, she tried talking to him.

 

And of course with her luck, that didn’t end up very well.

 

The endless stream of words that came out of her mouth made no sense so she decided that it was better off if she stopped talking…

 

So Peter ended up doing most of the talking.

 

She didn’t know it was possible to have an hour long conversation about camera lenses. Well, not necessarily a conversation because that would require at least two people to speak.

 

It was really just Peter talking and Betty simply… listening to the sound of his voice.

 

After that moment they shared together… Betty couldn’t keep track of how many time she was just staring at Peter.

 

And how many times he had caught her staring.

 

Maybe Peter did like her? Once, he winked at her with both eyes.

 

Or maybe he blinked?

 

Never mind that, it didn’t matter now. The past was already gone and Betty knew she had to focus on the now.  She won’t allow herself any longer to keep all of her feelings inside. She had to stop overthinking this just let this dumb shit out.

 

It was either Peter liked her, or he didn’t.

 

There was no way she was going to screw up asking him out this time. She rehearsed this conversation in her bathroom mirror this morning.

 

She was ready for a potential boyfriend…

 

Or the feeling of an awkward rejection.

 

Gwen looked down at Peter and Betty. Peter, no surprise, was just rambling on about Wonder Woman, and Betty wasn't saying anything to him. Her wide brown eyes were staring up in awe at him as he continued talking.

 

How did Peter not notice?

 

It was evident that Betty Brant had a huge crush on him.

 

Gwen was not sure if it was her place to tell Betty that Peter had a boyfriend.

 

Even if,  Peter was old enough to handle himself, right? If  push came to shove, Betty would find out sooner or later.

Was being silent the correct thing to do?

 

Oh well.

 

She had more important things to worry about than Peter’s love life at the moment.

 

“Alright this is my class,” Gwen said, “See you Pete.”

 

“Good luck, Betty.” She murmured as she walked off into the mostly empty classroom.

 

“Bye, Gwen,” Peter said.

 

He turned back towards Betty. “Looks like it's just us,” He said shooting her a smile.

 

That damned smile…

 

“Yeah…” She returned the gesture, “It’s just us now… alone…” She stared up at him, examining all his features. It was strange how his hair was a mess… but styled at the same time. Did that make any sense? And how were his eyelashes were so long?

 

Peter really needed to tell her his skin care routine. He was the only high schooler she knew with completely clear skin.

 

Not a single trace of acne.

 

And of course he had the nasal cannula… but it didn’t change her thought on how beautiful he was.

 

How was he so perfect?

 

_“Umm, Betty?”_

 

His voice snapped her back to the land of the living, “Oh- what?”

 

“You’re....” He laughed nervously, “Still smiling…”

 

“Oh,” She said, looking away.

 

_‘Idiot’_

 

_‘Idiot’_

 

_‘Stop being such a creep’_

 

“Sorry,” She blurted. “ I can stop…  if you want me to.”

 

_‘Stop smiling’_

 

_‘Stop smiling’_

 

“Wait, I didn’t mean it like that…” Peter apologized, “I-I like it… you should smile more often, it's really pretty.”

 

She could feel the red rush up into her cheeks as she tried to calm herself down.

 

_‘Did he just call me… pretty?’_

 

_‘No, he didn’t’_

 

_‘Yes… he did’_

 

She quickly turned her attention back up to him. Her heart pounded rapidly as she felt the blood rushed into her face. “You think… you think… you think I’m actually pretty?” She asked. That was… _odd_. The only people that had called her pretty  were her aunt and her uncle. Betty never considered herself to be attractive because she looked nothing like the other girls that all the other guys were lusting over. Such as Mary Jane or Liz Allen. She couldn’t blame them though… they were perfect

.

Betty though on the other hand… she had round glasses sitting on her nose that she continuously had to keep on pushing up. Het hair wasn’t as _‘neat’_ or straight as other girls’. It was curly and it was a hassle to keep it down in the mornings. Her face wasn’t as clear and her stomach wasn’t freakishly thin like theirs. MJ and Liz had more friends than Betty could count and not to mention their families were definitely upper class…

 

And yet… someone thought she was… pretty?

 

“You think that…  I’m pretty?” She asked.

 

“Of course” Peter replied. “Have you taken a look at yourself?”

 

“I don't think that I'm attractive much… I don't look like any of the other girls here... “ She murmured.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Have you taken a look at MJ?” She asked. “Or Liz allen?”

_________________________________

_“Can’t you just do everyone a favor and disappear?”_

 

_“How’s your stretched asshole, Peter?”_

________________________________

 

“Yeah...” Peter said quietly, “What about them?,”

 

“They’re just… so much better than me… I wish I was different...” She admitted. She remembered when she tried to be Mary Jane’s friend…

 

She looked at Betty and laughed before walking away.

 

_‘Sometimes I wish I could look like them.’_

 

“Don't say that,.” Peter said, “Just because they look different than you, that doesn't mean that they're better than you in any way…”

 

“If this means anything” He continued,  “I think that you are really beautiful. It’s unhealthy to compare yourself to other people… I know because I used to do that  and I still do sometimes. I don’t believe that you should change for anyone… and if someone makes you, then they're not worth your time.”

 

Betty sighed, shaking her head. “I’m… I’m not perfect... There are just so many things about me I wish I could change.”

 

”Everyone has flaws,” Peter said. “ But I think that the main purpose of a healthy relationship, romantic or platonic, is to never let the other person know they’re there.”

 

_‘Go Betty!’_

 

_‘Ask him out!’’_

 

_‘Do it now… here’s your chance…’_

 

“Speaking on relationships....” She started slowly. There was no way she was going to mess this up. She was going admit her feelings to him and ask him out.

 

Easier said than done.

 

“Do you like horror movies?” She asked.

 

“I-”

 

“Wait, you do…” She interrupted him accidentally. “Except clowns because you're terrified of clowns,”

 

_‘Wait, He doesn’t know that I know that…’_

 

Betty tried to catch her breath and get rid of the heartbeat pounding in the back of her throat. How was she already managing to screw up?

 

“I mean… I’m just guessing you’re scared of clowns… because who isn’t, right?” He chuckled nervously.

 

Peter nodded slowly, “Yeah, I am terrified of them.” It was impossible to put into words how scared he was of them. They were so fucking creepy. His fear was so bad, that the only Stephen King book he hasn’t read was ‘IT’

 

All because of that damn clown.

 

_‘Nice save…’_

 

_‘Try again…’_

 

_‘Don’t mess up…’_

 

“I’ll start over,” Betty said, She could do this if she just calmed down... “Do you like to… umm… to watch a things?”

 

“Watch a things?” Peter repeated.

 

“Wait… sorry,” Betty facepalmed herself. “ I meant movies… do you like movies?”

 

“Yeah,” Peter replied. He remembered when Wade took him to the movies a while ago. A smile rose to his face with the distant thought. He couldn’t believe Wade bought the whole back row just for them. Wade held his hand and kissed him over and over again, reminding him how much he loved him before they went outside and gazed up at the stars.

 

Betty noticed how Peter was smiling again…

 

That _damned_ smile and his soft eyes…

 

“Swasome…  I meant sweat and awesome…” She blurted. Darn Peter for flashing her his cute smile. It was that feeling of nervousness and happiness that swelled up inside of her that left her unable to speak correctly sometimes.

 

“Sweat?” Peter asked.

 

“Sweet! I meant sweet!” She apologized, “Sorry… I’m such an idiot… I’m so tongue tied today.”

 

“Don't worry about it,” Peter said. “It happens to all of us.”

 

Betty took a deep breath in trying to calm down her racing heartbeat. It was either now or never. “You know… I like movies..” She began. “And... and you like movies… and I was thinking that... I dunno...”

 

_‘Let it out,’_

 

_‘Just ask him’_

 

_‘Do it!’_

 

“I like you alot, Peter.” Betty blurted, “Would you like to see a movie with me this saturday?”

 

Peter stared down at her before speaking. His expression was unreadable and Betty couldn’t tell if she was about to get rejected or not.

 

_‘Oh god…’_

 

_‘He’s going to say no, isn’t he?’_

 

“I really like you too, Betty,” He finally said, “You’re a good friend.”

 

“And I don’t know if I can make it _this_ weekend… but I would love to see that movie with you. Can we invite Gwen? It could be a night out between the three of us.”

 

_‘Oh,’_

 

“Yeah…” Betty murmured quietly. It wasn’t a _complete_ loss… Peter thought of them just as friends and there was nothing wrong with that. It still hurt none the less, but maybe she could ask again later when they have a stronger relationship. For the time being, she’ll have to settle for being in the friendzone.   “That sounds… great.”

 

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

 

“You and Dad wanted a healthy, happy, and normal family but instead… you got stuck with… me. I screwed everything up for the both of you…  and for that… I’m sorry.” Peter whispered.

 

Steve was sitting on the couch as Peter lied down on his leg with a blanket draped over his lower body.  He and his father had been talking about everything that had happened between them… and Peter couldn't help but feel like this was all his fault.

 

If his parents had gotten  a different child… one who wasn’t a disappointment… one who wasn’t sick… they would be happy, wouldn’t they?

“Peter… none of this is your fault.” Steve said, rubbing small circles on Peter’s backside. “You didn’t screw up anything up for anyone…” It hurt him that Peter felt this way. Like he was a burden or that He and Tony would be happier if he weren’t around.

 

That’s the farthest thing from the truth.

 

Peter meant the world to him and Tony. Even if his husband wasn’t showing it now, he was certain that his love for his son didn’t just suddenly just go away. Not even a little.

 

Steve guessed that Tony was doing this because he cared too much. Once Tony could finally pull his head out of his ass and see what’s really going on… they could all work on repairing their relationships and getting back to the way that they were before.

 

“He is still your father, Peter.” Steve continued. “And he loves you… so so much.

 

“Then… then why doesn’t he talk to me?” Peter asked. The tears slipped down his face and stained Steve’s dark blue jeans. “Lately… it seems like… my very existence annoys him.”

 

“C’mon, Peter…” Steve said. “That’s not true.”

 

Peter used his hand to wipe away the tears falling off of his face.“He can’t even look at me…” His voice broke. “And anytime I try to say something it’s like my voice pisses... him off...”

 

“I feel… like I’m causing him to isolate himself,”

 

Steve sighed. At this point, he didn’t know what he could say anymore. The only person that could get Peter out of this mindset was Tony himself… but with the way he has been acting, it doesn’t seem like that is going to happen anytime soon.“He’s just…” He tried. “Not in the right state of mind… just try to give him some more time.”

 

“It’s been four months.” Peter murmured. “I keep trying... so _so_ hard… and sometimes I wonder if there’s even a point anymore.”

 

“I’m just…so… so… tired…”

 

He didn’t know how much longer of this he could take.

 

“Pete, you can’t give up… your father needs you now in his life more than ever…”  It was selfish, but Steve needed Peter to keep on trying because if he gave up on Tony, Steve was sure Tony would give up on himself too.

 

And if Tony did… then there would be no way to get him back.

 

He would be too far gone.

 

“T-Then where… where is he?” Peter asked.

 

His father stopped the circling motions on his back. “What?” He asked.

 

“W-Why isn’t he here?” Peter asked, his fell quiet with the sob he was trying to hold back. His eyes stung as he was trying to keep himself from trembling. “W-Why isn’t he here to tell me this... himself?

 

“Pete…”

 

“Where... did he go?” He cried. “W-Where is my dad?”

 

“I don’t know,” Steve admitted. He didn’t know where the real Tony went and all the attempts of getting him back seemed useless .But no matter what, he made a promise. He was going to stay by Tony’s side to help him get better because deep down, Steve knew that Tony was hurting and he needed help.

 

But the question is… how do you help someone who doesn’t want to be helped?

 

“Your father has been going through a really rough time because of-”

 

“Me?” Peter asked. After all, it would make sense.

 

“No…” Steve answered. It was about time he told Peter about Tony’s problem anyway. They were all equals, weren't they? Peter had a right to know. “Your father… he… sometimes, he drinks because he’s stressed,” How was he going to explain Tony’s alcoholism?

 

To Peter of _all_ people.

 

“Am… I the reason why he took it back up?” His son asked.

 

“No… these things happen… and it's _our_ job to be there for him,”

 

“He may be acting a little different… but we just need to be patient with him.  If he says or does something that hurts you… please remember that he doesn't mean it. When he drinks… he gets really angry or he gets really sad… his moods are very … unpredictable… ”

 

“It’s not right what he and I both put you through…. So just remember that this is not your fault.”

 

Peter cleared his throat and wiped his tears. So, Tony… drinks a lot… and he had mood swings and yells at him?

He shook his head. There must’ve been something else… that couldn't be it.

 

There had to be more.

 

“How do we help him?” Peter asked.

 

Steve sighed, returning th circling motion to his son’s back. That was what Steve had been wondering for weeks.“I’ll be honest with you… I think it’s when he wants to be helped.”

 

“And when will that be?”

 

“I don't know Pete,” His father answered.

 

“I don't know anymore.”

 

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

 

Peter kept his oxygen taking in his lap as the soft hum of the car’s engine was drowned out by the classical music coming from Steve’s radio.

 

They were on their way to the park.

 

The only thing keeping Peter together was the thought of seeing Wade.

 

Peter’s icy fingernails trailed down the fabric of the carrying case of his tank. He played around with the loose thread as he tried to distract himself from the pain consuming both of his shoulder blades.

 

He could feel the bruise practically getting worse but he didn't want to say anything. His parents were already stressed enough and the last thing they needed was even more. Not to mention, if they found out, he would be switched back to his old tank that he had to roll around in a heartbeat.

 

It made him stand out even more than he already did.

 

_‘Stupid life,’_

 

_‘Stupid cancer,’_

 

_‘Stupid me,’_

 

“You alright?” Steve asked, nudging Peter’s shoulder.

 

The teen tried his best not to wince as the pain exploded through his veins.

 

“Yea...” Peter whimpered. Maybe it would eventually go away or he would just get used to it. “I’m… perfect,”

 

“Peter,” Steve began. He could tell from the tone of Peter's voice that he was in pain. “Tell me,”

 

The teen’s eyes darted to the outside of the window. He didn't want to tell his father about the bruise because Tony would find out and then he won’t stop yelling at him for not telling them and they would all be in a huge mess-

 

“Pete,” Steve repeated, “You can tell me anything… please…”

 

_‘It’s getting a lot harder to breathe… and I’m starting to cough up blood…’_

 

“My chest hurts sometimes…” He admitted. He didn’t want to lie to his Dad, but he didn’t want to tell him the exact truth either.

 

Steve’s eyes darted towards his son before turning back towards the road. He wanted Peter to be comfortable telling him anything, especially when it came to his health.“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” Steve asked, his voice was quick and full of worry. “How long has this been going on?”

 

“Since this morning...” Peter lied.

 

_‘Past few weeks,’_

 

“Are you…” Steve continued. “Feeling okay?”

 

_‘‘Not really,’_

 

Peter nodded his head. “Yeah, of course”

 

“Does it hurt to breathe?”

 

_‘Yes… a lot… sometimes...’_

 

“No,” Peter replied, taking a deep breath in.

 

“Are you feeling... lightheaded?”

 

_‘And kind of tired…’_

 

“Pa… I’m alright, I promise,“ Peter began., “I think it’s because of the colder weather.” He had to give an excuse.”My breathing is fine… it’s just some tightening in my chest.”  

 

“I’m sorry for not telling you… I didn’t want you to worry.”

 

“Okay,” Steve sighed in relief. As long as Peter was okay, that’s all that mattered. Him having a tiny bit of chest pain wasn’t too much to worry about. It would only be a real problem if he started coughing up blood again.“Let me know if it gets any worse.”

 

“I will,” Peter knew he had to tell his parents sooner or later because  if he keeps hiding this, it was only going to bite him in the ass in the end. Maybe if he could muddle through the pain for a little while until his parents are happy again then he could tell them. But until then, he wasn't going to say anything.

 

The rest of the car ride was silent until they pulled up into a parking spot next to a curb. Beyond it extend feet of grassland with a wide lake that reflected the bright blue sky and the images of the people standing near it..  When Peter looked to his left, the sight of Wade’s black car made him smile internally.

 

Steve and him stepped out of the car as he laid eyes on Wade skipping stones and laughing along with someone else. Peter had to squint his eyes to get a closer look. The other person had a muscular build… black hair that stopped at the shoulders…

 

And then they turned around when Wade pointed towards Peter and his father, notifying him about their arrival.

 

_It was Bucky._

 

_Bucky Barnes._

 

Peter could feel the color rise to his cheek as he saw Bucky’s smile grow the longer they made eye contact. He had known him since he was a kid. They hadn’t seen each other in a couple years and Peter didn’t know how much he missed him until now.

 

“You didn’t tell me Bucky was here,” Peter said at Steve.

 

“I wanted it to be a surprise,” His father replied, shrugging happily. Bucky had been wanting to see Peter ever since he found out about everything going between him and his father.

 

When he turned back in front of him, he could see Bucky jogging towards him.

 

“Hey Bucky,” Peter smiled as his tiny body was engulfed in a gigantic bear hug.

 

“Hey there, little one.” He whispered. It was nice seeing Peter again after so long. From what Steve told him, it seemed like what Peter was going through from Tony was absolutely brutal. What Tony was doing to his family was torture, plain and simple. All Bucky wanted to do was let Peter know that he would always be here if he needed anyone to talk to and that he cared about him.

 

Peter sighed onto his chest. “I’ve missed you too, Bucky,”

 

“Hey there Mr. Rogers,” Wade finally spoke up. “Thank you for inviting me… I’m so glad I can be here.” First off, he and Bucky were now friends. In the beginning, Wade was a bit intimidated by the other guy but… he wasn’t that scary when he got to know him. Wade started to  ramble and Bucky didn’t get annoyed like most people would. Instead, he just listened patiently. After that, they started skipping stones together.

 

Now he got to spend time with Peter?

 

_Sweeeeet_

 

“You can just call me Steve,” The blond said.

 

Wade tried to hide the smile forming on his face. He had gotten to first name basis with Steve.

 

_‘Nice job Wade!’_

 

Now if he could get to that stage with Tony…

 

“Okay,” Wade smiled.

 

When Barnes pulled away, he turned towards Wade and Steve before looking back down at Peter. “Alright,” He started. “I’m going to steal your Dad for a while…”

 

“Loverboy is making googly eyes at you.”

 

“W-What?” Wade blushed. He was just looking down at Peter…admiring him. He didn’t think think he was googly eyes at  him.

 

Okay, maybe he was.

A little bit.

 

The eyes were the window to the soul after all.

 

“I-I-I was not-”

 

“You were,” Steve said. There was nothing wrong with that. It was evident how much Wade loved Peter and vise versa. As long as Peter was happy and Wade was treating him well, what was the problem? Steve was happy for the both of them and he hoped that their love would last for many many more years.  “Bucky and I will give you kids some time alone,”

 

“Don’t go too far,” Bucky said as he went to Steve’s side.

 

“Okay,” Peter agreed as Wade slipped his hand in his.

 

“Have fun you two.” Steve said as he and Bucky made their way in the opposite direction.

 

Laughing and smiling with one another.

 

Wade didn’t even hesitate before he pulled Peter’s body closer to his.“Now for the moment I’ve all been waiting for…” He murmured as the endless stream of kisses consumed Peter’s face. Peter placed his arms around his boyfriend’s neck and stood on his tiptoes so they were equal height.

 

“Steve isn’t even ten feet away yet…” Peter said as he wrapped his arms around Wade’s neck. Their lips brushed against one anothers as their foreheads were pressed together.

 

“I know,” Wade murmured.

 

“I know.”

 

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

 

Making out on a patch of grass?

 

In public?

 

Without caring if other people were staring at them?

 

Perfect ending for a perfect day.

 

They lied down next to one another with each hands intertwined. “I’ve missed this,” Wade sighed happily.

 

“I’ve missed you.” Peter said. Lately, his life has been going to school and seeing Wade a handful of times before he had to go back home to his parents and yet still feel so alone.

 

“I’m really happy Steve let us do this.” Wilson continued. “And I even think that Bucky likes me too.”

 

“Of course Bucky likes you.” Peter replied. Bucky was... Bucky. Peter was sure that he didn’t have a hate filled bone in his body. He was so kind and patient with everyone Peter had seen him meet. Bucky was so loyal and often spoke from his heart. He was an amazing listener and was always there for Peter when he needed him to be.

 

“I wish…” Wade began, “I wish Tony and I could get along like that…”

 

“Well, not even like that. I hope that one day he will actually be able to tolerate my existence.”

 

Peter gave his boyfriend’s hand a reassuring squeeze. He wished that he didn’t beat himself up over this. Tony was going through a rough time… that was all. Just like Steve said before, it was no ones fault.  “I don’t want to talk about him, I want to talk about you…”

 

Wade nodded as he changed his mindset. Today wasn’t about Tony. It was about Peter and him. They should be selfish for once. Nothing else in the world mattered but themselves. “What else do you want to know?”

 

“Anything.”

 

“Okay,”  Wade said, but he didn't say anything afterwards.

 

All he did was stare into Peter’s eyes in complete silence.

 

They were…

 

Soft

 

Kind

 

And loving

 

As always.

 

_In moments like these… he wondered what Peter was thinking about._

 

Wade quickly broke the gaze when he turned upwards towards the sky and pointed up at the clouds.

 

“Do you see that there?” He asked.

 

“What?”

 

“That.”

 

Peter went from his side onto his back. Luckily, it was much easier to breathe that way. “All I see is a cloud.” He murmured.

 

“Use your imagination…” Wade said. “You’re so serious all the time… c’mon get creative for once?”

 

“To me it looks like… a  nine legged cat sitting on top of… a christmas tree with a… fall out boy tee shirt on.”

 

_‘Interesting.’_

 

“Wanna know something cool?” Peter said, smiling.

 

“Ice.” Wade replied.

 

“Did you know that clouds are made out of billions of drops of water or ice crystals that settle on dust particles hanging around in our atmosphere which, if I might add,  is made out of seventy-eight percent nitrogen, twenty-one percent oxygen, nine percent argon, and about three percent carbon dioxide?”

 

“The droplets are about a diameter of about a hundredth of a millimetre… imagine how much one cubic metre of air would contain?”

 

Peter didn’t notice that he went through another rant. He couldn’t help himself, it was easy to get lost in the clouds. He turned towards his right and saw Wade staring right t him.

 

“I said be creative,” He spoke up. “Not recite me my eighth grade Earth Science textbook.”

 

“How long have you been staring at me?” Peter questioned.

 

Wade shrugged, “Not too long.”

 

Peter stared at his boyfriend as a tiny grin crept on his face. “How long have you been making googly eyes at me?”

 

There wasn’t a moment's hesitation before Wade spoke his next few words. “Since I first saw you. Did I tell you that you look really beautiful today?”

 

“About eight times…” Peter said. Not like he was keeping count or anything…

 

“Pete.” Wade’s eyes dropped to their hands as his voice lost the joy it had before.

 

“Yes?”

 

“I'm going to ask you a question… and I want you to be completely honest with me…”

 

“Always,”

 

There was a long pause before Wade finally locked eye contact with Peter again. “What are you afraid of?”

 

“What?”

 

“What are you afraid of? His boyfriend repeated as he sat up.

Peter sat up also and paused. He had to stop for a few moments before he could answer this question. His life had been a shit show for him an his parents. He was scared to die as he’s always wondered what was on the other side. He was also scared of someone he loved dying.

 

Again.

How would he move on if Tony _or_ Steve died?

 

What if Tony _and_ Steve die before he does?

 

What about Gwen?

 

Or Wade.

 

He was afraid of a lot of things.

 

“I guess I'm afraid of… drowning,” Peter said quickly. He didn’t even want to think of someone he loved dying and he sure as hell didn’t want to talk about it either.

 

“Drowning?” Wade asked.

 

“Yeah,” Peter nodded slowly. Obviously he had never been swimming so it wasn’t that type of drowning. It was pleural effusion. It was when the fluid build up between his lungs and his chest. Since the cancer in his lung was pretty bad… it happened randomly. He would go to bed fine one night and then he would wake up with a pressuring agony leaving him unable to breathe.

 

Oceans crashed over his head as the dark swallowed his body whole. He was fighting to do the one basic instinct that his cancer denied him of . As more time passed in this state, the more his pain increased and his desire to live decreased.

 

He remembered once when he was fifteen… it got really bad.

 

There was so much fluid that they didn’t have enough time to put him under anesthesia before they inserted the chest tube inside. He could never forget the feeling of where they cut the side of his body open, and shoved it in.

 

There were doctors pulling Steve and Tony out of the emergency room. Peter was screaming for them to stay because he was so scared of what would happen next. If he were going to die, he wanted to his parents to be next to him. After that, they strapped a tight oxygen mask to his face as they cut away  his shirt and made the first incision.

 

The pain was immense, but for some reason… his body refused to go under immediately.

 

He didn’t know how long he was screaming for.

 

“I don't think I can explain how terrifying it is to drown…”

 

Peter shook the memory from his mind. He didn’t want to think about it. “What are you afraid of?”

 

“Being forgotten.” Wade admitted. When his mom was on her death bed in the hospital, a tumor the size of a golf ball grew in her brain. It affected her memory and… she forgot who her family was.

 

She died not knowing who Wade was.

 

It still hurt to this day.

 

“If anything happens,” Wade began. “Don't forget me, please?”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

He sighed. “Whatever happens to me… just don't forget me…”

 

“What’s going on?” Peter asked, he could feel the fear creeping up his spine. The morbid tone of Wade’s voice was too familiar.

 

It sounded like the _‘Goodbye’_ tone.

 

_The one used when a loved one is telling you that… they’re dying._

 

“Nothing,” Wade said but he didn't look very convincing.

 

“Are you dying?” Peter asked as he held his boyfriend’s hand in his. His heart started thumping as his clammy palms began to shake. “Please tell me you’re not dying.”

 

_‘Not you too.’_

 

“Pete-” Wade tried.

 

“The… the tone of your voice makes it seem like you're dying” Peter’s voice shook. “Are you dying?”

 

Wade threw his arms around his boyfriend and held him tight. “I'm not dying…” He murmured into him.  “I’m healthy… I’m fine.”

 

Peter buried his head into Wade’s shoulder. He could feel his heart slow and his breathing return to normal. “You… you can’t say that kind of stuff to me.”

 

“I’m sorry…” Wade apologized, “It's just that… with Tony and all…”

 

Peter broke the hug to make eye contact with him. The last thing he wanted was to talk about was Tony but if Wade kept bringing it up then it must’ve been really important to him. If it mattered this much to Wade  then Peter would listen, always. “What about him?”

 

“I want to make sure…  you're making the right decisions for you…” Wade said.  “And you’re doing the things that you want to do…”

 

“I am.” Peter said.

 

Wade’s eyes darted to the side.“You don't feel… tied down because of me?” he asked. It was impossible to even look at Peter when he said this because his damn eyes were always so patient. It seemed like in Peter’s book, Wade could never do any wrong and that made him feel so guilty because… everything was _wrong_ because of him.

 

“No…” Peter said. _‘Tied down’_ because of Wade? Never. “No of course not… what are you talking about?”

 

“Think about it, Peter…”He spoke up, “Because of me… you’re going through… so much.”

 

“Your house is basically a prison… You can only go to school and the group counseling. Other than that, you have to stay inside. You don't even have your phone anymore.”

 

“I feel like I'm holding you down because if I had never come into your life, then you would still be able to go out with your other friends.. You would have your freedom and your phone.”

 

“You would be…  happy again.”

 

“If I weren't here…  you could be with someone better that Tony would actually approve of.”

 

_‘Perhaps someone that could make you happy in ways that I can't, and will never be able to,’_

 

Peter paused before he cupped his hands around Wade’s cheeks and laid a soft and delicate kis on his lips. “I don't feel tied down, Wade.” Peter said, pulling away. “ I admit things in my life were… _less_ difficult before you came along but we will get through this, won't we?”

 

“Look alive, sunshine. Today is a new day, right?”

 

Wade broke eye contact with Peter as the returning guilt crept into his body. They were always too fucking patient… to fucking kind… inside of them, Wade could do no wrong.

 

But that wasn’t true.

 

Why couldn’t Peter see that?

 

“Yeah, but-” He tried.

 

Peter nudged his boyfriend’s face, “Hey…” He said. “Look at me.”

 

“Look into my eyes, Wade.”

 

Hesitantly, Wade’s glassy ones made contact with Peter’s.

 

“No buts,” His boyfriend continued, “I love you… and I would never give up on that no matter what Tony or anyone else  thinks or feels”

 

“I don't want anyone to make my decisions for me, this is my choice…” Peter said. For his entire life, Everyone else had one hand on his steering wheel while he took the backseat and obeyed silently. He didn’t want to live like that anymore. He was sick of being treated like a child all the time. He was sixteen going seventeen In a couple months… he had to learn to do things on his own and be independent which included, learning to make his own decisions and dealing with the consequences himself. “You are my choice, okay?”

 

“I chose you, wade,”

 

“And my dad _terrifies_ me, but he can't change me or the way I think,”

 

“Me loving you…  is just who I am now,”

 

“Tomorrow can only get better, right?” Peter reassured him. “Who knows, maybe he’ll change his mind,”

 

“And if he doesn't?” Wade asked quietly.

 

“Then he doesn't…” Peter confirmed. “And the way he feels about us will never ever change the way I feel about you,”

 

“I love you, alot…  For most of my life, I’ve been pretty lonely in the name of being safe at home with my parents… My life wasn’t about living and experiencing new things. It was about staying alive. My parents were dead set on protecting me from… everything.”

 

“But, now… because I decided to go to school and get out of that mindset… I feel like I’m finally able to go out and learn more about the person that I want to become... For once in my life I feel like I'm actually _living_ instead of just… _existing_ ,”

 

“And It’s because of you,” Peter smiled. “So thank you.”

 

“So things may be terrible now… but turn that frown upside down for once, please?”

 

“Nothing is forever and the pain now is only temporary. Things have to get worse before they get better.” He said. “So please stop beating yourself up over something that you have no control over… and for something that isn't and will never be your fault.”

 

Peter leaned upwards the tiniest bit to give Wade’s forehead a small kiss.“We’ll get through this together,”

 

“Promise?” Wade asked.

 

“I do,” Peter whispered,

 

_“I do.”_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I have some good and bad news!
> 
> Good: Peter, Steve, and Tony eventually make up!! Yay!!
> 
> Bad: It gets worse before it gets better. A lot worse. With what I have planned for Chapter 19 and 20... yikes. Tony is drunker than usual and Peter does something that he doesn't like and omg poor baby Peter :( . Don't even get me started on the day after it... oh my god. It's a train wreck guys, no doubt. It only gets worse from here. Anyway, I've already spoiled too much. 
> 
> I love you guys! Thanks for reading!
> 
> -Bixiayu
> 
> Oh and can we just admit that we have all been Betty at one point in our lives lol


	19. The End Of All Things

 

_Peter wiped the cascading tears with his hand. “Dad… you know that’s not true.” He cried. “I love you so much-”_

_His father dismissed him, tuning away. “As if I can ever believe a word that comes out of your mouth.” After this whole incident, how could he trust Peter again? “The last thing I ever wanted to do is see you fail, Peter… I just can't...”_

_“I’m saving you from yourself, “ Tony murmured. “I hope you know this...”_

_“You either end your relationship with Wade... or I’m going to pull you out of school.”_

_“What?” Peter cried. He couldn’t break up with Wade… he didn't have the heart to… he made a promise that he intended to keep. But he couldn’t leave school either. It was the only time he spent outside of the house. He was cooped up inside all day and everything was a reminder of his sickness. When he went to school… he felt normal. If he left, a piece of him would stay there along with all of the new friends he has made._

_Gwen_

_Betty_

_Wade_

_“You can’t… you can’t ask me to do this.” He begged, “Please don’t…”_

_Tony’s eyes darkened as he spoke. “I can’t ask you to do this?” He repeated bitterly._

_“Who the hell said anything about asking ?”_

 

**ABOUT 14 HOURS EARLIER**

 

“Duloxetine…”

 

“Aripiprazole and Olanzapine…” Peter murmured.

 

“And… Fluoxetine…”

 

Making sure he had all of his medication in his backpack before he went to school was now a ritual practice. When he only had his anti-cancer medication, it was easier to keep track of everything. He sat on the edge of his bed with his backpack in his lap as he zipped it up.

 

He woke up earlier this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep. With that extra time he just decided to get his lazy self out of bed and get ready.

 

Carefully, he slipped on his backpack being wary of his bruised shoulder. He really hoped that it would go away soon. How much longer can he deal with shoulder pain everytime he moved his arms?

 

A deep sigh left his body as he put on his oxygen tank. Of course the pain would easily go away if he went back to his old form of life support. It was on wheels and all he had to do was roll it around to get from place to place. It was the most ideal for him when he was younger because he didn’t really go anywhere.

 

But now, he was actually at school where he was walking around constantly. If he had the tank where he had to roll it around, not only would it make him less motile, but it would make the other students stare at him more than they already did.

 

So he had the choice of people staring at him?

 

Making him feel even more like an outsider than he already did.

 

Or, he had to deal with less stares _but_ bruises digging into his shoulder whenever he moved.

 

It wasn’t a hard choice. He would take physical pain over emotional anyday.

 

He gave his bed one last glance before standing up and walking over towards his bedroom door. He was expecting when he got downstairs to be greeted with the cold silence of  his parents if Tony even bothered to show up. Steve had to work later this evening so he expected to see his father at the table.

 

The teen took slow steps down the stairs. The last thing he wanted was to trip over his two left feet and fall down them, accidentally breaking his leg or cracking his skull…  again.

 

 _‘You can’t keep doing this!’_ Peter heard Steve’s voice.

 

_‘Are you going to stop me?’_

 

Peter was at the bottom of the staircase when he saw his parents arguing with one another, the usual.

 

Tony had a glass of alcohol in his hand as he stood  in front of the kitchen. Steve was sitting at the dining room table with his head buried in his hands.

 

“Could you please just stop being so selfish for once?” Steve sighed. “It’s not just you anymore…”

 

“You have a child…” Why couldn’t Tony understand that his actions did not only affect him anymore? If something happened to Tony because of his drinking, Peter and Steve would both suffer. Tony was no longer alone but he often acted like he was by Ignoring his husband and his child for days or simply isolating himself.

 

“Peter is fine. Don’t bring him into this.” Tony argued, sipping his drink.

 

The teen took this chance to speak up since neither of his parents even noticed that he entered the room. “No, Dad.” He said, “You guys are fighting alot and it bothers me.”

 

“If you want to yell at someone…  yell at me.” He offered. “I hate it when you guys do this to one another.”

 

That was when Tony slowly turned around, glaring a Peter. Steve’s soft eyes lifted as they made contact with his. The ice was thin enough at home. Peter knew that he would be able to handle it if his parents yelled at him. The last thing he wanted was for them to argue so much that one day… their family ends in a divorce.

“Pete…” Steve tried. It was a shame that it son was being more mature about this than his husband was. He shook his head, Peter shouldn’t have to pay for Tony’s carelessness. The last thing Steve and his husband were going to do was yell at Peter in place for eachother.

 

Without hesitation, Tony grabbed Peter’s hand and shoved his car keys into them. “Go wait in the car.” He commanded. His voice was hard and showed no room for negotiation. Steve was already getting on his last nerve and he really couldn’t deal with Peter blabbing off in his ear. He wanted to get his son out of the house before Tony lost his temper completely and accidentally did something he would regret.

 

“Tony!” Steve warned, shooting up from the table.

 

Peter shook his head. He didn’t want his parents to end up yelling at each other about another thing. “It’s fine., Don’t worry about it.” He said. “I’ll… just be in the car…”

 

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

 

“ _You’re a selfish son of a bitch, you know that, right?” Tony muttered. Their family could be back together again if Peter simply said to Wade ‘I don’t love you’ . Tony would be able to have Steve in his arms again… he would finally stop drinking… they would eat dinner as a family again…_

_They would all be back to normal._

_But no, Peter was in the way._

_He was always getting in the way._

 

**ABOUT 13 HOURS EARLIER**

 

When Tony finally decided to join Peter in the car and drive him to school, the only sound between the two was the car’s quiet hum.  

 

Nothing more.

 

Nothing less.

 

The usual.

 

Peter had his head buried in Stephen King’s _‘Carrie’ ._ He had read that book dozens of times before but since Tony made him wait in his car for a little over an hour, he needed a way to pass the time and distract himself from his thoughts.

 

_‘Sorry is the Kool-Aid of human emotions…’ Peter read. ‘It's what you say when you spill a cup of coffee…  or throw a gutter ball when you're bowling with the girls in the league. True sorrow is as rare as true love…’_

 

Tony’s voice pulled the teen away from his book, “Peter.” He spoke, breaking the silence. His voice was flat. They were at a red light so he might as well do _this_ now. He meant to give this back to Peter ever since he’s noticed that his son had been acting a bit… different but never got the chance to until now.

 

Peter slowly looked up at his Dad. What did he do wrong now? He was quiet just like his father wanted him to be. “Yes?” He asked with low voice. When he spoke, he tried not to be too loud either. What if his dad had a headache like before? Peter really didn’t want to get yelled at twice in one morning.

 

“Here,” Tony said reaching into his pocket. “Take it.”

 

Peter stared up at his father, eyeing him closely. “Wha-” He tried, but he stopped himself when he saw it.  

 

_It was his phone._

 

Did Tony want Peter to have his phone back?

 

No, not really.

 

The  less contact with that Wade kid, the better.

 

But Peter's behavior lately had been… different. Something was going on in Peter’s life that he wasn’t telling him about.

 

And with what Tony installed on his son’s phone… it could get him one step closer into finding out what it was.

 

Peter lifted his hand to take it out of his father’s, but he stopped himself. Tony probably still thought he was grounded so… why was he suddenly giving him his phone back? “Is this a test?” He asked. If Peter tried to accept Tony’s offer, was his father just going to yell at him about how much he didn’t deserve his phone and he was crazy for thinking that he did?

 

“It’s only a test if you make it a test.” Tony muttered. Why was Peter so damn stubborn all the time? All he had to do was take his phone and _not_ say anything. The last thing Tony wanted was a conversation. He wasn’t in a good mood and it was easier to just stay silent.

 

“What does that mean?” Asked Peter.

 

Tony inhaled before letting out a deep exhale. Peter’s voice was… more _grating_ than usual and it was causing him to lose his temper quicker than he anticipated. He could taste the blood seep from his bottom lip as he bit down on it.

 

_‘Keep calm…’_

 

_‘Don’t snap…’_

 

“Dad?”

 

_‘Stay in control…’_

 

_‘Stay in control.’_

 

Worry seeped through Peter’s skin as he saw Tony’s eyes close and his free hand press to his forehead. His father’s once quiet breathing turned into heavy heaves that overtook the silence. The only thing going through Peter’s mind was if his Dad was okay.

 

“A-Are… are you alright-”

 

“JUST SHUT UP AND TAKE THE DAMN PHONE!”

 

Peter flinched backwards as he stared up wide eyed at his father. The teen could’ve sworn that his father was fine two minutes ago. His rage that manifested in his voice got rid of the tiny amount of self-esteem that Wade gave him. The way his Dad’s eyes looked down at him made the teen’s body swell with a sadness that consumed him, making him feel smaller than he already did.

 

Peter couldn’t tell if the sinking pain that radiated outwards in his chest was from his heart bashing against his ribcage or from the fact that he made his father so angry that he felt the need to yell at him, _again_.

 

The shaky hands reached over for the phone as he placed it in his lap and turned away quickly.

 

_‘Don’t cry...’_

 

_‘Don’t cry...’_

 

_‘Please… don’t cry.’_

 

His eyes stung as a silent tear dropped onto a page in his book. Peter tried to calm his breathing as he wiped it away. Crying infront of his dad was the last thing he wanted to do. If Tony saw his tears he would probably yell at him to stop crying, _again_.

 

He blinked the rest of them away as he tried to find his place he left off of. He needed to distract himself from his thoughts and lately, reading was the only thing that seemed to work.

 

_‘When you get smarter you don't stop pulling the wings off flies…’ He read. ‘You just think of better reasons…  for doing it.’_

 

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

 

_Peter closed his eyes and flinched as his father put both of his hands up in defeat. If there was one thing Peter wanted to do, it was die. His father even said it himself, he was a burden. He is and will always be something that his parents just have to deal with._

_He tried his best… he’s always given this world his all...but guessed it wasn’t enough considering he couldn’t make the one person that mattered the most proud._

_‘I’m sorry, Dad.’_

_“But of course… what do I know?” Tony continued. “You refuse to listen to me.”_

_“I gave you basic instructions about how you weren’t allowed to see this boy and yet you went behind my back and whored around with him anyway.”_

_His father pressed his hands to his forehead and squeezed his eyes shut. He really didn’t want to yell again, but it was so hard not to. Why was Peter making him do this? “Sometimes…” He murmured, “I don’t know why I even bother with you anymore.”_

_“Dad…please… ” Peter’s voice cracked.The regret he had was eating him away on the inside. He could tell that his dad was angry, but he was hurting too._

_“ What did I say about speaking?”_

_“I’m… sorry…”_

**ABOUT 10 HOURS EARLIER**

 

“I finally got my phone back,” Peter smiled up at his boyfriend.

 

Wade was currently walking Peter to photography class. He found him walking alone in the hallways, so any opportunity to be by his side and spend even two minutes with him was something Wade was not going to miss.

 

“Really?” He asked, surprised. Wade wasn’t expecting Peter to get his phone back until Tony finally accepted their relationship. Unless it meant that… “Does that mean your Dad is … cool with our relationship now?”

 

“Because like… I remember how you told me that he is italian and... do you know what lengths I would go through to eat homemade garlic bread from an actual italian person?”

 

Peter smiled at the thought. Wade coming over again and they all have a nice meal together. Laughing and smiling like a normal family would. “That’s a bit of a stretch…” He admitted sadly. “I don’t think he is completely okay with it… but I think we're one step closer.”

 

“And he still doesn’t know that… we have been hanging out together… outside of school, right?”

 

“Yeah,” Peter replied. “He’s been super busy with work lately…” The only time he and Wade were able to spend some real time together was during the time that the group counseling took place. Before, they were together only inside of the church. Now, Peter’s father Steve said that if they wanted to, they didn’t have to go there anymore. Ever since they all went to the park together, Steve noticed how much happier Peter was when he was around Wade.

So Instead of going to the church, Peter and Wade could go out as they got back before the counseling ended so Tony wouldn’t know about it.

 

So that’s what Peter and Wade had been doing for the past couple days.

 

An hour together wasn’t too much time, but it was better than nothing.

 

It was enough.

 

“Alright then,” Wade said. “I challenge you to an icecream date tonight.”

 

“An ice cream date?”

 

Wade nodded, smiling. Who didn’t love ice cream? There was an infinite amount of flavors, perfect for every season, and not to mention it helped Wade’s sadness go away.

 

Sad, but true.

 

“Y’know… we go out and get ice cream… you laugh at all my hilarious jokes…” Wade pondered, “You fall more in love with me than you already are.”

 

“I don’t mean to brag but… I can’t help that I was born with incredible good looks, a sharp sense of humor, a charming personality. If you think about it the list just goes on and on Pete…”

 

The brunette rolled his eyes as his boyriend’s arm wrapped around his sides.“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Wilson.” He said.

 

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

 

Peter had his arms crossed over his chest as he was standing helplessly in his closet unsure of what to wear. He was going on a date tonight and he thought that he should look nice. Well ,Peter didn’t think that it was possible for him to look _‘nice’_ so maybe decent was a better word to use.

 

He wanted to look decent but not _too_ decent that Tony thought something was up.

 

He knew that they were going to be outside eating ice cream, so he was better off dressing warm. He stared disapprovingly at his pants section. It was, no surprise, colors ranging from a jet black to a dark blue. He sighed as he took the darkest pair off of the hanger and threw it on his bed.

 

Alright, now all he needed to figure out was his shirt and his shoes.

 

Easier said than done.

 

He looked at his shirt section and gave up when he saw how much _‘variation’_ the clothes had. He quickly settled on a black long sleeve shirt with the word _‘Thrasher’_ on it written in white.

 

Time for the shoes

 

Peter looked down at his shoe section and got a good look at all the colors and styles.

 

Yikes.

 

He settled his pair of black converse. He wasn’t a fashion person and he didn’t want to try anything too crazy and end up not matching. After all, Peter knew he could never go wrong with dark colors. Last but not least, he needed to choose a jacket. If he went out in this weather with only a long sleeve and jeans he wouldn’t last five minutes.

 

It took him forever to find it, but it was something in his close that wasn’t black or grey. It was a dark green medium-light jacket that was navy blue on the inside.

 

He sighed as he looked at the clothes he picked.

 

No one can say he didn’t at least _try_.

 

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

 

“Are you cold?” Wade asked, “I can make my car warmer if you want.”

 

He and Peter were both inside of his car on their way to, what Wade called, the _‘best place to get ice cream in the history of ice cream’_ . They left the small church a couple minutes after Tony dropped Peter because Steve was at work. Wade used to come here with his Mom when he was younger. He had too many good memories from this place with his family so he wanted to make a few with Peter also.

 

“Wade,” Peter began. “For the third time… I’m okay.”

 

Hazel eyes glanced at him before turning back towards the road. “Just making sure.” He said. To him, it wasn’t that bad outside but he knew that Peter got cold easily and he wanted him to be as comfortable as possible.

 

“If something happened to you… your parents would actually kill me.”

 

“No, they wouldn’t.”

 

Wade remembered earlier in the school year when Peter told him about his lungs filling up with fluid in the middle of the night. He couldn’t breathe and ended up being hospitalized for a couple days. What if that happened when they were out?

 

Or something worse?

 

“What if… I can’t get you to the hospital in time?” Asked Wade. What if there was really bad traffic or he accidentally lost Peter in a crowd? Peter’s death would be on his hands, wouldn’t it?

 

Peter stared out the window. “Then I’ll probably die.” He said. He’s accepted the fact that things like this may happen. His body was a wild card… one minute he could be okay… the next he could be wheezing on the floor in pain praying for death. In a world filled with such uncertainty, he could be put into a situation where he needed help and no one would be able to _really_ help him.

 

“That’s not making me feel better.”

 

“Then don’t let me die.”

 

Wade glanced at Peter before looked back to the road. “Be honest…” He began. “Do you trust me… with your life?”

 

Peter turned to him and and without hesitation, “Yes.” He spoke.

 

Afterall, trust was one of the fundamental building blocks of a healthy relationship.

 

A tiny bit of red stained Wade’s cheeks. He didn’t know why, but it felt good when Peter said that. His head went towards the left as he tried to hide the small smile growing on his face. No one had ever trusted him this much in his life before. They all thought he was too irresponsible which was quite true, but he was seventeen now, he was trying to change.

 

He was trying to do better.

 

Peter was in his life now, he wasn’t alone anymore. He had been over a year sober drugs drugs and alcohol and was in a stable and happy relationship. If he didn’t want to stay this way for himself, he was going to do it for Peter.

 

He was going to be better for him.

 

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

 

“ _W-Why don’t you?” The teen asked quietly. “Do you seriously believe that I am... or would ... have sex... with Wade... ?”_

_Tony crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head.“You make it sound like it’s my fault that I don’t trust you.” He retaliated. “You’ve been sneaking around with him behind my back doing god knows what…”_

_“It seems like I am the only one in this house to see that your stupid fifeteen year old crush means absolutely nothing.”_

_Peter blinked back the tears in his eyes as he bit his bottom lip. “I’m… I’m... sixteen...”_

_“THIS IS THE PART WHERE YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH, ALRIGHT!?” Tony exploded with rage. His muscles tensed as his hand rose up towards Peter’s face, but stopped only a few millimeters away. “THE ADULT IS TALKING!”_

**ABOUT 38  MINUTES EARLIER**

 

“That’s not possible…” Peter said shaking his head.

 

“Yes it is,” Wade replied as he took a scoop of his ice cream, “You’re an introvert,”

 

“It’s _not_ possible to determine someone’s personality from their favorite icecream flavor.”

 

After they had gotten their ice cream, they decided to walk around for a little while across a long gray bridge. There weren’t a lot of people at this hour, so it was mostly empty. At the moment, the two boys were in a discussion about Baskin Robbins _‘study’_ on how one’s personality traits are linked through their personality.

 

Wade believed that food was the ultimate secret keeper on earth and last time he checked, ice cream was food. Peter told him that his favorite ice cream flavor was strawberry and according to the survey, strawberry lovers were introverts. Wilson had never really done much research on what that word meant, but he knew it wasn’t a bad thing.

 

When he thought of an introvert, he thought of some who kinda took the time to stop and smell the roses. Peter wasn’t concerned on making a ton of friends and being _‘cool’_ or being adored by everyone. He was happy with only having a tiny handful of close ones. After all, quality over quantity, right?

 

Wade knew he had a lot of people he hung out with, but he wouldn’t consider them his _‘friends’_ because he didn’t talk to some of them often and he couldn’t really remember their names.

 

He definitely had to work on that.

 

Peter somehow always calm given his circumstances and never overreacted. He was patient and kind with Wade even when he did something stupid, as usual. Wilson internally laughed at himself  given the thought that he was older, Peter was _way_ more mature than him. He wasn’t too surprised though. Experiences affect maturity, not age.

 

“That’s… no.” Peter continued. It’s impossible.”

 

“Where’s the science behind it?”

 

Wilson threw his arm around Peter and smiled, looking up at the sky. “You don’t need an explanation for everything…” He said, “Sometimes things are just… the way they are.”

 

“There’s no fighting against things that were simply meant to be.” He continued as he began walking towards the large metal railing of the bridge. He rested his arms on them as he leaned forward still examining the sky. “Or a deeper knowledge that humans aren't smart enough to understand yet.”

 

Peter mickmed Wade’s actions before looking up at him, unsurprised. Wade did this often where they would be talking about a simple thing… and then Wade would sort of gaze off into nothingness and get really philosophical.“How did you get this deep talking about ice cream?” He asked.

 

“What do you think the future holds for us?” Wade questioned as he finally met Peter’s eyes again.

 

Peter broke eye contact before he locked his gaze in front of him. He knew he didn’t have too much time left. Everyday that passed he could feel himself getting worse. This abdomen was stinging, he was coughing up blood, his lung was tightening, and/or his chest was hurting. The list of his pains were only going to increase from here.

 

At this point, he knew that he wasn’t _‘sick’_ anymore. He can’t just take medicine to make it go away and then wake up the next day with no trace of the illness. His cancer was apart of him now.

 

It was one of his defining traits.

 

_‘Stage four lung cancer patient.’_

 

Even when he felt alone, he was sure of one thing and one thing only.

 

It would be the only thing in his life he knew that wouldn’t leave him.

 

He would die with it, just like Tony said he would.

 

The only thing he wanted to see before he left were his parents happy again, Gwen accepted into Oxford, and for Wade to--

 

“Pete?” Wade asked.

 

“I don’t know.” He finally answered. Truth was, he did know. Peter kept himself silent about his impending death. Wade didn’t want him to talk about that kind of stuff. He believed that Peter would live for many many more years. He felt that if Peter made it through this long, than he was strong. His body was strong enough to continue for a long time.

 

Peter disagreed.

 

He thought that because he made it this long, it was almost his time to go. He felt that he was living on limited time. His medicine could keep his cancer stable for how long? The treatment could keep him alive for how long? What other body parts could they remove? Cancer already took one of his lungs and if something happened to his other one, that was it.

 

He was finished.

 

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” Wade asked.

 

Peter turned up and stared up at the sky. He soaked in the dark hue of blue that swept across the atmosphere. The sun gradually began to hide itself from the world as it slipped behind a bunch of tall buildings in the distance. The clouds were still graced with some of the sun’s glorious light as their tips manifested into a soothing orange.

 

“I’ve always wanted to do something with… environmental science.” He said.

 

“Why science?”

 

“Science explains everything.” Peter said. Even how a four year old got cancer in the first place. Besides the fact that his lungs were underdeveloped, but he inherited a DNA mutation in his sixth chromosome which made him more likely to get it. The doctors said it could’ve been from one or both of his biological parents.

 

“What about you?” Peter asked, “What does your heart desire to achieve in the future?”

 

The corners of Wade’s cheek rose about a millimeter before he spoke again. “Can I be honest with you?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“My plan… is you, Pete.” Wade admitted.  “I’m sorry, but you can’t get rid of me.”

 

“You’ve got your hooks too deep in me.”

 

“I’m following you now…” He continued. When he grew up, his only goal was to be happy and his happiness was Peter’s happiness, always. If Wade had to rob all the stairs in the sky to keep a smile on Peter’s face, he would without hesitation.  “I’m just going to follow you for the rest of my miserable life.”

 

Peter’s eyes were downcast as he stared at the water. When he as younger and he looked down from heights, he wondered what it was like to fall. If he jumped… the impact would shatter his body completely. It could be quick. A death like that was better than the agony he would soon have to endure … tomorrow?  a month? Three months? A year?  “In a few years…  you’ll be forced to create a new plan.” He said, looking at his pathetic reflection in the water.

 

His life was just a waiting game.

 

“We’ll cross that bridge _if_ we come to it.” Wade said staring down at the water. He refused to think about Peter’s death now. As far as he knew, his boyfriend wasn’t dying or going anywhere anytime soon. Right now, he wanted to show Peter that he is, and will always be loved.

 

Peter closed his eyes to keep in the tears that threatened to fall out, inside. He really didn’t want to die. He wanted to graduate high school, go to college, and even make the world a better place. He wanted to get married to someone he loved and _maybe_ even have a couple children.

 

One day, he wanted to wake up with grey hair and wrinkles on his face. Most people didn't want them, but when the time came Peter knew that he wouldn't mind them. He would embrace them because it was proof that he actually lived.

 

When he died, he wanted it to be of old age. He wanted to pass slowly and happily surrounded by the people he loved, and who loved him back.

 

But he wasn’t fortunate enough to have that, was he?

 

He might graduate high school, but he won't go to college.

 

He had someone he loved, but he was never going to live long enough to get married.

 

He was going to die, but not peacefully.

 

“ _When_ … we come to it.” Peter corrected.

 

“No,” Wade said. “ _If_.”

 

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

 

“How did the counseling go?” Tony asked eyeing his son.

 

“Peter?”

 

The teen looked up slowly at his father and noticed that his eyes bounced off  between him and the road every couple of seconds. “A-Are you talking to me?” He questioned. Usually whenever his father picked him up, the car ride was always silent. Tony’s eyes were always set on the road, and Peter’s would be focused on his hands as they rested in lap.

 

“You’re the only person in the car.”

 

Peter turned away and faced outside the window. There was no way Tony could know that he went out with Wade today instead of the therapy session. Besides the fact that he went out with Wade, if Tony knew that Peter had been hiding it from him this entire time…

 

All hell would break loose.

 

“What did you talk about today?” His father asked.

 

Peter swallowed as he kept his gaze out of the window. He could feel the color rush to his face as his heart pounded in his ears. “It was fine…” He lied. “We ummm… talked about… self-confidence…”

 

“Oh?” Tony said. “Anything else?”

 

Peter laughed nervously, “No… it was a simple day today…”

 

His father nodded his head as he continued speaking. His voice was calm… too calm. It almost sounded like the _normal_ that Peter and his Dad had before but there was something laced in his voice that Peter couldn’t figure out. It was… different. “Did you guys talk about… I don’t know… Honesty?”

 

“Deception?”

 

“Betrayal?”

 

Peter slowly turned his head to face his Dad. He had to hold down his hands to keep the tremors at bay. “What?” He asked, voice small.

 

_‘Did Tony know?’_

 

They were at a red light when Tony gazed into Peter’s eyes, squinting. “You seem really nervous, are you alright?” He asked. For the first time in a while, his voice was not angry or impatient. It was kind but Peter still couldn’t shake off the amount of how much it unsettled him.

 

“I-I’m… okay…” Peter stuttered out, “Is there something going on, Dad?”

 

When the light turned green, Tony placed his hands on the steering wheel. Peter noticed that his father’s knuckles were turning white because of how hard he was squeezing it. “I don’t know Peter…” He murmured. “ _Is_ there something going on?”

 

“Ummm… no… of course not. W-why… why would you think that?” Peter cursed himself. He couldn’t help get rid of the fear that was consuming him. The more he kept fidgeting with himself, the more obvious he was going to make it seem that something was wrong.

 

_‘Just breathe…’_

 

_‘Just breathe… breathe…’_

 

“I was just wondering…” Tony said as his grip on the steering wheel loosened. “We haven’t talked in awhile, don’t you think?”

 

Peter nodded slowly, brushing some of his hair from his eyes. He would give up anything to keep his hands from fidgeting. “Yeah…” He replied quietly. “You’re usually… umm…  so busy all the time…”

 

“Well, you know that I would always make time for you…” Tony continued. His eye no longer terrified Peter to look into anymore. They were soft and caring, just like they used to be five months ago. “And I would never hide anything from you… ”

 

“Of course… “

 

A tense silence swept inside of the car as Tony kept his gaze ahead as Peter kept his down. The only thing the teen hoped for was that they would reach home soon so he could just lock himself inside of his room. Of course Tony could just come in and talk to him there, but Peter hoped that he could just say that he’s not feeling well. If he was lucky enough his dad would forget about this conversation and it would be as if it never existed.

 

Peter’s clammy hands stopped shaking and his chest released some of the tightness it had before. All he had to do was stay quiet and keep calm.

 

_‘Stop being nervous…’_

 

_‘Stop being nervous…’_

 

_‘Stop being nervous…’_

 

“How’s loverboy doing?”

 

Peter’s heart spiked up in his chest when his Dad spoke again. His insides were buzzing with fear as he was praying to anyone to anyone that was listening that his father didn’t know about his endeavors with Wade today.

 

“What’s his name again?” Tony pondered. “Winston… William…”

 

Peter turned his head to face the window. The color rushed back to his face and he could feel the tiny sweat beads forming on his forehead. Why was his father asking about Wade? Now out of all times?

 

_‘Did Tony know?’_

 

“It’s…ummm … it’s…  Wade-”

 

“Right! It’s Wade.” His father chuckled. “My bad, boys like him all look the same.”

 

“How’s life going for him?”

 

“He’s… okay.” Peter whimpered.

 

From the window, Peter could feel the atmosphere shift as his father’s voice lowered. “Do you talk to him often?” He sneered.

 

“S-Sometimes…” He stammered quietly.

 

And from the corner of his eye, he saw Tony’s knuckles turn white on the steering wheel again. He nodded slowly, biting his bottom lip. “I see.” He muttered.

 

“I see.”

 

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

 

Peter couldn’t put into words how relieved he was when he walked past the front door. All he wanted to do was go upstairs and collapse on his bed.The conversation between him and his father in the car emotionally wore him out. Tony seemed a bit off, but luckily it didn’t get any worse than him asking a few questions.

 

“I’ll umm…. Be in my room, Dad.”  Peter said as he began going upstairs.

 

“Aren’t you hungry?” Tony said from the kitchen

 

“I-”

 

Tony took hesitant steps out, moving closer towards his son.“Wait… you probably aren’t” He said. He leaned on the breakfast nook, crossing his arms over his chest. “You know how sweet things _always_ ruin your appetite…”

In that moment, the softness from before vanished. Tony narrowed his eyes down at his son as his eyes were as cold and calculating as before. His voice hardened as the next few words that came from his lips slithered off of them, leaving Peter paralyzed in fear at the bottom of the staircase.

 

“How was the ice cream, _Peter_?”

 

Silence consumed Peter as he stared at his father. He felt the color drain from his face and the pain in his chest start up again. His stomach dropped in his abdomen as his hands began to shake. “H-How… how… did you-” He tried, but the words refused to leave his lips.

 

Tony did know… he knew this entire time.

 

He was _always_ one step ahead.

 

His father shook his head and closed his eyes. How did Peter think that he wouldn’t find out? It started out when Peter started acting differently, that’s when Tony knew something was going on but he knew he couldn’t just ask his son what was going on because he knew he wouldn’t get a straight answer.

 

There was no way he could ask Steve either because his husband would probably lie to keep him out of it.

 

So Tony knew that he had to go it alone to find out what he needed to know.

 

It wasn’t that hard inserting a tracker into Peter’s phone. The biggest challenge was giving the device back to Peter without suspicion.

 

With that, Tony found out that his son wasn’t _really_ going out to the group counseling.

 

And when he noticed Peter’s location change, he followed it. When he arrived, was he really surprised to the image waiting for him?

 

His son was whoring himself him at no other than Wade Wilson.

 

“H-How… did you find me?” His son’s voice shook. To him, Tony didn’t look angry… he just looked pissed. His lips were spread out in a thin line as his father’s eyes were narrowed down at him.

 

“Does it matter?” Tony hissed. “You lied to me.” He even gave Peter a chance to fess up in the car, but his son had no problem lying right to his face. This type of behavior was not normal for Peter, and Tony wasn’t blaming him, not really. It was that Wilson kid… he is a bad influence on his son.

 

“Look… Dad…” Peter whimpered. “Please just hear me out…” If he had a moment to explain what was going on, maybe it won’t end too badly.

 

“No!” Tony yelled as he moved closer to his son. As if he had the patience to _‘hear’_ Peter out. The tiniest amount of trust that he had given to his son was now broken, forever. He gave his son one job and it was not to see Wade. Why were those instructions so fucking hard for him to follow? “I’m sick of listening to your countless excuses trying to excuse your stupid… and reckless behavior!”

 

“Dad… please… ” Peter begged as he took steps backwards towards the wall. The decreasing distance between him and his father created an uneasiness that left him panicking in place. The closer Tony came, the more unsteady his breathing became. There was a degree of fear instilled in him that he couldn’t bring himself to take his eyes away from his Dad.

 

Peter’s back was pressed against the wall as his father’s chest was only a couple inches away from his. Tony’s palms were pressed on the wall with the teen’s small badly caged between them. When they were standing this close, Peter looked up at the hate embedded eyes looming over his with his tear filled ones.

 

He could even smell the alcohol on his father’s clothing.

 

“Steve and I gave up _everything_ for you!” Tony screamed. Peter had to bury his face in his hands because he was too afraid to maintain eye contact. “EVERYTHING!” Tony’s rage continued as he slammed on the wall with the palm of his hands.

 

Peter flinched as he felt the thump of the wall through his body. His heart palpitated in his chest, pumping terror through his bloodstream. The sobs that left his body left him heaving and struggling for air.

 

“We poured our hearts, our time, our money, and our love into you. And for what?! For you to just  run off and ruin your life?! We didn’t have to put as much into you as we did, you know that right?”

 

“Some parents don’t give a damn about their fucking children!”

 

“But Steve and I did because we actually love you Peter. Can Wilson say the same? Do you think that he actually cares if you live or die?”

 

“I… I…-”

 

“ANSWER ME!”

 

Peter cried, trying to muster out an answer. “Y-Yes… h-he…”

 

“Look at me…” Tony growled.  “When I’m talking to you...”

 

It took all of the teen’s confidence to remove his hands from his face. He was thankful that there were still enough tears in his eyes to blur the image of his father in front of him.

 

Tony tried to control his anger, but he didn’t have enough strength to anymore. He finished all his alcohol and didn't’ have enough time to get some more because he was too busy trying to put together what the hell was going on with Peter. He has tried to be patient… so fucking patient but he has had it with his son’s idiotic behavior.

 

“Do you really believe that he loves you?” Tony muttered bitterly. “What would he _possibly_ see in… you?”

 

“Why can’t you realize that he only wants one thing from you?”

 

Peter sniffled as he looked up cowardly at his father. The last thing on Peter’s mind was sex and Wade hadn’t even mentioned it either. Even if, Peter just knew Wade wasn’t only with him to use him for that. He is not that type of person. “Why are you trying so hard to make him like you? There’s always going to be someone better. Always.”

 

“W-Wade isn’t… he’s not…” Peter trembled. “No… he’s not that type of… p-person…”

 

Stark felt that old anger swell inside of him, again. Why the hell was Peter so trusting all the time? Was he seriously this fucking naive to what is really going on? They couldn’t afford to be so quick to trust. Not after what happened with Westcott.... Not again.

 

Never again.

 

“Why can’t you just see that I’m trying to help you?” He shot.

 

“I… I thought you would be happy for me...” Peter cried, wiping away the tears that fell from his eyes.He was living for once. He was happy and he felt normal. Isn’t that what Tony always wanted for him? All he wanted was for his dad to just _talk_ to him. Why was he always… _yelling_? The teen didn’t want to be pinned against the wall crying his eyes out… he only wanted his dad to talk to him.

 

Tony looked down at Peter wide eyed with his lips slightly parted. “Happy that you’re out throwing yourself at the first person that will compliment you?” He blurted harshly. “Happy that you’re out destroying your life?”

 

“What type of parent do you think I am?”

 

“All we…  did was go out for…  ice cream… we-” Peter tried, but he was interrupted by his father’s scoff.

 

“And you expect me to believe that?”

 

“W-Why don’t you?” The teen asked quietly. “Do you seriously believe that I am... or _would_... have sex... with Wade... ?”

 

Tony crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head.“You make it sound like it’s _my_ fault that I don’t trust you.” He retaliated. “You’ve been sneaking around with him behind my back doing god knows what…”

 

“It seems like _I_ am the only one in this house to see that your stupid fifeteen year old crush means absolutely nothing.”

 

Peter blinked back the tears in his eyes as he bit his bottom lip. “I’m… I’m... sixteen...”

 

“THIS IS THE PART WHERE YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH, ALRIGHT!?” Tony exploded with rage. His muscles tensed as his hand rose up towards Peter’s face, but stopped only a few millimeters away. “THE ADULT IS TALKING!”

 

“You’re a child, Peter...” He continued, breathing heavily to calm himself down. “An incompetent child.... You don’t know what love is yet...”

 

“If something else happened to you, _again_ , because _I_ wasn’t doing my job as parent correctly... I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.”

 

“You’re my burden! Do you understand that!?” He yelled. “If _you_ get hurt… that's on _me_!”

 

“I don’t need anything else from you on my conscious... not again.”

 

Peter closed his eyes and flinched as his father put both of his hands up in defeat. If there was one thing Peter wanted to do, it was die. His father even said it himself, he was a burden. He is and will always be something that his parents just have to deal with.

 

He tried his best… he’s always given this world his all...but guessed it wasn’t enough considering he couldn’t make the one person that mattered the most proud.

 

_‘I’m sorry, Dad.’_

 

“But of course… what do I know?” Tony continued. “You refuse to listen to me.”

 

“I gave you basic instructions about how you weren’t allowed to see this boy and _yet_ you went behind my back and whored around with him anyway.”

 

His father pressed his hands to his forehead and squeezed his eyes shut. He really didn’t want to yell again, but it was so hard not to. Why was Peter making him do this? “Sometimes…” He murmured, “I don’t know why I even bother with _you_ anymore.”

 

“Dad…please… ” Peter’s voice cracked.The regret he had was eating him away on the inside. He could tell that his dad was angry, but he was hurting too.

 

“ _What_ did I say about speaking?”

 

“I’m… sorry…”

 

Tony let out a deep sigh. He didn’t want to say this, but he had to tell his son the truth. “The only reason why he wants you is because of how innocent you are.” Tony’s voice had traces of bitterness in it, but it wasn’t as much as before. It was quieter and shaking just the slightest. “I’ve been working my ass off not to  let you fall into his deception… but I’m so tired of this…”

 

“I'm just… I’m so tired of _you_.”

 

“Just give him your virginity if you haven’t already.”

 

He felt so betrayed and... _angry_ that Peter would do something like this. Tony thought that he did a good job of raising him... but he guessed not since he turned out like _this_. “You’ve broken my trust for the last time...” Tony murmured.

 

“I trusted you, Peter. Did you know that?” He asked. “ I-I… don’t think I will ever forgive you.”

 

And then Tony said the sentence that no child wanted to hear from their parents. Peter’s heart sunk in his chest as the guilt weighed down his shoulders. The fact that he couldn’t even apologize brought even more tear to his eyes. If he spoke out of line… his father would yell at him _again_ . Peter already made him pretty upset and the last thing he wanted was for him to force his father to yell at him… _again_.

 

_“I’m so disappointed in you.”_

 

Tony sniffled as he cupped his son’s face in his hands, wiping some of the tears away. “It breaks my heart to see that you did this to me.” He whispered.“I’ve sacrificed everything I had for you…”

 

“Every last thing…”

 

“Were my efforts just… not enough for you?”

 

Peter held onto his father’s hands softly. “No… no dad.” He said, “It’s just that-”

 

Tony interrupted him softly. “I can’t understand why you want to date Wade?” Why was his son rushing into things? He was only sixteen, why was he so eager to get into a relationship?

 

“I-”

 

“Look at you....” His father soothed as he placed a kiss on his forehead. “You’re so fragile… still an infant basically.”

 

“You know why I was worried about even sending you to school…” He continued. Tony knew Peter's Health better than anyone. What if something happened at school? Usually whenever his lungs filled up with fluid, he and Steve were right by Peter’s side. He knew that if his son went through something like this alone, he would be terrified. Not to mention how stressful high school was with the bullies and the drama. Peter wasn’t a very social person. He knew that his son wouldn’t be able to handle those situations.  “I only want to keep you safe and sound, kiddo.”

 

“Steve always told me that one day you would start dating… that there would come a day where you would get a…” Tony winced at the thought. “A boyfriend…”

 

“But no, Pete…” Tony continued. “I don’t think you should have one anytime soon. You’re not ready yet. You and I both know that.”

 

“Bu-”

 

“Peter…” His father groaned slightly. “Please stop trying to fight me on this… you know I only know what’s best for you.” He was his father. He one who had cared for him since he was young, held him while he cried, and tried his best to make sure he was always alright.  No one else could say they did that, could they? Tony knew Peter better than he knew himself.

 

“Listen to me, Pete… putting the boyfriend issue to the side… you and I both know that it's a terrible terrible world out there and here you are, trying to eagerly throw yourself into it.” First it was Peter wanting to get a boyfriend and then he will be trying to move out.

 

“With you… something will _always_ go wrong.”

 

Peter sniffled as he looked down at his shoes. Was he really still an infant in his father’s eyes? Maybe his dad was right… he was trying to take on something he couldn’t handle. His heart fell in his chest when he came to the realization that maybe he wasn’t as good as all the other kids his age were. He was weak and could be dependent on his parents until the day he died.

 

He was a parasite, plain and simple.

 

“Kiddo,” Tony pleaded, his voice soft. “Please look at me when I’m talking to you…”

 

Peter lifted his head and looked up as a few tears fell from his eyes and fell onto his father’s hands. “Hey…” Tony shushed, “It’s okay kiddo, you don’t need to cry…”

 

“I’m right here…” His father said as he pulled his son into a warm hug. He used his finger’s to trace small circles on the Peter’s back. “Always…”

 

Peter buried his head into his Dad’s shoulder and ended up crying harder. When he finally hugged his Dad again after so long, it was relieving. Like the pressure of the world was lifted off of his chest. All the burdens he carried didn’t seem to matter that much anymore.

 

It felt like he was home.

 

”I... I c-can’t do this... anymore...” Peter cried.

 

Tony shushed his son, continuing the motions from before. “It’s alright... I’m here... I’m right here, kiddo.”

 

“There are evil people in this world who will only manipulate you and use you…” His father murmured quietly. Just like Westcott did to Peter all those years ago. There was no way in hell he was ever going to let that happen to his son ever again. “Everything you fear is behind that front door, you know that right?”

 

“Listen… you can’t survive without me. You’re so unbearably naive... young... gullible...  clueless...clumsy…  the list just goes on and on kiddo.” Tony _knew_ his son, he didn’t have the people skills or the experience to function as an independent adult. If Peter even tried… it would be a trainwreck.

 

“I’m only trying to protect you from all the bad things that I know will happen.” He warned. “I understand exactly what you’re going through… I was your age once too.”

 

“But you have to remember that the real world is a mess… you won’t be able to last ten minutes on your own...” His father soothed as he ran his hand through his son’s hair. “That’s why I’m here. I’ll always be here, keeping you safe.”

 

“And in return… can you just do one thing for me?”

 

“What do you… what do you want me to do?” Peter asked. He would do almost anything to keep his father like this… the way he was before all of this happened.

 

His father pulled away, placing his hands on his son’s shoulders. His bright brown eyes looked at him, full of compassion. “Forget about Wade…” He offered. “Pretend he never existed.”

 

“It can be just you and I again, don’t you want that?”

 

“You’ll be my boy again… and that’s all that matters.”

 

Peter broke eye contact as his tears stained his shirt. He couldn’t put into words how much he wanted to rebuild his relationship with his dad. He missed _this_. He wanted everything to go back to the way it was before all of this conflict happened that was splitting his family apart.

 

But… choosing between his father and Wade wasn’t the way.

 

Peter made a promise to stay by Wade’s side through all of this. They were going to get through this together, no matter what. Even though half of Peter’s heart was calling him to say yes, the other half was barking at him to say no.

 

“C’mon…” Tony urged. If Peter ended this toxic relationship with Wade, they could all go back to the way that they were before. He and Steve wouldn’t argue as much and Peter would be happier. They would be a normal family again, why couldn't Peter just see that and say yes?

 

“I’m... sorry, Dad…” Peter began, “But… _no_.”

 

That’s when Peter felt his father pull away from him completely. When he looked up, the warm vibe he had from before vanished. Dark brown eyes were staring down at him with disbelief. “W-What… what did you just say to me?” He asked.

 

“No…” Peter repeated a little louder. “I can’t… and you... know this…”

 

Tony folded his arms over his head and glared down at his son. The rage was creeping back up his spine. The anger and the abandonment that he had buried deep inside of his chest was uncontrollable now. Peter didn’t care about this family, so why should he? “I see how it is…” He hissed. What was he _really_ expecting from Peter?  “You’re choosing _him_ over your own family.” After everything that they had been through…after everything that Tony had sacrificed for him…  Peter was ready to throw everything away for some guy.

 

Tony never wanted to be a father because he felt like he would fail as a parent.

 

And he did considering Peter turned out the way he did.

 

He _used_ to have a son… now he doesn’t know who the person looking up at him is.

 

“You’re choosing _him_ over me.” Because Peter wasn’t going to break up with Wade… this plague that has infected their family will continue to consume them.

 

All because of Peter…

 

“You’re a selfish son of a bitch, you know that, right?” Tony muttered. Their family could be back together again if Peter simply said to Wade _‘I don’t love you’_ . Tony would be able to have Steve in his arms again… he would finally stop drinking… they would eat dinner as a family again…

 

They would all be back to normal.

 

But no, Peter was in the way.

 

He was _always_ getting in the way.

 

Ocean waves of sorrow washed over Peter. He wanted his family to return to the way they all were before. He wanted his father to stop drinking, he wanted his parents to stop arguing, and he wanted to be happy again. But… losing Wade in the process wasn’t the way to go. Every fiber Peter had in his body was telling him that it was the wrong thing to do. Maybe he really was... _selfish…_ “I-I’m… I’m…” Peter barely mustered out before his father silenced him.

 

Tony shook his head as he glared down at his son right between the eyes. It took all of Peter’s control to not cover his face again and slide down the wall into a ball and bury his head into his knees. Hs father said he would never forgive him, after all, how could he? … He was just his burden… a waste of space.

 

Maybe Tony should’ve let him die when he had the chance.

 

He couldn’t recognize the person towering over him. Where did Tony go?

 

Where was his Dad?

 

His father’s lip was twitching as his stare alone struck terror through Peter’s body. “Steve wanted to have a normal family but if I’m being honest with myself…I never wanted this…” He said, his voice full of venom. “I never wanted a child…”

 

“I never wanted _you_.”

 

That was the moment when every sensation Peter had was gone. He couldn’t feel… anything anymore. Whenever his father said something hurtful to him, Peter would feel in in his chest. But now, his body _refused_ to process his emotions.

 

“Y-You… never… you never wanted me…?” He whimpered.

 

“Life was easier when it was just Steve and I.” His father continued, ignoring him. “Our lives weren’t perfect, but it sure as hell was better than the way it is now…. And then we got _you_.” It was true. They didn’t have to worry about if Peter would wake up one night with fluid in his lungs or if his cancer would get worse. They didn’t have to worry about education, medication, or an extra mouth to feed.

 

Steve and Tony only had to worry about each other.

 

And then they got Peter.

 

“Your life has sucked the life out of _my_ life... out of _Steve’s_ life... we sacrificed _everything_ just so you could have one and _this_? This... bullshit is how you repay us?”

 

Peter flinched as Tony’s hand jerked upwards and was millimeters from his face, _again_. ”Sometimes, you make my life a fucking nightmare... and I can’t even stand the sight of you, but you know what? I still put up with you, don’t I?” He hissed.

 

“After you’ve had sex with Wade in a couple months, will he be able to say the same?” He scowled at the thought. After their inevitable break up once Wade used his son as a sex object, Peter was going to come back to home crying about how he was wrong and Tony was right this entire time.“Once Wade is sick and tired of having to deal with you…  he will just find someone else that will satisfy his needs.”

 

“But I’m _not_ going to let you destroy yourself…” Tony chuckled bitterly, lowering his hand. “Here I am… caring about someone who doesn’t care about me.”

 

Peter wiped the cascading tears with his hand. “Dad… you know that’s not true.” He cried. “I love you so much-”

 

His father dismissed him, tuning away. “As if I can _ever_ believe a word that comes out of your mouth.” After this whole incident, how could he trust Peter again? He lied right to his face about the entire thing. Tony had to put a tracker in his phone just to get the truth out. “The last thing I ever wanted to do is see you fail, Peter… I just can't...”

 

“I’m saving you from yourself, “ Tony murmured. “I hope you know this...”

 

“You either end your relationship with Wade… or I’m going to pull you out of school.”

 

“What?” Peter cried. He couldn’t break up with Wade… he didn't have the heart to… he made a promise that he intended to keep. But he couldn’t leave school either. It was the only time he spent outside of the house. He was cooped up inside all day and everything was a reminder of his sickness. When he went to school… he felt normal. If he left, a piece of him would stay there along with all of the new friends he has made.

 

Gwen

 

Betty

 

_Wade_

 

“You can’t… you can’t ask me to do this.” He begged, “Please don’t…”

 

Tony’s eyes darkened as he spoke. “I can’t _ask_ you to do this?” He repeated bitterly.

 

“Who the hell said anything about _asking_?”

 


	20. Glitter Dancing On The Skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW//
> 
> Sexual abuse
> 
> Physical abuse
> 
> Verbal abuse

The concept of time seemed irrelevant.

 

How long had Peter been staring down at this picture?

 

Ten minutes?

 

Thirty minutes?

 

An hour?

 

He sat on the edge of his bed, cocooned in his blankets. The warmth they gave him was the only sense of comfort he had as the impending, cold loneliness he would soon have to endure was desperately trying to suck it all away.

 

A warm tear slid down his face, dropping onto his phone screen. Without hesitation, he wiped it away as he tried to keep the others in.

 

The picture was of him and Wade a few weeks ago when they went to the movies. It was dark outside as one of Wade’s arms were wrapped around Peter’s shoulder’s, pulling him closer. Wade’s hazel eyes were closed as he was in the middle of kissing Peter on the cheek.

 

It was a bit blurry but it didn’t hide the fact that in that photo Peter could actually tell that he was happy.

 

It wasn’t a fake smile he often used on his parents or the doctors, nor was it induced by a bunch of chemicals either.

 

It was genuine for once.

 

He almost didn't recognize himself.

 

Joy wasn’t a common emotion that he had experienced. Afterall, while other children went to Kindergarten he got cancer.

 

Attending school was way out of the question because every couple of months he had to stay at the hospital to receive “treatment”. He was there for months at a time, praying that one day he got better. In the beginning, he actually believed his parents and his doctors when they said that there was still hope.

 

\-------------------

 

_“He’s only in the first stage. This is very easily treatable, you all don’t need to worry.”_

 

_Then…_

 

_“A CT scan revealed that there are a few small tumors in some of his lymph nodes… He’s entered… he’s entered the second stage. But, there’s still hope. You don’t need to worry.”_

 

_And then about a year later…_

 

_“The lymph nodes above his collar bone… have cancerous tissue surrounding them. Peter is in the third stage now, but here is still hope.”_

 

_Until it finally became, “The cancer spread to his liver… Your son has entered the fourth stage… I’m sorry.”_

 

_“The cancer is incurable at this point… all we can do is just… make him comfortable.”_

 

\---------------------

 

Now that Peter reflected on moments like this, it was quite funny how the doctors always asked how the tumors were doing, not him. As long as the tumors were shrinking, that's the only thing that mattered, right?

 

It didn’t matter that he couldn’t keep anything down, right?

 

The tumors were shrinking.

 

He was about thirty pounds underweight since he couldn’t eat. No matter how many blankets he asked for, he was still always so cold. His lips and his fingers were tinted blue as his skin had no color to it. Heavy crescents rested under his eyes, aging him tremendously. Even though he was asleep most of the time, he still looked exhausted.

 

Even in his sleep, the agony never stopped.

 

The “ _Treatment_ ” left scar tissue in his lungs which made it nearly impossible to breathe on his own. Most of the time, there was a tight oxygen mask strapped to his face, painfully pushing air in and out of his them.

 

Staying awake became a chore since the tumors were _sucking_ the life out of him with no mercy.

 

Sometimes, He couldn’t even muster out a simple _‘I love you’_  to his parents.

 

Because of the intensity of his treatment sessions, there was a high chance that he would be infertile when he grew up. Peter wasn’t too bothered by that anyway.Once, he overheard how poor his genetics were and if he were being honest, the last thing he wanted to do was bring children that would suffer the same way that he has.

 

But he didn’t matter, right? His tumors were shrinking and that was all that mattered.

 

Once he finally came home, _‘stable’_ , as the doctors often called it, his days passed by slowly. He didn't go to school, so he had no real friends. Of course he knew Bucky, Pepper, and Sam but he had no one his age. Well, he _had_ Harry. A friend his age that he felt extremely comfortable with. When he was around him, his days didn’t feel as lonesome and having Harry in his life gave him a shred of normalcy.

 

But that didn’t last long, did it?

 

When Harry left, it was as if he took the tiny amount of happiness Peter had with him.

 

It was impossible to voice how the loneliness began to consume him. Slowly, he was falling back into his old self. His isolating tendencies came back along with his thoughts of self hatred. Harry was one of the only people who could convince him that none of this was his fault and things like this, such as his sickness,  just…   _happened_.

 

Harry was the person that helped him realize that it was okay to not be okay.

 

It hurt to go on without him but Peter knew he had to muddle through the pain.

 

Until, Steven Westcott came along.

 

Peter thought they were _actually_ friends and at this point in his life, he was desperate for anyone who could fill the void that Harry left.

 

Skip must’ve seen right through him and used that to his advantage.

 

In the beginning, it was as if Skip really _did_ care about him. He was there when Peter needed someone to talk to about… _everything_. When he was in pain, he held him while he cried and let him know that he would always be there for him. Often, Westcott would gently run his hands through Peter’s long brown hair and sing to him. The aura Skip gave to Peter was naturally soothing. All Westcott had to do was come near Peter and a smile would suddenly grow on the young boy’s face. The sadness deep inside of him vanished. The self-loathing and destructive thoughts left as they were replaced with ones from his friend, letting him know how beautiful, brave, and strong he was.

 

It was a type of warmth that made him feel like everything would be alright.

 

Day by day, the hole in his heart became non-existent.

 

It was becoming easier to _live_ again.

 

Until, Skip started asking him personal questions.

 

Questions about his sexuality and things along those lines.

 

\----------------------

 

_“Do you like boys... or girls?”_

 

_“I…” Peter whispered, tucking some of his hair behind his ear. “I don’t know…” He had never thought about this. He thought he was too young anyway._

 

_Westcott scooted closer to Peter on the couch, running one of his hands through the young boy’s hair. “Well… do you want to know?”_

 

_Peter shook his head slightly, “Not really… I don’t think I’m ready-”_

 

_“Oh come on Einstein… You’re already twelve! You’re becoming a man aren’t you?”_

_“I think it’s time that you know.”_

 

_“What happens if you meet someone and you don't know if you like them or not?”_

 

_Peter looked up, “My Dad told me that it just comes naturally…”_

 

_“When you meet the right person...you just sorta... figure it out.”_

 

_“That only works for some people…” Skip murmured. He used his free hand to softly hold one of Peter’s in his. “If you want, we could... do this test to find out...”_

 

_“Test?”_

 

_“It’s more of a game if you think about it this way.”_

 

_Westcott intertwined his hands with Peter’s, “Look beautiful, you don’t need to worry about it…”_

 

_“It’s easy…”_

 

_“How do we play?”_

 

_A warm grin spread on Skip’s face as he got off of the couch, staring down at Peter. “You need to trust me, okay?” He said as he extended his arm for Peter to grab it._

 

_The young by nodded as he did, lifting himself off of the couch. “I do trust you...”_

 

_“Always.’_

 

_“Alright, Sweetheart,” Skip began, as he brought his finger’s to trail down Peter’s hair, again.  “I need you to take off all your clothes.”_

 

_Wide brown eyes stared up at Westcott, “What?” Peter stuttered, “No… no… I c-can’t…”_

 

_The older male frowned as he got down on his knees, making him and Peter eye level. “I thought you trusted me?” He whimpered as he cupped the boy’s face in his hands._

 

_“I do trust you, Skip…”_

 

_“I promise I do, but-”_

 

_“Then come on, Pete…” He whispered, “Take it off…”_

 

_“I can even help you, see?” He continued as one hand made its way to Peter’ waist, his fingers danced over the button as they moved down to the zipper. “I won’t hurt you… you know I won’t.”_

 

_“I know you trust me to do this… and I trust you to make sure this stays our little secret.”_

 

_“Beautiful…” Westcott soothed, “You don’t need to cry… it’s alright.”_

 

_“I love you… and I would never do anything that could hurt you.”_

 

_“I’m only helping you, remember?”_

 

_The younger boy blinked the tears out of his eyes, “Okay…” He agreed, silently._

 

_“Do it… I trust you.”_

 

\-----------

 

Things were never the same between them after that.

 

How could they be?

 

Skip used Peter’s trust for his own perverted personal gain. He used the fragile vulnerability that the twelve year old had for his own pleasure. After All, they had an unbreakable bond… and Peter could never tell anyone what was going on between them. As Skip would always say, They were _“M.F.E.O (Made for each other) , literally.”_

 

And even though Peter was hurting, he complied because Skip was his friend and he trusted him.

 

But after a while of _this_ , he couldn’t take it anymore. For once, he gave Westcott a clear, _“No.”_

 

Unfortunately, it was too late.

 

\---------

_“No?”_

 

_“Did you just say no to me?”_

 

_“If you don’t  take off your clothes and get on your bed for me right now, I’m going to tell your parents everything that you did.”_

 

_“They won’t forgive you... They will never be able to look at you the same.”_

 

_“And then they will leave you because they won’t even be able to look at you anymore.”_

 

_“Do you really want that?”_

\--------

 

Manipulation, betrayal, and blackmail.

 

It was a vicious cycle.

 

And then, Tony finally walked in on what Skip was doing to Peter.

 

Westcott was physically gone from Peter’s life after that.

 

But mentally, He would haunt him until they day he died.

 

Life was quiet after that. As last shred of innocence was stolen away from him, he realized that maybe… the world would’ve been better off if he and Harry had switched places. After everything he put his parents through, Peter didn’t believe he was actually worth it like everyone said he was.

 

 _Everything_ Skip said to him was a lie except for maybe _one_ thing. If Peter did tell his parents what had happened… they _would_ never be able to see him the same.

 

They would be disgusted in him.

 

They would leave, wouldn’t they?

 

That’s why, to this day, Steve and Tony still don’t know what Westcott did to their son.

 

Peter never talked about it, he couldn’t bring himself to.

 

As he grew up, it became a habit of hiding how he really felt. It was better to keep it inside most of the time because it was easier not to bother anyone anyway. They all had more important things to do and much more important things to worry about.

 

He welcomed loneliness with open arms as he slowly concluded that it was the only thing he deserved for all the pain he put everyone else through.

 

After all, he was a burden.

 

Just like Tony said he was.

 

His existence would weigh them down. He would only be sucking the life out of their life with his constant neediness. Most of the time, he didn’t think he was good enough for anyone else. He didn’t think that he was _good_ enough to be loved romantically by someone else.

 

He was damaged goods.

 

Well, that was what he thought until he met Wade.

 

It felt odd saying this, but he had given Peter all the things Steve and Tony couldn’t.

 

With Wade in his life, The sense of normalcy he once craved came back into him.

 

He trusted Wade with everything he had.

 

He trusted him with his life.

 

Peter knew he didn't have much time left  but he didnt care. He was willing to give his last five, four, or three years on this earth to Wade. He couldn't believe that he was saying this considering he only knew him for a few months… but he wouldn’t hesitate to give the rest of his life just to _this_ one person.

 

Maybe he was a hopeless romantic but it was comforting to think someone, somewhere, was made for him, forever.

 

But, he would never see Wade again.

 

The only person he ever loved would be apart from him, forever.

 

Peter knew that if he wasn't like this, if he wasn’t sick,  he _would_ see Wade again. Maybe he would be able to get a job while still at home and save up to go to college. Ater working and living in a dorm, maybe he and Wade could find a place together. Tony would, without a doubt, disown him, but it was okay.

 

Wade and him would be alone, together.

 

Desperation seeped through Peter’s body as he realized that life was _never_ that easy.

 

His cancer was weighing him down in every way possible.

 

In this life, he won’t able to move out. How could he support himself if he was physically unable to get a job?

 

The thought of doing something online quickly gave him a few ideas before he dismissed it. He doubted that it would be _enough_.

 

Cancer treatment was fucking expensive.

 

Even families who have already established themselves struggled to afford medication for their children. There was no way in hell an eighteen year old trying to go to college would be able to do it either.

 

His life depended on Tony, whether he liked it or not.

 

So, he was stuck here for the rest of his life.

 

Unless…

 

When he was _finally_ eighteen he was legally allowed to leave. Maybe… just maybe he would run away from all of this. Perhaps with Wade if he were willing. Since they wouldn’t have enough money for cancer treatment, Peter knew he would only survive for a couple months. But to him, a few months of living with no cancer treatment as better than living in an quiet house… simply existing.

 

He was going to die here.

 

Without Wade.

 

The tears cascaded from his eyes, completely blurring his phone screen. He used the palm of his hand to wipe it all off, desperate to continue to stare down at the picture of him and Wade. His bottom lip trembled as he put his blanket to his face, trying his best to muffle his sobs.

 

The _only_ person he had ever loved, gone.

 

Since he knew Tony was going to take his phone, the only memory Peter would have of Wade was in his memories. He begged Tony to let him keep the bracelets Wade got for him, but it was no use. Tony took them last night and _‘disposed’_ of them with ease.

 

Peter kept his gaze set on this photo because he wanted to memorize _every_ last detail of Wade's face because he was afraid that as time went on, he would forget what he looked like.

 

The blanket’s protection was futile as loneliness wrapped its arms around his body. Peter couldn’t hold his sobs in any longer as he let his blankets suck up the sounds of his sadness. The pain in his chest was unbearable as it traveled throughout his body, leaving him curled up on his bed.

 

He would miss how Wade used to dance his fingertips in his hair. He would start from the bottom and go up, playing with a slight handful before starting over again. Everytime, he rambled on about how much it was a privilege that Peter loved him and how, _“He was beautiful like he’d never seen before.”_

 

He wouldn't consider himself a narcissist, but he loved it when Wade called him beautiful everyday, even when Peter thought that he wasn’t.

 

Peter’s shaking hand found its way to his lips as he felt his bottom lip tremble. How could he ever forget the euphoria that would flow through his body whenever Wade pressed his lips to his? Well, sometimes, not even his lips.  Wade would sometimes kiss everywhere on his face , making Peter whine for what seemed like ages before his boyfriend finally decided to grace his lips with his.

 

And then after that, they would stare at one another for as long as time permitted. The sadness inside of Peter would fade away as Wade’s presence made him feel wanted. The hazel eyes were warm, bringing a smile to Peter’s face. No matter he tried, he just couldn’t stop. In that moment, nothing else mattered.

 

Only Wade did.

 

Or, sometimes when Wade would wrap his arm around Peter’s body, their breathing would be in sync as their chests grazed over one anothers. Peter would have both his hands wrapped around Wade’s shoulder’s, trying to close as much distance between them as possible. The beauty in their embrace left Peter internally begging for more of _this_ , more of _this_ moment , more years of life just so he could cherish every last day he had with Wade by his side. As they would kiss, Peter would have to stop and pull away _just_ for a couple seconds to smile because _this_ was the happiest he had felt in... his entire life.

 

Peter would give everything he had just to stay like that forever.

 

He wouldn't ask for anything else ever again.

 

If he was given the option to trade in the rest of his days just for _one_ more with Wade, he would do it in a heartbeat.

 

He would give _anything_ for one more night…

 

One last goodbye…

 

He wanted to do it… one last time.

 

Peter wanted Wade to know that his _love_ and his _life_ , was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

 

But he wasn’t lucky enough to have that, was he?

 

No more warm kisses, no more hugs.

 

No more embraces.

 

The only thing Peter got was Wade’s memory painfully digging itself into his heart.

 

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

 

_Knock_

 

_Knock_

 

_“Tony?”_

 

_Knock_

 

Stark rested silently on his chair as he faced away from the door. He threw his head back as he warm shot of vodka went down his throat and burned his stomach. His heart pounded harshly as it made his head throb. His clammy body trembled as cold-hearted anger ran through his veins.

 

He _still_ couldn’t believe Peter had the fucking _audacity_ to go out with Wade even when he told him not to… and then he lied about it to his face.

 

How stupid did Peter think he was?

 

Tony tensed his body with all of his might to keep himself from lashing out and making a mess of his office. He had already consumed one bottle of wine and was on his fifth shot of vodka. Usually, the alcohol would make him feel a bit more calm, but now… it made him so much angrier.

 

But he couldn’t bring himself to stop.

 

_“Tony, I know you’re awake. Please just-”_

 

“What the hell do _you_ want?!” Tony snapped as he turned his head to face the closed door.

 

It was silent on the other side before Steve’s voice hardened, _“I wanted to make sure you’re alright.”_

 

Stark grumbled bitterly before turning away. “I’m fine.”

 

Within a few seconds, he heard the door knob jiggle a bit before a short sigh left the blond’s lips, _“Can you open the door?”_

 

“No.”

 

_“Tony.”_

 

“Why? What do you need?”

 

 _“I need to talk to you.”_ Steve replied, _“And I’m not leaving until you open the door.”_

 

Tony placed his shot glass on his desk as he ran his hands through his hair. All he wanted was for Steve to leave him alone just for five goddamn minutes. Once Steve left for work, maybe Tony could head into Peter’s room and get an answer from the _choice_ he gave him last night.

 

He couldn’t believe Peter was making him do this.

 

All he had to do was end his toxic relationship with Wade and all of this would’ve been over… but no.

 

He was choosing _him_ over his own family.

 

This was _all_ Peter’s fault.

 

Stark’s weak legs shook as he struggled to lift himself up. His eyes fluttered as the room started spinning. All of his muscles ached as each step he took almost made him want to collapse on the ground. He was lucky that he had enough coordination to hold onto the desk to keep him upright.

 

Alcohol was amazing, wasn’t it?

 

Just think of how many years he didn’t have to live because of it.

 

He scoffed as he brushed the thought from his head.

 

_~~He couldn’t kill himself, not now anyway. He had too many fucking responsibilities.~~ _

 

Tony unlocked the door and opened it the slightest. Within an instant, he turned away as the lights were burning into his eyes.

 

“Fuck…” He murmured.

 

“Tony, are you al-”

 

Stark put one hand up, placing it on Steve’s hard chest. “Shhhhh…” He whispered, “You’re so… loud.”

 

Steve gently grabbed his husband’s hand off of him and placed a small kiss on it, “Sorry…” He replied, quietly. “I uhh… I haven’t seen you eat in a while…”

 

“I made you some breakfast… I’m really worried about you…”

 

“I’m not hungry.” Tony replied. In all honesty, he knew that he should eat something to help get rid of his hangover, but he was too pissed off to. The only thing he needed at the moment was to have a cup of coffee with two shots of vodka added to it.

 

Maybe that combination would finally take the anger away for once.

 

“You have to eat, love.” Steve begged as he leaned in closer and kissed his husband for the first time in… _weeks_. “Please?”

 

“I want you to be okay… and does Peter…”

 

That was when Stark pulled away abruptly, ignoring his pounding headache. When he heard _his_ name, it became harder to control the rage that he had been suppressing all night.

 

‘ _Peter…’_

 

_‘PETER…’_

 

 **_‘PETER…’_ **                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      

“Tony, wha-”

 

“Why would Peter want me to be okay when he has been sneaking behind our backs this entire time?”

 

Steve stared down at him, a nervous pit in his stomach made him fearful for what was about to come next of this conversation. “What?”

 

Tony crossed his arms over his chest, glaring up at Steve. “Last night I found out that _he_ had been running around with Wade this entire time!”

 

“Tony…” The blond warned. “Please calm down…”

 

“Me !? Calm down ?!”

 

“Really?”

 

“He was out with _him…_ without our permission or our knowledge! Do you realize that he could have gotten hurt… or worse!”

 

“He’s fine, Tony-”

 

That was when Stark’s eyes widened as he ripped his hand out of Steve’s, “You’re too calm… given the circumstances…”

 

“You’re not even upset… “

 

“Did you know what was going on?”

 

“Tony-”

 

Starks voice lowered as he bitterly hissed, “Cut the fucking shit…”

 

“Did you know!? Did you and Peter…  plan this… behind _my_ back?”

 

“He’s a good kid, Tony...”

 

“Do not bullshit me Rogers!”

 

“Did _you_ know?”

 

Steve looked down before finally staring into Tony’s furious brown eyes.  He had no choice but to tell the truth.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Of course you did…” Tony spat as he took a step backwards, “Of course you fucking knew…” The two people he trusted the most, betrayed him. They were both in this together as they hid it from him. If he hadn’t inserted the tracker inside of Peter’s phone to find out himself,  they would’ve never told him.

 

“Tony, please listen-”

 

“To what!?” He snapped, “For you to lie to me again?!”

 

Steve held one of Tony’s hands in his as he gave it a reassuring squeeze. Only if Tony could give him a chance to explain why he did what he did, maybe his husband would be less angry with him. “Tony-”

 

Stark didn’t hesitate to rip his hand out of Steve’s grip, “Don’t you dare… fucking touch me.”

 

“Y-”

 

“Leave me alone.”

 

“T-”

 

“GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!”

 

Steve paused before regaining his composure to speak again, “No.” He said firmly.

 

Words couldn’t describe how  pissed off he was. Steve lied about this for weeks behind his back and now he thought that a half hearted apology was going to make it better? Why couldn’t his husband just fuck off and leave him alone? “Aren’t you… aren’t you going to work or something?” Tony shot back.

 

“I don’t even know if you were being honest about that…”

 

“Should I even be surprised if you were… if you were…  fucking around with _Barnes_ behind my back?”

 

A tense silence existed between the two as Steve stared down at Tony with his eyes full of confusion. His voice fell quiet as his confidence diminished. The word, “What?” Was the only thing he managed to say.

 

“ _You_ heard me.”

 

“How… how could you even say something like that?”

 

“After everything that we have been through… _everything_ we have been through as a family… you seriously believe that I would-”

 

Tony yelled as the anger manifesting poured into his cold and dark brown eyes. “Give me a fucking break!”

 

“I’ve been here doing everything I can to keep Peter in check, but _you_ on the other hand…”

 

“ _You’re_ always _‘out’_ , doing god knows what with whoever and saying you're at _work_.”

 

“Because I am.”

 

“And for a while…” Stark continued, “I fucking believed it like the idiot it was.”

 

“And now, I find out that you and Peter were both lying right to my face about what he was doing!”

 

“How the hell do you expect me to believe another word that comes out of your mouth?”

 

The blond let out a long frustrated sigh before opening his mouth to speak. He was really trying his best not to yell because he knew it would only anger Tony even more and that’s the last thing either of them wanted. “Look,” He began, “I’m sorry for lying to you. It was wrong, I know.”

 

“But, I did it because I think that Peter should be able to go outside for once. Christ, he’s sixteen, Tony. Doesn’t he deserve at least one friend?”

 

“You need to trust him, more, please. Have you realized how much you terrify him? He can’t even speak to you?”

 

“Respect and fear are the same thing.”

 

“Respect?” Steve asked, “ _Respect_ !?”

 

“How can he respect you when you don’t even respect him?”

 

Steve continued, “Look at yourself, Tony! Look at what you have become!”

 

“Can’t you see that you're driving him away?”

 

“Mark my words... Once he’s eighteen there’s _nothing_ stopping him from taking off.”  

 

Tony’s eyes squinted as he glared upwards, “He wouldn’t _dare_.”

 

“You sure?”

 

Stark turned away towards the floor. How sure was he that Peter wasn’t going to leave him like everybody else in hs life had? No… No...he wasn’t going to think about it. Peter would never do that to him.

 

“You’re going to be late, aren’t you?” Tony blurted. “Send Bucky my regards for me.” He spat as he effortlessly slammed the door, putting even more distance between him and his husband than there already was.

 

The other side of the was silent before Steve finally spoke again, “No, Tony… I’m going to work… just like I said I would. I married _you_ because I love you and I am loyal to only you.”

 

“I know you know this.”

 

_Silence_

 

“I’ll be home… later this evening…”

 

“I love you, Tony... More than anything in this world. Only you, I promi-”

 

_“Can you just leave already?”_

 

“If that will make you happy…” Steve agreed, quietly. “I love you… I’ll see you later.”

_._

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

 

Peter knew that he could’ve called Wade, but wasn’t it easier to do this?

 

If he _wanted_ to, he could tell him about the choice that Tony have him. He could say _‘goodbye’_ and thank Wade for giving him the best few months of his life and that if he had the chance, he would do all of this again.

 

He really would.

 

But maybe if Peter simply… disappeared out of Wade’s life, it would be easier wouldn’t it?

 

It would be like he never existed in the first place.

 

The last memory between them wouldn’t be of Wade crying begging him to stay… It would be of them, smiling at with one another, talking about their future. Peter knew that Wade would graduate high school, go to a great college, get married and have a _long_ good life.

 

All Peter wanted was for Wade to live.

 

He knew that with the decision he was making today, his life was already over before it began. Sitting inside all day going through the same cycles of schoolwork and reading countless books wasn’t living.

 

Not really.

 

Life was about growth and experience. If he was going to spend the rest of his days here in the _same_ room doing the _same_ things talking to the _same_ people never experiencing anything new, then what was the point of even staying alive?

 

That wasn’t life, it seemed more like purgatory.

 

Life was about going out and making many stupid mistakes so when you get older and wiser, you know not to make them again. It was about finding love, being heartbroken, or enjoying being single if you really wanted to. It was about taking chances and risks so when you’re on your deathbed one day, you wouldn't have and regrets, wishing that you would’ve done this _one_ thing.

 

Peter wouldn’t really know.

 

Being locked up inside of a house in the woods wasn’t much of an experience, was it?

 

He would be stuck here for the rest of his days, never moving forward.

 

A weak smile came to Peter’s face as he thought about just running away with Wade one day.

 

Maybe it was a stupid teenage dream, but he had nothing to lose at this point of his life.

 

Peter knew that they wouldn’t have enough money for his cancer medication or prolonged hospital visits, but that was okay.

 

They would get out of here and see the world.

 

They would live.

 

Within a couple of months after Peter’s medication ran out, he knew without a doubt that he would die. But for some reason, a death like that… with Wade by his side made it seem a lot less scary.

 

Peter laughed as he quickly dismissed that thought from his head.

 

The _millisecond_ Tony realized he was gone, he would be hounding his ass. Since Peter knew he was a minor, he would be legally obligated to come home.

 

And how could he be so selfish?

 

There's no way he wanted Wade to watch him die.

 

Peter’s glassy eyes stared down at his phone as he zoomed in on Wade’s face. His lips trembled as a weak smile rose to his lips. _“I love you…”_ He whispered.

 

_“I’ll miss you…”_

 

_“Thank you.”_

 

As his tears dropped onto his phone screen, a shaky finger went to his lock button. As he held it down, _“Goodbye…”_ Escaped his lips.

 

The words, ‘ **POWER OFF’** came to the top of iPhone as his screen darkened.

 

Peter swiped it without hesitation.

 

His phone screen went completely black as the more tears cascaded down his face.

 

Darkness.

 

Wade was now… gone.

 

Forever.

 

His phone was tossed to the foot of his bed as he brought his hands to quickly wipe the tears from his eyes.

 

It was a privilege to _know_ Wade and an _honor_ to be loved by him.

 

Most people never got to experience this.

 

At least Wade would always exist in his memories. His mind was one of the only things that belonged to him.Tony could yell at him all he wanted, but Peter promised himself that Wade would always be safe in his head.

 

Tony couldn't take that away, could he?

 

_“You need to stop crying.”_

 

Peter didn’t even look up at his father who was standing by the door of his room. The brunette said nothing as tried to silence himself, continuing to wipe his tears with his hands.

 

A frustrated sigh escaped Tony’s lips, “Have you made your choice or not?”

 

Peter couldn’t speak as he bit his bottom lip to stop it from trembling. He knew he had to calm down, but he just couldn’t. He was so close to having what he has always wanted, but somehow, it was so far away.

 

He missed Wade already.

 

“Peter,” Tony commanded bitterly, “I need an answer from you _now_ or else i’m making the decision for you.”

 

The teen’s eyes glanced up at Tony to see him glaring down at him crossing his arms. It was terrifying, but Peter knew he needed to speak up. The last thing he wanted was to surrender his right to make the most important decision of his life. “I’ve… I’ve... made up my mind.”

 

“What is it then?”

 

Peter looked down at his tear stained hands as he began to speak.

 

_‘Here goes… everything…’_

 

It was silent for a few seconds before his father began walking closer to him, “For fucks sake, Peter…” Tony hissed. “Stop the goddamn mumbling.”

 

“I said…” Peter repeated louder, closing his eyes. “I’m _not_ breaking up with him.”

 

He closed them because he knew he would be tempted to look up into his father’s eyes which he felt gazing through his skin. Peter knew the choice his father wanted him to make, but he just _couldn’t_.

 

Maybe he’s not breaking up with Wade so he can spare himself the heartbreak and imagine that they’re still together.

 

Maybe it spared him pain that he didn't want to feel.

 

“I…” The teen continued.

 

_‘I don’t care anymore…’_

 

If Tony hated him, then so be it. His father didn’t even want him anyway. He was just a burden. A waste of time, space and energy. If he were dead, then maybe everyone else would be happier anyway.

 

“I… I can’t…”

 

He heard Tony’s footsteps get closer until he arrived at the foot of Peter’s bed, he could feel his father’s presence a few feet away from him. It took all of Peter’s self control not to stop shaking in fear as his stomach dropped.

 

“That’s your choice, really?” Tony scoffed. He knew Peter was pretty stubborn, but he didn’t think that he would actually choose to get pulled out of school.

 

He was sacrificing his high school experience for _one_ guy.

 

What a fucking shame.

 

“I thought I raised you better than this… I thought that you of all people-”

 

“ _Dad…”_ Peter interrupted sofly,  “Please don’t try to convince me otherwise.”

 

Tony’s spat venom with each word that left his mouth as the anger inside of him increased with each breath he took. “I wasn’t going to because it’s not like you listen to me anyway.”

 

“Considering you went behind my back and whored yourself at Wilson. At this point, I don’t know  if you’re still a virgin or not.”

 

Peter looked up at his father, “I am.” He said, defending himself. It hurt that his father still kept thinking that Wade was only using him for sex but deep down, Peter knew he couldn’t change his father’s mind.

 

Tony mumbled bitterly, “As if I would believe that.”

 

“You don’t have to.”

 

Tony reached down to the foot of Peter’s bed and picked up his phone, sliding it into his pocket. “You made the wrong choice, Peter.” He scolded, “I hope you know what this means.”

 

“Yeah…” Peter whispered tearfully, “I do.”

 

“I’ll never see my friends again…”

 

“I’m grounded so I can’t… I can’t…  go outside.”

 

“I’ll just... I’ll just be stuck here ... in this house until the day I die.”

 

His father rolled his eyes before the words “You’re being an irrational child.” Harshly left his lips.

 

“I’m grounded aren’t I?” Peter sniffled. “I can’t even go outside.”

 

“ _Peter_.”

 

“When will this finally be over then?”

 

Tony crossed his arms over his chest, “Depends how well you behave....”

 

Peter shook his head before turning back to his lap, “Yeah... I’m guessing a week after my funeral... if I’m on my _best_ behavior...”

 

“This never would’ve happened if you never went out with Wade.” His father countered as his eyes narrowed. “You and I both know that _everything_ can stop right now... if you end it with him...”

 

“I’ve already made up my mind.”

 

“C’mon Peter... just say yes.”

 

“No.”

 

Tony threw his hands up in defeat as let out an exasperated laugh, “Do you see what I’m talking about?! You’re doing this to yourself!”

 

“ _I’m_ not the one to blame here.”

 

Peter shot up from his bed as he faced his father. _‘He was doing this to himself?’_ What the hell? “You’re forcing me-“

 

That was when Tony whipped around and his icy stare returned. “ _First_ , watch your damn tone when you’re speaking to me.” He snapped, “Second, I’m not _forcing_ you to do anything. I gave you a choice and you picked it!”

 

“ You started all of this! Everything is your fault!” Tony knew that Peter was getting in the way of everything. He was the reason why their family was splitting apart, he was the reason why he started drinking, and he was the only reason why Steve wasn’t home.

 

All because of his stupid ass decision.

 

Peter starred up tearfully and with a shaking voice he whispered, “Me?”

 

“You’re the only other person in this fucking room, aren't you?”

 

“If _you_ had never gotten into a relationship, none of this wouldn't of happened!”

 

“Maybe… maybe... “ Peter mustered out, “If you weren't _always_ trying to micromanage every miniscule aspect of my life none of this would’ve happened!”

 

He felt the tears roll down his cheeks as his vision began to blur, but he wasn’t going to stop. He couldn’t put into words how tired he was of Tony constantly treating like a piece of dirt. His father did terrify him, but what else could he really do to him?  “Maybe… if you weren’t so… weren’t so controlling all the time… I would feel comfortable telling you things… and… and… I wouldn’t feel the need to hide anything from you!”

 

“ Everything I did... was to protect _you_.”

 

Peter huffed as he crossed his arms and stared down at his bed, “By what? yelling at me and constantly putting me down?”

 

“I know that this isn’t about me anymore… this is about you.”

 

“You don’t know _shit_.”

 

The teen looked up as he wiped the tears from his face. For once, they weren’t of sadness or fear. It was all so much anger and frustration. He didn’t know why he was trying so hard to impress someone who never wanted him in the first place. To Tony, Peter knew that he was nothing more than something he had to _deal_ with.”You’re right… I don't know anything.”

“Because I'm just the stupid… foolish child... I'm the one who always needs a chaperone, remember? Because I can’t take care of myself.”

 

“Maybe…” Tony growled, stepping closer. “If you weren't so goddam irrational, I wouldn't have to treat you like this.

 

“Me?” Peter asked, “Irrational?”

 

“You ignored me for weeks! You couldn’t even look at me!”

 

“Are you competent enough to realize that I was busy?”

 

“Doing what?” Peter demanded, “Getting drunk all the time?”

 

For half of a millisecond, Peter watched as his father’s eye expression changed before the deepest, darkest rage consumed them. That look was when Peter felt a twinge of fear race up his abdomen, paralyzing him.

 

“ _Me_ ?” His voice came out as a low and venomous whisper, “All _I_ do is get drunk all the time?”

 

Within an instant, Peter flinched as both of his father’s hands tightly gripped his arms. The brunette tried not to scream as he felt Tony’s fingernails digging into his skin. He wanted to wiggle out, but his body went rigid, filled to the core with fear.

 

This was the first time Tony had ever laid a hand on him.

 

Peter’s face went pale as he tried to speak, but no words were able to form. “I...I…”

 

“I guess _this_ abusive drunk is the reason why you have food on the table, right?” Tony hissed, squeezing harder than he been before. All of the memories from his childhood was coming back along with the sadness that quickly shifted into.. _Hatred_.  “Your abusive… drunk of a father is why you have clothes on your back and a fucking roof over your head!”

 

“Dad… please…”

 

“Dead-beat drunk father didn’t put in a single _penny_ to pay for your cancer treatment because he was too busy getting drunk all the time, right !?”

 

Peter could feel his chest begin to tense as the panic started rising. His father was holding onto is arms too tightly and the pain of his fingernails felt like knives were taking their time to pierce through his skin. His father was way too close and Peter begged his father to let him go, but it was no use.

 

“I was the one who ignored you for most of your life and _beat_ you whenever you stepped out of line, right !? I was the one who sent you off to boarding school and left you to rot!”

 

“I’m just your _drunk…_ abusive father who never gave two shits if you lived or died because I was the one _always_ who put alcohol first before you, is that right?

 

“I… I…”

 

“ANSWER ME!”

 

“Dad… you’re hurting me… Please let go…”

 

His father ignored him as he leaned in closer to Peter’s face, his nails digging deeper and his grip getting tighter and tighter. “Stop taking … and listen to me for once in your life...” He seethed quietly, “Call me whatever the fuck you want, but I want you to know that _I’m_ the only one that fucking cares about you.”

 

“ _Loverboy_? One he’s done using your body, he’s out of your life forever!”

 

“He’ll never even look at you again... and all of _this_ , for him?”

 

“You betrayed _my_ trust and look at what you’re doing to the only family that has ever cared about you!”

 

“Fun fact, Kiddo, no one cares about you but me!”

 

“ _I_ was the one that held you while you cried, _I_ was the one who paid for your treatment, _I_ was the one who kept you alive!”

 

“Without _me_ you wouldn’t be here, would you?”

 

“And your perfect birth parents?” Tony continued, “They didn’t want you. They never gave a rat's ass whether you lived or died!”

 

“They were the ones who left you _alone_ as an infant, barely able to breathe on your own.”

 

I was the one who got you, nurtured you and cared for you-”

 

“So… so…  you own me?” Peter cried, “I’m just your…  property then?”

 

“You're _my_ burden for a reason.”

 

“And while you stay here, in this house, you have to follow my rules.”

 

“If I don’t? What… what will you do to me?”

 

“You’ve taken… you’ve taken... my phone… my f-freedom… the little social… social life I had outside of... you.”

 

“You took... _everything..._ I had!” Peter sobbed, raising his voice. “What the hell ...are you going to ...do to me... now !?”

 

“ _I_ took everything from _you_?” His father repeated, “ _I_ took everything from _you_?”

 

“How dare you say that to me?”

  
“ _You’re_ the reason why I’m always drinking! _You’re_ the reason why my life has become complete shit!”

 

“ _You're_ the reason why Steve and I barely go out! We gave up everything we had to take care of you when _you_ don’t even care about us!”

 

“After we got you, we barely had enough time for each other!”

 

“Our lives… started falling apart when you came along! I knew you were a _fucking_ mistake…”

 

“So all of the things i've sacrificed for you to keep you _alive…_ all of the things I’m doing to keep you safe from people just like Steven Westcott could _never_ compare to the things _that_ you have done for me! ever!”

 

“DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME !?”

 

Peter blinked the warm tears from his eyes as he stared down at the ground. He didn’t have enough confidence to look his father in the eyes. He was just a fucking mistake after all. He was just a burden that his parents had to deal with. Everything was his fault. If he wasn’t here then his parents would be happy again. His only purpose was to be a visual representation of all of Tony’s mistakes.

 

His existence was the reason why no one around him was happy.

 

He knew he was better off dead.

 

It’s not like he mattered anyway.

 

Peter easily shrugged himself out of Tony’s now loose grip. There was some blood running down his arms from the dents Tony’s fingernail made through his skin, but he deserved it anyway, didn’t he?

 

A few scars paled in comparison to the pain Peter had put his family through.

 

He continued crying to himself softly as he made his way to the closet, grabbing the nearest jacket off the shelf.

 

“Peter...” Tony sighed, “Look what you made me do…”

 

The brunette was silent as he slipped the jacket on. He knew his tank was tucked under it, but he didn’t care, he’ll fix it later.

 

Tony’s palms began to sweat as he kept his gaze focused on his son. He was leaning on his closet door, putting on a pair of shoes. Tony knew he shouldn’t of mentioned Westcott, but he couldn’t stop himself.

 

“Peter…” Tony asked nervously. “Peter what are you doing?”

 

“I can't… I can’t… take this anymore.”

 

His father slowly moved closer to Peter’s figure, hands shaking. “Peter please... just... don’t okay? We’ll talk… we can talk this through…  just wait...” He stammered as he gently tried to hold onto one of his son’s free hands but as soon as they made contact, Peter ripped it out of his grasp.

 

“I have... I have to get out of here...” He muttered. If Tony didn’t want him here, fine, it didn’t matter anyway. He and Steve would finally be happy and he would be out of their lives forever.

 

Peter didn’t have anywhere to go and there’s no way he would ever ask Wade to stay with him, after all he didn’t want to be even more  of a burden than he already was.

 

Maybe he could just find a way to dispose of himself.

 

“Peter… stop and think about this, okay?” Tony begged. “Just… listen to me.”

 

“No friends, remember? And lover boy can’t pick you up, can he?”

 

“Peter please... you don’t need to go anywhere... just stay...”

 

“You’re all I have.”

 

“Kiddo, where are you even planning to go?”

 

Peter said nothing as he wiped his tears with the palm of his hand and started walking towards his bedroom door.

 

There was a large river in the forest right behind his house… maybe he could just throw himself in it, putting everyone around him out of their misery.

 

“You can’t survive without me, remember?” Tony continued, following closely behind.

“There’s no you without me!”

 

“You know this, Kiddo! You wouldn’t last five minutes without me!”

 

Peter whipped around towards his father, “I don’t care!” He blurted. Five minutes was all he needed anyway.

 

“Look, kid…” Tony said gently, “Where are you even planning to go?”

 

“I don’t know…” The teen said turning away. “ Just… just…”

 

“Anywhere away from you...”

 

Tony watched as a creeping fear went up his spine. He watched as Peter was trying to leave him too. Tony’s father didn’t want him and neither did his mother. He knew he was driving Steve away so one day… he was probably going to leave him for Barnes…

 

He couldn’t lose Peter too.

 

He can’t...

 

Before Peter’s fingertips could even touch the doorknob, the all too familiar grip latched itself onto one of his arms, yanking him away from the door..

 

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST TRY AND DO !?” Tony’s yelled as his lips were inches away from Peter’s ear. He felt his son struggling in his grip, but Tony didn’t care.

 

“Dad!” Peter screamed. “You’re hurting me!”

 

“YOU HAVE NOWHERE TO GO!”

 

“I KNOW YOU CAN’T TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!”

 

He couldn’t control the terror he had coursing through his blood stream. The pain was increasing as Tony’s voice got louder and louder. “Let … let go of me!”

 

“P-Please!”

 

“THERE ARE MEN OUT THERE JUST LIKE WESCOTT THAT WILL EASILY KIDNAP YOU, RAPE YOU, AND LEAVE YOU FOR DEA-”

 

“Dad…  you're hurting me… please-”

 

“I AM ALL YOU HAVE! NO ONE ELSE WANTS-”

 

“Let go of me!”

 

Tony jerked Peter’s body struggling body towards him with ease. He was sick and tired of this constant unappreciative attitude from Peter. Why couldn’t he just be grateful for once? “I’VE BEEN SO PATIENT WITH YOU AND I’VE HAD IT!”

 

“SHUT UP AND SHOW ME SOME FUCKING RESPECT OR I WILL-”

 

“Dad!” Peter was using all the strength of his free hand to pry Tony’s hand off of his arm. He was ripping, tugging, and pulling away from his father, but he wasn’t strong enough. In this moment, he had never been more terrified in his life.

 

“D-Don’t do th-this… d-don’t do this… st-stop… pl-please you’re h-hurting me…”

 

“I-I’m… so.. so… scared… pl-please…”

 

“WHAT THE HELL DID I SAY ABOUT INTERRUPTING ME !?”

 

That was when it happened so fast.

 

Too fast for either of the two to process.

 

Tony lost it for a split second.

 

And that split second was all it took for the back of his hand to make contact with Peter’s face.

 

One moment, Peter was struggling against Tony’s grip, begging for his father to let him go.

 

And in the next, Tony watched as Peter’s body bashed onto the ground, _head_ first.

 

Tony’s hands went up to his mouth to cover his scream as he saw Peter laying on his side, pushing his oxygen tank from under him. He heard his son whimper as one of his hands went to his ribcage. Peter heaved slightly as his light sobs continued to echo in his bedroom.

 

“P-Peter… I…” Tony tried to muster out as he couldn’t look away from the sight in front of him.

 

He did this.

 

He hit his son.

 

Peter used his free arm to help push his upper body from the ground, groaning slightly.

As he was facing down, his tears fell from his eyes soaking into the carpet. His small body trembled as he kept his eyes closed, shaking his head.

 

Tony took a single step closer but as soon as he did, he regretted the choice.

 

Peter’s eyes shot open as he flinched backwards, eyes wide with fright, “D-Don’t…” He whispered.

 

“Kiddo-”

 

“Don’t come closer to me!”

 

Tony stood there quietly unsure of what to do. He started to drown in his guilt as his bottom lip trembled. He placed one of his hands to his eyes, wiping away some of the impending tears. “Peter… I’m so… im so sorry…”

 

Peter’s eyes didn’t meet his as he continued to stare at the ground, “Get… away from me, Please.. please... just go…”

 

Without hesitation, Tony did what he was told.

 

He turned his heels and walked out of his son’s room, slamming the door shut behind him.

 

Leaving Peter in an empty room surrounded nothing more than the sounds of his hushed sobs to keep him company.  

 

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

 

How could he expect Peter to forgive him if he couldn’t even forgive himself?

 

Tony didn’t know how long it had been since he… since he…

 

He brought his knees to his chest and buried his head into them. The thought of it made him feel sick to his stomach. _“Disgusting.. Disgusting… fucking disgrace…”_ He murmured quietly.

 

The dark room downstairs echoed out his sobs. No matter how hard he tried to stop, the sound seemed to never fade. It was as if this was the universe giving him what he deserves.

 

But this was not enough, was it?

 

He _hit_ Peter…

 

He slapped his own fucking child.

 

Tony didn’t mean to do it. The last thing he ever wanted to do was hit him, but that wasn’t enough. The damage was already done. Tony was lost inside of his drunken rage when Peter tried to leave that it seemed like he had no control over his body. He simply took the backseat and let all of his emotions take over. The rage, the fear, and the abandonment all mixed together as it turned him into a terrifying monster that he didn't even recognize.

 

He hoped that he would be able to forget all of the words he yelled at Peter, but his mind isn't allowing him to

 

All of them stuck, they were etched inside of his brain. Even sometimes, when he’s sitting in silence all alone, his brain plays all of their conversations on repeat. Tony would hear himself yelling at Peter and then his son’s cries and screams begging him to stop.

 

That’s why Tony drank most of the time.

 

To help him forget.

 

It took every ounce of self control he had in him to not reach for another bottle of wine, consuming it completely.

 

Maybe he could binge and then blackout… Maybe when he had a clearer head he could think of a solution to all of this, but not now.

 

He didn’t want to think about how Peter would never  trust him again, he didn’t want to think about how Steve would divorce him in an instant when he found out what he had done, he didn’t want to think about how the man who had tortured him through his entire life was probably laughing at him from beyond the grave.

 

He tried to sleep but he couldn't’ fall under. As the thumping of his heart kept him awake, he thought about how it’s been said that he didn't have a heart.

 

It’s probably true considering what kind of father slaps their child ?

 

No rest for the wicked, he assumed.

 

_‘Peter will never forgive you, Howard.’_

 

_‘He’ll never forgive you…’_

 

His tears darkened his jeans as he began rocking back and forth, shaking his head. His breathing hitched as the guilty inside of his chest, rotted his core. “Shut up… shut up…” He murmured.

 

_‘He hates you…’_

 

Tony ran his hands through his hair frantically,“P-Please stop…”

 

“Please… please...”

 

_‘One Steve finds out what you did, he’ll hate you too.’_

 

_‘Selfish Stark… you care about yourself…’_

 

“Shut up…”

 

_“He’ll leave you for Barnes in a heartbeat.’_

 

His heart raced throughout his body, sending the painful throbs through his body. The room started to spin rapidly, leaving Tony unable to stand up. When he tried, his legs crumpled under his weight as he crushed to the ground. The anxiety had no problem trapping him down and doing whatever it wanted with him. His limbs started tingling as his body started to tremble in fear.

 

The imminent thought of death loomed over his head, leaving it nearly impossible to speak.

 

He curled his body into a ball as he sobbed, _“I said... I was sorry… I said I was sorry… I’m sorry… I’m sorry...”_

 

Then it all stopped.

 

His heart slowed as his breathing returned back to normal. The vertigo in his vision seemed non existent as his body stopped shaking. Slowly, Tony stood up, wiping the tears from his eyes while one hand rested on the wall for support.

 

With his tiny steps, he left his cold office and began heading up the stairs. It took a lot of effort not to collapse since he was still pretty hungover from last night and him drinking a full bottle of wine this morning wasn’t helping t all.

 

Once he reached the top, he paused as he took a moment to catch his breath. Each step he took left a pounding in his head and his chest felt like it was burning him from the inside out. His lungs struggled to inhale and exhale to their full capacity as he was on the brink of  beginning to wheeze.

 

_‘Peter needs you.’_

 

_‘Get the fuck upstairs.’_

 

Eyes fluttering, he held onto the railing and made his way up the staircase the the top floor. He made his way down the long and narrow hallway to the closed bedroom door of his son.

 

His dull brown eyes went towards the ground to see an ice pack, making a tiny puddle of water as it melted.

 

This was Tony’s eighth visit to his son’s room. He had left the icepack there god knows how long ago, begging Peter to open his door, but he never did.

 

He walked over towards the door and paused before knocking slightly, “Kiddo… it’s me, Dad…”

 

“The ice pack is still here… if you still need it..”

 

_Silence_

 

“I’m so sorry, Pete… please… please just open the door…”

 

“I didn’t mean to hurt you… I love you so much… you’re my … everything and…  you know this.”

 

“Please say… something… Anything.”

 

_Silence_

 

“Well… I’m going … to be downstairs… if you need me… or want to talk.”

 

“I’ll always be right here, kiddo.”

 

Tony sighed he turned away, walking back down the long hallway he came from. Disappointment hung his chest down as he realized how loud silence really was.

 

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

 

A deep sigh of relief escaped Steve’s lips as he went up the stairs in front of the house, pulling out his key. He couldn't put into words how glad he was to be home already. Work was busier than usual and he was completely exhausted. Maybe today, he could talk to Tony about what he said this morning... About him having an affair with Bucky behind his back.

 

It was a completely wild accusation, but Steve guessed that Tony only said that because he lied to him. Maybe if he could just have a few minutes to  explain, he hoped he could have Tony forget all about that thought. Steve would rather have angry at him for lying than have his husband think that he was cheating on him...

 

Steve would never even think about that. He loved Tony with everything he had and he wanted him to know that too.

 

He pulled out his key and unlocked the door. The warmth of the inside surrounded him, replacing the chill from the outdoors. “Tony?” He called.

 

_No answer._

 

“Peter?”

 

_Silence._

 

Steve kept quiet as he made his way towards the kitchen. He expected it to be empty but instead he saw Tony there, his back turned to him. His hands were placed onto the counter as his head was face down.

 

“Tony? Love?” He asked. “I hope you’re not still mad about this morning… I thought about what you said… about Bucky…”

 

“I’m not… and I would never do that to you.”

 

“I understand if you're mad that I lied to you about Wade and Peter… and I deserve it… but I just want you to know that… I love you… only you.”

“If you ever want to talk to me, I’m here for you always.”

 

Steve started quietly, hoping to get a reaction at least, but Tony's figure was still. He didn't say anything and his breaths so quiet that Steve wasn't even sure if he was breathing or not

 

“Tony?” He called out again.

 

His husband returned silence.

 

The bond tapped his fingers on the breakfast nook idly before sighing. Maybe Tony just needed some space. “Okay then…” Steve began, “I’ll be upstairs…”

 

He turned his heels and took a few steps away before a light voice brought him back,

 

“ _Steve_.”

 

Obediently, the blond turned around and went back towards the kitchen, “Yea, Tony?” He said, “Talk to me, please… I’m here for you.”

 

“I made a mistake.” His voice was expressionless.

 

“It’s okay.” Steve said, “I forgive-”

 

“I’m not talking about Barnes.”

 

Steve narrowed his eyes the slightest as his stomach sank. “What is it then?”

 

The only sound between the two was Tony’s quiet, heaved breathing. His husband watched as he wiped his eyes, shaking his head,

 

“Tony...” Steve said cautiously. “Tell me what you did…”

“I didn’t… I didn’t…  mean to do it…. I need you to know that, Steve…”

 

The fear of the unknown made the adrenaline rush through Steve’s system. “What did you do?” He asked again, voice firm.

 

“Tony, talk to me. You can tell me anything, right?”

 

“We’re partners, remember?”

 

“I…” Tony sniffled, “I… hit Peter today.”

 

Steve could feel his face go completely white as he took a few steps away from the breakfast nook, “No you didn’t” He murmured. Hands shaking, he held them in one another to keep himself from shaking. He knew Tony was going through his own issues… but Steve knew he would never lay a finger on Peter.

 

He promised.

 

“Please… please... tell me you didn’t.” Steve murmured, he felt the lump in his throat as he tried to keep the tears in “Please…”

 

The silence between the two put the answer Steve was dreading inside of his head.

 

“No… no… I don’t believe you... “

 

“Please tell me you’re lying.”

 

Stark turned around and stared a Steve with guilty bloodshot eyes, “How could I lie about something like this?”

 

Steve didn’t even have enough time to take a full breath before he quickly made his way up the stairs. His body that was always so cool and composed, was a shaking mess. His legs trembled with the impending thoughts on how bad this might be. He was terrified for what he was about to witness was probably going to stay in his head forever.

 

He rushed down the long and dark hallway, unsure if he really wanted to open the door or not but he dismissed the thought because it didn’t matter how he was feeling.

 

The only thing on his mind was Peter.

 

When he reached the bedroom door, blue eyes landed on puddle of water underneath a melting ice pack.

 

He didn’t know why, but that made his stomach drop even more.

 

For the past few years, it had always been an unspoken rule to knock on Peter’s door before entering, whether it was unlocked or not. But today was not one of those days. Steve threw himself into the room, eyes tearing up while he was searching for his son.

 

The tiniest shred of relief came to him when he saw Peter on his bed, tucked under his blankets, sleeping. Slowly, Steve walked over and got a good look at him.

 

And there it was, the one thing steve was hoping he wouldn't see.

 

There was a dark red mark on the left side of his face.

 

It started from his jaw line as it extended upwards towards his cheek. The edges were starting to become a purplish blue that faded into a bright red.

 

If Steve looked closely, he could notice the dried tears on his face.

 

He didn't want to wake Peter up. In fact, he didn't even want to touch him but Steve needed to get his son to the emergency room as soon as possible. He had to check for any internal injuries just in case.

 

“Pete..” Steve’s voice quaked. “Peter…

 

He didn’t move.

 

Steve didn’t want to do this, but he had no other choice. He didn’t want to yell Peter’s name to wake him up so he had to try to get him up by shaking his shoulder. In all honesty, this was the last thing he wanted to do considering he had a feeling that he may frighten Peer by doing so.

 

“Pete… wake up please…” He whispered.

 

Within a few seconds, Steve saw Peter’s frantic eyes shoot open. He could feel his son shake under his grip as his breathing stopped _completely_. Steve immediately removed his hand and backed away, “It’s me, Steve.” He continued.

 

Peter’s brown eyes softened as he slowly lifted himself up,  “I-”

 

“I know what happened, Peter.” Steve murmured, “We don’t have to talk about it.”

 

“How are you feeling?”  He asked instead even through that question was rhetorical.

 

Peter’s brown eyes fluttered as his bottom lip started to tremble. His eyes watered at the tears were sitting at the tip of his eyelids. “I’m… I’m f-fine.” He mustered out with a wavering smile.

 

Steve gently pulled Peter into a hug as he cried into his shoulder. His father rubbed his back gently but this time, he wasn’t shushing his cries or telling him it was going to be alright.

 

Instead, he hugged him in silence, letting Peter’s sobs fill the room.

 

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

 

Thankfully, The waiting time for the emergency room wasn’t that long.

 

Once they were called, Steve had to wake Peter up and help him through the hospitals corridors. He had trouble walking on his own as he managed to stumble over his feet every couple of minutes. Once he and Steve reached the room, he helped Peter back onto the bed as he passed out, _again_ , before the doctor came in.

 

The first thing she did was ask Peter where most of his pain was.

 

Sluggishly, he pointed towards one of his sides.

 

Steve had to hold in his tears when the doctor helped Peter take off his jacket and lift up his shirt. There was a big purple bruise growing on the left side of his rib cage.

 

After that, it wasn’t hard to determine that he had a bruised or even fractured ribs.

 

The next thing she did was screen Peter for a concussion because of his head trauma.

 

She started out with simple questions such as,

 

_“What’s your name?”_

 

_“What’s today’s date?”_

 

_“What is your middle name?”_

 

_“Do you know where you are?”_

 

_“What happened?”_

 

She had to repeat herself a few times because Peter was sometimes unresponsive and easily distracted. By the time it was over, Peter had only gotten _two_ out of the five questions correct.

 

Eventually, Steve had to step out of the room.

 

He bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from crying. He trusted Tony with every fiber he had. He thought that if they got closer things could be better again...they would be better for Peter.

 

 _Why_ did Tony do this?

 

Before they even agreed to have a child, Tony swore that he would never do something like this, no matter what. The blond buried his head in his hands as sighed. He should've seen it sooner… he should’ve known that abuse always escalated eventually.

 

And instead of doing something about it… Steve just stood there let it happen.

 

So this was his fault too, wasn't it?

 

**_Buzz_ **

 

**_Buzz_ **

 

**_Buzz_ **

 

Steve pulled his phone out of his pocket, internally praying it wasn’t from who he thought it was.

 

**_Tony Stark_ **

 

It was.

 

Steve ran his hands through his hair as he just let it ring, sending it to voicemail He didn’t know what to say, In all honesty, he didn’t know what to do anymore.

 

How on earth would they all recover from something like this? Maybe with enough effort… he could have helped Tony out of his alcoholism and then he and Peter could repair the damage done to their relationship… but Steve was too late.

 

Tony hit _his_ son.

 

Tony hit _their_ son.

 

How would Peter move on from something like this?

 

Would he forgive Tony?

Perhaps Peter knew that Tony was probably drunk and don't have full control of his actions but that was still _no_ excuse to hit a child.

 

**_Buzz_ **

 

**_Buzz_ **

 

**_Buzz_ **

 

Steve looked down at he phone again, praying that _he_ wasn’t calling again.

 

Luckily, he wasn’t .

 

**_Buck_ **

 

Steve didn't hesitate to pick up the phone. He just needed someone to talk to right now. “Buck…” His voice was quiet as his fingertips were pressed into his eyes, trying to keep the tears in. It was hard not to burst out because there were _so_ many things he wanted to say but he didn't know where to begin.

 

 _“Steve, this is going to sound... weird but…”_ Bucky began, _“Tony, I mean Anthony, called me… asking if Peter was okay?”_

 

_“Sorry about this... I don't want to get into something thats none of my business… but umm… he said he was really worried and wanted to know if you could call him?”_

 

“I can’t do that...”

 

_“Are you alright? If you feel comfortable… you can always talk to me about it…”_

 

_“I’m here for you.”_

 

Steve took a few deep breaths in to calm his breathing before speaking in a low and broken whisper. “He hit Peter.”

 

_“What? Steve, I can't hear you.”_

 

“Tony hit Peter today…” The blond spoke a little louder, “While I was… while I was at work…”

 

_“Oh my god.”_

“I’m in the emergency room now…” Steve continued, “He… he has a pretty bad concussion and a few bruised ribs… but I think he’s going to be alright…”

 

_‘Physically.’_

 

_“I’m so sorry… I’m… Is there anything I can do to help?”_

 

The blond shook his head, “I don’t know…” He replied. The damage to Peter had already been done. In all honesty, Steve didn’t even know how _he_ could help him.

 

_“Was… was Tony drunk?”_

“Again.”

_“Have you guys spoken?”_

“Not since I left… to come here.”

 

_“Are you planning to go back?”_

 

“I don't know…” Steve admitted quietly. Would Peter feel safe at home? What was to say Tony wasn’t going to do this again? And considering his husband was beating himself up over it, there was no doubt he was going right back to the alcohol.

 

_“If you and Peter need a place to lay low for awhile… my house is always open to the both of you.”_

 

“Buck-”

 

 _“I’m serious, Steve”_ He said, _“Peter takes the guest bedroom, you take my bedroom, and I can take the couch.”_

 

_“And I know what you’re thinking. You’re not bothering me. It’s no big deal, I promise.”_

 

_“I don’t have anyone left, Steve. You and your family are my family… I just want to make sure the both of you are okay. I love you guys and if you need anything, I’m always here.”_

 

_“I’m with you until the end of the line, Pal.”_

A smile rose to the corners of his lips as he bit down on it from trembling. What would he do without Bucky? “Until the end of the line, Buck.” He whispered.

 

“T’il the end of the line.”

 

╳╱╲╳╱╲╳╱╲╳

 

Steve’s shoulders were slumped as he unlocked the door and opened it.

 

He knew what he was going to do.

 

He had been dreading it since Tony got back into alcohol, but now he had no choice.

 

Before Steve was even halfway through the door, he heard quick footsteps towards him.  “Is Peter alright?” It was Tony’s voice. Trembling and broken.

 

Steve looked into Tony’s bloodshot eyes before turning away. He knew that  if he stared in them for too long, Tony was going to convince him to stay. No matter how much Steve wanted Tony to get better or how much he wanted to help him get through this… he couldn’t be here anymore.

 

This wasn’t a safe environment to raise a child in.

 

“No thanks to you.” He murmured.

 

“Where… where is he?” Tony asked, his voice quaking. “I need to tell him I’m sorry-“

 

Steve shook his head, closing the door behind him. “Sorry just isn’t enough anymore...”

 

Stark hesitated, swallowing his fear before proceeding. “What are you saying?”

 

“ _Where_ is Peter?”

 

“I can’t…” The blond whispered, “I’m not going to tell you.” Steve knew that it would be better this way.

 

“You can’t… you can’t do this…” Tony argued. His husband couldn’t keep Peter away from him, could he? It wasn’t fair. Yes, Tony knew that hitting his son was unacceptable, but he needed to see Peter again so he could apologize and make things right. “Peter is my son just as he is yours-“  

 

“ _‘I can’t do this’_ ? ” Steve repeated, “You… you _hit_ our son.” His voice broke.

 

“It was an accident!”

 

“And that somehow makes it okay ?!”

 

“I never said that!”

 

Steve ran his hands through his hair as his exhaustion was starting to bring him down. His patience and self control were wearing thin the longer he stayed in this house. “I’m tired of this... I’m just so tired... I don’t know how much longer I can take anymore.”

 

“This has been happening for months... and I’ve been sitting here... letting Peter get hurt by you because I had enough faith that you would change... that you would see how traumatizing you are... but you didn’t...”

 

“This isn’t about Westcott or about his protection... This is about you.”

 

“Selfish…” He muttered, “You’re so damn selfish, Stark. You act like Peter's life _has_ to revolve around you... and if he does something you don’t like, you get angry and hurt him...”

 

“You act like you own him.”

 

“I have been patient... I have been so _damn_ patient with you but I have had it with your actions. I can’t do this anymore.”

 

“You-“ Tony tried.

 

“No,” His husband silenced him,  “This is the part where you listen to me for once.”

 

“You're not you anymore, Tony... You're _exactly_ like your father… you've become everything that you hated.”

 

“The difference between you and Peter is that _you_ knew exactly what your father was doing…”

 

“Peter?” He continued, his voice was firm but only due to him using every ounce of self control to keep himself from yelling. “He thinks that _this_ is love. You convinced him that _this_ is what his life should be like.”

 

“ You broke the boy you promised to protect and I just sat there…” He whispered to himself, “Letting it happen…”

 

“All because I had too much faith that you would change…  but I know that you won’t… you can't.” His voice wavered.

 

“You’re no longer a father... You’re a tyrant.”

 

“And as long this... drunk, angry, and abusive tyrant exists... I’m not letting him near my son ever again.”

 

Steve cleared his throat , internally preparing himself  for for the ache in his heart.

 

_“I’m leaving.”_

 

Vertigo started to dominate Tony’s vision as his skin started to become clammy. His hands started trembling as he had to use all of his strength just to say a few words.

 

“S-Steve… n-no... no,”

 

Steve and Peter… were his everything. He was nothing without them. Tony knew that he has been a total ass… a bad father and a terrible husband, but he was willing to change now.

 

He didn’t want to be alone anymore.

 

“Please… please... don’t do this…” Tony begged, walking closer. He felt the tears well up in his eyes as they blurred his vision. “We can work this through! I can stop… I’ll stop drinking but  please… pl-please… please... don't go Steve.”

 

“I love yo-”

 

“Stop,” Steve interrupted. He knew that if he said those three little words back to Tony, he would stay.

 

He had to be strong for Peter.

 

His son couldn’t live like this anymore.

 

“I’m leaving, Tony…” Steve murmured as his heart weighed down in his chest.

 

“And I’m taking Peter with me.”


	21. Not An Update - Sorry

Hi everyone,

I really hope you all are doing well. As you already know, this isn’t an update, sorry about that. I’m writing this to let you know that I am planning to rewrite the beginning of this story. It sounds dumb, but just hear me out, please. I think that Peter and Wade’s relationship was rushed and it has been bothering me for _months_ . When I first started writing this story, I was not an experienced writer.( I really wish I had taken my time in the beginning, but it is what it is.) Within the course of a year, I feel like I’ve gotten _slightly_ better at this whole writing thing and with the skills I learned, I want the beginning of the story more meaningful. I _really_ want to dig deeper into Peter’s life, past experiences, and his relationship with his parents before he and Wade start seeing each other. I also want more time with Peter and Wade as friends. No _major_ details are going to change so when I’m finished, you don't have to reread the beginning if you don’t want to. If I’m being honest, I'm not sure how long all of this will take but I’m hoping that within a month, the beginning will be rewritten and chapter 22 will come out. Again, I’m sorry for the delay but this has been something I’ve been thinking about for a while.  

 

Sorry and see you soon,

Bixiayu


	22. Status Update :]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I pulled the neglectful dad act I’m sorry

Hi ! I’m really sorry for making you guys wait so long. I’m almost done and I’m really excited with how the chapters are turning out. I just wanted to give you guys a quick update.

 

I don’t wanna spoil anything, so I’ll give the names of the new chapters and you can interpret what you will ! :)

 

  1. When The Sun Found the Moon
  2. If I Believe You
  3. When The Moon Found the Sun
  4. Girls Girls Girls
  5. He’s American
  6. UGH!
  7. Peter, Interrupted
  8. Paris Latino
  9. Shut Up And Dance
  10. I’ll Give You This Smile
  11. In Exchange For Your Time
  12. He Couldn’t Get Out
  13. Redemption Interlude
  14. Make Me A Promise
  15. Green Umbrella Trees
  16. “Are we going to be alright?”
  17. All Was Golden When The Day Met The Night
  18. Tony, Interrupted
  19. When Day Becomes Night
  20. As Cold As Day
  21. Tony Stark?
  22. As Warm As Night
  23. Eyes The Size Of The Moon
  24. The End Of All Things
  25. Glitter Dancing On The Skin
  26. I’ve Got Troubled Thoughts And A Self Esteem To Match



I’m so close to being finished and I’m very excited to share the new story with you all!

I’m still really sorry for taking super long! ;(

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and Comment if you enjoyed! it literally makes my day! :)
> 
> _"When the moon fell in love with the sun... it was golden in the sky... it was golden when the day met the night..."_


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